Swan's Way (13 page)

“Did you ever think we’d find each other again?” Neal’s question came out of nowhere, stunning Ginna to silence.

Realizing suddenly that his words sounded odd, Neal added, “What I mean is, it seems as though we met somewhere before, and I’ve been looking for you all my life. Maybe we knew each other in a previous lifetime. I feel like we did, Ginna.”

“You believe in reincarnation?”

Neal thought a minute, before he answered. “Makes sense to me. Why should all the knowledge and talent and beauty of each generation be wasted. Recycle! That’s what I believe.”

Neal’s words gave Ginna pause. She had never really thought about it, but it did make sense. Was a human soul any less important than a plastic milk jug?

“You know, I heard a guy talking one time—a psychic—about the fourth dimension.”

Ginna looked up at him. “What’s that?”

“He said it’s this other layer of reality. Like a shell around us. It’s a place where past times and spirits dwell right alongside all of us, here in the present.”

“I’m not sure I understand, Neal.”

He rubbed his jaw, trying to figure out a better way to explain. “You know, sometimes you’ll see a dog or a cat watching something, but there’s nothing there. Their heads will move as if they see someone or something walking across a room.”

Ginna nodded. “Yes. I’ve seen that. But animals have such keen hearing, that’s what accounts for their strange behavior sometime, I think.”

“It’s more than that, Ginna. The way this guy explained it, animals not only hear sounds we can’t hear, but they can see things we can’t see. Things in this fourth dimension.”

All of a sudden, a light dawned in Ginna’s mind.
The fourth dimension!
That could explain everything that had been happening to her. Two layers of time, co-existing at Swan’s Quarter. The past and the present, side by side.

“But we can’t see into this other dimension, can we, Neal?”

“Not usually. But this guy said that sometimes things happen that allow us to see. Like a crack in a wall that lets light in or a curtain that isn’t quite closed. Then we can catch glimpses of what’s happening in that other realm.”

“Where did you meet this psychic? Why did he tell you about the fourth dimension?”

Neal glanced away, looking off in the distance toward the huge tulip poplar tree. He didn’t want to talk about that. “It doesn’t matter,” he said quietly. He couldn’t bring himself to tell Ginna about his wife, Nancy, and her tragic death, about the strange old man who had wandered up to him while he stood at her grave—dry-eyed, unable to shed the tears that were choking him, drowning him in grief and guilt. “All that matters is what he told me. I never believed it.” He paused again, then muttered under his breath, “Not until now.”

“What’s happened, Neal? Can you tell me about it?”

He turned her toward him and looked deeply into her eyes.
“You
happened, Ginna. Since you’ve come, everything’s changed. I see more, hear more, feel more.”

Ginna was on the verge of asking him what he remembered about New York. It was time they discussed everything and compared notes. But just as she was about to question him, a heavy rain shower started. Holding onto each other, they raced for the pool house. Ginna felt for the key above the doorframe and unlocked the tiny cottage. A moment later, they were inside, in each other’s arms, glorying in their nearness, their privacy.

After a long, deep kiss, Neal drew away and whispered, “I don’t want to rush you into anything, Ginna.”

Any other time with any other man, Ginna would have refused to be rushed. But this was Neal—the man she loved—and they didn’t have much time, and she knew it.

The rain on the roof of the quaint little cottage had a silvery, music box sound. Off in the distance, thunder rumbled over the valley. Darkness was falling quickly, making Ginna and Neal’s hideaway seem all the more private and magical.

For a long time, they stood together in the center of the room, their bodies locked in an embrace. Neal’s kiss transported Ginna to another realm—somewhere beyond the fourth dimension. She lost track of where she was, even who she was. But she knew whose arms were holding her, whose mouth moved sensually over hers, whose warm, damp body was pressed close to her own.

Her heart raced so that she felt weak—not the weakness she experienced when she climbed stairs or when she ran to catch a bus. No, this was different. This was a sweet, languid weakness that flowed through her veins like a river of fire, kindling a longing so intense that she knew there could be no turning back. Not this time. Not with Neal.

