Authors: Linda Joffe Hull
Tags: #sweet heart deal, #mrs. frugalicious, #couponing, #mystery, #mystery fiction, #mystery novel, #linda hull, #linda joffe, #shopping mystery
twenty-three
“Welcome back,” Jorge said
upon our return to the hotel. “How did everyone enjoy the ruins?”
“Cool,” Eloise said, with less enthusiasm than she might have had she not endured a
car-ride
long
reminder
from Frank about not crying wolf.
“Very cool,” added FJ with inflection, having managed to avoid any of Frank's potentially more controversial opinions.
Trent flashed the three masks he bought after the
chance
meet-and
-greet with Arturo the iguana. “
Super
cool.”
“Good,” Jorge said, “because it's going to be hot around here all evening.” He pointed to a white board filled with evening activities. “Pool volleyball starts in five minutes.”
“Already wearing my swim trunks,” FJ said.
“Me too,” added Trent.
“I'm supposed to meet Ivan at the
swim-up
bar,” Eloise said.
“They're serving margaritas poolside,” Jorge said to Frank and me.
“Sounds like a plan,” Frank said.
“I can't believe how much is going on,” I said, scanning the board, which looked like a summer camp schedule for adults:
Pool Volleyballâla grande piscina
Fajita Fiestaâla terraza
Salsa Dancingâestudio de baile
Karaokeâbar junto a la piscina
Dessert Barâla terraza
Moonlight Swimâla grande piscina
“Ready to put on your dancing shoes?” Jorge said.
“I don't know the first thing about salsa dancing,” Frank said.
“No experience necessary,” Jorge said.
“I'm exhausted just thinking about it,” I said, feeling exhausted by the prospect of all the thinking I needed to do. “I'm going to have a little rest.”
“Let's roll,” Trent said.
“Enjoy! And you enjoy your siesta, Señora Frugalicious,” Jorge said. “But one thing before you all scatter off ⦔
He walked back toward the bell stand and produced a familiar
peach-colored
envelope.
My stomach lurched as Frank reached for the note. “Apparently, we're all going to be doing some dancing tonight,” he said, scanning the note.
“Seriously?” FJ said.
“I don't dance,” Trent added.
“Ivan said he's a great dancer,” Eloise said.
The boys rolled their eyes.
“Anastasia wants us showered, dressed, and down in the lobby at seven thirty.”
“I thought we were free for the evening,” FJ said.
“We basically are, but the hotel wants us to get a few promotional shots of everyone relaxing and enjoying the dancing, karaoke, and the moonlight swim,” he said. “You knowâbusiness as usual ⦔
Tired as I was, a nap was entirely out of the question. Instead, I pulled my computer out of the safe, powered it on, and proceeded to review, revise, and revamp the information I'd collected since I'd first written it all down a few short days earlier. Aware that I would likely be asked to pull up my spreadsheets, possibly on camera, I began by deleting what was wrong, updating, and adding to what I knew:
WHAT REALLY HAPPENED TO ALEJANDRO?
Murdered
Why?
He was a bad guy?
Other?
By whom?
Angry Hotel Employee?
Disgruntled Guest?
Other?
How?
Drugged and drowned
I went into the POTENTIAL SUSPECTS and grouped all the suspects that had been already paraded by us into a master category entitled
Family,
and then crossed them all off.
Seeing as I couldn't add a second category called
Mexican Mafia
any more than I could add a third entitled
The Family Frugalicious
and list Geo, Anastasia, Frank, and everyone in the crew, I closed the file, opened EVIDENCE FOR MURDER, and put a line through everything but Sombrero Lady.
I narrowed PEOPLE TO QUESTION to two potential categories:
Sombrero Lady
Other
Unable to specify that by
other
, I meant the mob and/or someone(s) on the cast or crew of
The Family Frugalicious
, I went into to my stealth investigation sheet, SHOPPING TIPS 101, where I reread, crossed out the answered questions, added notes, and jotted down everything I needed to add to my spreadsheet:
Alejandro's sudden and prominent appearance at the beginning of the shoot. Coincidence, or by design?
Alejandro's unexpected flirtation and notes. Why?
Suspicious behavior:
Anastasia
Geo
Crew
I added Frank to the list. Below the names, I listed all the suspicious incidents I could think of, including the crew proclaiming
they'd gotten their
money shot
as fireworks reflected against Alejandro's
sheet-covered
body, Frank's overzealous protestations of innocence, and Anastasia's recent hijinks at the ruins.
The convenient timing of Alejandro's deathâmoments before he'd requested we meet, and at the very spot where the final group wedding photos were to be shot.
