Sweet Spot: Homeruns #4 (19 page)

“You sure about that?” Drew asked. I nodded and smiled to show him I wasn’t heading back to wallow in self-pity. “Okay, well if you change your mind, you know how to get in touch. I’m not sure what we’ll do after we get done with dinner since tomorrow’s a late game.”

“Sounds good.” I quickly stopped by the table to say bye to Jason. I could tell he was also worried about me, but he didn’t question me in front of the others.

I’d intended to wait until I got back to the hotel to call Nick. As it turned out, I had no patience now that I’d decided we were going to talk, and I pulled my phone out of my pocket before I’d stepped into the warm late spring air.

Nick’s ring back tone had once been one of my favorite songs, but after listening to it play out repeatedly, I hated it. I never wanted to hear it again. I cursed and stuffed the phone back in my pocket.

I stumbled as the phone started ringing a few minutes later. I’d pretty much resigned myself to not hearing from him yet again tonight.

“Hey,” I answered, trying to play it cool so he didn’t pick up on the storm of emotions running through my mind.

“Hey, yourself,” he responded. “Sorry I didn’t answer earlier. The game wound up going long.”

“Did you at least win?” I asked. His mood fluctuated wildly depending on how the game had gone. I couldn’t imagine being a pitcher, knowing he could do everything necessary to put his team on the path to winning, only to sit in the clubhouse and watch the relievers fuck it all up.

“Yeah, we won.” If I closed my eyes, I could almost see the smile that matched his chipper tone. Maybe things were looking up on his end and he wasn’t convinced he was doomed for the season. “But then, I turned on my phone on the bus and listened your message. That was a bit of a buzzkill.”

“Yeah, I’m sorry about that.” And I was. I should’ve talked to Drew before getting pissy with Nick. My entire perspective had changed in the past hour.

“No need to apologize,” he told me. “I’m glad you’re not trying to pretend like everything’s fine when it’s not. I was beginning to think I was the only one who’s miserable.”

My sarcastic huff of laughter echoed off the buildings around me. I glanced around, trying to figure out where I was. I thought the hotel was a straight shot from the bar, but somehow I’d gotten turned around. I hoped my GPS would still work while I was on the phone. I didn’t want to stop talking to Nick now that we’d connected, but I also wasn’t fond of being lost in an unfamiliar city. “Hang on.”

I typed in the name of the hotel and said a prayer as I waited for the map to appear. Nick was saying something to me, but I couldn’t make out his words. The icon started flashing and the route appeared. Thank God.

“Sorry about that,” I apologized. “I’m walking back from the bar and needed to figure out where I was going.”

“Why are you walking alone?” Nick hissed. While I missed the hell out of him, moments like this made me wonder if he’d be this overprotective if we were in the same city. “You told me you weren’t going to wander by yourself anymore.”

Our first real fight had happened early in the season, when I’d admitted to him that I was spending the day before a night game roaming around Charlotte with my camera. He hated the idea of me wandering around on my own, but sometimes I needed time to myself. Unlike the players, I wasn’t used to being surrounded by a ton of people. Plus, I still had my final photo essay to turn in and I was running out of time. I’d started chronicling my travels with the Mavericks, because my original idea to use Nick’s rise through the ranks had fallen through. I would still complete it, but I hadn’t factored in the uncertainty he faced and I was on a deadline.

“No, if you remember, I told you I’d be smart about it,” I corrected him. No matter how many times he’d tried to get me to promise I wouldn’t do it at all, that was something I wasn’t willing to offer because it’d be a broken promise. “Anyway, there were no cabs outside the bar and I wasn’t going to stand around waiting for one. I can see the front of the hotel now.”

We made idle chitchat until I made it into the hotel. I thought I’d lost him on the elevator ride up to my room, but he was still there when I stepped into the hall. After a quick check to make sure Billy, the equipment manager, was still wherever he disappeared to whenever we weren’t at the park, I flopped back on my bed.

“I am sorry about earlier,” I repeated, wondering how much time we’d have to talk. If they were hitting the road tonight, he’d have time to talk, but not about anything important. He didn’t like talking about personal business when he was on the bus in case someone overheard.

“It’s fine, really,” he assured me. “I know it sucks. And I’m sorry if I’ve been a shitty boyfriend. Sean and I had a long talk a while back and I’ve been trying to keep my head in the game.”

“I understand. After I left you that message, I had a long talk with Drew,” I confessed. “I hope you don’t mind, but he could tell something was wrong.”

“Babe.” Nick sighed and I worried that he was upset. He knew how close Drew and I were, so I hoped he’d get over it quickly. “I hate how hard this is on you. If you decide it’s all too much, I’ll understand.”