“Oh, Ginna, Ginna,” he whispered between kisses. “You don’t know what this is doing to me. You’ve brought me back from the dead. I never knew I could feel this …” He paused, groping for the right word.

“This alive?” she supplied. “This free and crazy?”

He chuckled. “
Crazy?
Yes, that’s it. This is a form of insanity. But what sweet madness! I’d like to stay this crazy forever.”

“Forever and ever.” Ginna’s words came between sighs.

Still clinging to Ginna, Neal edged toward a daybed on the far side of the room. “Let me make love to you,” he whispered. “Right here! Right now! It’s been so long.”

His urgent plea warmed her through. His final remark made her wonder.
“So long” since what?
Since he last felt this way? Since he last made love to a woman? Or did he mean, without knowing it, the
last time—when
he was Channing and she was Virginia?

All the questions drifted away like smoke when Neal eased her onto the bed and leaned over her. He kissed her lips, her eyelids, her cheeks. His mouth moved then to her neck, and from there to her bare shoulders. Soon she felt the warmth of his lips brush the tops of her breasts. She trembled and sighed, aching for him to come to her. It seemed that she remembered sometime long ago, when they had made love. That night, too, a kind of madness had swept them along on the crest of its wave. It had been a hot, still night filled with danger, uncertainty, and exquisite desire.

To clear the memory of that danger from her mind, she concentrated once more on the soothing sound of the rain on the roof.

“You’re far away,” Neal whispered. “Come back to me, darlin’. Come love me.”

With gentle, knowing hands, he stripped away her gown. In turn, she unbuttoned his shirt, unzipped his jeans. Soon they were lying in each other’s arms, feeling the sweet sting of flesh against flesh for the very first time.

Or was it?

Every move Neal made seemed familiar to Ginna. The way he cupped her breasts, the way he touched her thighs, the way he caressed her lazily, giving her longing all the time in the world to grow and expand, until her whole body quivered with need.

Then slowly, carefully, he poised himself over her, sure at last that she was ready. With his first thrust, Ginna shuddered beneath him. He was right; it had been a long, long time. She moved against him, urging him deeper, catching his rhythm and riding smoothly, with his every move. The heat and pleasure and madness intensified, growing and expanding, until Ginna thought she would burst into a million pinpricks of light, flying off into nothingness.

“Oh, Neal!” she gasped, wrapping him with her legs and clawing at his shoulders.

“Hold tight,” he groaned. “Don’t let go, darlin’. Not for a minute.”

The next few moments seemed to Ginna as if she and her lover had been transformed. They were no longer two people reaching for the heights, but a single energy form—white-hot, boiling, writhing through space. Searching, searching, searching! Reaching out beyond their reach for that one perfect moment.

It came with a crashing, clashing, universe-shattering explosion of pure bliss. Ginna clung tightly to Neal, riding down with him from the heights. Their passions spent at last, they lay quietly together, breathing heavily, wet with love sweat.

“God, strike me dead now, and I’ll die a happy man!”

Ginna giggled. She couldn’t help herself. She felt as light as a feather and as happy as a lark. Her mind and heart were buzzing with happy cliches. She felt like Snow White, waking up from a long, deathlike sleep, because Neal had kissed her—Neal had loved her.

When she made no response to his remark, he demanded, “Well, what do you have to say for yourself, my fine lady?”

She giggled again.

“Come on,” he urged. “Say
something!
You’re making me nervous.”

“This isn’t real. It can’t be. I’m home in bed fast asleep and dreaming the loveliest dream I’ve ever dreamed. There’s no Neal Frazier. There couldn’t be. I made him up. No
real
man could make me feel this way.”

He pinched her nipple gently.

“Ouch!” she cried.

“There! See? You’re not dreaming, Ginna. I’m right here. Want me to prove how real I am?”