The killer knew the security cameras were down in that area. Did he/she/they also know the wedding photos would be shot there?
Investigation resolved very quickly and determined to be an accident by police despite suspicious circumstances. Why?
Fear of an organized group more powerful than the Hacienda de la Fortuna family?
Sombrero Lady. Key to finding killer?
Funeral scheduled even more quickly. Why?
The sudden parade of naysayers and people with potential motive.
I folded the final two spreadsheet items into the
Suspicious Behavior by Cast and Crew
category:
Shooting schedule extended and budget increased with a single phone call to execs about an “accidental” death?
Geo's initial persons of interest/questions list matching mine.
As I looked things over, it was clear I needed to simplify. Instead of adding items to the current spreadsheet, I created a new list entitled WHAT I KNOW and jotted down the facts:
Someone drugged and drowned Alejandro.
Someone injured Geo.
Alejandro was a tyrant.
I created a second list and called it WHAT I THINK I KNOW:
The killer was part of an organized group?
The Family Frugalicious
is somehow connected to this group?
Whoever killed Alejandro was trying to either kill/warn Ivan and hurt Geo in the process?
After adding everything else I knew or thought I did, from my theories on why the family was so forgiving of Alejandro's various personality deficits, their reticence to question the suspicious nature of his death, and the fact that no one seemed to have any idea how or why Ivan was a target and Geo had been dragged into the fray, I had to believe that Ivan was on to something.
In order to figure out exactly what that was, I created the most important list of all, WHAT I NEED TO FIND OUT:
What was it that Alejandro did that resulted in his murder and a threat to everyone in the extended clan?
Why exactly did he/she/they send a warning/attempt to kill Ivan?
Why was
The Family Frugalicious
in the midst of the fray?
I was about to start figuring out exactly how I was going to go about answering those questions when I heard the door to the suite creak open. With the sound of voices in the living room, I closed the computer, ran to the closet, and placed it back inside the safe. While I made up a new code that wasn't some combination of our children's birthdates to keep Frank out, I had to wonder if it would even matter. What if my (ex) husband, as part of the staff of
The Family Frugalicious
, was already in bed with the hotel management?
And, perhaps, the mob?
Frank popped his head into the room. “Anastasia just called an emergency meeting.”
“About?”
“Philip showed up with some new development he needs to share with us,” he said, motioning me to stand. “We need to get downstairs ASAP.”
twenty-four
“I'm sorry to cut
into your free time,” Philip said. “But we've uncovered some important information.”
“That's why we're here,” Frank pronounced, as though Alejandro's murder was the sole reason we were down in Mexico in the first place.
For all I knew, it had been all along.
“Whadda ya got?” I asked, sounding like a bad noir detective.
Seeing as our interchange was already cheesy, and, of course, taking place in front of the cameras, I was sure Anastasia would yell
cut
.
Instead, she gave us the thumbs up.
So did our
part-time
reverend,
full-time
police officer,
not-quite
-
attractive-enough
-
to-be
-
on-camera
, newly minted technical consultant Steve.
“We've spent all day with the local authorities,” Philip said. “And we have a number of new leads.”
“Fantastic,” Frank said, a bit too enthusiastically.
Philip reached for some papers Steve had just placed right outside of the camera shot. “Here is a credible list of people who might have had a grudge against Alejandro and/or Ivan.”
“Ivan?” Eloise asked plaintively.
“Someone came after him for a reason,” Philip said. “We need to find out what it is.”
“Butâ”
“But whoever it is had to also be aware that the security camera wasn't working by the pool where Alejandro was found.”
“So everyone on the list fits all three criteria?” FJ asked.
Philip nodded. “We believe one of the people on it is either the murderer, or is someone with a direct link to whoever's behind what's going on.”
“Sweet,” Trent said as Philip began to hand out copies, starting with me.
As I expected, the list was full of mostly unfamiliar names and long enough to keep all of us busy until we finally got to go home:
Cesar Y. / Recreational Equipment Manager
Luis T. / Bartender
Tito O. / Pool Maintenance
Pablo G. / Lifeguard Staff
Rosa R. / Front Desk
Ana S. / Spa Employee
Octavio B. / Groundskeeper
Victor C. / Food Services
Jesus M. / Food Services
Carmen L. / Hair Salon
Raul R. / Grounds Staff
Fernando P. / Maintenance
Marisol M. / Yoga Instructor
Unsurprisingly, I didn't recognize almost any of them. I was surprised, however, by two more familiar names on the list:
Zelda R. / Housekeeping
Beti B. / Vacation Ownership Staff
“How did you come up with this list?” I asked.
