Too Big To Miss

Table Of Contents

Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Chapter Four
Chapter Five
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
Chapter Eight
Chapter Nine
Chapter Ten
Chapter Eleven
Chapter Twelve
Chapter Thirteen
Chapter Fourteen
Chapter Fifteen
Chapter Sixteen
Chapter Seventeen
Chapter Eighteen
Chapter Nineteen
Chapter Twenty
Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-Two
Chapter Twenty-Three
Chapter Twenty-Four
Chapter Twenty-Five
Chapter Twenty-Six
Chapter Twenty-Seven
Chapter Twenty-Eight
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Chapter Thirty
Chapter Thirty-One
Sue Ann Jaffarian

Too Big To Miss

An Odelia Grey Mystery

Sue Ann Jaffarian

Hard Shell Word Factory

Dedication
For Rudy

© 2006 Sue Ann Jaffarian
eBook ISBN: 0-7599-4360-5
Published September 2006
Hard Shell Word Factory
PO Box 161
Amherst Jct. WI 54407
[email protected]
www.hardshell.com
Cover art © 2006
All rights reserved

All characters in this book have no existence outside the imagination of the author, and have no relation whatever to anyone bearing the same name or names. These characters are not even distantly inspired by any individual known or unknown to the author, and all incidents are pure invention.

Acknowledgements

Writing can be a lonely occupation, but it is never done entirely alone.
Thank you with all my heart to "Team Odelia"—my agent, Whitney Lee of The Fielding Agency; Barbara Moore, my acquisitions editor; Rebecca Zims, my production editor; Ellen Dahl, my cover designer; Kelly Hailstorm, my publicist; and all the other folks at Llewellyn Worldwide/Midnight Ink for believing in this book and in my ability to tell a good story.
And for their patience and continued love and support during this long and very bumpy journey, I want to thank my friends: Marlaine Burbank, Kevin Gillogly, Susan Groeneweg, Dennis Pollman, Glen Ratcliff, Susan Schwartz, Laura Thomas, Kate Thornton, Lori Tillman, and my web master and nephew, Tom Jaffarian.
And a special thank you to the members of the Los Angeles Chapter of Sisters in Crime.

Chapter One

MY WEEKEND WAS DOA...dead on arrival.
    Two o'clock on a bright Sunday afternoon, and I was already counting the hours until I could go back to work. Now
that's
sad.
    Stopped at the corner of Newport Boulevard and Seventeenth Street in Costa Mesa, I waited to complete a right turn. It was a busy intersection, even on a Sunday. I tapped my fingers impatiently on the steering wheel and looked around.
    
SIZE DOES MATTER!
    
The giant advertisement caught my eye like a hook in a trout's lip.
    Behind me, someone honked. I dragged my attention away from the billboard and saw that the traffic light was green. I hit the gas and turned the wheel of the car sharply, causing the vehicle to swerve as it rounded the corner.
    "Careful, Odelia," I cautioned in a low tone. "No need to season your foul mood with a crunched fender."
    There it was again. This time on a billboard overlooking the grocery store that was my destination.
    
SIZE DOES MATTER!
    
It was all the sign said. Just three words emblazoned across a gargantuan advertisement for a new model sports utility vehicle; as if the damn gas guzzlers couldn't get any bigger.
    Without much trouble, I found a parking spot near the front door of the market. Turning off the engine, I smoothed the fabric of my sun dress across my ample lap, and sat quietly in the car to think. Not about the groceries waiting to be bought, but about the three words now burned forever into my brain.
    
SIZE DOES MATTER!
    
