Tahn (10 page)

Netta was horrified but said nothing. What could she possibly do?

“He’s so big,” said Temas, who was paired with Stuva. “I don’t wanna fight. Can I scream an’ act like there’s somebody close?”

“Worth a try,” the teacher replied. “But your adversary has been watching you. He knows there’s no one.”

“I’ll throw my knife at ’im,” little Duncan said with a vehemence that shocked Netta.
What is he doing to these children?

“Only throw if you know your mark and your opponent without a doubt. If he dodges, you are unarmed.”

“I’d tell him I just wanna pass, and he’d be wise to be on his way,” Briant said, sounding like a teenager at seven.

“But he attacks,” the warrior told them. “Go ahead, strangers.”

All four of the bigger children moved on the smaller ones, and they were suddenly sparring roughly. It was hard for Netta to watch. They fought like it was real, and the man walked among them, shouting encouragement or criticism. After the separate battles, all four of the younger ones were conquered, Temas and Duncan easily. But Rane had bitten his opponent and nearly squirmed away, and Briant had moved handily with his stick before finally being bested by the much bigger Vari.

“Better,” their fierce teacher told them. “One of these days, you’ll be surviving. Now, why did I wait before calling you up to the cave?”

They were all quiet until Stuva spoke. “You were checking to make sure it was safe.”

“What did I find?”

“It was safe,” Doogan said.

“No. I waited. Why? What did I see?”

They were thinking, all but Vari, who smiled and waited.

“The lady,” Temas said, “an’ her things outside.”

“Yes. But I waited. Why?”

“You saw somethin’ that wasn’t here before?” Stuva asked.

“Indeed.” Tahn nodded his head. “I want you to remember that. Whenever you go out and come in, look. If anything has changed, do not come in as usual. Why? What would it mean?”

“Somebody else has been here,” Doogan said. “Maybe not a friend.”

“That’s right. Remember that.” He glanced over at Netta. “That’s enough for now,” he told them. “Drink what you need. From the youngest.”

He walked over toward Netta. “They will need to rest now,” he said. He turned to leave.

“Sir,” she called out, and he faced her.

She quaked inside, wondering how to address this. Why couldn’t she just let it go?

He stood in silence, waiting, and she forced herself to meet his intense eyes. These were children, and for their sakes she must speak boldly.

“I saw that you can read, sir,” she began. “Are you teaching it to them?”

“I haven’t gotten to that yet,” he answered with no excuses.

She swallowed hard, searching for the words. “You do agree that it’s important?”

“I suppose so, yes. But first things first, Lady.”

“
First
they should be children! You’re supposed to teach them, you say. But you hurt them, and they hurt each other when they act this way! It is letters they need, and a decent chance to develop a moral strength. Don’t you consider such things?”

He looked at her in a way that she found impossible to discern. And then he nodded. “I would be grateful,” he told her, “if you would choose to begin while I am gone.”

He called to Vari to follow him, and then he turned and walked out.

Netta wanted to scream at him. How could he act as though he could just snatch her and take over her life? He had no right to expect her to do his bidding, no matter what his reasons were. She was angry, but then she turned and looked at the children. They were all staring at her as if waiting for something. She couldn’t just walk away.

They were so quiet and solemn, with a look in their eyes that told her they had seen more than their share of suffering. He had said they would need to rest. A shame not to have decent beds. “Are you all very tired?” she asked.

“No,” Tam answered, looking at her with his face scrunched up. “Are you going to stay with us?”

“A little while,” she told him. “Until my ankle is strong, at least. But I need to find my family when I can.”

“But our teacher said your family is dead,” Stuva told her.

The words were like a blow to Netta.
Surely not. Not all of them!

“It’s all right,” six-year-old Rane added. “We don’t have family either. We make it all right.”

“We’ve got each other, though,” Briant said. “We’re a shayleelay.”

“A what was that you said?” Netta asked.

“A shayleelay. Since we’re not a family,” the boy told her.

“But what does that mean?”

“It’s just what we are. Since we stay together and all.”

“Where did you hear that word?” she asked.

“I made it up. Vari said I could.”

Vari was returning to the chamber just then and laughed. “I didn’t know you’d take me seriously.” He was carrying Netta’s belongings that had been by the entrance, and he set them down beside her.

