Sweet Spot: Homeruns #4 (8 page)

“That’s a loaded question,” he responded. “And I didn’t know for certain, but there were things that made me wonder. Like I said, I’ve been a young player. I’ve seen a lot of wickedly talented players, and I can count on one hand the number of them who didn’t go off the rails at one time or another. You never seemed to notice the women who were throwing themselves at you. They were more of an annoyance than anything else.”

“Yeah, because I wasn’t interested in random sex with women who wanted to say they’d fucked me before I was a bigshot,” I retorted. At least that part wasn’t a lie. Having been around it my entire life, I’d learned early to spot who was hanging around because they were fans of the team and those who wanted to have a sordid story to share with their friends. Women were dangerous enough back in my dad’s time, but now, a one-night stand could be devastating to a rookie’s career. Even if I’d been interested in women, I wouldn’t have taken that chance.

“And that made a convenient excuse for you,” he responded. “You felt you had even more to prove because of me, so no one questioned you when you weren’t interested. But what about now? What about after you’re done playing?”

“I’ll figure it out when the time comes. Right now, I still have to focus on what really matters.”

The waiter dropped off the check and Dad quickly handed over his credit card. “Son, I’m going to give you the same advice someone once gave me. Right now, you’re still young enough that your only concern is the game. Ever since you were old enough to play catch and know what was going on at the games your mother brought you to, you talked about being a pitcher someday. There’s nothing wrong with determination. Those are the dreams of a little boy. You need to take time to re-evaluate and figure out if there are other equally important dreams you’re denying because you haven’t had them for as long. The world is bigger than baseball. If you don’t stop to think about what you want outside the park, there’s no way you’ll survive within it.”

C
an you meet up tonight
?

The timestamp indicated Nick had sent the message after two in the morning. For someone who swore he was going to give me time to process everything we’d talked about yesterday, he certainly wasn’t backing up those words. I’d spent most of the night holed up in my room, trying to figure out if Nick and I could be just friends like he’d said he’d be content with. As much as it pained me, I couldn’t be his friend. Maybe some people could, but something about Nick pulled at my heartstrings, and it’d only be a matter of time before I was wishing for more. And neither of us were in a place where we could give more than friendship to the other.

I don’t think that’s a good idea.

My finger hovered over the send button for a full minute before I pressed it. I left my phone in the bedroom while I showered. It was going to be a long day, and I didn’t want to start it by slipping on wet tile and cracking my head open by jumping out of the shower if Nick responded. Not only could I not afford an injury, but even realizing I would do something like that was enough to prove Nick was toxic to my well-being.

Unfortunately, my body didn’t get the memo, because the more I thought about him, the more my dick swelled. He was my first real experience with another man, and still ranked in the top three. Okay, so he was at the top of a very short list, a fact which pissed me off because of how high he’d set the bar. I wrapped my hand around the base of my cock, swearing I wasn’t going to jerk off to the memories of him. I refused to think about the night he and I stroked one another off in this very shower, trying to stay quiet so no one would know what was going on behind closed doors. The way his head fell to my shoulder as he came or how his entire body slumped against mine when I wrapped my arms around him as the water beating down on us cooled. None of those thoughts were welcome.

My phone beeped every forty-five seconds as I tried to get dressed, alerting me there was a new message. I ignored it, wishing Nick could respect my need for some space. For the first time in four years, I purposely walked out of my bedroom with the phone still on my nightstand. There was no one I needed to talk to while I was at work, so it could sit there all day.

“Hey, you’re up early,” Cam greeted me as he whipped up a healthy breakfast. Although he no longer worked for the Mavericks, he was still a stickler about making sure every meal he cooked was created with the guys’ needs in mind. When Mason tried to complain and pointed out there were fewer players than non-players in the house, Cam told Mason he was more than welcome to go out to eat if he didn’t like what was being served. Mason shut up and ate his breakfast. He ran his mouth a lot, but he was smarter than to call Cam’s bluff.

“There’s a charity breakfast today. I have to be there to take pictures of the players who are having breakfast with the fans,” I told him. I’d overheard some of the players grumbling about having to be at the training complex two hours before practice started, but most were looking forward to the event. “I’m surprised Jason didn’t tell you about it.”

