Authors: K.I. Lynn,N. Isabelle Blanco
I . . . Oh, God, am I still in love with this man? Like, in
in
love with him? Is that why his words have such an intense effect on me?
The world spins.
“Kira?”
“I’ve got to go.” It’s probably the millionth time I try to run away from him. Rounding him, I half-run, half-swim toward the stairs. I’m about to take the first step when his arms come around me from behind, hauling me into his wet body. The feel of him compounds with the emotions I’m struggling with. Hunger hollows out my soul, begging for him.
I struggle against him; he tightens his arms around me and lowers his head next to my ear.
“Let me go, Brayden.”
“No.”
“Why, damn you?
Why
?”
“I need to know.” His breaths are harsh in my ear.
I grind my teeth, squeeze my eyes closed, and struggle to ignore how much I need him. “Know what?”
“What I just saw in your expression . . . I
need
to know it’s real.”
My first fear-fueled instinct is to deny.
Deny, deny, deny
. But I’m too tired to play this stupid game anymore. “Please, let go. Just let go of everything so we can both move on.”
He exhales roughly and bites down into my shoulder. “Never. Do you hear me, Kira? Never.”
This is why hanging out with him is a bad idea. Why I’m so stupid. I can’t keep letting him convince me to spend time with him. Fucking him isn’t helping to get him out of my system, so there’s only one thing left to do.
“It’s over,” I tell him. “Whatever this thing between us was, it’s done. I’m finished fucking you. We had each other, multiple times. There’s no need to continue.”
His arms slacken.
I grab my chance and bolt out of them, practically flying up the stone steps and onto the deck.
That’s where he catches me. I don’t get more than a second’s notice. My ears register the sound of splashing water as he rushes out the pool, then his hands are around my waist, spinning me around so fast I lose my footing on the wet deck.
Brayden catches me and slowly lowers me to the ground. He kneels on the first step, still inside the pool, and tries spreading my legs to make room for his body.
I beat on his shoulders. “It’s over. Just stop already!”
He takes my hits and forces my legs open. Leaning into me, he kisses my cheek softly.
I hit him harder.
For each hit, he gives me another soft, soothing kiss.
“Why are you still here, damn it?” I want to cry. I’ve given this man so many of my tears during my life, and it’s inconceivable that I have yet more to give him.
“Because I love you. I don’t care if you don’t believe me. This man right here can’t breathe without you. Losing you is certain death for me.”
“It’ll never get any better. It’ll always be this. Us fighting. Me reliving the pain. The never-ending fucking misery.”
His lips graze mine. “It’s not just misery and you know it.”
“Ugh!” The worst thing in the world is coming against this level of stubbornness. I won’t budge, and neither will he. “Don’t you hear me? It’s
always
going to be like this. I’ll never be the sweet, innocent, stupid, naive, loving girl with you again.”
“Okay. I’ll take it. For the rest of my life, I’ll take whatever you have to dish out. But I’m not going anywhere.”
An entire lifetime of this? I can barely imagine it, so I don’t know how he can be this accepting of the idea. My heart’s breaking at the thought of never finding peace. Of constantly living in this crazy up-and-down rollercoaster.
How can it be so hard to push someone away when all they bring into your life is pain?
The fight leaves me, and I drop my hands away from him. Panting, I sit here, staring at him, trying to figure out a solution for our fucked-up situation.
“Just forgive me,” he whispers, grabbing my hands gently.
“I can’t,” I whisper back.
“What do I have to do? Why can’t you forgive me?”
“Because I don’t
want
to.” This makes me sound like the biggest bitch on earth, I know that, but it’s true. “You don’t deserve to just have a happily ever after with me. Not after all of that.”
Forgiveness is a choice. A hard, brutal, up-hill battle. In order to embark on that kind of journey, a person has to truly want to do it.
Brayden lifts my hands up to his lips and kisses them like he’d kissed my cheek. “Then I’ll wait until you feel like I deserve that forgiveness.”
There’s no more will in me to fight him. Not right now. I don’t know if the anger will return tomorrow, but as of right now, I just don’t have it in me. I’m drained. I relax, the hostility draining out of me. Letting my fingers curl around his hands, I stare down at our joined hands.
My gut tells me he’s not the one, but my heart wants him so damn bad.
Not just my heart. At the very least, I’ve come to accept that I’ll always need this man’s cock.
Giving in, I slide one of my hands out of his and place it on his wet shoulder. Just touching it is enough to make me tremble with hunger. He stays perfectly still, breaths speeding up, waiting for my next move. Looking away from his eyes, I rub his large, defined shoulder in circles.
