Sweet Evil (13 page)

Inside, we stood in a large room that smelled of sweet earth and cedar. The walls were draped in handmade blankets woven with intricate designs and patterns. Tables around the room displayed colorful jewelry. In the corner stood an antique drink cooler that must have been fifty years old.

A couple sat at a small table to the side. An old man and woman with matching skin the rich color of the soil, both with long black-and-gray hair pulled back from their faces. They greeted us with friendly nods and smiles.

I went to their table and watched them work for a moment. She was stringing tiny beads into a bracelet by hand, creating an elaborate motif. He was carving a chunk of wood. I could make out the hind legs of a horse. Amazing. They made the art look easy in their experienced hands.

I walked around the store. Hundreds of wooden animals of all sizes stared back at us from the walls. Wolves and coyotes seemed to be the most popular. Kaidan examined an eagle with its wings spread.

“Incredible detail,” he said. His appreciation made me glad, since he didn’t show much admiration for humans, in general.

I ran my fingers over a coarse throw blanket as I moved around the room, and then spotted a table full of turquoise and amber jewelry. I went over and touched several of the smooth stones.

A delicate, dainty necklace caught my attention, made of silver with a turquoise charm naturally in the form of a misshapen heart. It was one of the prettiest things I’d ever seen. I looked at the price tag and balked. It would have cost me all the money I’d brought. I was sure it was worth that much, but still. I set it back down.

“See anything you like?” Kaidan asked. I hadn’t heard him walk over.

“Yeah. It’s all beautiful, isn’t it?”

“Can I... get you something?”

A rush of heat flowed to my face from the surprise of his offer. I kept my eyes on the table.

“Oh. No. I don’t need anything, but thank you.”

He stood so close that my shoulder touched his chest and I was afraid he could hear my galloping heart.

“I guess we’d better get back on the road,” I said.

“Yes.”

I turned to the kind couple and thanked them. They both nodded in their quiet way. Kaidan pointed to the drink cooler as we were leaving.

“I’ll get us drinks so we don’t have to stop again for a while,” he said, handing me the keys.

I squinted as I walked back out, cupping my hands above my eyes. I could hardly see, it was so bright. We hadn’t been in the store very long, but the inside of the vehicle was already ablaze with heat. I started the engine and cranked up the AC. As I sat in the hot car with the air blasting, I watched the woman weaving outside and wondered how many demon whisperers were involved in the trampling of Native American cultures throughout history.

The stride of Kaidan’s tanned legs in his baggy skater shorts shook me out of my reverie. He climbed in and put the cold drinks in the cup holders.

“New Mexico is my favorite state,” I declared as we pulled onto I-40.

“I’m waiting to see it all before I decide. And by the way, your driving isn’t half-bad. I expected to be terrified.”

“Why?”

“I imagined a timid, overly cautious little angel, but you’ve got an impressive lead foot.”

Whoops
.

“Your car drives so quietly,” I said, “I don’t realize how fast I’m going. I’ll set the cruise control from now on.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll keep an ear out for cops,” he told me.

“Will we be passing the Grand Canyon?” I asked. “I’ve always wanted to see it.”

Kaidan pulled out the map and studied it.

“It’s a bit out of the way, more than an hour. But how about this? We can go on the way back, since we won’t have a time crunch.”

I didn’t know if it was the desert air or what, but I felt at ease. I still had a thousand questions for Kaidan, but I wasn’t in the mood for another heavy conversation just yet. I liked talking to him. We were still guarded, and it wasn’t nearly as carefree as talking with Jay, but I was beginning to imagine keeping Kaidan in my life as a friend after this trip. Time would help us forget the kiss. My crush on him would fade. If I could stop analyzing every touch and every look, then maybe it could work. I vowed to myself at that moment: No more jealousy. No more flirting. No more lustful longing for the elusive Kaidan Rowe.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

L
AUGHTER

A
rizona was battling it out with New Mexico to win the title of favorite state, with more breathtaking red mountain views. At one point, the road seemed to be carved straight through a crack between two high mountains. Steep inclines surrounded us on both sides, and foreboding signs warned of rockslides, as if there were anywhere to escape. I stared out the window in awe as I drove.

