Sweet Reunion (33 page)

Bernie, for all his harmless quirkiness, was the cause
of her current frustration, which was rapidly devolving into despair. She
seemed to be getting nowhere in her conversation with him, and it was beginning
to tie her shoulders and stomach up in knots.

“I don't know what to tell you, Bernie, I think I've
expressed this as many ways as I know how. I just feel like I need to do this
in order to return to the kind of music that's me. Something more stripped
down. Just instruments and my voice, and songs that I write...”

“You write your songs!” Bernie protested, interrupting
her.

“Bernie!” she let out a frustrated laugh, “I don't
know whether to take issue with the accuracy of the word 'write' or 'songs' in
that sentence! I mean, I make up cutesy little rhyming phrases and set them to
catchy, hooky melodies, but it's not what I would consider actual songwriting!”

Her face took on a sarcastically cheerful expression
as she snapped her fingers and bopped her head, singing,

“I was thinking maybe

You'd be my baby

Feeling's right

Come out tonight

With a kiss, you could save me...”

Bernie looked confused, “I don't recognize that one,
is that one of yours?”

Karina cried, exasperated, “Bernie! I just made up
that nonsense off the top of my head, are you kidding me?”

Bernie smiled widely and spread his hands in front of
him, palms up, “What did I tell you, sweetheart? You have a gift! You should
jot that one down, I smell top ten single...”

“The fact that you couldn't tell the difference
between that off-the-cuff idiocy and one of my actual 'songs' actually explains
my predicament better than I can.” Karina shot back.

Bernie sighed and looked out the window himself.
Karina could tell he was getting exasperated. He had always made a point, when
dealing with Karina, of cajoling her into doing things she didn't want to do in
a cheerful and non-confrontational manner. Karina had, by and large, been
compliant – often she would protest initially, but ultimately give in to what
Bernie thought was best. After all, he was an extremely savvy manager. He had
taken her from being a virtual unknown to being a mega superstar in the course
of only one year, the first year after he had taken her on as a client. And, in
a feat that was actually much
more
impressive in the fickle world of pop
music, he had kept her on top – throughout all the changing trends of not only
the music scene but the music industry, when many artists were crash landing or
throwing in the towel, Bernie had kept Karina's career consistently growing and
thriving. And she was grateful – good
God
, was she grateful – but she
had to be true to herself now.

Bernie sighed deeply and shifted his gaze to the table
top, “What you are talking about is the complete destruction of the brand that
we've spent years building, polishing, perfecting, protecting...after all we've
been through...”

Karina put her hand on top of his. With tears in her
eyes, she said, “Bernie, look. This isn't personal. It was your acumen that got
me to where I am today. Both your intellect and your instincts are brilliant,
almost frighteningly so. This is not about me not trusting you. This is about
me reaching a point where I have no choice but to follow my heart. The persona
you built for me, it's not bad. It would fit a lot of people. But it's so far
from who I actually am.

“I feel like that old Ben Folds line, 'I juggle one-handed,
do some magic tricks, and the best imitation of myself.'  That's what my life
has been distilled to. If I'm with another person, any other person, I'm
performing. I am constantly 'in character' as Karina Black.

“If I continue down this road of pretending, of being
fake literally
ALL
of the time – I feel in danger of losing who I
actually am, and I am so scared I would never be able to get it back, not
fully. Can you understand that?”

Bernie shook his head. “Not really, to be honest. My game
is business. My tools are numbers. I'm not about the emotions of a thing. But I
respect you, sweetheart, and I respect your decision.”

Karina sighed a little in relief, “Thanks, Bernie. I
just really need to be here right now. I need to be with my grandmother, I need
to be with the tribe, I need to be with my friends. I need to find me again.
The real me.”

Bernie shook his head, “If that's what you need to do,
that's what you need to do. But don't make the mistake of thinking that the
label is going to take so kindly to your transformation. You're talking about a
complete, total, top-down rebranding effort...”

Karina interrupted, with what she hoped was a charmingly
bright smile, “See? You say REbranding, but I like to think of it as
UNbranding...just stripping away all the adornments, and what you're left with
is me...”