“Oh, he did, I guess I’m not used to you being a working man,” Cam teased. “The last time you were down here with us, you stumbled out of your room sometime after noon and then you were grabbing something as you ran out the door to pretend you were interested in baseball so you could watch your boy practice.”

“Don’t call him that,” I protested. Nick wasn’t mine. Him leaving me proved he never had been.

“Oooh, someone’s touchy this morning,” he goaded. I reached for the phone that wasn’t in my pocket and remembered I didn’t own a watch. If I wanted to be on time today, I was going to have to take the damn thing with me. That shouldn’t be a problem, I reasoned, because Nick would also be busy during the day and he wasn’t allowed to take his phone onto the practice fields. Okay, so maybe I’d overreacted. “All I meant was you were pretty gone for that rookie. You can’t deny you’d have gone anywhere he asked you to.”

“Thanks,” I scoffed. “Do us all a favor and keep the salt in your food and out of my wounds.”

Cam turned the stove to low and pulled up a seat next to me. “Damn, you really are touchy today. What’s going on with you?”

“I talked to him yesterday,” I admitted. I’d rather talk about this with Cam than the other guys. He was more like a really cool cousin than an overly protective big brother.

“I take it it didn’t go well?” Cam prodded. I shrugged because I didn’t have an answer for him. “Look, if he’s moved on, then you need to do the same. You’ve been doing well for yourself. Don’t wreck the life you’re creating by wishing for something you can’t have.”

If only it was so simple. Did I dare tell Cam that Nick was the one who wanted to give things another chance? He hadn’t specifically requested as much, but it was evident he’d been hoping for it by the way he reacted when I told him we couldn’t go back to what we used to be. As I drained my orange juice, I decided that Cam was the perfect person to talk about this with.

“That’s not what’s going on,” I admitted to him.

Cam set down whatever he’d been stirring and gave me his undivided attention. When I didn’t offer up the juicy details, he motioned for me to continue. “Unless you’re trying to wait long enough that everyone’s down here, you might want to start talking. I’m sure they’ll all have plenty to say to you on this topic.”

No way in hell did I want everyone to hear about my talk with Nick. Drew would tell me I needed to think long and hard before forgiving Nick, which was what I was trying to do. Bryce, who was the closest thing I had to a father at this point, would give me the same advice he had before: to forget him, because if he’d wanted me, he’d have found a way to talk to me. And Eric, well, he tried to see it from both sides, so there was no telling what he’d say. Sean and Jason would try to stay out of it, but Mason wouldn’t be able to help himself. He’d jump into the conversation and tell me Nick was a sack of shit and didn’t deserve another chance. Sean would then get into it and remind Mason that Nick wouldn’t be the first person to put his career above what he really wanted, and then the entire conversation would derail. Nope. Not what I needed to deal with today.

“Okay, so it’s like this,” I began as I filled a plate with food. I rehashed the entire conversation without interruption, other than a few grunts and nods in places.

“And what do you want?” Cam asked when I finished. I shrugged again, which brought back a memory of Nick bitching at me for not voicing my opinion. “Well, you’re the only person who can figure out the answer to that question. But if it was me, I’d be willing to hear him out. You were both really young back then. I know you’re not the same sullen, shy kid you were four years ago, and I’d bet he’s not the same either. If he’s asking you to give him another chance, I say you should go for it.”

“Go for what?” Jason asked as he joined us. Shit. I shouldn’t have brought this up—now it was going to be the hot topic of conversation over breakfast. Luckily, I wouldn’t be around for most of it.

“Nothing,” Cam answered, giving Jason a warning look. God, I loved this group of guys. I’d made the right choice by talking to Cam about this particular problem. “If you eat quick, the two of you could ride in together.”

“Oh, you’re going in for the breakfast?” Jason asked.

“Yeah, Rebecca wanted me there. Basically, if there’s something going on with the team, expect me to be there taking pictures.” I really wasn’t complaining because it got me more time and experience, but a lot of these things were early in the morning during training so it wouldn’t interfere with the players’ work and evaluations.