I hear his deep swallow, and the sound of it turns me on so much.
Eyes on my hand, I watch it move from his shoulder. My fingers graze his clavicle before moving down to his chest. Beneath my hand, his heart is a wild war drum, a powerful beat that speeds up my own. I trace his nipple, loving the way his breath catches.
“You’re fucking killing me here,” he grits out.
Laughing under my breath, I let my fingers trail down to his glorious, glorious abs. There are no words to describe this six pack. I’ve kissed, licked, and bitten it many times, and I still can’t get over how sexy his midsection is.
I reach the band of his red swim trunks. His cock is even harder than it’d been in the kitchen earlier. Hard and
pulsing
for my touch. Panting, I dip my finger just inside the waistband.
Like a fucking bullet, that man grabs both my hands and maneuvers me so I’m lying on my back. He does it so fast I barely have time to register my new position and then he’s crawling over me, his movements slowing down to that of a deadly predator.
That large body moving over mine with all that barely held-back intent.
I swallow the lump in my throat, arching up toward him.
The cups of my bathing suit top are yanked to the side. I gasp at the feeling of air caressing my exposed nipples. Brayden reaches down and unties his trunks, pulling them down just low enough to slide his cock out.
I wrap my thumbs around my bikini bottoms and begin to push them down, but am stopped by his hands wrapping around my wrists.
His eyes are so dark and hypnotic. The vibe he’s putting off has me shaking. There’s no will to resist as he pulls my hands up above my head, pinning them with one hand as his tongue moves across my parted lips.
Eyes locked on mine, his fingers shove my bathing suit to the side and he slams his cock in. My back arches, every nerve firing off as my eyes flutter and I clench around him.
Fuck, how does this feel so perfectly right when everything else is wrong?
The concrete stings my skin as it bites in with each thrust. His hips slow down to long, slow strokes, his arm moving under my back, cushioning me. I draw my legs up, wrapping them around his waist, trapping him. Little whimpers mingle with his low moans that turn me on even more.
One hand is fisted in his hair, the other digging into his back, and I bite his lower lip, earning a single hard, deep thrust.
“Fuck, Kitty, you feel so fucking good.”
With each rotation of his hips I lock on harder, pulling him closer, deeper. My breasts are mashed against his strong chest. The slower pace is agony. Every inch that enters until his hips meet mine drives me crazy because it’s not enough and too much at the same time. When he pulls out, my thighs clench to draw him back in.
“Fucking tease,” I whine.
His lips quirk up into that fucking smirk of his. “Just feel, baby.”
A strangled cry crawls out of my throat as he winds me tight with each slow thrust.
My walls clamp down, and he lets out a long, low moan that makes me shiver. His forehead falls onto me as he pushes deeper.
Closer and closer, on the verge of spiraling out of control. Just a little more.
“Shit!” he hisses and freezes.
When my eyes pop open, there’s light suddenly flooding into the backyard, shining through the windows and sliding glass door. I crane my head back in time to watch Steven’s silhouette through one of the windows.
“Oh, fuck!” I push on Brayden’s chest, forcing us up, and move the cups of my bikini back over my breasts.
My heart is hammering against my ribs as fear rips through me. Brayden is still inside me, not moving, his gaze locked on the wandering shadows in the house. I can see it in his eyes, kinda like Ryan. He’s formulating a plan.
His eyes focus back on me and his look of dread morphs into a soft smile, followed by a tender kiss.
Fuck.
Fuckity, fuck, fuck, fucking, fuck.
My dick is trapped in the hot, wet suction of Kira’s pussy, practically begging me not to leave. And the parents just arrived home while I’m fucking my stepsister on the pool deck.
That makes my cock even harder. The shock of being found out should drain the desire from me, but somehow, it amps it up.
I want to keep sliding my cock in her, racing to get us both off before we’re noticed.
Kira is frozen in place, staring at me, silently begging for direction. My brain is quickly formulating a plan, and step one is to pull my dick from the only place I want to be right now.
“Fuck,” I curse under my breath.
Step two is to find a way to get us not only out of suspicion, but also upstairs. I move the strip of her bathing suit back over her juicy pussy that’s calling to me and give it a little pat, then take in a breath as I slide back into the water.
My cock thankfully shrinks back some from the cool against the skin. It’s a puzzle piece to get it back in
and
keep it from being too obvious I’m sporting a boner.
