Authors: Jessica Daniels
“HA!” Joey laughs
behind me and I want to turn around and high-five him but I don’t. I just
watch my ex shrink a few inches in front of me.
“Jesus Christ. I just
wanted to apologize for what I did, Dylan. I’m sorry, okay?” His eyes flick to
Reese. “Really fucking sorry.”
My body relaxes a bit
and I nod once before flicking my eyes to the door. “Good, now get the fuck
out.”
“Whatever.” He turns
sharply and leaves the shop and I force all the air out of my lungs.
Fuck, I
feel like I need a drink.
“Shit, Dylan. Remind me
never to cross you. You’re a bit terrifying.” Ian laughs behind me as I spin to
see two very amused expressions and one that isn’t so amused.
Reese looks a right mix
of angry and apprehensive. “I need to get back to work but we need to talk
about this.”
I cross my arms over my
chest. “Talk about what? That one of your twenty hookups sent me pictures of
her making you come? Nah, I’m good.” I push past him and feel his hand on my
arm, spinning me back around.
“We
will
fucking
talk about this,” he growls and puts the box under his arm before he pulls me
in and kisses me forcefully on the lips. I hear a soft moan in my throat and
try to swallow it down.
Damn it stupid body. Stay angry with me
. He
pulls away and turns towards the door. “Let’s go, Ian.”
Joey and I stand in the
middle of the shop and watch as the two hot CPAs walk out the door and pile
into the white Range Rover parked out front.
**
The rest of the day
goes by without a hitch. No more obscene deliveries and no more mangled
ex-boyfriends coming in with overdue apologies. This day started out so great
and turned awful within a matter of minutes. I’m miserable and bitchy and Joey
is paying for it because he’s the only person I can yell at right now. I’d
never call Reese at work and cuss him out, no matter how pissed off I was at
him. I’m much more of a show up and barge into his office type of girl. But I
won’t do that today either because I really don’t want to see him. The man is
hard to stay mad at in person and right now, I need to stay mad. Juls is
wrapping up with a bride all day, dealing with last minute wedding preparations
so she’s off limits too. So my poor assistant has been dealing with my mood
swings, and they have been a doozy.
Mainly because the
memory of the amazing night and morning I had with Reese keeps filtering into
the memory of the photos I received. And I get it; it’s not his fault that the
photos were sent to me. He obviously didn’t send them. But he allowed them to
be taken and had to have known that they could possibly be leaked or shown to
somebody. I’ve never let anyone take pictures of me like that or taken ones of
myself and sent them to anybody. So why did he let her do it? Did she mean
something to him? Was she special in some way or did he allow all of his
hookups to take pictures of him like that? That thought makes me want to drink
myself into tomorrow. And then there’s the quantity that I received. There had
to be at least twelve different shots of him having an orgasm. Twelve separate
times that they fucked and she made him come. Was there more than that? Did she
only send me the best images? His words from our shower together run through
me.
I don’t usually fuck my flings repeatedly.
So she obviously wasn’t a
fling. She was more than that to him. Just like me. Maybe she got too clingy
and that’s why he ended things with her. She was the girl he wasn’t really
serious with before the wedding. And he’s not really serious with me. How am I
any different than her?
“Cupcake, you all
right?” Joey asks as I put the finishing touches on the cake for the
Brown/Tucker wedding. Even though my mind has been elsewhere, I’m still able to
put together a beautiful four-tiered white chocolate creation with sugared
Gerber daisies cascading down the side. “Dylan?”
I step back and admire
my work. “I’m fine. Come look at this will you?” Joey shuffles back into the
kitchen and I hear his reaction, causing me to smile. I turn and see his
adoring expression. “Looks pretty good right?”
He moves next to me and
puts his arm around my shoulder, pulling me against him. “Gorgeous. You never
cease to amaze me, cupcake.” He plants a quick kiss into my hair as my phone
beeps. Somehow, even though I had hurled it with all my strength against my
wall earlier, it managed to survive the assault. I reach quickly into my pocket
after wiping my hands off on my apron.