There was one thing I had to do while we were in the Southwest.

“Do you like Mexican food?” I asked.

“There aren’t many foods I don’t like.”

I should have guessed. I was confident I could find a perfect place to eat when we pulled into a town near Flagstaff that afternoon. I bypassed busy chain restaurants until I found what I was looking for: a quaint hole-in-the-wall place like the one I frequented with Patti back home.

“Interesting choice,” Kaidan said.

“Trust me.”

My mouth watered at the scents of chilies and fried corn inside. One wall was painted with a mural of a Latina dancing woman, a colorful skirt flowing around her. Mariachi music was twanging overhead.

A hostess led us to a private booth with high backs and a brick archway at the end. A boy brought hot tortilla chips and a bowl of salsa.

I closed my eyes for a quick blessing and opened them to find Kaidan watching me, a chip loaded with salsa in his hand.

“Do you do that at every meal?”

“Yeah.” I took a chip and dunked it. “And every night before bed.”

We took our bites at the same time, and a second later both reached for our ice waters, eyes bulging.

“Hot!” I said, nearly sucking down the entire glass.

Kaidan laughed and wiped his forehead with his napkin. I should have known there’d be no wimpy mild stuff out here.

A waiter approached and we gave our orders.

“I didn’t see you pray either night,” Kaidan said after the man left.

“I don’t have to get on my knees or say it out loud. I just say it in my head while I lie there.”

He was contemplative as we munched on chips.

Our food came out superfast. Kaidan’s fajitas sizzled and gave off a steamy scent of cumin and sweet onion. We didn’t speak a word until we were finished, except when Kaidan said, “May I?” and skewered half of my shredded beef enchilada. When he finished, Kaidan threw his napkin down on the table in surrender.

“I promise to trust your choices from now on,” he said, stretching and patting his stomach.

I handed him the keys.

We had a great view of a snowcapped mountain range in the distance as we passed Flagstaff. There were trees again now, giant pines stretching upward.

My stomach knotted at a sign for California, and I counted down the mileage until Los Angeles. Kaidan must have noticed my crazy bouncing knee, because he attempted to distract me from my thoughts.

“You haven’t asked me any questions in ages,” he said.

“Let’s see. Okay. Basic Demonology 101. How does a demon get into a body?”

“Well, it’s difficult for two healthy souls to possess a body at once. A human soul can’t simply be shoved out of the way. I’m sure you’ve watched movies about exorcisms?”

“Heard of them, but never seen any.”

“Those stories are examples of possessions gone bad, usually some dissatisfied spirit whisperer who wants to stir up trouble. The demon soul and human soul fight over the body and the body wears down. It can get gory. Most often it ends in death.”

What a horrible way to go.

“Demons and angels both have free will, but rules still apply. Demons have been forbidden to physically harm humans, and that includes possessions. You with me so far?” I nodded, and he went on. “Dukes spend a lot of their time in hospitals and emergency rooms while they’re searching out a new body in their spirit form. When people are close to death and lose the will to live, the souls are just barely hanging on to their bodies, like a loose tooth. The Dukes can just pinch off the human soul and release it without protest, then enter the body before it dies and heal it with their powers. They heal much faster than us. They could share the bodies when the human souls are weak like that, but it hinders their powers within the body, so they prefer to be the only dwellers.”

“How do they decide who to pick?” I asked.

“That’s where it can get tricky. They seek out low-profile young or middle-aged people, preferably someone who isn’t surrounded by a big, doting family. It’s too much effort if there are humans who will search when the person disappears. Some Dukes want attractive bodies; some want to appear rougher. It can take a while to find a perfect match, but time doesn’t matter to them. Besides, the Dukes enjoy having an opportunity to whisper to humans while they’re hunting and waiting. A hospital is a perfect place to work, because emotions are already running high.”

“That’s disgusting,” I muttered.