You bet your sweet ass size matters. It matters a lot. Though how and to what it is applied is ambiguous. Size seems to matter in random chaos. No hard and fast rules, just whatever fits your needs at the moment. Jumbo burgers, super-sized fries, and biggie drinks were a good thing. Small paychecks were bad. Big houses were good. Small diamonds bad.
    From the first time Adam noticed shrinkage and explained it to Eve, men have been trying to tell women that size didn't matter when it came to their manhood. Small penis. Big penis. Made no difference. Both were good. The same men have been telling women that size does matter when it comes to breasts, butts and hips. To add to the confusion, big and small could also be good and bad at the same time. Big smile good. Big ass bad. Small waist good. Small tits bad.
    It was a puzzle. A girl needed a scorecard or, at the very least, a seminar with a syllabus to make any sense of it.
    I was feeling sorry for myself. On top of licking wounds from a particularly confusing date the night before, I had just come from visiting my father.
Poor sweet Dad
, I thought, shaking my head. That recent memory alone was enough to entice me into restarting my engine, and driving my old but dependable car right through the plate glass window of the grocery store.
    Giving a deep sigh, I took a minute to think about it. I wasn't the type to look at life through rose-colored glasses, but neither was I a doom and gloom sort. Yet I'd been on edge all weekend. And it wasn't PMS. I'd ridden that roller coaster last week. No, it was something else. Disenchantment maybe, possibly disgruntlement. Rut was written all over my life. R-U-T in big bold letters, outlined in neon tube lighting. It competed for attention with the now important Size Does Matter. For better or for worse, I definitely needed a change. Standing still wasn't an option any longer.
    Stuffed in my wallet were two one-dollar-off coupons for my favorite comfort food, Stouffer's Macaroni and Cheese. Later, I was going to throw myself a pity party—a big one—catered by Sara Lee and all her friends from the frozen food section.
    "Odeliaaaaa," I scolded audibly, drawing out the last syllable in a menacing tone. "Eating this stuff is not going to help matters."
    No it wouldn't, but change could start tomorrow. It seemed natural, new beginnings on a Monday. Diets always began on Monday, so why couldn't other improvements? You never hear of anyone starting anything of importance on a Tuesday or a Wednesday.
    By the way, Odelia is not my imaginary friend. I am Odelia, Odelia Patience Grey, and I tend to talk to myself when alone, though why is beyond me since I never listen. I am hardly a scintillating conversationalist at the best of times, and can be a real nag when my mood is less than sunny. Like now.
    Turning the usual deaf ear to my own lecture, I hoisted myself out of the car and wandered into the store. The brightly-lit aisles of the market beckoned me with specials, and new and improved items. I strolled down each one, gripping a red plastic basket in one hand. It was my misguided opinion, and denial of choice, that if I used a smaller, hand-carried basket rather than a full-size cart, I would be less apt to load up on junk food. Sometimes the theory worked. Most of the time I just experienced shoulder pain from lugging a too full and too heavy basket.
    Meandering the well-stocked aisles, I plucked items from my list off the shelves. Tea bags, two bars of bath soap, and several cans of cat food for starters. I also picked up an assortment of things not on the list—E.L. Fudge cookies, the vanilla ones with the chocolate centers, and the much sought-after, large size macaroni and cheese in the red rectangle box. Out of guilt, and with a bow to nutrition, along the way I tossed in a bag of pre-washed salad mix, a few tomatoes, and a small bunch of bananas. The next stop was the frozen dessert section, where I debated between a carton of Cherry Garcia ice cream and cheesecake, with the latter already in my hand. Using one leg to support the now heavy basket, I deliberated my choice.
    "Put down the Sara Lee, and nobody gets hurt."
    I gave a little jump at the unexpected but familiar voice. Turning around, I held the chilly box in front of me like a hostage in a shoot-out.
    "You'll never take me alive!" I declared.
    A few feet away, wheeling her own full cart, was Zenobia Washington, my dearest friend. She approached me, slowly shaking her head side-to-side.
    "Girl," she said firmly, "you were supposed to call me this morning and let me know how it went last night."
    Zenobia, called Zee by everyone but her father, a man fiercely fond of the unusual name he had chosen for his only daughter, fixed her large, liquid, brown eyes on me and placed a hand on a generous hip. It was an intimidating stance; a posture that worked on most people, but only made me roll my eyes in childish defiance.
    "Is it a safe assumption," Zee continued without waiting for an answer, "from what's in your basket, that the date was a bust?"
    I nodded. I have known Zee for almost fifteen years, dating back to the time we both worked for the same law firm. We were more than good friends. At times we were each other's conscience, a mirrored reflection of life's measurement, both good and bad. But I can say truthfully, and without envy, that Zenobia Washington's image portrayed a more noble character than my own.
