Take Me As I Am (17 page)

Chapter Eighteen

“Hi, Stella. How are you doing today?”

“Hey, Thea, I’m good. What about yourself? I see your arms are full, as usual. Can I get you some help?”

“No, I’m good.” Thea grinned while walking in step with the older sprightly woman who owned a seamstress business next to a bakery operated by her husband.

“You should get out more. I keep telling your mother just that and she says you will not listen. You young people are all the same…thinking you know best. We’ve already experienced it before so you should listen to us.”

Thea grinned at the comment. “Bradley was going to help me but he has baseball practice.”

“Oh, that boy is spoiled.” The older woman chuckled. “Of course I spoiled my son and now my grandchildren.

“Yeah, but I never knew I had a brother, so I’m making up for lost time. He’s a very caring young man and reminds me of someone I once knew.”

“Ah, so our Thea has a secret love affair buried away, has she?”

Thea laughed nervously at the comment. It was so close to the mark but no one would ever know that, especially now Joanna was a star. “Nope, a friend. A good friend at the time. He was very caring like Bradley. We berate men but some of them are wonderful. Don’t you think?”

Stella and her husband had been married for almost forty years and her mother was hosting a party at the hotel to mark the event.

When they entered the bakery, Thea breathed in the wonderful aroma of freshly baked bread. She loved to stand on the threshold and take in the distinctive aromas.

“Ah, two lovely ladies. What brings you in today?” asked a tall, strikingly handsome man with swarthy Mediterranean looks, twinkling brown eyes, and a sharp Grecian nose.

“Alex, you flatterer, you will be having me spying on all your customers in a calculating way if you carry on like that.”

The man moved from around the counter and hugged the woman. “Stella, you are my one true love. No one can ever take your place.”

Stella grinned in Thea’s direction.

Ever since arriving in this part of the Hudson Valley Thea wondered if it wasn’t magical. Everyone who was a couple seemed to thrive in this environment. She wondered if things would have been different between she and Joanna if they’d come here first.

“Thea, when you have this, don’t give it away ever. No matter how absurd or impossible it may seem, it is too precious to lose,” Stella said.

Thea shook her head, wondering if she would ever get the chance to feel like that. For a brief time she did have that. But it wasn’t mutual.

“Leave the girl alone, Stella. She has plenty of time. Although I do know one or two eligible bachelors—”

“No. No. Please, Alex, I’d rather try to find the right person on my own. Thanks all the same.”

The man released his wife with a wink and went back around the counter. “You should bring someone to our anniversary party, Thea. They would be most welcome.”

“Thanks, but I’ll be busy on Saturday.”

Alex smiled broadly and set about putting together her order.

Thea’s mind drifted to the conversation she’d had with Alice, saying that she’d spoken with Joanna. What a surprise that would be, if she invited the singer to the party and she turned up. Thea knew the older couple enjoyed Joanna’s music since she’d seen the CD in both the bakery and at Stella’s shop. It would probably make Joanna self-conscious to see the fan worship. Maybe it wouldn’t. She was probably used to it by now.

The very CD she was thinking of flooded the room and Joanna’s rich voice reverberated all around her. She smiled as she recalled the song. The one she had last heard at the television studio.

“Why do you look so sad, Thea?” Stella asked. “Don’t you like our choice in music?” Stella looked at her husband.

“Oh, yes, I do. Very much. She has a wonderful voice, doesn’t she?”

“Yeah, she does. A rags to riches story, I hear,” Alex said. Thea noticed his miserable expression. “She was always rich, just never realized it.”

Thea, wondering what he meant gave him a surprised gaze. “I don’t understand.”

“What he means is that with a voice like that and so much talent, how could one ever be poor,” Stella said.

“Of course, that makes sense.”

“I did read that her personal life is in tatters,” Stella said. “Seems she was engaged and broke it off just before she hit it big.”

In the background, Thea heard Joanna’s voice gather strength as she hit a high note at the end of the song. She had purposefully avoided all the magazines and websites with items about Joanna, not wanting to know how happy she was with Lee.

So she ditched him right after I left. Hmm, I wonder why.

She recalled her phone call with Alice who’d said that Joanna told her she never got the phone calls Thea had made to her. She knew she had the right number for it was a number she’d never forget. Maybe she knew who it was and didn’t want to answer.

