Take It - Part Two (12 page)

Pierce was right, everything was repairable for the most part, and he spent the afternoon helping me set it right. He was also right that the more I practiced the better I would get. I now manage a couple things around the house without burning or breaking anything. I feel half human again. It’s what Pierce was trying to tell me, and I’m hearing it clearly.

The quiet knock on the front door makes the hair on my arms stand up. It’s the first time since I moved here that anyone has ever stopped by, and I can’t imagine who it might be. There’s a tiny voice in my head that thinks it might be Harrison. Could he have tracked me down again? What does he want from me? What do I still want from him?

I shuffle my feet toward the door and peek, trying to see through the curtains without giving away that I’m here.

“Jenny?” I hear a familiar voice call tentatively, and I see Tracey standing on her tiptoes trying to look through the high window in the door.

“Trace, what are you doing here?” I open the door and then my arms for a hug. I haven’t talked to her since that night in the bar when I thought she was angry with me. The more time I spend with Pierce the harder it is to justify spending time with her, considering the impression she had made.

“I went by your mom’s house to check in, and she told me you moved out. What are you doing moving in with this guy? You don’t even know him.” She’s looking all around as if I’m being held here against my will.

“Come in.” I yank her by her wrist and roll my eyes at her. “Pierce is a great guy, and I needed to get out of my mom’s house. It’s not like I moved in with him as a live-in girlfriend or anything. I have my own room.”

“Oh,” Tracey replies as she looks around the living room. “So wait, you’re like roommates?”

“Well, not exactly. We’re dating but trying to not let the living arrangements make things too weird. And they haven’t been.” I toss the dishrag over my shoulder and Tracey’s face crinkles skeptically.

“You know what’s weird? The idea of you cleaning this house is one of the strangest things I’ve seen in a while. Please tell me this guy is as good in bed as the last one you were telling me about.”

“He might be,” I shrug, my eyes darting away. “I wouldn’t know.”

“You haven’t slept together yet? You’re living here and cleaning and crap and you’re not even getting laid? What the hell do you guys do?”

“You know . . . we watch television and cook together. We go to the farmers market on the weekend. We’re taking time to get to know each other.”

“That is the worst thing I’ve ever heard in my life. You hate those things; you hate people who like those things. If you’re here under some kind of duress just blink three times, and I’ll get you the hell out of here.”

“I know historically I haven’t been keen on settling down and living a normal kind of life, but I’m trying to evolve. I’m working a part-time job. That’s my car in the driveway. I like what Pierce and I are doing here. I think it’s where I’m meant to be.”

“That’s not evolving, that’s regression. If this were a movie I’d slap you across the face right now to snap you out of this. Do you know where you’re supposed to be? In a big corner office changing the world through medical breakthroughs, saving people from the dangers of bad drugs, and having some earth-shattering orgasms along the way. You want to do that with a nice guy who gives you the warm-fuzzies? Fine. But don’t choose between the two. Don’t settle for being someone’s maid and cuddle-buddy. I’m glad to hear you’re getting back to work, but are you sure you want to call this place home?”

“It works out well since the pet shop is only about five miles from here.” I brace myself for Tracey’s response. She knows me and if anyone can see the cracks in my attempt at a confident exterior it would be her. No amount of convincing myself will work to convince her.

“Pet shop? That’s your new job? You’re cleaning hamster cages and selling goldfish to little brats? Are you sure you didn’t hit your head in that car accident? I think you have brain damage. You’re better than this. Way better than this.”

“Maybe I was, but I screwed up. That guy who was so great in bed . . . he did something unforgivable, and I walked right into it. It shook me up, and I’m finally starting to feel like I have my footing back. Pierce is helping with that.”

“What did the guy do?” Tracey asks, softening now that she can see this isn’t just me being an idiot.

“He got me fired.”

“How? Why?”

“How: by having very revealing pictures of us doing some very intimate things sent to my boss. Since it was completely unethical for me to be sleeping with him, considering his position with the drug we were testing, I was fired on the spot. And more than that, my credibility was destroyed. I’ll never be hired in my field again. He ruined me. As far as why, I have no idea. The drug he was pushing was a dud. Maybe he planned to blackmail me or something? All I know is that I can never show my face in those circles again. It’s mortifying.”