“No!” I shot up quickly enough I almost rolled off the side of the bed. “I mean, yeah, it’s hard, but I’m not throwing in the towel. Drew admitted to me that he and the guys have had their fair share of issues, too. It made me feel better, like it confirmed we’re not the only people who can’t just go with the flow. I meant it when I said I loved you and we’d figure this out.”

There was an audible sigh of relief from the other end of the line. “Good. You seriously had me freaking out.”

I almost apologized again, but held my tongue because he hated it when I got excessively apologetic. The night we’d met, he actually told me that if I kept apologizing, he wasn’t going to believe I meant it. “Are you guys staying at the hotel tonight?”

“No, we’re on the road already.”

“Oh, okay.” We needed to talk, but I wasn’t going to pressure him to talk while he was surrounded by his teammates.

“Why? What’s going on?” he prodded when I got quiet.

“It can wait,” I told him, even though I was nearly frantic to figure out a concrete time we could see each other again.

“Don’t do that,” he groaned. “Just say it, otherwise I’m not going to be able to relax and I’ll make everyone miserable.”

That was entirely possible. After his last review with the pitching coach, he admitted he’d been told it wasn’t his arm holding him back. So, in a way, talking now would keep him from turning into a moody prick again.

“I just wanted to see if you want to plan a little getaway for the All-Star break.” There was a chance he’d want to see his family, but I still threw the idea out there. If he did want to spend the break with his parents and his sister, we’d figure out when we could be together. The important part was making sure he knew I was thinking about seeing him again. “I know it’s not long, but when Drew and I were talking, he suggested driving up north and renting a cabin.”

That was about the only logical solution since my house would turn into a huge fuck-fest with Drew being home, and he lived with his parents. Then again, it’d serve the guys right if we tried to out-scream them for a few days.

“Yeah, I think that’s a perfect idea,” he responded without any hesitation. He sounded genuinely excited. “Would you be willing to find a place? I know you’re busy, too, but you have more downtime than I do.”

I quickly told him it wouldn’t be an issue for me to handle all the arrangements as long as he showed up. With that out of the way and the tension between us broken, we moved on to other topics. By the time we hung up, it was almost two in the morning and he was safely at his hotel in Rochester. Both of us promised we’d try to get better about finding time to talk, even if it was just a minute or two a day. I switched out the light and rolled over, feeling like I’d finally be able to get a decent night of sleep.

T
he crabby
old man seated next to me on the plane glared at me from the moment we began taxiing the runway until he finally fell asleep around the time we reached cruising altitude. Apparently, he wasn’t a fan of the way I was fidgeting in my seat. I couldn’t help it. It’d been three months since I’d seen Cody, and as soon as the plane landed, we’d have a few days to ourselves.

I’d expected my mom to be upset that I wasn’t coming home until the end of the break, but once I told her I was spending time with my boyfriend, she shut right up. She’d asked me about him every time we’d talked and was getting antsy to meet him. Even though she was supportive and happy for me, the thought of bringing Cody home to meet my mom and sister made me want to hurl. It was something I’d actually convinced myself I’d never have to do. But I would. After I spent time reacquainting myself with Cody’s body.

“Ladies and gentlemen, the pilot has turned on the fasten seat belt sign. Please raise your tray tables and return your seats to the upright position in preparation for landing.” I’d never been as happy for the flight attendant’s speech as I was knowing I’d be back in Milwaukee soon.

The air was steamy when I stepped out of the cool terminal. I glanced up and down the line of cars waiting in passenger pickup, but didn’t see Cody anywhere. The sound of a car with no exhaust caught my attention and I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. I shook my head as Cody parked directly in front of me.

“I can’t believe you still have that thing,” I said in disbelief as he rounded the back of the car and took my bags. “I’m perfectly capable of getting my own stuff into the car.”

“I know, but we need to hurry. Get in.” He jiggled the key in the lock long enough I wondered if he was going to get the trunk open. By the time he folded himself into the driver’s seat, sweat was beading down his face.

“How has this car not fallen apart yet?” I asked as he wrestled with the seat belt. We were going to have a talk about his car situation, because no way in hell was I going to have him riding around in a death trap when I had a perfectly good car sitting in the garage at my parents’ house. The Corolla was fun when we were younger, and I could admit it made me all warm and fuzzy to know he still had the car, but it was a hazard to Cody and everyone else on the road. Seriously, it had duct tape holding the mirror on the driver’s side, there was no mirror on the passenger’s side, and I wasn’t sure the seat belts were anything more than cosmetic.

The only reason I wasn’t freaking about him not having replaced the car was because it was a piece of our history. It’d been a “gift” to him the spring we met because Mason got sick of never having his own car available because Cody kept borrowing it.