    Zee knew that, had my date been a success, my basket would have held lots of fresh fruit, vegetables, and fish. As a rule, my grocery shopping habits ride the roller coaster of my emotions. Like arthritic knees predicting rain, my purchases could foretell a sagging spirit with unfailing accuracy. Zee knew this, and suffered a similar affliction.
    "I was going to call you later," I said, not lying. "I had lunch with my family today."
    "Lunch with your family!" She laughed heartily, her large body jiggling with an almost Santa-like bowl of jelly quality. "Then I'm surprised you only have one package of cheesecake in your hand."
    We were almost identical in size. Both of us are about five-foot-one or so. Both tip the scales in the two-fifteen, two-thirty range, and wear size twenty. We are even about the same age, with Zee at forty-two, and me the elder at forty-five. The only difference is our color. Zee is the color of a creamy, semi-sweet chocolate bar, while my skin tone resembles the cookies in my basket, minus the fudge filling. Zee's husband, Seth, often refers to us as his favorite salt and pepper shakers.
    "So what's this one's story?" Zee asked, referring to my date the night before.
    "The usual," was all I blandly responded, knowing I did not have to go into the gory details with Zee right this minute. It was the same old shit, different cast.
    It had been a fix-up, a blind date set up by a well-meaning skinny co-worker, who had no clue most men in Southern California placed overweight women in the same category as serial killers, and believed them worthy of the same punishment—the death penalty. Finally, I had given in to her assurances that this man and I had a lot in common. Which, sadly, we did. But I saw the look of disappointment on his face when he entered the restaurant and realized I was his date. I had seen that look before. It was unmistakable disgust, encased in civility. Like a dead fish wrapped in clean white butcher paper, the covering kept your hands from being soiled, but could not stop the stink.
    As soon as the check was paid, he had walked me to my car. When he asked for a good night kiss, I thought maybe I was paranoid about his chilly behavior. When his kiss became passionate, I was sure I had read his signals incorrectly. But after washing and waxing my tonsils with his tongue in the darkness of the parking lot, he shrank from any suggestion that we should get together again. After four decades, I knew the score. If I had offered him my body, he would have bedded me, as long as he did not have to be seen with me.
    Zee sighed deeply and reached out a hand to warmly touch my arm. "I'm sorry, sweetie." She took the cheesecake from my hand and put it back into the freezer, receiving no protests. "Seth can't be the only decent man out there."
    Screwing up my freckled face in a most unbecoming way, I demonstrated my lack of faith in her statement. I wanted to be a good sport about it, not a childish whiner. But no matter how you slice the cheesecake, size does matter. How could one argue with a billboard?
    "Why don't you join us for supper tonight?" Zee asked. "Just roast chicken, but it's a lot safer than going home and devouring that crap in the dark. Not to mention, you haven't spent an evening with us in a while."
    Just as I was about to accept, Hannah, Zee's daughter, trotted up. Her gorgeous seventeen-year-old face looked serious. In her hand was a cell phone.
    "It's Daddy," she said in a rush. She looked at me, surprise registering at my presence. Zee reached for the phone, but Hannah stopped her. "He says he's looking for Aunt Odie."
    Zee and I shrugged together as if on cue. I took the phone from the girl.
    "Seth, it's me, Odelia. I was shopping when..." I stopped talking and listened. As his words entered my ear and saturated my brain, I felt my face cloud over and my lower lip tremble.
    "I'll be right there," I finally said stiffly into the phone, then handed it back to Hannah.
    Without looking at Zee, I leaned in close to her and uttered the news Seth had just relayed. My voice was low and raspy. My hands shook.
    "The police just called your house looking for me," I told her. "Sophie London committed suicide."
    Zee being Zee, she kicked into action like a general whose troops were under attack. She turned her cart over to Hannah. "Here, take the car keys and my ATM card...you know the code. Finish getting the stuff on this list, then go right home and stay there. I'm going with Odelia."
    Hannah hesitated, her young face going from mine to her mother's with unasked questions. "But—" she started to say.
    Her mother cut her off, but not unkindly. "Just do as I say, child. And while you're at it, pay for Odelia's things, too."
    She took the red plastic basket from my grasp and hoisted it on top of her own cart. When Hannah started off, Zee stopped her. Opening the freezer door, she took out the cheesecake she had just put back and tossed it into the basket before sending the girl away.
    "We're going to need that," she told me before taking my arm and leading me out of the store.