Once more, he covered her, ready for another go.

“Neal!” she cried. “Give me a minute to catch my breath. I’m still coming down from the last flight.”

Remembering the plane crash suddenly, she was sorry she had said that But Neal paid no attention. For the time being, he seemed to have forgotten all his trauma and pain.

“You have to marry me, Ginna!” This wasn’t a proposal, but a demand.

“Just like that?”

He nodded vigorously and brushed her lips with his. “Just like that! I don’t see a reason in the world why we should wait. I know I love you, and I know I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I think I knew that the minute I saw you coming up the path from the swan pond a few days ago.”

“But you don’t know anything about me, Neal. And I hardly know anything about you, except that you and I… well, we seem to fit together like two pieces of a puzzle, and I like what you do … I mean, that was really something …” She trailed off with a stammer and another soft laugh.

“Okay!” He sat up beside her in all his naked glory. She let her gaze caress his muscular body, while he talked. “I was born Neal Mackey Frazier to Janice and Todd Frazier in Fairfax, Virginia, on June the tenth, thirty-two years ago. I had one older brother, killed in Vietnam. After an unspectacular career in public school, I went to the University of Virginia on a football scholarship, where I graduated without honors. Went in the army, loved every minute of it, got an honorable discharge after I was wounded in Desert Storm. Oh, I got married right before I went over. Her name was Nancy, and she was a nice lady, and she deserved better than I could give her. She died while I was away.” He paused for a moment regrouping his emotions. “I’m something of a slob around the house—never been really housebroken, I guess. I like to ride motorcycles, play tennis and golf. I hate flying. And I
love
you, Ginna Jones! So, now that you know my whole life story,
marry me!”-
He leaned down and tongued her nipple, making her squirm. Then he looked up and said, “Marry me, or I’ll drive you insane.”

She half-believed he meant it, when he leaned back down and sucked the same nipple into his mouth, teasing it with his tongue and teeth.

“Neal,” she moaned, “listen to me. We have to think about this. You don’t know anything about me.”

“Know enough! Love you! Don’t care about the rest!” He spoke the words rapidly, then went back to his sweet taunting.

Ginna was torn. She wanted to marry Neal. She really, truly loved him. But how could they rush into this? Didn’t they both need time? Yet, when she thought ahead to the empty years stretching before her without Neal, she knew she loved and needed him with all her heart and soul. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with Neal. She
wanted
to marry him, wanted it desperately.

“Well?” he raised his head from his busy work and stared at her. “Do I get an answer or not?”

She reached up and touched his face, stroking his cheek with her fingertips. The light in his eyes almost brought her to tears. He wasn’t joking around; he really did love her and want her.

“Can’t I have a few minutes to think about it, Neal?”

“Every minute wasted in waiting is time lost,” he said. “But, yes, I’ll even give you a few days. Not too long, though.”

“Not too long. I promise.” She drew his face down to hers and kissed him, softly and sweetly. “And, Neal?”

“Yes?” he answered, his voice choked with emotion and longing.

“I love you, too. I think I always have. Maybe that’s why I kept coming back to Swan’s Quarter all these years. Maybe I’ve just been waiting for you to show up, so I could fall in love.”

Her admission of her love for him turned him mellow and tender. With ever so much care, he eased into her once more. This time, unlike the previous explosion of emotions and sensations, Neal set a gentler pace. Quietly, with the languid flow of an erotic ballet, they moved together slowly, feeling each slight quiver of flesh against flesh, savoring each moment of stillness, as they held each other. Their dreamlike lovemaking went on and on, seeming to grow sweeter with each passing moment.

Just as Ginna was about to reach the pinnacle again, Neal whispered into her ear, “Marry me and it will always be this way for us.” He held very still suddenly, as if he knew that Ginna was trembling on the brink. “If you love me as much as I love you, there’s no need to wait. There’s no need to hold back. We
need
to be together, darlin’.”