“Oh, come on,” he scoffed. “It’s not that bad. The engine is still sound and it gets good gas mileage.”

“And they let you park this pile of crap in the employee lot?”

Cody leaned forward and patted the dashboard. “He doesn’t mean it,” he cooed softly. “You’re a good car.”

He glared at me, silently daring me to challenge his statement. All I could do was laugh. He had this sly grin on his face and I nearly choked up, overwhelmed because he was really here.

“Get off at the next exit,” I told him. No way in hell was I going to wait any longer than I had to to kiss him. We’d talked about it a few times and both agreed it’d be for the best if we kept our hands to ourselves out in public, but private was too far away for my liking.

Cody followed my directions as I led him deep into a residential area. Being the middle of the day, I doubted many people would be home. And if they were, I doubted they’d be peeking out through their windows trying to catch a glimpse of two guys kissing. If anyone was snooping around and got pissed off about it, that was their problem.

Cody parked at the end of the street. I reached over and slid my hand along his jaw. His breath ghosted over my forearm as he exhaled a contented sigh.

“God, I’ve missed you so fucking much,” I told him as I closed the distance between us. I only allowed my lips to lightly brush against his, knowing anything more would lead to activities that could get both of us arrested. But tonight…tonight was a different story.

“Mmm,” he sighed. His arm slid under mine and around to the middle of my back. Cody buried his head in my shoulder and inhaled deeply. “And you still love me, right?”

I stiffened, knowing I wasn’t going to like whatever was coming. There was no reason for him to ask that question, unless he was trying to subtly remind me whatever he had to say was okay because we loved one another.

“Yes, why?” I asked. He pulled back and began chewing on the corner of his fingernail. I smacked his hand away from his face. Not only was it a nasty habit, but if he kept up, he’d wind up bitching about how much it hurt when he’d chewed down to the quick. “Cody, what did you do?”

He hesitated before answering, another sure sign I wasn’t going to like what he had to say. “Okay, so you know how we talked about going up to Door County for the break and ignoring everything but each other?”

“Yes…” I responded, wishing he’d talk faster. We were wasting time and I wanted to get to the cabin in the middle of nowhere he’d promised me, because I had plans for Cody, and none of them included him wearing a stitch of clothing.

“Okay, let me preface this by saying we are still going up there,” Cody said in a rush. “But when I told you we’d go away, I forgot Mason and Sean were going to be coming back for a few days.”

“Yeah, and?” I was getting annoyed. I didn’t want to think about Sean, because that made me think about heading back to fucking Pennsylvania in a few days, where I wouldn’t see Cody again until God knew when.

“Well, they’re coming back for the All-Star cookout Eric hosts every year,” he informed me, as if that made any sort of difference to me. “I told them we weren’t going to be there, but Sean asked me if we could delay our trip by a day.”

“And you said yes?” I couldn’t fucking believe this. As it was, I had four days off, not including travel time. If I was considering blowing off my own family, I sure as shit didn’t want to hang around with major league players who were actually happy about not being selected for the All-Star game. To me, that was a completely foreign concept. My head fell back against the headrest and I groaned. “Why would you do that?”

“I know you wanted to get away, but Sean pushed me to try and convince you. And then Jason and Drew ganged up on me, telling me it’d be a good thing for you to be there. What was I supposed to do?”

“Tell them if they wanted me there, someone should’ve gotten off his ass sooner so I wasn’t living four states away?” I scoffed.

Cody rested his hand on my knee. Normally, I loved it when he wanted to be close to me, but with me being pissed off, his touch felt almost patronizing. “Babe, you know they’re doing everything they can. No one can magically make a roster spot open up.”

“Yeah, I do know that,” I spat. “Like everyone keeps telling me, it’s all part of the fucking game. Well, you know what? I’m starting to get really damn sick of the game. Because that’s all this is. It’s not a game of baseball, it’s more like a master’s round of chess. Everyone’s looking two or more moves ahead, rather than paying attention to what’s there in the moment.”

“Babe, I know you’re frustrated, but try to be logical,” he said softly. He meant well, but I wanted to fucking shake him. He was supposed to be pissed off for me, not trying to get me to sit back and watch position players get called up while I rotted away in the bullpen.

“Don’t tell me to be logical,” I demanded. “I’ve been logical. I’ve tried to keep my head in the game. I’ve busted my ass. I’ve done every damn thing they’ve asked of me and it hasn’t done me a damn bit of good.” I doubled over and twisted my fingers through my hair. “Fuck, I’m sorry. See, this is what you’ve been missing with me being out there. I’m a fucking wreck. I’m pissed off at everyone and everything, but I can’t fucking get over it.”