Bernie barked out a cynical laugh, “You call it what
you want, sweetheart. But the label has put millions of marketing dollars into
creating and maintaining the Karina Black brand, and they're not going to take
so kindly to you wanting to just toss it out like yesterday's garbage.”

Karina's lips set in a grim line, “Bottom line it for
me, Bernie. What are we looking at? They won't support the albums?”

Bernie shrugged, “You'll be lucky if they don't sue
you.”

Karina's jaw dropped, and she sat back against her
chair, “Is that a serious possibility?”

Bernie chewed worriedly on the end of his unlit cigar,
“Nah. I don't think it is. It would frame them as the big evil enemy in your
fans' mind, which would hurt sales of your back catalog.”

Karina sighed, “OK, good...”

Bernie stopped her, “Not so fast, buttercup. Don't
make the mistake of thinking that they're going to make it easy for you,
either.”

“So, you think they'll stop supporting my albums? No
more tours, no more press?”

“I think they'll shelve your albums and refuse to
release them until you give them something they like. I think that when the
production costs aren't recouped by the album sales, because they never put the
record out, they'll bill you, which they are within their rights to do.” 

“They wouldn't!” Karina protested disbelievingly.

“Heh. If you piss them off enough, they will. And I
think that if you go ahead and pursue that course of action for the next 5 CDs
you're under contract to them for, that it's a real good way to burn through
your fortune. That's what I think.”

Karina slumped in her chair, defeated.

Bernie continued delicately, “I also think that if you
aren't getting paid, then I'm not getting paid. And what's the point of that?
If I wanted to spend all my time with someone who won't listen to my advice and
is costing me money, I'd retire and move back in with my wife.”

Karina looked up, tears of regret stinging her eyes
again “You gonna leave me, Bernie? The first time in eight years I stand up for
myself, and you're gonna leave me over it?”

Bernie twisted his unlit cigar around in his mouth and
stood, gathering his papers into his old, battered, leather briefcase. “Yeah,
yeah, don't get your panties in a bunch,” he said gruffly, “Let me talk to the
label and get their take. Who knows? Maybe they've been just been waiting with
bated breath for the next Joni Mitchell to waltz through their doors, and
you're the answer to their prayers. I'll call you next week.”

Karina smiled and stood up, hugging Bernie hard,
“You're the best, you know that, Bernie?” she said affectionately.

“Ha! If I was the best, I would have been able to talk
you out of career suicide, I guess I'm not the best. But I'll try.”

As Bernie shuffled out of Sue Ann's, Karina cheerfully
called out, “Bye, Bernie! Talk to you soon!” but his only response was a
backhanded wave, for which he didn't even turn his head to look at her.

“He loves me. I'm his favorite client,” Karina snarked
in a mock cheerful tone to her grandmother Renata and her good friend Amanda as
they settled into the seats across the table from her, occupying the space that
Bernie had just vacated. Karina looked across the table at her loved ones –
Amanda, with her unruly blonde curls and wide, innocent blue eyes, accompanied
by her Grandmother, with her long salt-and pepper braid and ramrod straight
bearing. Merely the sight of them made her feel more centered and secure.

“That didn't sound like it went very well,” Amanda
said sympathetically. Karina had enlisted both Amanda and her grandmother to
sit at an adjacent table and eavesdrop on the conversation so that she could
get their take on it.

Karina shrugged, “Not ideal, but much better than how
it could have gone. It could have been a bloodbath.”

Renata nodded solemnly, “I particularly liked the part
where you assured him that you want to spend more time at home with me, and
settle down with a good boy from the tribe. He needs to know how important your
community is to you.”

“Rewind,” Karina said, spinning her fingers back
toward herself quickly to illustrate the concept, “I said I wanted to hang out
and spend more time with you and the tribe. I think the 'nice boy' bit was
creative editing on your part.”

“We'll see,” replied Renata, unfazed.

“I just need to focus on my music right now, Grandmother,”
Karina said pragmatically, “I don't have room in my heart, or in my schedule,
for any kind of romantic entanglements.”