“Huh, that’s something new,” Jason mumbled around a mouthful of eggs. “But it’s a good idea. The club was smart to bring you on board. We need someone in the front office who gets that winning on the field isn’t the only key to success. I’ve seen a lot of the clubs trying to do more social media work, but the Mavericks have always been behind the times. I’m not sure how you managed to get them to change their minds, but it’s been good for all of us. You know, if you’re looking for extra work, you should talk to some of the guys about managing their pages for them.”

I huffed out an exhausted laugh. Between work, school, and travel, I was already running myself ragged. It was something to think about after graduation and to strongly consider if I didn’t receive any coveted job offers following the end of my internship. Being a social media manager wasn’t something I wanted to do with my life, but it was a possibility I’d never let myself consider. Jason was the ideas guy in the family, the one who made it so none of us would ever have to wonder what came next.

Jason finished eating and I told him I needed to run up and grab my phone. I tried to resist the pull to check the messages from Nick, but my feet hadn’t even hit the bottom step when I opened the first one.

I’m sorry. I know you want time. Would it help if I told you it’s not about us?

It did help, but it also confused me. I moved on to the next message, which’d been sent a few minutes ago.

Look, some shit went down last night and I need to talk about it. You’re the only one I can share this with.

Whatever was going on, it sounded heavy through his cryptic message. There was a third message, which had come in as I’d opened my bedroom door.

I guess I have my answer. Again, I hope someday you’ll understand how much I wish I could go back and change the past.

“You ready to go?” Jason asked, startling me. I wanted to tap out a quick reply to Nick, but he’d have to wait. Jason already suspected something, and I didn’t want to give him any more reason to sniff out the truth.

R
ebecca let
me go shortly before noon. With it being a non-game day, there wasn’t going to be anything happening in the afternoon. I hoped it didn’t reflect poorly on me that I didn’t bother asking if she was sure there wasn’t something I could do in the office. It’d been twelve days since I’d had a break, and I’d been dying to take my camera out to the desert and practice my landscape photography. There wasn’t much to be captured in the dead of winter back home, so it was fun to get out and not worry about freezing my ass off.

To get to the parking lot, I had to walk past two of the minor league training fields. I paused when I saw Nick having a catch with one of his teammates. It was probably the most relaxed I’d ever seen him. I pulled out my camera and started snapping. His buddy noticed me first and stopped with his arm cocked back. Nick turned to see what had distracted him and broke into a broad smile when he noticed me. I waved at him and bent down to put my bag away. When I got up, Nick had excused himself and was running toward the fence.

“Hey, sorry about this morning,” he said, shuffling his foot through the dirt at his feet.

Shit. I’d forgotten to reply to him this morning. Nick didn’t deal well with screwing up, so he’d likely been pissed at himself all day for going back on his promise to give me space. “I was going to reply, but I had that breakfast thing and Jason wanted to carpool. I didn’t think it was a good time to have my nose buried in my phone.”

“Oh,” he said flatly. “Yeah, that makes sense. Anyway, I wasn’t trying to pressure you or anything.”

I cocked my head to the side, not really wanting to have this discussion through a chain-link fence. “You going to be here much longer or did they let you guys go early, too?”

“I have to stay through the fifth inning of one of the games,” he informed me. The rule didn’t make sense to me, but there had to be a reason for it. “We don’t actually have to watch the games, but most of the time we do. You know, show our support and all that shit.”

“So why weren’t you watching today?” I asked. We walked side-by-side with the fence between us. I thought about Cam’s advice earlier and didn’t chastise myself for wishing I could reach up and push the sweaty hair away from his forehead when he took off his cap.

“Not really in the mood to be around people,” he told me. “I have a lot to think about right now, and listening to those guys talk shit to one another wasn’t helping.”

“Everything okay?” Nick getting his head all twisted up was the last thing he needed.

“It will be,” he assured me. Someone hollered for Nick and he held up a finger to them. “I suppose I’d better get over there.”

“Okay,” I said, trying to hide my disappointment. I turned to leave and then glanced over my shoulder. “If you want, shoot me a text when you’re ready to cut out. I’m going to ride out to the desert a bit later and see if I can get some good shots. You’re welcome to ride along.”

“Yeah, that’d be cool.” The smile on Nick’s face before he turned to jog over to his buddies was the one I wished I’d captured. He was stunning when he was truly happy.