“I get it,” Cody soothed me. “Everyone knows how hard you’re working to earn your way up to the Bigs. But it takes time. And I’d be willing to bet you’d realize you’re not the only one frustrated about the lack of progress if you sit down and talk to Sean. He does want you in Dubuque. I know he does.”

“Yeah, well we can’t always get what we want, can we?”

“No, but if you try sometimes, you just might get what you need,” Cody mocked. I gaped at him and we both broke out in hysterical laughter. “God, that was bad.”

I raised his hand to my lips. “Yeah, but it really was what I needed.”

“So, you’re okay with this?” Cody asked as he put the car into gear and pulled away from the curb. The transmission slipped, which reminded me how irritated I was that he hadn’t junked this damn car. As he waited for my answer, a plan formed in my mind.

“We’ll go,” I told him. “But on one condition.”

“Name it,” he responded, a trace of relief in his voice that I wasn’t pissed off at him. I had a feeling he wasn’t going to like my terms.

“Before I fly out, we’re going to my parents’ house,” I informed him. “And I’m going to have Eric drop us off so you can drive my car while I’m gone.”

“Nick, I told you there’s nothing wrong with my car,” he argued. I wondered if he was that dumb when it came to auto mechanics or if he was trying to ignore the obvious issues. “I mean, it doesn’t look the best, but it runs.”

“But you don’t have to drive it,” I insisted. “I already have to worry about you getting mugged when you’re out wandering around paying attention to framing the next perfect picture; I don’t want to have to worry about you breaking down on the side of the road, too.”

“Aww, you do love me,” Cody teased. A little old lady whipped around us as Cody’s car slowly sped up on the freeway. I pointed to her, mocking him for getting passed by someone who was at least four times his age. “Fine. If it’ll make you happy, I’ll drive your damn car. But I’m not getting rid of this one. I can’t waste my money on a new car right now. I’m trying to save up to get a place of my own.”

If I could just catch a break, Cody wouldn’t need to worry about things like that. If I could find my way to Milwaukee, I could bank away a bit of money to get us through the off-season. At this point, I wasn’t even going to be greedy; league minimum players made more per game than we did in an entire month, not including the per-diem for meals. We’d be set for a while if I got called up for a few games and were smart with the money.

“I’m not telling you to drop it off at the junkyard,” I assured him, even though that was exactly where I thought it belonged. “But it makes no sense for you to drive that when I have a perfectly decent car just sitting there.”

“What happens when you get called up to Dubuque?” Cody made a valid point. I had planned on getting to Milwaukee as soon as I could so I’d have a car down there. Not only would that give me freedom to meet up with Cody whenever it worked out with our schedules, but I could pad my pathetic salary by letting my teammates fill my tank in exchange for rides.

“There’s no guarantee I’ll move up this year,” I pointed out. I wasn’t backing down about the car situation.

“You don’t know that,” Cody countered. We could go back and forth about my chances of being called up all night, so I let it drop. Besides, he was right. We didn’t know.

“We’ll figure that out when it happens,” I told him. “Besides, even then it’d make more sense for you to have the car than me. You have to drive every day, and since you have a little more freedom in your schedule, you’ll likely be the one doing the bulk of the driving. I’m not having you drive this across the state to see me.”

“Fine, I’ll drive the damn car,” Cody grumbled. Good.

The driveway was packed by the time we pulled up in front of Eric’s massive lake house. When I opened the door, I could smell Lake Michigan in the distance. I’d never really thought about it before, but it was a scent I associated with home. It was lacking the tang of pollution from my childhood, but I’d always spent every minute I could at the beach when I wasn’t on the ball field.

“You sure you’re ready for this?” Cody asked as he laced his fingers with mine. I stiffened momentarily before remembering this was my safe place. It might not be their home in Arizona, but it was all the same guys who made me realize it was okay to be a gay ball player. I drew Cody closer to me and kissed him. His body relaxed against mine and his lips parted on an inaudible sigh. I took the opportunity to deepen the kiss, loving the fact that he tasted like the berry slushy he’d been sipping on the entire drive home.

“Now I’m ready,” I told him when we parted. “How long did you tell them we’d stick around?”

“I didn’t promise anything,” he insisted. “All I said was I’d see if I could get you to stop by on your way to Door County.”

“Good, because I’m not in the mood to play nice.”

Cody slid his arm around my waist and pressed into my side. “And I love it when you want to be naughty.”

My dick twitched. If he planned on taunting me all night, I was going to have to figure out how to get even with him. No way in hell could I socialize with the guys I hoped to call teammates if I was worried about trying to hide my stiffie all night. Prick.