No, Alice was certain she was sincere when she told her she didn’t receive the calls.
Should she try again? If she did and she didn’t answer then she’d know what Joanna really thought. She just couldn’t take that chance.

†

“I think you should reconsider, Jo. Your throat infection isn’t clear yet and you need to give it another week or two. We can rearrange the concerts in France and Germany, start the tour in Italy instead, and reschedule them,” Jack pleaded in earnest.

Jo had been ill for most of the month, reluctantly agreeing to a vacation before another grueling tour. This time it wouldn’t be as arduous—only four months. The immense amount of traveling and jet lag would take its toll eventually, just as it had at the end of her last tour. Jo didn’t seem to care one-way or another and that troubled him. If it hadn’t been for the housekeeper informing him that Jo was ill, he wouldn’t have known to send in one of the top doctors to help.

“No. I’ll be fine. Trust me, I know my body, and it hates sitting around. Once I’m back on the road, everything will go like clockwork.”

“I don’t agree. This tour is too soon after the last one. It’s your call of course. From a business point of view, it will help the new record release. Promise me if at any time you decide you’ve had enough, you’ll let me know, and we will work it out. Okay?”

“How about I do the world tour and then take a three month vacation for real?”

Jack knew she needed more than a break. She needed to find the spark that was lacking in her life. He knew what that was. Thea Danvers. Jo needed to make her peace and have Thea back in her life no matter what the cost. He wouldn’t tell her that, however, for she was too fragile right now, even if she wouldn’t admit it.

“How about you go home and see what you feel like in the morning. Tomorrow is another day.”

“I have the flight to New York tomorrow and that stands.” Jo, walking to Jack, grinned before bending to kiss his cheek. “How come you’re still free and single?”

“Away with you and that virus, I don’t want it. Remember I’m older than you are and we aged types can’t take the strain anymore. Anyway, who says I’m free and single?”

“We’ll talk about that when I’m back.”

“Yes, we will, when you want to talk about the true love of your life,” he said with a wink.

They both laughed as she vacated the office. Jack continued to smile. Maybe it was time for her to know he loved a certain man just as she loved Thea—a fact he was pretty darned sure of.

†

“Thea, do you have a few minutes to spare?” Grayson asked, smiling.

“Yes, of course. What can I do for you?” Thea liked her mother’s choice in a husband. When she was ten, she hadn’t understood and throughout her teenage years, she’d hated him for taking her mother away from her. Now, she empathized or at least partially. She might never understand properly, since they refused to discuss the situation fully. There was something holding her mother back. Grayson was a decent man who loved his wife and family. He’d included her in the family immediately upon her arrival. It made her wonder at how he must have loved her mother to become embroiled in a situation which pitted him against the hatred of others.

“I know it’s short notice, but I need someone I can trust to go out to Hartford.”

“Why not send a courier?”

“I could but I wanted it to be personal. I can’t go because Karen, knowing how I hate parties, will think I’m going to disappear and never return for the anniversary bash.”

“Even so, why not a courier?”

“It’s a special guest for Alex and Stella. They don’t think she is going to come but if you can persuade her, I know she’ll come.”

“Grayson, why me?”

“Let me explain. This person is part of their family— estranged but still family—I’m afraid she won’t bother. I need someone…no, the party needs someone of your caliber to get her onboard. Will you please do it, Thea?”

My caliber. What exactly would that be?
Thea saw the pleading in his eyes and knew the only answer she could give. “Okay I’ll do it. What’s the address and who is it?”

“Ah, now you will be surprised, it’s—”

†

The flight had been terrible. Jo was suffering from every attack of sinus problem imaginable. That, coupled with the fact that she had to evade a rather
delightful
pack of fans that had seen her board the plane, was almost more than she could handle. What she needed now was a protector.

As the word entered her brain, it triggered off the memory of her friend. Hadn’t Thea once said that she would be her protector and then laughed at the outlandish suggestion? She sure could do with the help now.
Where are you, Thea? I need you.
She knew deep in her soul that she would always need Thea.

It was stupid to keep thinking that she’d come back. She wasn’t ever going to.

That’s the bottom line, Lackerly, so get used to it,
she told herself.

