Sweet Beginning (10 page)

I haven't been sleeping real well these last couple of
weeks. I sit at my kitchen table drinking my coffee, before I go downstairs to
bake. I don't know why I am having such a hard time with Feb. fifth getting
closer. I want it to be over with, because I am tired of thinking about it. I
want this part of my life to be over done. But at the same time, I am scared to
close it. There is a lot of history between Kyle and me. But he is not the same
man I knew before. I know I was the one who asked for the divorce, but he
jumped in full force. I still can't believe he moved on so quickly, which has
me thinking, how long was he done with our marriage. 

I know I should have seen the signs and did something about
it. So, I can't blame Kyle for our marriage failing. It's easy to point
fingers, but not so easy to look at yourself in the wrong. I put all my energy
into the shop, the girls and not much into my marriage. When Kyle lost his job,
it was one of the hardest things in his life. I knew that I made enough that we
didn't have to worry about paying our bills. It was tight, but we managed. I
didn't think of how it made him feel. But he didn't talk to me about it either.

So when Kyle went back to work, he jumped in with both feet.
He moved up quickly and ended up loving his job. Instead of being there and
acknowledging what he was doing, I just didn't react. So when he wanted
attention, I guess he found it from someone else. Doesn't make it right, on
either of our parts.

I finish my coffee and put my mug in the sink. It's my
morning without the girls, so I figure I will go get a jump start on the
baking. Maybe keeping myself busy, will keep my mind off of Kyle and our failed
marriage.

~~~

Kyle's parents took the girls tonight and for the weekend. I
had called and asked them, being that tomorrow is our court date. I have hardly
talked to his parents since we decided on getting divorced. I will miss having
them in my life, I know they will be there if I ever need them. But it will
never be like it was before, divorce changes everything. No matter what people
want to say, Kyle is their son and I will be the ex-wife. 

My crazy cousin, Lynette called me earlier today. She had
run into Jaylah and heard that my divorce will be final tomorrow. She has it
all planned with Jaylah, to go out and celebrate. Lynette is always the life of
the party, so it should be a good time. I think after the stress of everything
I will definately need it.

I put water in the kettle to make myself some sleepytime
tea. When the kettle whistle's at me, I make my tea. I grab my mug and kindle.
I decide to try to relax and read until I fall asleep.

My alarm goes off, I hit it and groan. This is the first
time in a long time, that I have slept in. Jaylah refused to let me come in
today or the whole weekend. She said I need to focus on myself, just this once.
I wish sometimes, that she would take her own advice. But that is easier said
than done, for all of us. I roll over and stare at the ceiling. Wondering
again, how my life got to this point.

I don't like how quiet my apartment is. This is one thing
that I will never get use to. It was nice at first to have it, but the novelty
of it wears off quickly. There were days, I regretted ever opening my mouth
about wanting a divorce. But I have to shake myself and remember how things
really were. It's not worth being so unhappy, just so I am not alone. It's a
hard lesson to learn.

I have to be at the courthouse by 10am, so I have sometime
to get ready. I roll out of bed and hop into the shower. I take a longer than
normal shower, to help calm my nerves some. I already had my clothes layed out
that I was wearing. I get dressed, blow dry and style my hair. I have never
been one to spend a lot of time on my make-up, but I decide today I will. 

I don't have much of an appetite, so I decide to skip
breakfast. I have to go warm up my car and grab something from the shop. I
gather all my stuff and head outside to start my car. I come back in and walk
to the front of the shop. Thankfully we are at a down time, I am not up to
talking to anybody.

"Good morning, sunshine" Jaylah says to me, in way
of greeting. 

"Morning, I wouldn't call it good."  Jaylah nods
in agreement, but doesn't say anything else. "Hey I'm sorry. I'm a little
crabby about everything. I came to get a coffee before I leave."

"Hey no reason to apologize. I will be thinking of
you."

I nod my head as I make my coffee.

"It will be ok, Anne." She comes around the
counter and gives me a hug. "You look beautiful. Way to show Kyle what an
asshat he is for giving you up so easily," she chuckles.

I laugh along with her, "Thanks, Jay. I don't know how
I'm going to get through the day. I feel so numb right now."

"I know its hard and you don't want to hear it again,
but you will be ok. Plus, don't forget we are going to have one kick ass time
tonight," she says, as she wiggles her ebrows.  She always knows how to
make me laugh, when I need it most.

"I am looking forward to it. We haven't gone out with
Lynette in so long. I am going to need some fun tonight. What time are you
going to pick me up?"

"Be ready by six, we are taking you out to dinner
first. Pack a bag, because I have a feeling, you are staying with me
tonight."

A customer walks in and I put a lid on my coffee. I snatch a
cookie, so I have something in my stomach. I wave goodbye to Jaylah and Amanda,
they both wish me luck. As I get into my car, my phone starts to ring. I look
to see it's dad.

"Hi dad."

"Hi, Honey. I wanted to wish you luck today."

"Thanks. I'm going to need it."

"If you need anything call me, ok."

"I will. Thanks again, dad. I love you."

"I love you to, honey."

I hear the click of the phone. It's getting late, I better
get going or I will be late. I take a deep breath and put the car into gear.

