Tainted (15 page)

An eyebrow raising comment was not what I was going for initially, but when I looked up at his face, I realized I’d done it again.  Meant the wrong thing!  Oh well, boldness appeared and was building strength.  “I mean the powers. 
I mean the powers
.”   I couldn’t stop the blushing, but I didn’t look away this time.

He touched my cheek where I knew it to blaze at the second. “The powers will be, I think, like having great strength and having it doubled.   I can’t read your thoughts without great concentration, nor block or persuade you like before.  For now, I can affect the thoughts of others to help us. Eventually, you’ll be able to block, persuade, reveal, and talk at the same time.  And you and I will double that!  I can sense when someone breaks into my thoughts and will be able to see when they break into yours.  Do you remember Pike at the waterfall when you first met him?”

Oh yeah!

  “Making sense?”

“Yes, but I didn’t think about it all at one time.”  I ignored the Pike comment well enough. I didn’t want to think about him right now nor the fact that that wasn’t the real first time I’d met Pike.  “I just want to master all now and be better prepared for anything.”  Kin.  Pike.  The Firebearer event.   Meeting the Unseelie king.

He didn’t hesitate.  “After…” 

It was the first time I’d seen him lose the ability to say it. Feeling touched by it, I hovered above his chest before smoothing his jacket that absentmindedly ran down his stomach.  He stiffened unlike any of the times when myself or other people were making him mad or upset.  His exhale moved the rigid muscles on his stomach and caused me to look up. 

“What’s wrong?” I feared I crossed a line.  I just wanted to touch him.

“Grace,” he rasped.  He was fine a moment ago.

“What did I do?”  My hand slid to the side of his ribs where the same rigid muscles were tight. When his eyes opened, they had that look I’d misjudged a time or two before.

“Oh!”  I jumped back, not touching him.

“No, don’t move away from me.  Just know that my self-control is getting harder and harder.  I’ve waited a long time.”  He moved closer to me stopping just so he could see my eyes before he kissed me with a fast, wanting urgency in his lips.  I felt my own heat rising in places unknown and unexplored.  He pulled back and stood straighter but his voice was low, deeper.  “I think we better move to where others can see us…
now
… breakfast.” 

  I told myself to step up and show him what he’s missing, that this man was everything I wanted in the world and thankful he felt the same.  I pulled his shirt back to me with a fist letting my hand land against the warm skin under the hem of the front of his shirt.  “Please!” 

He let out a small rapid gasp and complied letting our lips and tongues and arms all tangle with the promise of a marriage night.

I woke up feeling more indifferent than ever about this no proposing yet and no marriage thing.  Just a month ago I was eager to put it off because I reminded myself of my age and well, people just don’t get married at eighteen unless their pregnant.  Well, I can’t possibly be pregnant since there are certain activities involved that I’ve never partaken in.  And well, he hasn’t asked me yet.  I’m kind of hoping that all this bad vibe mess coming from Kin and his testy baddies will blow over soon so Ian and I can get on with the “in love” thing.  Nothing too bad has happened since coming in the court.

I rolled over in my covers looking for the light of day from my one window and peeked one eyelid open only to see Danella standing over me.  A sinister thought caused me to peek out of the other eye just to make sure I measured where Danella stood.  With a pull to the edge of the sheet into my palms and squeezing, my toes dug into the bed and I shot into the air screaming aloud and landing in a fighting stance facing a terrified Danella. 
Ha!

All at once, my new’ more solid, soundproof door that I’d requested, swung open hitting the annoying ivy wall and there stood Ian in perfect
save Grace from danger
mode.  The only thing that made this so not funny was that I was five feet above him, in a tank and boy shorts, staring at a mesmerized, not scared, Ian.

I straightened fast not covering anything like I probably should, and landed in one jump on the floor beside him. I’d nixed the Fey pjs days ago and reverted back to my comfy sleeping attire after raiding my old room. I hated getting tangled up in the long silk gowns and such.  “Forgive my abrasiveness, my lord.  I don’t know what devil is in me,” I tried out my best from nowhere foreign accent while curtsying.  He should have laughed now, but he was still standing there, staring at me.  “Well, speak at least.” Getting a little uncomfortable now with my hand now riding my hip and popping out to the side revealing more skin, I decided I probably shouldn’t have done this. 

“Um, I’ll leave you to get ready,” he eyed Danella giving him the mother hen get-your-hormonal-male-self-out-of-here look and slowly inched backwards out of the room.  “Um, I’ll find you when you are ready.”  His eyes trailed south all the way down to my toes just as he left.  Yep!  Got what I wanted.