Her grip on reality was leaving her to fantasies and it wasn’t going to help her now or in the future. At the beginning of every concert, she silently dedicated it to Thea, just as she had on her latest album.
I have to move on, just like when I ditched Lee. It has to be the same with Thea. There’s only going to be this one shot at fame and fortune and I need to prove all the old doubters that I can give it longevity.
All those people who said she would end up wasting her life, becoming nothing more than a drifter without a goal.
Well, I have a goal now.
It was just proving a little harder to remember what that was when she woke in the morning.

“Jo. Jo,” voices shouted. Glancing around, she saw several fans rushing toward her and sucked in a breath. She wasn’t up to the adoration today.

How did they recognize me or know I’d be here? I’m not
that
well known, am I?

Then she looked around at the newsstand and saw at least two magazines with her picture on the front. Perhaps
she
should have paid more attention to Jack when he extolled
her
new status in the music world.

Fifteen minutes and two security guards later, she was rushed into a VIP lounge and out of the airport without interference. This wouldn’t have happened if she had taken Jack’s advice and agreed to engage another manager who could take care of these situations for her. However, she had been her usual independent self and said she could do it all on her own. And, anyway, she still had a manager. Her words ended the discussion. She made sure that Jack knew that any mention of Thea was taboo. He didn’t cross that line, ever.

Although she felt like shit, she had to be here. She’d made a promise that she refused to break. No one, not even Jack, knew why she refused to stay home and rest. Her flight to Europe was in two days but this was a family matter and no one else’s business.

Security had hailed her a cab and she stepped into it. Exhausted, all she wanted was a soft bed to sleep in. With a hoarse voice, she gave the cabbie the address. She hoped it wasn’t too far away and that a warm welcome was heading her way.

Chapter Nineteen

Thea muttered a few choice words as she negotiated another bend on her way to convince someone to attend Alex and Stella’s anniversary party. How could she have refused? After all, they were wonderful people and if she could help them out in any way, she would. But it was only hours before the event. She was pushing for a miracle.

She glanced at the GPS screen and saw that she was on Apple Blossom Drive. “Now, to find number ten.” Two minutes later she heard the GPS say ‘you have arrived’ and pulled up the short drive to the neat house.

Thea sucked in a nervous breath before knocking on the door. She hoped that the woman wasn’t ferocious toward strangers. If truly estranged from her family, Thea couldn’t understand the reason. Alex and Stella were always kind and friendly to everyone.

The door opened. A tall woman with gray, flowing hair that met her shoulders, and piercing blue eyes, looked at her. “Yes,” she barked.

Thea drew back a fraction from the doorway as she once more surveyed the imposing woman. Something about her was drawing Thea to the woman. She was familiar.

“My name is Thea Danvers. I’m from New York—”

“New York? I hate that city. Far too claustrophobic. Why do I need to know anything about that place?” the older woman interrupted.

“No. No, I’m in the Hudson Valley and it isn’t about New York City. It’s about someone you know.” Thea knew she was faltering. The woman was so forthright, with a hint of steel about her manner, that was intimidating.

“I don’t know you or anyone from wherever you come from. You have the wrong address.” The woman shut the door.

“Wait! I’m sorry. Are you, Mrs. Stephens?”

“Yes.” There was arrogance about the woman that Thea recognized and she reckoned it had to do with her connection to Stella.

“Then I don’t have the wrong address. I need to speak to you about your daughter.”

Blue eyes surveyed Thea’s and she thought she saw a twinkle in the depths. “Go on.”

“Well, actually, I’m here to invite you to your daughter’s diamond wedding anniversary.”

“Really? You’re too late. She invited me two months ago and I replied with a
no
.”

Thea’s compassionate nature kicked in and she knew her face-mirrored her disappointment. “Why?”

“Why? You’re a stranger, why should I tell you?”

“You don’t have to, of course, but Stella is so wonderful. How could you not want to go to her anniversary party?”

“I didn’t approve the match forty years ago and I don’t approve it, now. Is that reason enough for you?”

Green eyes flashed at the blue ones and suddenly it clicked where she had seen them before. Joanna.

“You remind me of a friend. She was stubborn, too.”

“Then, my dear, you should be used to it. Why not go back to wherever you came from and enjoy your party.”

“Doesn’t forty years together count for something? That it was a good match and they love one another?”