~~~

I park the car and sit for a minute. I try to steady my
nerves, by taking a few deep breaths. I look into the mirror, to check my
make-up and decide its fine.

"Ok, quit being a drama queen. People get divorced every
day." I say to myself. As I say this out loud, in my head I am yelling at
myself, "But it doesn't happen to ME every day."  I shake myself, and
get out of the car.

I walk into the courthouse and see my lawyer waving me over
to her. We greet each other and she starts to explain what is going to happen.
I see Kyle down the hall with his lawyer. He looks over at me and gives me a
weak smile. I can't get myself to smile back, I look back to my lawyer.

It may seem childish and I sound like a broken record. But,
I am still very hurt that he moved on so quickly. With Tessa of all people, and
for how long? Friends, my ass! He knew how it bothered me and he never broke
his relationship with her. Now, there is no mistaking where their realtionship
is.

My lawyer breaks me from my thoughts, to tell me it's time.
I hope I didn't miss anything too important, I hardly heard what she was
saying. Kyle and his lawyer walk in before us and we all take our seats. 

The judge comes in and we all stand. She tells us, we can
sit. I sit there watching the judges mouth move, but not really hearing what
she is saying. Our lawyers are doing all the talking with the judge. We aren't
fighting over anything and split it up evenly. I make more money than Kyle
right now, but he wasn't asking for any child support. We have joint custody,
with the girls staying with us equal amounts of time. So my lawyer, did say it
would be very easy divorce.

When the judge announced she approved our entry for final
judgement of dissolution.  I looked at her confused and sat there for a bit. My
lawyer says "Congratulations, Anne.  You are officially divorced. I will
have my office send you all the final paperwork, with the bill."

I give her a weak smile and shake her hand, "Thanks."
Congratulations, is probably not the word I would use for this.

"Your welcome, if you have any questions give me a
call."

I nod my head, still stunned by everything and get up to
leave. I watch my lawyer leave the courtroom. I walk into the hallway, someone
grabs my arm. I turn to see Kyle.

"Can I talk to you for a minute. Please."

"What do you want?"

"I wanted to apologize for Tessa. It was never planned,
you know. I never thought we would end up this way."

"You don't have to apologize to me. You obviously had a
back up plan for our marriage. We are done, you can do what ever you want, your
a big boy!"

I am so mad, I can't see straight. He looks at me hurt and
walks away shaking his head. I can't believe that he thinks that if he
apologizes, everything is ok. I don't want to fight with him, especially
because of the girls. But the wound is to fresh and an apology won't fix that.

I walk out to my car, and my stomach is churning. When I get
to my car, I am feeling sick. I hurry to the lawn and empty what little I have
in my stomach. Once in the car, I drink some cold coffee to get the taste out
of my mouth. I do feel better, but decide to go home and take a nap before
tonight.

I sit on the couch, waiting for Jaylah to pick me up. I'm
still numb from the morning events, yet glad that it is over. I am hoping that
after tonight, I can finally move on with my life. I want to enjoy my girls,
because they will grow up fast. I will put the rest of my focus into Sweet
Pleasures. I hear my phone go off that I a text.