Kira’s still not moving, and I push out of the water and kiss her lips. “Stay here, or find a way upstairs,” I whisper.
Nodding, she slowly pulls her legs out and sneaks over to get a towel.
Guess upstairs it is.
My heart is hammering in my chest with each step I take, water sliding down my body. I grab a towel from one of the loungers and do a pat dry of my legs, then swing it over my neck to drape in front of me.
Dad hasn’t seen my tattoos, and I don’t ever want him to if I can help it.
I pull open the sliding glass door and step in. The air conditioning makes me shiver while the voice I hate echoes off the walls. He steps into the kitchen and jumps when he sees me.
“Brayden, you scared me.”
“Sorry.”
“Night swim?”
I nod. “It’s nice and warm out tonight.”
He glances around, his gaze scanning me as I run the towel over my hair.
“Is your sister home?”
She’s not my sister.
I shake my head. “She went out with some friends.”
He nods, still eyeing me. There’s doubt in his gaze, and he’s right, but I’m not going to let him know that.
“You’re home early.”
He shakes his head. “Somehow got out of the house and all the way to the restaurant without my wallet.”
“That sucks.” I hate our small talk. It’s too forced. I also hate how his continued presence is keeping me from Kira.
“Steven, did you find it?” Sonia asks, coming around the corner from the direction of the half bath. “Oh, hi, Brayden.”
I wave at her as she grabs onto my father’s arm. “We should get going, we’re already really late.”
The lines around his eyes crinkle, and his lips form a thin and downturned line. “You think I don’t know that?” he asks through clenched teeth.
There’s venom in his tone and my first instinct is to put myself between him and her.
Sonia starts, but quickly recovers. “Have a good night, Brayden.” She gives me a soft smile, then turns to
him
. “Come along, Steven.”
I watch them walk into the garage, staying completely frozen as I listen both for the garage door to close and their car to speed off.
The adrenaline coursing through my body has me so jacked up that the only way I’m going to both calm down and alleviate the blue balls I’ve got going on is to go find my girl and finish what we started.
I take the stairs two at a time, rushing up to find her. When I get to the top, only the hall light is on.
“Kira?”
Nothing.
I check my room first, but it’s empty, then turn the handle to her door.
She’s there, sitting in the middle of her bed, wrapped in a towel, staring at me with wide eyes that are glowing from her phone.
“Are they gone?” she asks, whispering.
“Yeah.”
She leans over and turns on her bedside light. “That was close.”
I nod. “Exciting, too.”
“No, not exciting at all.”
“You’re telling me that the thrill of getting caught didn’t turn you on just a little?”
She squirms where she’s sitting. “No, it didn’t.”
Her cheeks are flush and as I dip down, I can almost feel how turned on she is. “I call bullshit.”
“
You’re
full of shit.”
I chuckle. “Don’t go denying it too strongly.” I lean over her, pushing her down onto the bed, my lips running across hers. “Now, where were we?” My big toe bumps into something, causing a stinging pain to zing up my foot. “Shit!”
I pull back and use my foot to feel out what I hit. My toes catch onto the edge of what feels like a frame. Rising up on my straightened arms, I curl my toes around the object and drag it out from beneath the bed.
“Brayden? What are you doing?” Kira stares up at me with those beautiful, confused hazel eyes.
I tilt my head and look down at the ground.
The world shifts in an eerily familiar way.
Silence comes next, the type of silence that comes from deep within. I can’t move as my eyes take in the picture at my feet.
A picture that’s shredded, only bits and pieces of it hanging onto the frame.
It’s the picture I bought her for her sixteenth birthday. The one I picked out after wandering around the mall like a lovesick fool, missing her so damn bad that I could barely breathe from it.
She sliced it up. Ruined it. And it wasn’t something done in a single moment of destructive rage.
This was deliberate. The slice patterns are too cohesive not to be premeditated.
I don’t know how long she’s been cutting that picture up for, but she’s done it many, many times.
Kira hasn’t budged, nor has she tried to see what it is that I’m staring down at.
I have a feeling she knows very well what it is.
We’re quiet for a few minutes. I can sense her staring at me while I continue to look at her handiwork.
“What?” Her tone is low but hard as stone, and there’s a hint of mockery in it. “Don’t tell me that upsets you.”
“It does,” I admit, looking up into her eyes. “But not because you did it.”
“Why, then?” She’s trying to keep her expression neutral.
“I did this, okay?” I motion at the floor. “You think I don’t know what this is?”