Reese: I need to see you tonight.
I show it to Joey.
“Well you knew that was coming, the boy is persistent.” He leans in and checks
out the flowers. “What are you going to do?”
I stare at his message
before I answer. “I don’t know, I think I need a night with my two best friends
and no boys. Can that happen?” He smiles and pulls his phone out, quickly
messing with it. I’ll deal with Reese tomorrow when we both attend Billy and
Joey’s party.
His phone beeps and he
turns towards me. “Juls is in, cupcake. No boys.” I nod and smile weakly as I
reply to Reese.
Me: I can’t tonight. I need some
time to think.
Joey walks back up
front while I await his response. It doesn’t take long.
Reese: Don’t pull away from me.
He guts me with his
words, the same words from last night. Is he
that
worried that I’ll end
this? Or he is just worried that I won’t give him the opportunity to explain
the situation. I type quickly.
Me: I’m not. I just think I need
some space. You have no idea what this feels like for me.
I go to press send but
don’t, my thumb hovering over the button.
Shit. Do I really want space from
him?
Hitting the back button, I shorten the message before I send it.
Me: I’m not.
**
Joey drove us to Juls’
house that night after we closed up shop and made a quick liquor store run.
There was no way in hell I wasn’t drinking tonight. I was actually surprised I
didn’t dive into the vodka bottle that’s been in my freezer for months at some
point today. But I’d never drink at work, no matter how hurt or pissed off I
was. Reese hadn’t sent me any more messages or tried to call, which I was
grateful for. But it also surprised me. He was so damned persistent about
everything that I half expected him to barge into the shop before closing,
throw me over his shoulder, and take me home with him so that we could fuck,
talk, and fuck some more. And I hated that a chunk of me wished he would have.
But tonight wasn’t about boys. It was about spending time with my two best
friends, laughing and hanging out like we did before the three of us fell fast
and hard for members of the Chicago man candy club.
Joey parked outside
Juls’ building and we walked inside together. She lived in Hyde Park, which was
about fifteen minutes from the bakery in a two bedroom apartment. She’s lived
here since graduation and it occurred to me as we walked up the flight of
stairs to the second floor that she would only be living here for a few more
months. She would surely move in with Ian after the wedding and the thought of
her not living in this place that held so many of our memories saddened me. I
sigh and catch Joey’s attention as we step out onto the floor.
“Come on, cupcake,
we’re here to have fun, not sulk.” I follow him to Juls’ door and he opens it
without knocking in true Joey form. Once he’s been to your house, he feels like
he lives there along with you.
“I’m not sulking. I’ll
just miss this place once Juls moves in with Ian.” We spot her in the kitchen
opening a bottle of wine and she beams at us. “Do you remember that time we
threw that eighties party here and you dressed up like Vanilla Ice?” He blushes
at my memory as we plop down in front of the television on the floor.
Juls walks over with
three wine glasses and hands them out. “That was fucking hilarious. You knew
the entire rap from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles,” she says. I giggle into my
glass and take a few large sips.
“Christ, I will never
live that shit down. Thank God no one took any video of that mess.”
“That party was
insane,” Juls says behind her glass. “Dyl, remember how pissed off you got at
Justin because he was the only person here
not
dressed up?”
I nod and picture the
memory, rolling my eyes at it and taking a sip. “What an asshole. He spent the
entire party bitching about the music selections. It was a fucking
eighties
party. What did he expect?”
Joey laughs around his
glass. “I think he expected you to just leave with him and not have an amazing
time. But you have never been that girl, cupcake, and he should have known
that. What a waste he was.” Juls and I mumble in agreement.
“A waste that ended up
getting
exactly
what he deserved. Prick,” she adds, tossing us each a
pillow so we can sprawl out on the floor. “Are we going to talk about the pictures,
sweets?”