“The teacher said to bring these in,” he explained. Then he gave Netta a long look. “You shouldn’t be so upset. He’s the best.”

She thought of Karll once more and could barely squelch the tears. “He’s a killer,” she said quietly and then immediately wished she hadn’t spoken. She was still unsure of this boy, or even the smaller ones. But her words didn’t seem to bother any of them.

“Yes,” Vari acknowledged. “We know. But he’s the best. He’s quick and he’s quiet. He don’t brag, just gets the job done.”

Netta was certain that she read admiration in the boy’s eyes. “Surely you don’t wish to be like him?” she asked, unable to hide her horror.

But he was looking at her oddly. And he sighed. “Not completely like him, I guess,” he finally answered. “I never wanted to be a killer, nor much of a fighter neither. And he respects that.”

Netta stared at the boy in front of her. He was as big as she was. With wild hair and wildlooking eyes, he truly looked like he could be dangerous. What he said had surprised her. But especially what he said about that frightening warrior. Hadn’t he just been teaching them, even the littlest ones, to fight?

Vari must have seen her doubt. “You can be sure none of us’ll hurt you,” he said. “We’d fear the Dorn over that, indeed. And
he
won’t hurt you neither, ma’am. He’s taken with you, perhaps. I don’t know.”

His words hung in the air for a moment, and she felt a knot in the pit of her stomach. Taken with her? The thought stirred a churning discomfort in her, but she brushed it aside quickly to grab onto something else Vari had said. “The Dorn?” she asked. “Is that what you call him?”

“Sometimes.”

“What does it mean?”

“Don’t know. It’s his name. Tahn Dorn.”

“You said you would fear him. Would he hurt you? Does he?”

Vari laughed. “I suppose he’d do what it took if one of us was trouble, but otherwise I don’t suppose he’ll hurt us none. You never know for sure, I guess. But I don’t expect it.”

Little Duncan crept up beside her and sat down. “Don’t worry,” he said, his big sad eyes looking up at her. “We’ll mind him good. There won’t be no trouble.”

Netta felt like crying. A flock of children pledging allegiance to a killer and afraid to do otherwise. “You don’t have to stay with him, do you?” she ventured. “Don’t any of you want to leave?”

Temas slipped forward toward Duncan, shaking her head.

Nine-year-old Stuva spoke up. “Where would we go? Back to the streets to freeze next winter or starve if we can’t steal enough? Or maybe get caught and beat to the bone?” The memory was noticeably intense in him. He was almost trembling. But his face was set, not willingly betraying the emotion. “Or we could go back to Valhal,” he continued. “And be locked up and beat on, if they don’t kill us for leaving. We’re not like you, Miss,” he said. “None of us ever saw no fine house. Most of us don’t remember no family to mourn over. All we ever been is hungry and scared, till Samis. Then not so hungry but scared lots worse.”

She looked around at their dirty and solemn faces. So many of them were nodding in agreement. Were they all orphans? Or abandoned in the streets?

“What’s moral strength?” Doogan suddenly asked.

“Yeah,” Tam said. “Something we gotta learn?”

Netta smiled. “Everyone needs it, yes. But sadly, some never find it.”

“Is it hard?” Rane asked.

“No.” Netta looked around at them. “It is simply knowing right from wrong and the proper and godly thing to do whatever your situation.”

“It sounds hard,” Temas remarked.

“I’m hungry,” Duncan said.

“Shut up,” Tam whispered to him urgently. “No complainin’, now.”

Netta looked at them both and took the smaller boy’s hand. “If you’re hungry, dear one, it’s all right to say so.” She looked up at all of them. “I don’t know what he has told you about that. But with me, if you need something, just say so, and we’ll do the best we can and ask the Lord to make up the difference.”

“But we only got one loaf left, Miss,” Stuva told her. “And he said that was yours. He’ll be back soon enough bringing more for us.”

Netta shook her head. “Not for quite a while, I’m afraid.”
So that’s where he went in such a hurry. Without even allowing himself rest.
“Let’s share what we have in the meantime, shall we?” she suggested. “Fetch the bread for me.”