“Breakfast it is.”  I giggled and ran to the bath hurrying Danella and frustrating her more and more with my girl power attitude. 
              “If you don’t slow down, you’ll have all manner of knots and whatnot in your hair.  And I daresay you might deserve a lash or two if you pull another stunt like that in the future.  No respecting proper young lady should—“

“Oh, Danella.  I feel like I just came alive.  Like I’ve been living in a bubble for years and couldn’t get out.  Let it be.  I wasn’t intending to give him an eyeful, only torture him
.
  He’s the one who insists on barging in every time I raise my voice above any octave higher than normal thinking I’m in some kind of grave danger.  So punish him.”             

“Oh, I will.  I will.”  And she bundled off in a tiff.

Of course, upon opening my door, there stood Ian doing the leaning Greek god in black jeans and boots thing.  “Since when did you go back to human clothes?”  I looked him over watching his slow grin.

“Since you’ve started sleeping in hardly anything at all.  And since I know it affects you.”             

“Does not!” I sulked.  He raised one eyebrow.  “Not fair.”  I folded my arms.  He folded his arms and grinned.  He so knew just what to do. 
Fine! 

“An eye full, huh?  Is that what that was?  And that is what you consider
fair
?”

“You heard me?” My eyes were wide with curiosity.

“Through the door well enough if that’s what you’re worried about.”  He was hinting at mind reading and I was thoroughly relieved to be reminded that he couldn’t see my most embarrassing moments through my own eyes unless I could turn off the leaky emotions and concentrate to the point of a brain hemorrhage.  So much for soundproof doors.

He stood there deliberating something or another and said, “Definitely torture if you casting my vote.  And for the record, grave danger or not, a scream like that will beckon me every time.”  He grinned.

Was that a threat?  I nodded not sure what else I really could say.  “Danella says she is going to have a talk with you.  That you’re not allowed in my room again.”

“We’ll see about that.  Nothing can or will keep me away from you if I feel the slightest tinge of fear.”

Yep! 
That was a threat.  A sweet, loving, overprotective threat that I couldn’t help but look forward to recreating again.

We spent the morning at the range doing various weapons and self defense after a extremely healthy, rather tasty,  breakfast of freshly made bread that resembled a fruit cake.  I spent equal time with Ian, Pike, and a few guards all taking turns.  I was still getting used to the idea of Pike near me more, but he was being somewhat cordial. At least in theory.  Ian excused himself needing to see to the guards on patrol and would return before lunch. I caught the sidelong look Ian gave Pike as he walked away from him
.
  My amulet, currently under my touch, reminded me of the idea that was still forming from the fact that Ian spent years persuading me to “rub the rock” around my neck.

I continued with the dagger practice throwing it at a target and hoping to get it down so I could practice the bow.  Ian had one specially made for me since this seemed to be my favorite weapon of choice at the moment.  I am certainly well pampered and aimed to keep it from going to my head.

“You need to fold more when you pull up on your dagger.  Pull your elbow back.  Aim for the right parts on your partner.”

I ignored Pike’s jabs on parts and all the other comments he refused to stop torturing me with about what powers I behold, suggestive suggestions, and whatever he could sneak in..  They are only said when Ian walks away.  I can handle him, but Ian couldn’t.  So I continued dodging swords, arrows, and Pike’s lingering stares that lead me to believe that I will always have to watch my back with his presence.  Not because he would harm me, just the opposite.   With my amulet dangling on my arm I began to think about sitting at the picnic table back at high school.  It was a harmless attempt at gaining control and avoiding a situation.  “Will you check the string on my bow?”  Careful to keep my thinking around the random book I could see in my mind as I sat at a random picnic table in my daydreaming, I focused heavily on imaging Ian there with me and no one else.

“Yes!” The bad boy smile returned as always but thinking the opposite of what he should. 
She wants me!

With my head tingling and hands held tight, I braced a straight face and stayed baffled that I didn’t catch all the signals before. I felt stupid afterward doing what I did next but hearing him say that made the urgency to close him out even greater.  Pike came behind me attempting to instruct me on how to hold my bow as Ian had already done countless times in the last few weeks. I didn’t mean to react to Pike’s ploys, but the urge to act was there nonetheless. He was like a lost alpha puppy sometimes, just dark and dangerous and a bit of a rebel. Crazed and overzealous people who constantly wanted my attention seemed to top my list of have to do’s lately.  Help them. I’m sure it comes with the territory of being the Seelie court queen, but three crazed princes following on my heels seems a bit extreme.  So…when I turned abruptly and faced Pike a little closer than wanted, my body reacted as it shouldn’t have and my eyes gave way too much information to his proximity and how it suddenly affected me.   But it was fear, not what he thought it was.