“As far as life span,” he continued, “normal humans can live upward of one hundred and twenty years these days, but their life expectancy is lower because of health-related issues. Dukes and Neph don’t have those problems, so our bodies can make it that long. We’re not immune to aging, though. A body wears out, no matter how healthy it is. Dukes discard their bodies before they get to that point. Then it’s on to the next body and building a new false identity.”

“What happens when they leave the bodies?” I envisioned zombies.

“If no other soul was inhabiting it, the body appears to die of cardiac arrest.”

“Ah. I’ve been wondering about Nephilim souls. Are our souls half demon?”

Kaidan’s mouth lifted. “The questions you ask remind me of when I was a child. I asked the very same ones of my father.”

I tried to imagine young, inquisitive Kaidan looking up at the demon in his life, desperate for his attention. I wished I could hold that little boy.

“No,” he answered, “our souls are neither human nor demon. We Neph have our own unique souls, but as children of dark angels our souls are marked with demonic stains.”

I did not like the sound of that.

“I guess in your case you’ve got a bleached-out angel patch there, too,” he added.

Funny.

“There’s something else I’m confused about,” I said. “If I had a baby someday, would the childbirth kill me?”

“Yes, it would. Why? Are you thinking of conceiving?”

I gave his arm a little shove and he grinned, but he got serious again before answering.

“I’m not certain why, but nobody survives.”

I thought of my mother’s singing, and her love for me inside of her. She must have known she wouldn’t live to hold me, and yet she exuded pure joy.

“Were you able to sense your mother’s feelings when she was pregnant with you?” I asked him.

“Yes, I suppose because we were sharing a life source. I could sense moments of affection directed at me, even brief glimpses of love, but mostly she despaired. No doubt she was suffering from obsession with my father, but he saw her only as a vessel for his use. She was chosen for her beauty, and physical characteristics in her family that complemented his. When I was very small I asked him what happened to her and he said, ‘You killed her—shame, too. She was nice to look at.’”

He brought a hand up and ran his fingers through his hair, blocking my view of his face so I couldn’t see any hint of emotion that might have been there. I had a violent image of kicking Kaidan’s father in his prized lust parts. He cleared his throat and began again.

“My father has had one child in each life, all trained in music and manners, and highly educated.”

He stated the facts without any interest.

“Are any of them still living?”

“No.”

“You might have relatives out there. Maybe I do, too!”

“No, we don’t. Don’t get excited. There are no descendants.”

“Why not?” I asked.

“The details aren’t important.”

“They’re important to me.”

“Please, Ann, not right now. I’ll tell you everything later, just not right now. I’m not in the mood for your tears. It’s been a nice day.”

I didn’t want to be protected through ignorance. I hated that he thought I would cry, and hated even more that he was probably right. Kaidan pointed out the window at a sign. We were entering California.

I took a deep breath. I would go to the prison tomorrow and meet another of Lucifer’s Dukes. My own father.

What was the worst that could happen? If I prepared myself, then maybe it wouldn’t hurt as badly. He could refuse to see me. He could see me, but be hateful and rude and tell me never to come back. No matter what, I would be okay. I didn’t need him, I told myself. I needed information from him, yes. But I had Patti to give me love.

“Can I use your phone?” I asked.

He handed it to me, and I took out the paper with the number to the convent. A woman answered after three rings.

“Convent of Our Mother Mary, this is Sister Emily speaking.”

“Hello, Sister Emily, my name is Anna Whitt—”

“Ah, yes. Sister Ruth has been waiting for you, and try as I may, she will not relay a message of any sort. She insists on seeing you.”

Hope bubbled up inside me.

“That’s why I’m calling. I’m in California now. I want to come see her right away.”

“Unfortunately Sister Ruth has been in a comatose state for over twenty-four hours now. This isn’t the first time. She’s pulled herself out of it before, so we can only hope she’ll do it again.”

“Do you think maybe I can just come and sit with her?”

“Dear, we have someone sitting with her around the clock. Why don’t you give me a number where I can contact you, and I’ll let you know the moment she comes to—that is, if it’s okay with you.”