“No. It’s illegal. You need to go to the police. He completely violated you, and you can’t put your head down and start working at a pet shop and hanging out with some holier-than-thou dude who won’t put out. Let’s go get the bastard.” Tracey stomps her fist into her palm assertively.

“I can’t. I can’t have anything to do with him.” I roll my head toward the ceiling and sag my shoulders.

“Why not?”

“I fell in love with him. Before the photos I thought I’d met the man of my dreams. He understood me and saw me in a way no one else ever has. I don’t think I’ll ever really feel that way again. He was perfect.”

“Until he sold you out, ruined your life, and violated you.”

“Yes, right until that point. Last week he came to my mother’s house and acted like he was so worried about me. Just seeing him there was almost too much for me. I wanted him again. I need him in a way that scares the hell out of me. If Pierce hadn’t been there I think I’d have left with him. I can’t be trusted trying to get even with him, because I’ll end up in his bed.”

“Damn, how good is this guy in the sack?”

“There are no words. But it’s more than that, he convinced me I deserved more out of life than I was getting. He had me acting the way I always wanted to. And then it all blew up. All of this seems easier.” I gesture around the room at the very normal and simple life I’m living right now.

“It’s not one or the other. You don’t have to settle for this. I don’t know this Pierce guy that well, but it doesn’t seem like he sees all the amazing things about you. You’re one of the most impressive women I’ve ever known. You’ve taken your lumps in the business world, but you don’t have to make yourself small at home. I hope that’s not what you’re doing. I’ve always looked up to you.”

“That means a lot to me. I’m too tired to be impressive right now. I need a break from fighting the world and proving how tough I am every step of the way. I need to lower my expectations for a while.”

“I don’t get it, but I don’t have to. I’ve done plenty of things in the past you didn’t agree with, and you still showed up for me. Tell me what I can do to help.” Tracey throws her arms up in defeat.

“Help me make this roast,” I plead, gesturing to the kitchen. “My mom and her boyfriend are coming over for dinner tonight, and I want to make something edible. Her boyfriend also happens to be my new boss.”

“I don’t know a damn thing about cooking, you know that. So the only help you’ll get from me is my willingness to overlook that you are a celibate pet store clerk who’s cooking and cleaning for your cuddle-buddy while letting a guy who screwed you over get away with it. Not reminding you how ridiculous that is will be my gift to you.”

“Deal.” I smile and roll my eyes. “And maybe get me a vibrator. Mine somehow didn’t make the cut to my mom’s house instead of storage, and I don’t have the guts to give her specific instructions to get it out of the locked jewelry box it was in.”

“Holy shit, woman, you must be like one bottled-up bomb of horny right now.”

“I am, but I’m channeling it into bettering my domestic skills. I scrubbed the grout in the shower yesterday with this homemade cleaner recipe I found online and that took the edge off.”

“Heaven help you, girl. If this fireman has a limp noodle or some kind of micro dick, I’m breaking you out of here and taking you to Vegas. I’m giving this guy one more week to bend you over that kitchen counter you’ve been cleaning. Mark my words if you’re still sexually frustrated this time next week, we’re gone.”

“You’re a good friend, Tracey.”

“I take your sexual satisfaction very seriously.” She leans in, kisses my cheek, and gives me that long look that says:
I’m still pretty damn worried about you
. But ultimately she sees she won’t change my mind.

“I’ll be fine.”

“That’s what I’m afraid of. I don’t want you to be fine. I want you to be fulfilled, dominating, and taking chances. Fine is for losers.”

Tracey’s words were tucked away, focusing instead on managing the enormous roast. Surprisingly the recipe seemed fairly easy to follow, and the smell filling the house is savory and intoxicating. I set the table and put the finishing touches on the rest of the meal; I feel accomplished.

Pierce steps through the front door, and I’m hanging on the edge of my seat wondering what his reaction to my successful effort will be.

“Jenny, it smells amazing in here, and the table looks beautiful. I knew you could do it.” He hugs and kisses me. It’s not our usual kiss, there is more passion in it, an energy that hadn’t been there this morning when we kissed goodbye. My mounting sexual desires start to spill over, and he is clearly matching my cravings.