In an attempt to get the conversation back on track
before this oft-discussed topic between Renata and Karina could veer into, what
Amanda knew from experience was a well-worn and lengthy argument, she
interjected, “I just think it's good that he ended it on a positive note!”

Karina nodded quickly, “I did too. At least he's going
to try and pitch the label. How successful he'll be is anyone's guess. But, as
Bernie so correctly pointed out, he doesn't make money unless I make money. So
I do know he'll try.”

Just then Sue Ann Perkins, the owner and proprietress
of Sue Ann's Cafe, bustled up to their table with a carafe of coffee, refilling
their mugs.

“Hot pot, coming through!” Sue Ann called cheerfully.

The three women greeted her warmly. Sue Ann was a
longtime fixture in Hope Falls, someone that Karina and Amanda had known since
they were born. She was a cheerful woman with springy grey hair and
delicate-looking glasses that she wore on a chain around her neck. She always
dressed in some variation of a floral skirt/button-down shirt/matching cardigan
ensemble. Best of all, she always greeted the patrons of her shop like they
were long lost friends, even if they had just been in earlier in the day. She
was one of the many, many things that made Karina feel like Hope Falls wasn't
just her hometown, it was her
HOME
.

Renata said, “Did your grandson ever come for a visit,
to help you here? I don't like the idea of you being all alone here, doing all
the work.”

Sue Ann said, “Oh, my, yes! He's been here for a week
already! Let me get him, I'd love to introduce you!”

She walked back toward the kitchen, calling, “Ryan,
honey, come out and meet some people!”

Karina smiled, “That's sweet that her grandson came
out to help her. I wonder if his parents let him fly alone?”

Just then, a gorgeous specimen of a man walked out of
the kitchen's swinging double doors, causing Karina to catch her breath. He was
tall and suntanned, with golden blonde hair and soft, deep brown eyes. His
shoulders were broad and his arms well-muscled, and the fit of his jeans told
her that his arms weren't the only things about him that were well-proportioned
and perfectly shaped. This man looked like a Greek god in cowboy boots!

Amanda leaned over to Karina, “Gee, Kar, I don't think
his parents need to accompany him for much of anything anymore! And, by the
way, you may want to pick your jaw up off the floor before he gets over here.”

This snapped Karina out of her trance somewhat, and
she shook her shoulders a bit to bring herself the rest of the way back to
reality. To her surprise, it only partially worked. She still felt as if the
room around her were actually a dream state, as if she were suddenly in the
middle of in a world that wasn't real.

This doesn't happen to you, she told herself
furiously, snap out of it! Sure, you see a hot guy and get the hormone-fueled
rush of attraction, but that is limited to heat of the I-Wanna-Bone-You
variety. You do NOT, under any circumstance, get twitterpated! EVER! So knock
it off!

Karina's stern lecture to herself had very little
effect – if anything, she was even more dumbstruck when Sue Ann and her grandson
arrived at their table.

Sue Ann, with obvious familial pride, said, “I'd like
to introduce you Ryan Perkins, my grandson. He'll be around for a while. He's
come out here from Montana to help me run the place, and I just couldn't be
more tickled about it!”

Ryan laughed, obviously embarrassed, “Thanks, Grandma.
It's really no big deal.”

Karina felt another wave of lightheadedness hit her
when he laughed, and the most adorable dimple appeared in his right cheek. She
actually had to consciously stop her arm from raising up of its own accord so
that she could brush her fingers over it.

Sue Ann laughed proudly, “Oh, you stop! It's a big
deal! Ryan, this is Mrs. Blackstone and her granddaughter Karina, and this is
Amanda Jacobs.”

Each of the women in turn shook Ryan's hand. As
Karina's turn approached, and she anticipated the feel of Ryan's hand in hers,
her heart began to beat faster in anticipation, and her cheeks began to flush.
When she put her hand out to shake Ryan's, she saw that it was trembling slightly.

What is wrong with me, she thought wonderingly. This
is crazy!

When the skin of Ryan's palm touched hers and she felt
the strong pressure of his fingers on her wrist, a jolt of electricity shot up
her arm, so powerful that it existed in a delicious limbo between pleasure and
pain.