When his eyes widened and his arms unfolded, I made a quick advance back only to be leaned up against the range wall cornered. I tried to look my way out of the arms closing me in, but he was so close. I couldn’t see my guards. I couldn’t see anyone.

His breathing picked up.  He knew Ian wasn’t there to stop him.  I thought he would be nicer since he was at the court more, but this was over the top. Cornered, I thought briefly about what makes Pike the way he is.  It’s not that he is a bad guy.  And someone so good looking doesn’t have a problem finding a girl to crush on him.  And I’m not simply trying to convince myself that he’s not that desirable, it’s just…
that he is just that. 
And cornering me was undeniably not helping my willpower to ignore him.  The conflicting emotions were swaying back and forth.  He was wired to me somehow, but I still didn’t think it was an attraction thing.

“Are you done trying to ignore me?  Have you reasoned it out enough?”

“You
are
listening?  That in itself is what just makes you so….” My amulet was too hard to grab and keep hold of the rail.

“And do you think Ian wasn’t listening all these years?  I can’t protect you Grace without listening.  You won’t let me get close enough to protect you otherwise.”

Stupid gullible heart.  Stupid facial reactions.  “Don't do this.”

He did something I would have never predicted next and when my eyes closed momentarily to wish it all away, I expected him to walk away as he often did. His eyes were gleaming somewhere between a darker shade of black that seemed to see right through me with a Pike x-ray vision. He leaned in closer if that were even possible and whispered, “Admit what you can’t deny.”  His lips brushed mine for the slightest millisecond caught in time. He had no right to make me do this.
 

“
See
,
I told
you
.  Nothing.” 

He was gone when I finally left the perched corner I hovered in and knew the smoky scent was leaving me and moving away.  Unclenching my eyelids to take notice of every guard in the place watching me who, not one I noticed, came to my rescue.  I wanted to break down right then.  Cry out every fear and longing I hated. 
He had no right!
“Why did none of you help me?” 

“Not able to disable a Seelie Prince, once removed or not,” said one, but obsessively obedient one.

Worse than anything that just transpired, Pike heard everything that went through my thoughts.  My pendant, I now noticed, just flipped against my face having pulled on it when perspiration hit me all over at his departure.

Even worse, Ian would know soon that I hesitated though it wasn’t for the reasons Pike assumed.  Pike would make sure Ian knew about the whole scene or I would first. 
Dang him! 
I knew one thing for sure.  I sure didn’t like Pike in that way.  Those aren’t butterflies I feel when he’s near; they are centipedes and all their too many hands.  Yuck!

Midday meal passed.

Dinner passed.

Darkness came and still no sign of Ian having any indication of my betrayal hesitation.  I rationalized that I didn’t cause it.  I didn’t initiate it.  I didn’t ask for it.  I didn’t—

“Will you tell me what’s bothering you?” Ian was standing by the trampoline looking down at me eyeing my jeans in the dark.  I didn’t even hear him slip up on me.

My eyebrows drew in telling him I was holding a secret and confirming his suspicion.  “Do you not know?”

“Should I?”

If Ian did know, he wasn’t letting me in on it.  “I’m not sure you want to know.”  That was the truth at least.             

“And if I had some type of answer for your burning questions, no doubt driving you mad and me too in the process, would it help you work out your mixed feelings?”

He knew.  I couldn’t look his way.  And he didn’t climb and find me so easily in the darkness like he usually did.  Did he read Pike’s feelings?  His thoughts?  The guards?
 
“I have no mixed feelings,” I muttered low.  “If you know, then you know that?”

He nodded.  “Do you want to tell me about it?” 

Why would he punish himself with it?  And what kind of answer was that?  “I was on the range.  Pike cornered me.  I….”  I wouldn’t hurt him.  I’d already done enough. 

“You didn’t do anything wrong Grace and the guards hold no power over a Seelie heir meaning Pike is immune to any attack from our own guards.”

My anger at his denial of me being blameless shot out like an arrow. “I DIDN’T.  You can’t just cover my tracks in everything I do Ian.  I take responsibility for my own actions.  I’m just plain stupid.”  I sat up positioning crisscross to face him.  And apparently immunity includes mutiny.

“No, you’re not, but there is something you should know.”

My mind told me his tone was warning me something was coming.  My voice told him otherwise.  “I have it coming.  He never quits and is worse when you leave.  Please don’t hate me?”

His face softened though it shouldn’t have.  He climbed onto the net, bounced over to me, and folded his legs out to the side not touching me anywhere.  I glared at him momentarily for his silent note taking not having any idea what direction his line of thinking would go towards. 

“You are drawn to all of our kind.  Humans find us appealing as we hide our true nature, but they are still drawn to us.”