“No,” I quickly reply.
Joey rolls onto his
side. “You can’t be mad about girls he’s fucked before you. That’s not fair. He
didn’t even know you when those pictures were taken.”
“That’s not why I’m
mad.” I sit up, glaring at both of them. “Well, okay, yes it bothers me that
he’s been with other women. And I know it shouldn’t because I wasn’t a virgin
when we started this thing between us, but I’ve only been with Justin.” I put
my glass down. “Reese gave me a ballpark figure of close to twenty girls and
that’s a fucking lot. Which is fine, whatever. I can deal with that as long as
it’s not thrown in my face. But it was.” I close my eyes and picture one of the
images from the box. Grabbing my glass off the small table, I down it quickly before
I continue. “I’m not even mad at him about this. Not even in the slightest,
which is what’s making this so fucking confusing. The only thing he did wrong
was allow for the pictures to be taken of him and not confiscate them after he
ended it with her. He didn’t send them to me. He doesn’t talk about other girls
that he’s been with. He tells me that
I’m
amazing and that
I’m
all he thinks about.” I sigh heavily and throw myself back down onto my pillow.
“But now I have to deal with psychotic ex-hookups and I’m not sure I’d do well
in prison. I’m too hostile.” This is true. I’d probably end up
permanently in solitary confinement after getting into too many fights or
disobeying orders.
I glance over and see
the bursting smiles on my two best friends’ faces, desperately trying to hold
in their hysteria. I motion for them to let it out and the three of us fall
into a fit of giggles.
“Alright, so I have a
question,” Joey says and I shake my head, preparing for the worst here. “How
the hell did you wind up spending the night with him last night? I thought you
were against sex in beds and sleepovers and anything too intimate.”
“You slept over at his
house?” Juls asks.
“It was an accident. He
wanted to fuck me in his bed for his birthday so I let him and then we passed
out together. I’m not letting it happen again.” I glance over and see Joey’s
mischievous grin and Juls’ teary eyes. “What?”
“You were his birthday
present? Oh my,” she says and blinks rapidly.
Good Lord, she’s emotional
lately.
I glare at Joey. “And
what’s up with you?”
Crossing his hands
behind his head, he continues after a dramatic pause. “I just think it’s cute
that you
think
it was an accident. I mean, he could have woken you up
and driven you home but he called me instead and told me that you would be late
today. It was no accident, cupcake. He wanted you there.”
My eyes widen and I sit
up. “He called you this morning, right?”
He shakes his head and
grins wide at me. “Nope. He called me last night after you passed out.”
I shuffle over and sit
on top of him, hearing him squeal underneath me. “What the hell do you mean he
called you last night? Are you serious?” His grin answers for him and I glance
over at Juls who is laughing hysterically. “I can’t believe this. He lied to
me.”
“Oh relax, sweets. I
think it’s romantic that he wanted you to spend the night with him. How was it
anyway?”
The memory of last
night runs through me quickly and I feel my lip curl up into a smile. I shrug
my shoulders and play it off. “It was okay.”
Wow. I don’t even sound
convincing to myself.
I roll off Joey and lay back down on my pillow. “I
sure hope he enjoyed himself because that shit is never happening again.”
“Hmm mmm,” My two best
friends say in unison. I bite my lip to contain my laugh but crack, letting it
out as they fall apart next to me. This is how the rest of the evening plays
out. Laughing and joking on the living floor in Juls’ apartment as we polish
off two bottles of wine. There’s Juls and Ian’s wedding talk, Joey and
Billy’s moving in together talk, and mine and Reese’s crazy fight, hard fuck,
harder non relationship talk. It’s a much needed gab fest among three friends
who used to only rely on each other. After several hours of gossiping and
alcohol consumption, I pass out in the middle of her living room and slip into
my Reese coma.