Jaylah 6:02pm

i'm here, mama.....get ur ass down here

Anne 6:03pm

be there in a sec  

I take a deep breath, grab my overnight bag and head
downstairs. I really need this night, I plan to drink my saddness away. At
least I will have some peace, for a night.

~~~

We walk into the restaurant, every one is already there. I
hear Lynette before I see her, which makes me smile. Once we reach the back, I
see our group. I stop in my tracks, I can't believe how many of my friends
showed up for this. My eyes water with emotion, I am a lucky person.

 I look around and see Sue at the end sitting with Josie.
Seeing Sue reminds me of Wyatt. That is someone else I didn't need to be
thinking about tonight. Lynette jumps up from her seat, runs to me and give me
a huge hug.

"Hey cuz, how are ya?"

I feel everyone's eyes on me. I take a deep breath and with
my eyes closed, "I have been better." I sigh, open my eyes and look
around the table.

"Let's get this girl drunk, ladies!!" Lynette
yells, with a huge smile on her face.

"Thanks guys, I don't know what I would do without all
of you."

Jaylah nudges me to sit. I watch her walk to the bar and
order a round of shots. Everyone is looking over at me, I am not sure what to
say.

"Okay, bitches.  Lets get this party started."
Jaylah yells for everyone to hear. She raises her shot and everyone follows her
lead. "To Anne!"

"To Anne!" everyone says together.

I smile at all my friends and down my shot.

~~~

Wyatt

When Sue told me she was going out tonight to celebrate
Anne's divorce, I did a double take. I knew they knew each other, but I didn't
think they were that close. She explained that they were really good friends in
high school, but not as close after. Sue is best friends with Anne's cousin,
Lynette. She is the one that put this night together with Jaylah, so that is
how she was invited. 

Sue and I still get together at least once a week. But I
think she can feel that we aren't right for each other. We are having fun with
each other and filling that lonely void in our lives. It's still not a
comforting feeling at the end of the night. 

I decide I can't sit home tonight thinking about my
relationship with Sue. Plus, knowing that she is out with Anne, will make me
crazy. Her divorce is final now, which brings up other thoughts I don't want to
deal with right now. I think about her to much as it is.

I give my friend, Joe a call and he is having some guys over
to play poker. I am thankful that he tells me to come join them. Being new to
town, he is one of the few guys I have friended since I moved here. Most of the
people in this town all grew up together, they don't let outsiders in very
easily. It's hard feeling like an outsider, when I had so many friends back
home. But it helps when you are trying to start over. 

Being around new people, means you don't have to talk about
the past. They don't know Lynn and our history, so they aren't trying to cheer
me up. I know my friends back home meant well, but a guy can only take so much.
They were looking out for me, but I couldn't take it anymore. That's when I
decided to move.

I'm still not sure how I decided on moving to Richmond. I
was looking at a map one day and came across it. I looked it up on the internet
and researched job openings in the area. I went on the local papers website,
that's when I came across the opening at Tom's. I called him and set up an
interview. 

Without telling anyone what I was doing, I drove down for
the day. Tom and I hit off right away, he is a great guy. After having me
change out a starter, to make sure I knew what I was doing. He offered me the
job and said I could start as soon as possible. 

Tom had told me about the house Mr. Nolan had for rent.
Before I left the shop, Tom had called him and set-up for us to meet at the
house. Once I had directions, I went and met him. Things fell into place so
neatly, it was meant for me to move here.