“Actually, you initiated it by asking Jorge about potentially suspicious folks. He sent the request up the food chain and these are the names they compiled.”
“Nice work, Mom,” Trent said.
“We want you to find out anything and everything you possibly can and report what you hear back to us,” Philip said. “Then, we'll take it from there.”
“Cut,” Anastasia said and ran over to give Philip a smooch. “You're a natural, darling.”
“Thank you,” he said.
“Okay,” she said to the rest of us. “Here's what we're going to do ⦔
I wondered how much more surreal things could possibly get as Anastasia began to outline her
insta-plan
: we would participate in the activities we were already scheduled to enjoy on camera and take turns tracking down information about various people on the list throughout the evening. That was, under the assumption that people who feared for their job security and the livelihood of their families might actually divulge why they hated Alejandro or disliked Ivan, and then admit that they knew the security system was down by the pool so they could commit a murder there.
“I'll mainly need Maddie and Frank for the salsa dancing shots, I'll want everyone for karaoke, and primarily the kids for the moonlight swim. Well, maybe one or two romantic moments with Frank and Maddie under the stars.”
All three kids scrunched their noses.
“Since we'll have our cameras set up in the tango studio, karaoke bar, and the pool area, try to be seen talking to the suspects and other employees in those areas, if you can.”
“What about audio?” Frank asked.
“You'll be miked, but we can't count on anything,” she said. “So I'll set up a confessional for everyone to report what they've heard.”
“So, I'm supposed to say to people, âHey, I'm kinda seeing Ivan. Do you hate him, or what?'” Eloise asked.
“That's not bad, actually,” Anastasia said. “Use the fact that you're interested in him as an entrée to talk about him.”
“I guess I could do that if I'm, like, not with him at the time.”
“We'll figure out the details as we go along,” Anastasia said as if she already hadn't.
“So basically we're on a
resort-wide
scavenger hunt to find out who hated Alejandro the most?” Trent asked.
“And why,” FJ added.
“Exactly.” Anastasia smiled as broadly as I'd seen her smile since she'd said
I do
. “See you in the dance studio at eight fifteen to salsa, sing, swim, and sleuth!”
I managed to shower, change, and get ready with enough time to run downstairs, locate Ivan by the swim-up snack bar, and show him the names before I had to meet up with cast and crew in the dance studio.
“Every person on here had a legit grievance of some kind with Alejandro,” Ivan said.
“Grievances worthy of murder?”
“He insisted that Carmen give him free haircuts. He never, ever tipped Luis the bartender. And Ana Suarez ⦔ He sighed. “But, to be honest, I'm just as bugged that this many people might not like me than I am worried about any of them hating Alejandro enough to kill him.”
“All I've heard is how much everyone loves you around here.”
“I mean, I thought I was tight with Jesus,” he said, tucking a dreadlock behind his ear. “And Victor said he wanted to introduce me to one of niecesâyou know, before I met Eloise and everything ⦔
“No need to explain,” I said. “This list feels just as off as the last one, somehow.”
“To me, it reads more like a secret probation list than anything else,” he said. “I guess Tito qualifies because he'd have known the security cameras weren't working around the pool where they found Alejandro, but still ⦠Where did you say the police got this?”
“I asked Jorge for some names. This list somehow made its way into the hands of the police and on to me.”
“No surprises there,” he said.
“No,” I said.
We scanned the names again together.
“What's your take on Zelda?” I asked.
“Wacky, superstitious, and harmless,” Ivan said. “Although Alejandro was constantly having her break housekeeping rules.”
“Like having her deliver notes?” I dared to ask.
“Did he have her deliver a note to you too?”
I nodded.
He sighed. “That man was quite the operator.”
“Poor Elena.”
“Nothing poor about her,” Ivan said. “Except that she really had no choice but to marry Alejandro.”
“Why?” I asked.
“Family status, tradition, and a little fear.” He pointed to a small infinity sign tattooed on his upper arm. “Speaking of which, Zelda claims this is bad luck and is always warning me to get rid of it.”
“I certainly hope she's wrong.”
“So far, she's been zero for zero with her doomsday predictions,” he said. “But judging by this list, the
Familia de la Fortuna
is definitely running scared.”
“Do you think there's anyone on here who could possibly be of note?”
“Only one person gives me any pause at all.”
“And that is?”
“Beti.”
“The receptionist in the timeshare office?
“She's no killer ⦔ He waited until a busboy wiped down a nearby table and moved away. “But she might be able to clarify a bit more about what I heard that day on the boat.”
“I thought you only heard a few jumbled words.”
“Which I've gone over and over.” He paused. “What I didn't think about was who was saying those words.”