After a fast breakfast
with Juls, Joey and I returned to the bakery and put the finishing touches on
the wedding cake before loading it up into Sam. The reception hall was thirty minutes
away and traffic was a nightmare, but we made it on time and dropped the
beautiful white chocolate Gerber daisy cake off without any issues. I showered
and dressed after saying my goodbyes to Joey and locked the shop up, deciding
to sit outside on the bench that was a store down from mine while I waited for
Juls. Today was dress shopping day and I wasn’t sure who was more excited about
it, her or me. I’ve never been in a wedding party before and was delighted to
be a part of Ian and Juls’ special day. Plus I
would
have the hottest
date on the planet. Of course, that’s if we are still doing this thing between
us in three months. The thought unsettles me and I scroll through my phone
while I sit on the bench, pulling up his last text message.
Reese: Don’t pull away from me.
What the hell does that
even mean?
I’m sure it doesn’t mean the way I’m interpreting
it which is in the most gigantic scheme of things way possible. I’m sure he’s
only referring to my justified freak out over the pictures I received
yesterday.
Shit.
The thought of them makes me queasy. His face, the face
that I had hoped was only reserved for me clearly isn’t because it’s been
captured by another woman. I sigh forcefully and jam my phone into my jeans
pocket. How stupid of me to think that he only looks at me like that. That I’m
the only woman that he watches intently as he’s coming. I close my eyes tightly
and the sound of a car approaching causes me to peek them open. Juls’ black
Escalade pulls up to the curb and the passenger window rolls down as I stand
up.
“Let’s go, sweets.”
I smile, pushing all of
the Reese drama to the very back of my mind. I can’t think about this shit
right now. Today is about Juls and I’m going to keep my mind occupied with all
things maid of honor like.
**
We’ve arrived at
Christian’s Bridal Shop and after a few moments of quick hysteria over the fact
that we are
actually
shopping for Juls’ wedding dress, we walk around
the store and peruse the selections. Juls’ sister Brooke, who will be the other
bridesmaid next to Joey, met us here shortly after we arrived. I haven’t seen
her in a while and she’s been talking my ear off nonstop about the lack of men
in her life and probing for information on mine.
“Oh come on, Dylan.
Tell me all about this guy that works with Ian. I’m dying for some hard core
gossip and Juls won’t tell me shit,” she says from the dressing room next to
me. We’ve been handed a few dress choices and I’m currently slipping myself
into a chocolate brown strapless number that feels and looks incredible.
Damn.
Would it be weird to buy this if Juls doesn’t pick this for her big day?
I
zip up the back and open the curtain.
“There’s nothing to
tell. He’s just a guy I’m having fun with.” I step out and hop up onto the
pedestal in front of a massive mirror, seeing Juls’ reflection as she stands
behind me.
“Holy shit. I love that
one. What do you think though? Is it comfortable? Do you think we should go for
something more cheery, like maybe a burnt orange color?”
I spin around to face
her. “Burnt orange? How the hell is that more cheery? And are you trying to
make us look like pumpkins?”
She bites her bottom
lip and eyes up my dress as Brooke walks out in the exact same one. “I love
this one. Juls, pick this because the other three are fucking hideous and make
me look like I’m six months pregnant.”
Juls moves to stand by
her sister and runs her hand over the material. “Yup, this is it. You both look
amazing in it and I love the color.” She smiles and bops her head. “Well that
was way too fucking easy. Now it’s time for the real fun.” She wiggles her
brows and walks to her dressing room while Brooke and I stand and gaze at our
reflections.
“And what do you mean
you’re just having fun with this guy? Are you telling me that it’s strictly a
sex thing between you two because if you are, I think that’s bullshit. Guys can
make that shit work but I don’t think girls can. We’re too emotional.”
Jesus.
Did she hit the nail on the head or what.
Leave it to Brooke to be
exceedingly insightful when she hasn’t even met the guy I’m just having fun
with yet.
“I’m keeping my
emotions out of it.”
Or at least I’m desperately trying to.
