Taft 2012 (23 page)

“We must pursue them and treasure them together as a whole people. And so I challenge you today, my friends, my neighbors, to cease projecting your hopes and dreams onto me alone—onto any one single leader!—and instead to turn this Taft Party into something bigger than me, bigger even than the presidency. I challenge you to build it into an ongoing, sustainable effort encouraging
all
Americans to seize their towns, their states, their country by the horns—together!—and make of it what they will. That party would be a party worth holding.”

As he heard his own words, a wild idea entered Taft’s head, and he was unable to prevent the grin from spreading across his face. “That party,” he said, “should not be named for me. Nor should it be named for any man at all, but for an idea. If indeed we are to seize America by the horns, then we should do so under a horned banner. I say, let us call this grand movement of 2012 and beyond … the new Bull Moose Party!”

Scattered cheers mixed with laughter mixed with a hazy fog of
confusion. Well, Taft thought, at least some of them understand me, and that will have to be good enough.

“We are all imperfect,” he said, remembering a speech he’d given years before. “And so we cannot expect perfect government. The president cannot make the clouds rain or the corn grow, nor can he make business good; although when these things occur, political parties do claim some credit for the good things that have happened in this way.” He wiped a hand across his sopping brow. “As I look back as far in my memory as I can, to my youth in the 1870s, and think of what has progressed in the inventions of the human race, the changes are marvelous. The telephone, the motorcar, the electric lifestyle—the airplane, the television, the Google, even the digital golf course!—what would we do without them? How rapidly we adapt ourselves to feel the absolute
necessity
of those improvements, of which we knew and imagined nothing a mere hundred fifty years ago! And yet many of these are only conveniences or comforts. True necessities confront us from other directions: the fuel to power all these devices, for one, and the fuel to healthily power our own bodies, for another.

“And now—my friends!—do not let us minimize the task before us. We Americans are a good people—a very, very good people—but one of our weaknesses is an assumption, justified by a good many miracles that have saved us from egregious mistakes in the past, that we should always expect America to be healthy and strong on its own, because we believe that God looks after children, drunken men, and the United States! We must get beyond that assumption. I do not know how we will do so. But I know we must.

“It has been,” Taft concluded, “an honor and a privilege, albeit an unexpected one, to carry your banner thus far. I cannot continue waving it at your vanguard, but you have my promise that I shall always offer you whatever small good my quiet, humble
contributions may possibly be worth in the future.” And then he bowed at the waist and walked down the steps at the side of the stage, where Rachel and Susan embraced him. The applause was loud, though possibly not as loud as before.

“That,” said Rachel, “was some speech.”

“That?” said Taft. “Pshaw! I have delivered longer.” He thought for a moment. “Though not, I will grant you, without writing them down first.”

“H
ereby do I, William Howard Taft, solemnly affirm that I will administer justice without respect to persons, and do equal right to the poor and to the rich, and that I will faithfully and impartially discharge and perform all the duties incumbent upon me as a justice of the Supreme Court under the Constitution and laws of the United States. So help me God.”

—
William Howard Taft, speaking the traditional oath at his swearing-in ceremony as justice of the Supreme Court, as administered by President Rachel Taft, March 2021

This book would not exist without the aid of numerous research texts, but two in particular:
The William Howard Taft Presidency
by Lewis L. Gould (which taught me what kind of president Taft was) and
William Howard Taft: An Intimate History
by Judith Icke Anderson (which taught me what kind of man Taft was). That said, any distortion of Taft’s character or accomplishments is wholly mine. And probably on purpose.

As for a bottomless well (pit?) of inspiration, I owe everything to our collective benefactor, bogeyman, savior, and specter: the American two-party political system. Long may she waver.

Mostly, though, I’d like to express my everlasting gratitude to my editor, Stephen H. Segal.
Taft 2012
was his mad idea, and his patience, passion, and inspired input made it all possible. Thanks, Stephen, for letting me babysit your brainchild. This book is as much yours as it is mine.

JASON HELLER
is a journalist, author, and editor whose work has appeared frequently in
The A.V. Club, Alternative Press, Weird Tales, Fantasy Magazine, Clarkesworld
,
Tor.com
, and numerous papers in the Village Voice Media chain. He is the author of
The Captain Jack Sparrow Handbook
(2011) and a contributor to the
A.V. Club
book
Inventory
(2009).
Taft 2012
is his first novel. He lives in Denver, Colorado.