A sharp laugh that bordered on cynical—another reminder of the singer—mocked her words. “It could also mean they didn’t have any other choice and made the best of a bad choice.”

“They didn’t because they love one another very much.”

“That’s as you want to see it, but I know better.” The woman shut the door again. “I have things to do.”

“I’m sorry I bothered you, goodbye.”

“Goodbye.” The door shut before Thea could say anything else.

Why? Why had her stepfather assumed she could make the old hag see sense? It wasn’t one of her talents obviously, never would be. She was too much a coward for the confrontational things in life.

With her head down, walking toward her car, she turned back, wondering if she should try again. In an upper window, she saw the shadows of two figures. They were probably talking about the foolish stranger who didn’t know anything about them or the situation with the family. Thea climbed into her vehicle, wondering if she would ever have the courage to stand her ground instead of taking everything on the chin. Would she ever fight back for something she wanted?

A stray thought gathered momentum.
There’s still time to fight for Joanna
.

†

“Who was that?” Jo asked.

“Oh, some annoying woman. She was trying to convince me to go to that anniversary party tonight for my daughter and that man.” The older woman threw an envelope on a nearby table.

“Gran, why not go and bury the hatchet?”

“You ask me that? I thought you would have understood. I don’t like your father, never have, and never will. He is a foreigner and not good enough for my only daughter. She could have done better.”

A snort of laughter filled the room as the two women faced one another. Their similarities were only disguised by the aging process.

“Yep, my upstanding Gran, the racist. Do they know this at that church you attend?”

Skin, weathered with age, stretched across high cheekbones in a scowl. “You are not to mention this to anyone. Do you hear me? Why would you care? When was the last time you saw your parents?”

It was a good question and Jo tried desperately to find the answer. “Eight years ago but I stay in touch.”

“In touch? You call a possible postcard from a town not even mentioned on any map, contact? You ask me about family loyalties? Take a break, and look at your own. For your information, my girl, it’s been almost ten years since you last saw your family. Not that I can blame you, with a father like yours.”

The laughter turned to a sneer as Jo walked across to her grandparent—the only one she had that she could recall. Gran didn’t like her father—hated him was more accurate. That however didn’t mean she did. Her father had been a wonderful role model.

“Guess it’s time I made up for that and visited them. Better yet, it can be a surprise at the party. I’ll take your invite.” She picked up the envelope that the woman at the door left behind.

It had to take some courage for anyone to take on her grandmother and not go away unscathed. She had to make a point of meeting with the woman who was just there and apologize for her grandmother’s rudeness. The invitation indicated that the party was in three hours. Now to get ready and call a cab, since she was going to be pushing it to be there on time. Better late than never might be the rule of the day.

“Who says you can have my invite?” her gran demanded.

“Are you going to need it?” Jo stood her ground and smiled as they traded sharp blue glances. Years ago, she would have dropped her gaze, but now she could and did stand up for herself. A nasty coughing bout raked Jo’s body so she sat down heavily in the chair nearest to her. Bravado was her only asset because she didn’t feel that well.

“You shouldn’t be going. You’re not fit enough.” Her gran walked to her, placing a cool, leathery hand on her forehead. “You’re burning up. You shouldn’t go.”

“I’ll be fine. A hot bath and a shot of brandy to warm up the body will revive me. I’ll come back early.”

“We will see.”

At those few words, Jo looked up and captured the worry that transmitted from the world-weary eyes. She winked at her. “Don’t worry, Gran, I’m made of stern stuff. Remember who I take after.”

“Humph, just as well you do. Now, go take that bath and I’ll call you a cab for an hour from now.”

Jo grinned and slowly stood, hugging the frail woman. Pity she still had such a ferocious tongue on her because she really was quite a caring woman. “Thanks, Gran.”

As Jo mounted the stairs to her room, she heard her grandmother call her once more. “Don’t use up all my best bath salts, Jo.”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” Smiling, Jo walked into her room to find something suitable to wear.

†

The party was in full swing and the guests of honor were amazed at the turnout. To them it looked like the whole village had decided to pay homage to their celebration.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t do anything to help change Stella’s mother’s mind. She was one stubborn woman,” Thea said.