“Ha! Yeah, okay, good
luck with that. How’s the sex?” I glance over at her and issue my wicked grin.
“Damn. I need to start checking out office buildings for smart men. You and my
sister are making bank.”
My phone beeps in my
dressing room and I hop down quickly, racing in to pull it out of my discarded
jeans. My heart sinks a bit at the message sender.
Joey: Party is postponed. My baby
has the stomach bug that’s going around. How’s the dress shopping going?
Me: Oh no! Tell Billy I hope he
feels better. We just picked out our dresses and Juls is trying hers on now.
I’ll send you a pic.
Well shit. I guess I
won’t be seeing Reese tonight at the party after all. My disappointment
quickly gets blanketed by the realization that it might be a good thing to go a
few days without seeing him. Between the accidental but not really accidental
sleepover to the photos I received, I have a lot of shit to think about. I hear
a gasp from Brooke and I quickly slip out of my dressing room and let my eyes
fall on Juls who has just emerged from hers.
Holy shit.
“Holy shit. Juls, oh
my, that’s, oh wow.” There are no words to describe the woman that I’m
staring at right now. She’s beautiful, exquisite even, in a strapless tight
laced bodice and ruffled skirt, her tiny waist accented with a deep brown sash
that falls down her back and onto her train.
“Wow. You look
amazing,” Brooke states as her sister takes her place on her pedestal and
begins to twirl slowly.
“It’s beautiful
right?” She shakes her hands out by her side and I can tell she’s nervous.
“What is it?”
“I don’t know. Is it
weird that I have no desire to try on any other dresses? I mean, this is the
first one I put on and I feel like this is it. I can see myself marrying Ian in
this. Maybe I should try on more.”
“Fuck that. Who cares
if it’s the first one you try on. You look amazing in it. Like crazy amazing. I
can
totally
see you marrying Ian in this dress,” I reply and see the
tension leave her shoulders. Leave it to Juls to worry about the standards of
bridal gown shopping. Her smile widens in the mirror and I can tell she’s on to
something. “What?” She quickly hops down and slips back into her dressing room.
“Damn it. I wanna get
married. There better at least be some hot groomsmen for me to fool around with
at this thing,” Brooke grunts.
“The best man is off
limits, just so you know,” I reply and she squints at me.
Juls reemerges with
another gown in her hands and walks over to me, thrusting it into my arms.
“Here, try this on.”
“What? Are you crazy?”
She
must be if she thinks I’m slipping into a wedding gown.
“I am
not
trying on a wedding dress.”
“Why not? This would look
amazing on you, right Brooke?”
Oh for Christ’s sake.
Brooke steps up and
admires the gown. “She’s right, Dylan. It’s a halter and you always look
amazing in halter dresses with those boobs of yours. Remember prom? God, I
fucking hate you both.”
I back up. “You are
both nuts. There’s no way I’m putting that thing on or any other wedding dress
for that matter. I’m pretty sure I’d seal my fate as being perpetually single
if I did.” This was an honest fear. Karma has been increasingly hostile towards
me lately and I can see her crossing her arms and stomping her foot at me now,
daring me to push my luck.
“Oh come on, Dyl.
Brooke will try some on too right, Brooke?” We both look at her sister who is
sulking on her pedestal.
“Whatever. I fucking
hate weddings.”
I shake my head and
turn back to Juls who is staring me down. “No.”
She stomps her foot and
grits her teeth. “Excuse you, but as maid of honor you’re supposed to do
everything I ask.”
“And that includes
trying on wedding gowns? Are you mental?”
She frowns big time at
me and I melt.
Damn it.
“Fine, give me the stupid thing.” I rip it from
her hands and march with fury to my dressing room as she squeals in delight.
This
is insane and completely ridiculous.
After stripping out of my maid of
honor dress, I annoyingly step into the wedding gown and slowly zip it up, my
eyes widening as I gaze down at myself. “Oh shit.” I whisper, obviously not low
enough because Juls rips open the curtain.