“Yes, please,” I said. “Please call me the very second she wakes up; I don’t care if it’s the middle of the night.”

I closed my eyes after hanging up.
Please don’t let her die yet.

“I’m curious about something,” Kaidan said.

“Yes?”

“Do you even feel the full temptations of sin, or are you just extremely self-controlled? Because even when I’ve seen you feeling dark emotions, it’s so brief.”

I thought about it. “Of course I feel temptation, but I’m really aware of it, so I can sort of squash most of the urges before they have time to register. Rules are meant to protect us, so I follow them. Something might feel good at the moment, but the consequences are scary.” I paused. “That sounds lame, doesn’t it?”

“Just... fascinating, is all. Have you never outright sinned, then?”

“I disobeyed Patti when she told me to stay away from you.”

“Right. I remember that one. So just once, then?”

“There was this other time....” I thought about the two girls in the bathroom and stopped myself, blanching.

“Yes? Go on,” he urged.

He watched the road, but excitement underscored his tone. I rubbed my dampening palms down my shorts.

“The night we met, I sort of... well, I flat-out told a lie. On purpose.”

I thought he was trying not to smile.

“To me?” he asked.

“No.
About
you.”

Now he unleashed that devastating smile of his, crinkling the corners of his eyes. My face was aflame.

“Continue. Please.”

“There were these girls in the bathroom talking about you, and for some reason, I don’t know why, it upset me, and I told them...
thatyouhadanSTD
.”

I covered my face in shame and he burst into laughter. I thought he might drive off the road.

Well, it
was
kind of funny in an ironic way, because he couldn’t keep a disease anyhow, even if he had gotten one. I found myself beginning to giggle, too, mostly out of relief that he wasn’t offended.

“I wondered if you were ever going to tell me!” he said through spurts of hilarity.

Duh! Of course he’d been listening! My giggles increased, and it felt so nice that we kept going until we were cracking up. It was the good kind of laughter: the soul-cleansing, ab-crunching, lose-control-of-yourself kind.

We started catching our breath again a few minutes later, only to break into another round of merriment.

“Do you forgive me, then?” I asked when we finally settled down and I wiped my eyes.

“Yes, yes. I’ve had worse said about me.”

We passed a billboard advertising gin. It made me think of Jay.

“Hey, remember when you said the Dukes have power to persuade people?” I asked. “Do we have those powers, too?”

“We call it the influence,” he said. “And no, it’s only the Dukes. Why?”

“There were a few times when it seemed like I mentally persuaded Jay not to drink, but I guess not.”

“No. Dukes have the ability to put an urge into a person by speaking a command out loud or even silently. But just like the whisperers, they can’t force it. The influence doesn’t work if the human is really strong and adamant against what the Duke tells them to do. It works best if the person is already inclined to go in that direction, but they’re sort of teetering on the edge of a decision.”

We watched the road now. I looked at Kaidan’s hand on the steering wheel, and just for fun I said in my mind,
Tap your finger on the wheel.

Tap, tap.
Oh, my gosh! He did it! I tried it again, and this time when he tapped the wheel I tittered. He didn’t even notice he was doing it.

“What’s up with you?” he asked.

“Are you
sure
it’s not possible for a Nephilim to have the influence?”

“I’ve never heard of anyone having it except a Duke, and trust me, I’ve tried. It doesn’t work.”

For twenty minutes Kaidan would periodically chuckle under his breath and shake his head. I kept grinning, too.

We were less than two hours away now.

“I know we’re going to be there soon, but I really need to go to the bathroom,” I said.

“Oh, all right. Loo stop.” He took the next exit and we both went into a convenience store. When I came out I saw the back of Kaidan as he was walking to the exit doors. I had a sudden urge to try my power of influence again.

Spin around!
I willed to his back. And to my utter disbelief, he spun midstride and then put his hand on the door handle to open it. He paused there for a moment, and then turned and looked at me with an incredulous, wide-eyed expression. I darted into the candy aisle and bent over laughing.