“Meaning what?” I asked.
“I realized the man they were talking to spoke Spanish with an American accent, which is why I didn't notice anything unusual.”
“Why does that matter?”
“That's what I want to find out,” he answered. “You start working your way down the list and I'll track down Beti for you. I know she'll feel safe talking to me.”
“But is it safe for you toâ”
“I trust her. Plus, they organized tonight's events to keep the guests relaxed and entertained, but mostly to keep the staff here and under close surveillance.” He motioned with his head at the camera situated right behind us. “Couldn't be safer around here for any of us, or a better opportunity to try and speak to pretty much everyone. Like shooting fish in a barrel.”
“Okay, butâ”
“I'll get back to you ASAP,” he said, not elaborating on exactly what it was he was looking for. “You ought to hear some interesting stuff in the meantime.”
“I hope so.”
He smiled a wry smile. “Some of it may even be true.”
“What's the point of going through the motions again if it isn't?”
“For one thing, when the
Familia de la Fortuna
needs and expects something from you, you do it.”
“And for another?”
“To be honest?” he said, a hint of color reddening his cheeks. “I'm curious to know why they think all these people don't like me.”
“I'm quite sure this whole interrogation charade will put a rest to that issue,” I said, “if nothing else.”
“Starting with Rosa from the front desk,” he said.
“Why's that?”
He pointed toward an attractive brunette. “Because she just got off her shift and she's heading toward the bar.”
“Ivan's a little bit too hippie-ish for this resort if you ask me,” Rosa said. “But everyone likes him and he's good at his job.”
“And what about Alejandro?” I asked.
“Alejandro was a wonderful man,” Rosa said over the bar noise, and clearly for the record. “Everyone misses him terribly around here.”
“That's not what I'm told,” I whispered.
An odd look crossed her face. “What do you mean?”
“It's no secret that he could be difficult.”
“And flirtatious,” she finally admitted. “On occasion.”
“How many occasions?”
She looked around quickly. “Really, any occasion where Elena wasn't nearby ⦔
My head had already started to spin before I entered the dance studio and met up with an abundance of employees, all of whom were clustered together around the resort security cameras like bugs around a light bulb.
Or, as Ivan had described them
,
fish in a barrel.
“What we're going for here is the Frugalicious Family making the most of their vacation,” Anastasia said as we collected in front of the camera. “And a show of sleuthing.”
Despite the show, and the fact we were once again questioning predetermined “suspects,” the encounter with Rosa had more than piqued my curiosity about what else we were going to hear.
“Here's the plan,” Anastasia continued. “Instead of pairing off, we're going to have the men change partners at the end of each song. That way, you'll each have the opportunity to speak with as many people as possible.”
“And make idiots of ourselves with as many chicks as possible,” Trent said.
FJ shook his head. “So not into this.”
“Do I at least get to start the evening with my bride?” Frank said, his palms sweaty as he reached for my hand.
“Of course.” Anastasia raised her bullhorn. “Everyone else take a partner.”
Eloise, who was less than enthusiastic after getting the news that Ivan had to deal with something and would miss the dancing segment, surveyed her prospects.
“Maybe she should start off with one of the boys,” I said, thinking a
warm-up
dance might help ease her into a friendlier, more inquisitive state of mind.
“That's what's worrying me,” Frank said, glancing over at Trent, FJ, and Liam. More specifically, at FJ and Liam, who appeared as if they'd prefer to pair off with each other.
Eloise stepped over and pulled Liam onto the dance floor.
Trent sidled over to a pretty employee of about eighteen, who seemed pleased by the prospect of dancing with him.
The instructor, a certain Marisol who'd taught the yoga class and was now a member of the suspect list, took a surprised but somewhat bemused FJ by the hand and stepped up to the microphone.
Salsa music began to filter through the room on low and the cameras began to roll.
“Gentlemen, take your partner's right hand in your left and place your right hand on her left shoulder blade,” Marisol said with a
far-too
-
broad-for
-yoga smile. “Ladies, keep your left hand on his right shoulder, with your arm over his.”
Guiding FJ, Marisol did a demonstration for the crowd.
“When dancing, always keep your spine straight and your shoulders back. Keep your head held up or tilted to look directly at your partner. Never look at your feet, nor your partner's.”
Marisol looked deeply into FJ's eyes.
He blushed, then went crimson when she added, “Most important, move those hips!”
The music grew louder.
“Now, let's find that salsa beat!”
30
Despite any disinterest, distaste, or lack of desire to dance, the next thing I knew, we were all keeping 4/4 time in eight counts, switching partners, and shimmying our way across the dance floor and into some intriguing information â¦