I shake myself from my thoughts and get ready to go. I
decided on the way to Joe's I would stop and pick up a case of beer and snacks.
I am hoping this will be enough of a distraction from my thoughts. At least for
one night.

~~~

Anne

Ever since we got to Chap's, my hand hasn't been without a
drink. As soon as I finish one, someone is handing me another. We have done
shots a couple of times together as well.  I am definately feeling the
calmness, that alcohol provides.

I was thankful at dinner that no one suggested the Buffalo
Bar. I don't think I can go there for awhile. Chap's is another local bar, my
cousin Lynette, loves to go  here. She use to date the owner Mike, back in high
school. Lynette loves her husband Steve, but she likes to flirt as well. It's harmless,
playful flirting and she can do that with Mike. She started dating Steve in
high school, after Mike. They have one of the strongest marriages I have ever
seen. 

Jaylah grabs my arm as Lynette takes the drink from my hand.
They both drag me out to the dance floor. We are having so much fun out there
and I haven't thought about my troubles since we got here. One song ends and
another begins, we all keep dancing. 

I step off the dance floor to get a glass of water, to
quench my thirst. I walk past the stage to the ladies room and stop in my
tracks. Is that who I think it is? He looks at me and gets a sneer on his face.
I fill with such anger, I can't believe this asshole is here.

I look behind me and scan the dance floor. Thank god, Jaylah
is dancing with Sue and Lynette to one of her favorite songs, "Tootsie
Roll." She isn't looking in my direction and seen who has walked in.

I feel myself sober up some and walk up to Ben. "What
the FUCK do you think you are doing here, asshole!"

He actually has the audacity to look offended. "Why
Anne, why so hostile?"

"Don't play stupid with me. You are NOT allowed to be
anywhere near Jay and you FUCKING know it!"

He smiles at me, it actually looks evil. I shiver at the
mere look of him. I want to slap him across the face, my hand actually itches.
I wipe it on my pants to keep from doing it.

"I wanted to say hello to my Jaylah," he smirks.

"She is NOT your Jaylah, anymore."

"tsk, tsk... I heard your divorce is final," he
chuckles at my surprised expression.

"How...I mean, that's none of your business."

"All I wanted to do was make sure you are okay,"
he sneers at me.

I am sick to my stomach, how the hell did he know about my
divorce. I have to get rid of him before Jaylah sees him.

"Ben, if you don't leave right now I will call the
police," I say unsure of myself. How can he have such an affect on me.

He simply smiles at me for a moment. "Now Anne, no need
for that. Tell my love I miss her and that I am always here."

He turns around and leaves out the back door. I look back at
the dance floor, Jaylah is still dancing her heart out. I am so thankful she
didn't see Ben.  I run into the bathroom, and empty my stomach, for the second
time in one day.

When I get back to our table, Jaylah looks over at me with a
concerned look.  "Hey are you ok? You look like you've seen a ghost."

"Yeah, I'm fine. I got sick in the bathroom, that's
all."

She looks at me, not sure if she believes me. I look away
not wanting to give anything away. I look over to our friends and smile.

"I'm ready for another shot." I yell to the
bartender.

I am hoping that I can drown away what happened. I look down
at my hands and they are shaking. I rub them against my pants to get them to
stop. I am hoping nobody else notices how shakin I am.

~~~

My head is pounding, I slowly turn over. Oh man what a night
we had. After seeing Ben, it was a buzz kill for me. I still can't believe he
showed up there. I don't know how he knew about me and that we were there. I am
thankful that Jaylah wasn't with me. She doesn't need this shit from Ben. She
has enough on her plates with her parents. 

When I got back to our table, we all did some shots, then
more shots. I am so thankful that Jaylah didn't question me anymore about what
was bothering me. I figure she thought it was about Kyle and our divorce, at
least that's what I hope. 

We drank and danced all night, I didn't want it to end. I
haven't had that much fun since we all were in high school. We use to have the
best parties back then, with no worries.

Steve ended up picking all of us up. We all poured into
their mini-van and talked him into taking us out for breakfast. The poor guy
was stuck with us women, at the Coney Island. Actually, I don't think Steve
minded so much. We were there for over an hour and enjoyed our end to the
evening. We walked in to the house at around 5am, it was a long fun night.

I have no idea what time it is now, but I really don't want
to get up. If I didn't have to use the bathroom so bad, I wouldn't. I do my business
and decide I need to make coffee, then take some tylenol. I look at the clock
in the kitchen to see that it's one in the afternoon. Well at least I got
sleep, but I don't feel like I got much. 

I hear Jaylah walking around upstairs in her room. I wonder
how she feels, she drank more than me. She can handle her alcohol better than I
can, but still we drank alot. 

I decide to make some toast, while I wait for coffee. I hear
Jaylah coming down the stairs and she walks in the kitchen.

"Mmmm, you are a god send. The coffee smell woke me up.
How are you feeling?"

"I have a headache, but its getting better. How about
you?"

She looks at me and smiles, "I'm ok. I drank two large
glasses of water and took tylenol, before I went to bed."

I smile back, as I mentally kick myself for not doing the
same. "I should of done that, too. Oh well, what's a girl to do."  

We laugh together. I butter my toast and make a cup of
coffee, then sit at the kitchen table. As I am eating, Jaylah makes the same
for herself. When she is done, she comes and sits next to me. We eat in
silence.

"SO, do you think your dad can drive us to Chap's to
pick up my car?"

"I'm sure he can. He works until two on Saturdays. I
will give him a quick call."

She nods and takes a drink of her coffee. I can see she is
thinking of other things, but I decide better on pushing the subject. One thing
about Jaylah, she opens up when she is ready to, most of the time. I know when
its something big and can always get her to spill. But I can tell it's her going
over something in her head and I let her be.

I get up and go into the living room to grab my cell phone.
Once I find it in my purse, I call my dad.