Kira sits up a little straighter, almost like she’s trying to get away from me.
I finally move, my hand snapping around her ankle to keep her in place.
She huffs, but doesn’t try to break my hold. “In your opinion, what is this?”
“That’s what I did to you.”
The comment lays heavy in the air between us. I don’t have to explain what it means. It’s so damn obvious that that picture might as well be a visual metaphor.
She cut that thing up just like I’d cut her up over the years. Systematically. One beautiful piece at a time.
I don’t know what she sees in my expression, but sympathy flashes in her eyes. “Brayden . . .”
I attack.
There’s no real thought behind the movement. Just this overwhelming ache in my balls, heart, my mind and my soul. This all-consuming need to imprint how much I love her into every part of her mind. I
need
to get this girl to a point where she feels how much I adore her so she’ll never doubt it again.
Covering Kira’s body with mine, I jerk her face in my direction and kiss her. I kiss her like the maddened, agonized animal I am.
At first, she tries to resist me, refusing to open up her mouth.
I’m not the only one that’s been brutally reminded of all the pain I caused her.
I don’t ease up, determination a heavy presence beating through my body. Softly, I suck on her lips, tease them with my tongue, all the while keeping her pinned on the bed by my much larger body. My hips start to rock in circles into her, a primal, instinctual movement that I have no control over.
Kira whimpers into my mouth, her lips falling open.
Groaning, I slide my tongue in, my eyes rolling back in my fucking head at the feel of her tongue. She lets me kiss her, but there’s a restraint in her. She’s holding back, refusing to give me everything she can.
Refusing to truly let me in.
I climb fully up on the bed and have to practically manhandle her legs open to make room for my hips. She doesn’t fight me as viciously as I know she can, but she isn’t making this easy for me either.
Fine. I’ll fight for this just like I’m willing to fight for everything else.
Four swifts moves, and I have her bathing suit on the floor.
I jack off the bed long enough to get my trunks off, then climb back on the bed.
She’s glaring at me, ready to strike, spit venom at me, and run away, but the moment I’m over her, there’s a flicker in her eyes, giving me an opening. I cup the back of her head, fisting her hair as my other hand wraps around her waist, gluing her body to mine.
There’s nowhere for her to go. No escape.
Nothing to do but take all that I have to give.
“Keep fighting me, because I’m not going to stop fighting for you.” Her eyes narrow, full of hate, but that other emotion is also there. The one I saw outside.
It’s the same emotion I’ve been seeing more and more of lately.
There’s too much going on inside me. Feeling like I’m about to explode, I lean down and bite into the side of her tit roughly, desperate for an outlet.
I need relief. From this onslaught, from the choking frustration of not owning the woman I love the way I want to.
Only one thing can help ease it for now.
Pinning her thighs open, I find her pussy with my cock. She’s so fucking wet I don’t even need to prep her. One thrust of my hips and her glare is gone, eyes fighting to stay open as she lets out a moan.
It’s fucking heaven inside her, and from the utter bliss on her face, I’d say it’s the same for her.
I pull out until just the tip is at her entrance, and watch as the lust starts to fade and the anger creeps back in. Then I ram inside her, all the way, making her squeeze around me.
“Fuck,” she whimpers.
Again.
Again.
Long. Hard. Deep.
Make her look at me as she feels everything.
I love this fucking girl so much that it obliterates my control over my body. Always. A few thrusts, and I’m fighting to keep my come in my balls. It needs to be inside her, where it belongs.
If I could give her my blood, I would. I’d give her my damn soul if she asked for it.
“This is everything,” I growl, biting her tit again.
She cries out, arching, her pussy squeezing tight.
“What is?”
“This. The connection.” Her pussy sucks me in, milking me with velvet, soft wetness that drives me wild. “What we feel when we’re together. What we can be to each other.”
She shakes her head, trying to deny it. “No. Not anymore.”
My forehead falls against hers. “You feel it, I know you do.”
Her legs wrap around me, heels digging into my ass and spurring me on. My body begins to shake as I hold back the come that’s ready to fill her. Grinding my teeth, I slow down even more, but keep the thrusts hard and deep, desperate to shove the truth into her. “You. You.
You.
It’s all about fucking you, Kira.”
Her hips rise up to meet mine, each time a little whimper escapes her lips. “This is about fucking.”
I slam my hips into hers, pinning her against the bed. She’s writhing beneath me, the sounds coming from her begging me not to stop. I look into her eyes, but she turns her head. The grip I have on her hair tightens as I move her to meet my gaze.