“Wow. You look
incredible.” She pulls me from my room and pushes me up onto the pedestal as
Brooke walks up behind me.
“Damn, Dylan. Would it
be weird to put that shit on hold indefinitely?”
I smile subtly at her
comment and gaze at my reflection. My chest tightens at the sight of myself.
Me, in a wedding gown, and I look amazing.
Crap.
I’m covered in lace
from my detailed halter down to my train. I was never a fan of lace but right
now, standing in this dress, I’m a
huge
fan. A clicking sound comes from
behind me and I turn to see Juls taking a picture of me with her phone. “What
the hell?”
“Oh relax. I won’t send
it to any sexy CPAs or anything. It’s just for us.” I can’t imagine what would
happen if Reese got a hold of that picture. He’d probably freak the fuck out
and end things for sure.
Talk about being clingy.
“Seriously, Dylan,
look at us.” Juls hops up onto my pedestal and grabs my hand, linking it with
hers. Besides the fact that we are both standing in wedding gowns, humorously,
we’re complete opposites in appearance. Juls with her dark brown straight hair and
me with my uber blond naturally wavy mess, her piercing blue eyes contrast with
my wide brown ones that seem to take up the majority of my face, and she’s a
good three inches taller than me as I stand up on my toes to bring me up to her
5’9 height. “Goof. I’m getting married, Dyl.”
“You are and I’m not,
so I’m getting the
fuck
out of this thing.” She giggles as I hop down
and slip back into my dressing room. But before I take it off, I admire myself
alone for a brief moment. I’ve never given much thought to getting married.
Having only been in one serious relationship, Justin never appealed to me as
the marrying kind which now seems ironic since he
is
married. Just not
happily, or faithfully. But standing in this dress right now, for the first
time in my life I can picture myself walking down the aisle towards the one
person I want to spend my life with. And before I can put a face to that one
person, I slip out of the dress and back into reality.
After saying goodbye to
Juls and her sister, I spend the rest of the day keeping myself busy with a
massive amount of baking. Seven dozen muffins, six batches of cookies, and an
assortment of pastries later, I finally slip upstairs and crash, passing out
immediately.
**
I wake up cranky and
miserable on Sunday morning, having experienced one of the shittiest nights of
sleep I’ve ever had. I tossed and turned all night, my usual dreams of Reese
and I together replaced with him and a string of women with red hair who he’s
fucking relentlessly. I wake up constantly drenched in sweat and when I pass
back out, another redhead replaces the previous one. I chalk it up to the fact
that I haven’t seen or heard from him since Friday afternoon and I’m in
desperate need of my fix. But he hasn’t called me or texted and I have no
fucking clue how to interpret that. Coming from a man who pursued the shit out
of me, sending me sweet notes and packages, and texting me daily. And now,
nothing. Panic runs through me that I’ve actually royally fucked this up by
telling him I needed time to think. But time to think doesn’t mean leave me
alone. It just means what it means. That I’ve been thinking, which I have and
I’m done with.
I’ve decided that I’m
done being pissy over the photos I received Friday because it’s not doing me
any good. It wasn’t his fault and knowing him, I’m sure he’s dealt with that
spiteful bitch to prevent any future deliveries from her. I have no right to be
mad or jealous about his previous hookups, especially since we’re not serious.
And I’ve also decided that I’m okay with that. This is what Reese wants, the
only thing he does, and I’m having fun doing it with him. I refuse to let my
emotions screw this up because this, what we’re doing, is the best thing I’ve
ever done with a man. He’s sweet and fun and hot as hell. And he chose me. Of
all the girls lining up, he chose me. What we’re doing is enough for him and it
can be enough for me. I don’t need to be in a serious relationship to be happy,
I’ve never been this happy before in my life. The sound of my phone ringing
sends me sprinting up the stairs where I plugged it in before I decided to
organize my pantry. Disappointment runs through me as Juls names flashes across
my screen.