She reached in her own bag and pulled out the two remaining apples and the knife Tahn had left with her.

But all of the children were reluctant to eat, hungry as they were. “Come on now,” she told them. “If it is mine, I can do what I wish with it, can’t I?”

Rane smiled at her, and it was good to see that from one of them. “I guess so,” he said.

She cut the apples and bread till there were eight pieces of each. It was so little for so many, but she didn’t want to be troubled about it in front of them. Let them learn that God shall provide. “Is it all right with you if I bless the food?” she asked.

“You mean pray?” Rane said with wonder.

“Of course she means pray,” Vari said impatiently. He turned his eyes toward Netta. “Do what you want.”

She said her brief thanks and passed around the meager meal.

“None for you?” Temas asked.

“No. No, I don’t need it,” she told them. “I’ll eat with you tomorrow, Lord willing.”

Vari looked up at her with a strange expression.

“What does ‘Lord willing’ mean?” asked Doogan.

Netta paused. Did they know nothing about God? Perhaps not, with such a background and such a teacher. But she couldn’t leave it that way. She would have to tell them all she could in the time she had with them. “I mean that we can trust God,” she began. “He is our provider. I thanked him for this food, and I know he will give us more. He may use Mr. Dorn to bring it, but he will provide, one way or another.”

“What if he’s unwilling?” Vari asked, the challenge plain in his face.

“He could not be unwilling,” Netta assured them. “God loves his children. He will provide for us.” But she sighed. This was a test of her trust as well as theirs. Never before had her future been so uncertain. “Let’s not worry,” she said. “Go ahead and eat.”

All of the children obeyed her, but Vari met her eyes and mumbled, “I’ve known many days when he was unwilling for me and I had nothing.”

“No,” Netta insisted. “He is always willing to provide for us. This world can be terrible sometimes. But it’s because of men who don’t do as they should. For each of you, the times you were hungry, I’m sure God was willing for you to be fed. He loves you. But there was a person somewhere who was unwilling to do the right thing or all too willing to do the wrong.”

“I understand that,” Doogan told her. “I always tried to beg first, and only stole if I had to. Sometimes I could see ’em thinking it over, but often as not they’d turn me away anyhow.”

“How do you know God is real?” Stuva asked. “Especially if he can’t make people do what he wants?”

“I know it can be hard to understand,” Netta explained. “Especially when people are cruel. But God does not want to
make
people do anything. He wants us to choose to do right. We can ignore him if we wish, and many people do. But he would have us to love one another.”

“Samis said there’s no God,” Tam said in a voice barely above a whisper.

“Maybe no one has told him. God created this world. He sent his Son, Jesus, to teach us about his love. Wicked men killed Jesus, but he rose from the dead. And he is with us always.”

“Does the Dorn know you’re a Jesus teacher?” Stuva asked with concern.

“Of course he does,” Tam maintained.

Netta nodded in affirmation. “He does,” she assured them.

“Then it must be okay,” Briant assented.

“But you’re supposed to be a letters teacher, right?” Stuva questioned again.

“That too,” Netta told him, feeling unnerved by the idea. She’d been too taken off guard by all these children to insist that her kidnapper help her find her way. But now the little ones were all looking at her with such expectation. She could think of no solution. Perhaps she should accept the charge, at least for the day, and do everything she could for them while she was here. She looked around at their dirty faces. “Are you anxious to start?”

“We’re done eating,” Stuva answered. “We might as well. Maybe we should do that first and talk about Jesus after.”

“Well enough with me,” she replied. “Does that suit everyone?” There were nods from all the children except Vari.

“Do any of you read at all yet or know any of your letters?”

“No, Miss,” Temas answered for all of them.

“I do,” Vari told her with a sober look. “But the rest weren’t to Valhal long enough.”

The second mention of Valhal filled her with questions. Where was this place? What was it? And who was Samis?

But she had other business at hand and an idea of how to begin. “You can be my helper then, Vari,” she told him, suddenly considering that if she were to gain their confidence as a teacher, perhaps she could draw them away from the fearsome man she could not trust. With that in mind, she carried the water bucket over to the wall and set candles close. Then she wetted her finger and carefully drew an A on the rock wall. The water darkened the rock just enough to make the shape visible.