Grinding my body against his, I moan as his hands move down my back and grab my ass. His movements are deliberate and powerful, which is exactly what I’ve been waiting for. Running my hand through his hair, I tug some and feel his kiss turn more frantic. I suck his lower lip between my teeth and gently nibble. I’m not sure what changed, but I’m welcoming it with open arms or more like open legs.

The alarm on the stove starts to chirp, and I groan at the horrible timing and try to ignore that my roast is ready to be taken out of the oven. “You should get that,” Pierce whispers into my lips, though we don’t break our bodies apart.

“I don’t want to stop. I’m so ready for this, Pierce. I need this so badly.” I pull in a deep breath and push my breasts against his firm chest, brushing my hard and excited nipples against him.

“It’s impossible to keep saying no to you.” He grabs my ass in a fiercer grip, and I can feel his hard cock grinding against me. That rules out Tracey’s fear of an equipment issue. Everything seems to be the right size and working appropriately.

“So don’t say no. Say yes. I feel great. I’m doing really well and moving on. I think now’s the right time. My mom won’t be here for another hour. Please Pierce.” I want to use the words
fuck me.
I want to talk to him as I did to Harrison. I want to be able to tell him where to touch me, how to touch me, and I want him to do it now. I want to demand it, but I don’t think any of that would help. It would do the exact opposite with Pierce. Instead I look at him with wide and needy doe eyes and plead with him to finally give me what I’ve been waiting for. If part of his plan is to make me as horny as I’ve ever been by pressing his cock up against me until I beg, then he’s gotten what he wants.

“When we do, Jenny, I’m going to want more than an hour. Plus I’ve got some big news for you tonight. You’re going to be so excited.”

“I’m already pretty excited,” I purr, pressing even harder against him, hoping he’ll play along.

“Trust me. This is going to be big. It’s exactly what we need. Our time is coming. When we finally do this it’s going to be incredible, and it’s going to be because we’re both exactly where we want to be.”

He really doesn’t get it. Where I want to be right now is riding him like a bucking bronco until I’m blind from a throbbing orgasm. There is no news he can give me that’s going to quench my thirst right now.

“Don’t look so sad. I promise you, our time’s coming. I love the time we’ve had over the last couple weeks. I feel like I really know you, and I’m watching you get strong again. But don’t think for a second it’s easy to keep my hands off you. Just think about this, when I finally do have you, the anticipation will make everything all the more exciting.”

“You’re right,” I concede as his body pulls away from mine. “We’re certainly building up for the moment.”

“You go get your dinner out of the oven, and I’m going to shower and change. I promise tonight you’ll be over the moon when you hear what I have to tell you.”

He disappears into his bedroom, and I move toward the kitchen to turn off that miserable cock-block of a timer. The pot roast looks beautiful as I pull it out of the oven, but it’s not anything compared to what I wanted to be pulling out of Pierce’s pants. What would happen if I followed him into the shower, shed all my clothes, and stepped in with him? If I dropped to my knees and took his cock into my mouth would he still tell me no? Could he really turn down the sensation of my tongue swirling over the tip of his hard shaft? I want to know, but could I deal with it if he actually did kick me out of the shower?

The only place I can take out my frustration is in the kitchen. I grab the potato masher and pummel it against the bottom of the pan, starting to feel a little better. Pouring in the correct amount of milk and butter, I jump when I hear a knock at the door. My mother and Alex aren’t due for another forty-five minutes, but her voice calling happily through the front door tells me I should have known better.

“Sorry, I couldn’t help it,” she apologizes and flings her arms wide open for a hug, nearly knocking something off the wall with the wine bottle in her hand. “I had to see it with my own eyes. My baby is cooking and hosting. I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Me either. But don’t get too excited yet. You haven’t tasted the food. It may be a bust.”

“It’s just nice to see you trying.” Turning toward Alex, my mother mock whispers over her shoulder, “If you knew how many years I tried to chase this girl down and teach her to cook. Wasn’t I right though? I preached forever that you’ll never land a good man if you don’t start acting like a good woman. Now look at you, you’re finally on the right track.”

I’m still holding the potato masher in my hand and considering whether or not to turn it into a mom masher. She’s saying what I don’t need to hear right now. I’ve been convincing myself since the day I arrived at Pierce’s place that everything I was doing had nothing to do with pleasing anyone else. Not my mother. Not Pierce. Becoming more domestic and less career-driven is a conscious choice I’m making because it is where I need to be in my life right now. But the way my mother is spinning things it sounds more like I’ve finally woken up and decided to do things her way.