Grayson grinned and hugged her close. “No problem. To tell you the truth, it was a long shot but worth a try. Who knows? Maybe the old crone might change her mind. There’s time yet. Even if she doesn’t, I think everyone is enjoying all the fuss. Don’t you?”

They both looked at the laughing couple talking to their son and his wife. Their only grandchild was happily dancing nearby.

“Yeah, they are and there’s no legislating for family, is there.”

“Would you do me the honor of having this dance with me?” Her stepfather held out his hand and Thea took it with a smile as they joined the mass of people swaying to the music.

Karen was standing at the door, watching her husband and daughter dancing happily as Bradley munched on all the delectable food. Typical teenager, the boy was astounding her with his growth rate. At six foot, he towered above them all and was still growing like a weed. Someone in the family line must have been lanky, for neither Grayson nor she was very tall.

Her attention turned to the hotel entrance when it opened. A statuesque figure, almost as tall as Bradley, with midnight black hair cut to shoulder length, shone in the glare of the artificial lights of the foyer. The woman shook away the rain that had settled on her leather coat.

Karen walked toward the woman, who was looking around the room with a curious expression. She watched, as the stranger’s eyes gazed at the fresh cut flowers that Thea insisted were a part of the hotel these days. An expensive addition but one that, strangely enough, she felt the guests appreciated in the often-unwelcoming harshness of day-to-day life.

“Can I help you? We’re booked if you need a room,” Karen said.

“I don’t need a room but you can help me. Is this where the Xianthos wedding anniversary celebration is?”

Karen had seen this woman before, she was sure of it, Where? She probably was a cousin since she had the familiar Grecian complexion. “Yes, you’re a little late. It’s well underway, but you haven’t missed the cutting of the cake. In fact, you’re just in time. May I see your invitation?”

†

Jo felt as if she had come home here in the hotel. It had the hallmark of Thea stamped all over it—the use of the flowers, and the general friendly, cozy ambience of the place. But she couldn’t be that lucky, could she? To see Thea here, of all places. It was probably a combination of wishful thinking and the medication her Gran had insisted she take before she left. She reached inside her jacket and drew out the invitation.

Silently watching the woman, Jo felt drawn to her. Her green eyes were identical to Thea’s eyes. It was remarkable how, almost a year later, she could still see them so vividly, even in a stranger’s eyes.

Karen’s eyebrows rose, as she looked at the invitation. “I’m sorry but this invitation is made out…”

Jo smiled and lifted her hand to prevent the question.

“To my grandmother. My parents don’t know I’m in town. I guess I wanted to surprise them. What better day, huh?”

Karen opened her eyes in astonishment. “I’m sorry for staring but it’s rather a shock, I’ve heard so much about the long lost daughter. Is it true? Are you really Jo Xianthos?”

Jo nodded.

“Wow! Wait until they see you. It will make their day.”

Jo smiled graciously as she inclined her head. The woman appeared genuine enough and her eyes were friendly. There was nothing false there…or was it the reaction to seeing the woman’s eyes that were so like Thea’s.

“Yeah, I guess it will be a shock for them, too.” A wracking cough stopped Jo for several seconds.

“Oh, my dear, are you all right? I’ll go fetch my daughter, she will find something dry for you to wear. Are you soaked from the rain?” Karen said with concern.

“No. No problem. I came by cab. The rain caught the jacket that’s all. Can’t seem to shake a cold I’ve had recently. It’s nothing to worry about, but thanks for the offer. If you don’t mind, I’d just rather see my parents.”

“Of course. How stupid of me to delay you. Come with me.” Karen walked to the door of the conference room that was now more like a concert room with the music and laughter emanating from it.

†

Jo sucked in a breath that hurt her chest. The damn virus wouldn’t shift, no matter what she took or how much rest she’d had. She was here now and an hour with her parents today, of all days, was better than no hour at all.

She walked into the room behind the older woman, knowing that no one would notice her at first because the lights were dim and people were dancing. Then she scanned the place for her family and saw them at the longest table in the room. Her heart fluttered at the sight of her parents and her kid brother. Had it really been ten years?

“They’re sitting there, Jo, why not go and join them?” The voice sounded so much like Thea that she glanced sharply at the woman by her side.

“Thanks, Mrs…?”

“Adams, Karen. I own the hotel and your parents are good friends of mine.”

“Thanks, Karen.”