“Let me give you a hand in the kitchen, dear,” my mother sings as she skips away, leaving me standing with Alex.

“I always admired a woman who could do a lot of different things. It’s good you’re learning, but if that’s all that wins you a man, he might not be worth winning.” He gives me a quick wink and pats me on the shoulder as he heads toward the kitchen. I knew I liked this guy for a reason. Taking a deep centering breath, I tighten my grip on the potato masher and get back to being
a good woman.

Apparently I nailed it because later the table is silent while everyone shovels the dinner I made into their mouths.

“This is delicious, Jenny,” Alex says around a bite of mashed potatoes, offering his plate up for another serving. “Between this and how well you’re doing at the store, you’re proving you can do anything you set your mind to.”

Except Pierce . . . I’ve put my mind to doing him but have been unsuccessful so far.

“Jenny, I have to say,” my mother chokes back emotion as she blots her eyes with her napkin, “when I got that phone call that you’d been in an accident I was so afraid I’d lost you. I thought I’d never see you again.”

“Mom, I’m fine. I’m right here.” My cheeks are red with embarrassment at her gushing but I’m the only one at the table put off by it.

“I know you are, and as a matter of fact, you’re more
here
than I ever remember. You and I went so long without connecting to each other, and now it’s like we’re kindred spirits. You’re in a healthy relationship, you’ve stopped that nonsense about only needing a career to be happy, and you’re cooking. I’ve never been so proud.”

Alex leans over and throws his arm around her as my mother does some strange combination of laughing and crying. I look at Pierce, who’s smiling so wide it would be impossible to deny that he agrees with my mother.

“I’m glad she’s deciding she needs more in her life than a career as well,” he interjects, drawing everyone’s eyes to him. “I think there is still something in her however, that loves to help people. She has a talent she should be sharing with the world, and I’ve got some good news in that department.”

“What are you talking about?” I’m still reeling from my mother’s unsettling declaration that she and I are now alike. I’m not ready for a surprise.

“Well, you know my sister works at the hospital. Her best friend is dating the head of the research department. They’re looking for some entry-level employees to help facilitate an upcoming clinical trial. You’d be back in the game.”

“Why would you do that?” Everyone in the room reads my question as stunned excitement. But it’s terror. Sheer terror.

His smile grows larger, and I can see he’s missed the crux of my question. “I thought I’d shown you by now that I’d do anything to help you out. You said you’d struggle to get back into your field because of the way things ended at your last company. This might be a little lower on the totem pole, but as a favor to my sister, they’re going to bring you right on. All we need to do is show up this weekend at a hospital fundraiser gala. They’ll get a chance to meet you, and it’ll be a done deal. You’ll be back to work.”

“I-I already have a job,” I stutter, looking over at Alex and praying he’ll make a case for how important it is for me to continue working for him.

“Oh nonsense,” he chimes in, waving off the idea. “I knew this would be temporary. Obviously a talented woman like you would get snatched up by someone in no time. It’s no problem at all. You should focus on this opportunity and the gala. Don’t worry about coming in tomorrow.”

“This is wonderful,” my mother shouts, clapping her hands together. “A nice entry-level job in a field you love will keep you from devoting all your time to it. I can’t think of anything more perfect. What a sweet thing to do, Pierce.” She jumps from her seat, rounds the table, and plants a kiss on his cheek.

And just like that it happens. I’m back to feeling the polar opposite of my mother. There is no longer anything kindred about us.

Now is my chance to throw up my arms and demand to be heard. I don’t want to go to this gala. I don’t want to work in the medical community again. I want as much space as possible between who I was and who I am right now because that’s the only way I know how to keep thoughts of Harrison at bay. Yes, it’s time to insist I don’t need my life planned for me.
No one around this table even knows me
.

I literally lose my breath under the weight of that thought. These people are strangers. They know only the person I’m trying to be, and I don’t think any of them will like the person I’m trying not to be anymore.

As their eyes look expectantly at me, I smile until my cheeks hurt because I need anything that will dull the aching pain in my chest. As my mother rattles on about the perfect dress she has for me, I blink back the tears and hold my breath, just waiting for it all to pass.