Neal’s stillness left Ginna almost gasping. She ached for him to move inside her. The slightest twitch and she would be free again to fly through the starry heavens. Blood pounded in her ears. Her heart raced erratically. A hot mist of sweat encased her whole body.

“Yes, Neal,” she moaned. “Oh, yes, my darling!”

Her words seemed to send a shock wave through him. She felt him expand deep inside her, then came the slow, hot slide she loved so well. In that moment, the heavens opened up and swallowed her, leaving her pulsing with pleasure, sighing with emotion, gasping for breath.

Suddenly, her moans stopped. She went limp in Neal’s arms. Total blackness closed in.

The last thing she heard was Neal’s frantic voice. “Ginna?
Ginna!
My God, what’s happened? Ginna, come back to me!”

When Ginna woke up, she couldn’t get her bearings. A flourescent light above the bed all but blinded her. She blinked and looked around. A man was standing beside her, but she couldn’t see his face clearly.

“How are you feeling, Ginna?” She recognized Dr. Kirkwood’s voice.

“Okay, I guess.” When she tried to sit up, her head spun crazily.

“No. Lie still.” He pressed her shoulder gently. “You shouldn’t try to move yet.”

“What happened?” In a flash of returning memory, she knew, and that knowledge made her blush. She looked down at herself. She was wrapped in one of the terrycloth robes from the pool house, not a stitch underneath it.

“Neal brought you to my office a few minutes ago. He said you fainted again. You’re in my examining room. I thought you would be more comfortable lying down.”

She looked about the spartan room. “Where is Neal?”

“I asked him to wait outside. He’s very upset, Ginna.”

“I fainted.” She repeated the doctor’s words, as if trying to make herself understand.

“Neal told me what happened.” Kirkwood’s voice was level, unaccusing.

Ginna grimaced and put her hand over her eyes. “God, I feel like such a fool!”

“No need for that. You simply put too much stress on your heart. Ginna, you’re going to have to be more careful. I’ve called an ambulance to take you to the hospital in Winchester.”

“No!” Now she did sit up. “I won’t go! I’m fine!”

“Obviously, you are
not
fine, Ginna. I think you should go in for an EKG. If there are no immediate problems, they’ll release you. We’re required here at Swan’s Quarter to send any patient to the hospital when there’s an emergency—even a slight one. I’ve bent the rules in the past, because you were only a visitor. This time, you’re staying here, so it’s different. Besides, I’m very concerned about you.”

Ginna’s mind was spinning. Everything that had happened during the past hours seemed to be crowding in on her. She couldn’t think straight. When she did get it all sorted out, she wondered just how much Neal had told Dr. Kirkwood.

Gauging him with her eyes, she said, “Neal and I are planning to get married.”

The doctor remained expressionless. He only nodded.

“That’s all right? For me to get married, I mean?”

“As long as you don’t overdo on your honeymoon, Ginna.”

Was he making fun of her? She looked closely at him. No. He meant that. That was his
medical opinion
.

“Am I being fair?” she asked.

“About what?”

“Marrying Neal—marrying anyone.”

Dr. Kirkwood smiled. “Get married, have kids, be happy.”

“I’m not rushing into this, honest. I know what I’m doing. I think …” Tears of uncertainty brimmed in her eyes.

“Does Neal love you?”

She nodded, trying to get the lump out of her throat.

“Do you love him?”

Again she nodded.

“Then what’s the problem? He’ll be a good husband, Ginna. And any man would be happy with you by his side. If you love him, I say go for it!”

“There’s no
if!”
she cried. “I love him more than anything, and Neal
does
love me!”

“I’m not disputing that, Ginna. You asked for my opinion and I’m giving it to you, that’s all.”

She darted another quick glance at the doctor. “We made love. Did he tell you?”

“No, not exactly. Not in so many words. But I assumed as much by the way you were dressed. I didn’t think you’d been swimming this time of year.”

“I’m a grown woman! I can do what I want.” She didn’t sound like a grown woman. She sounded more like a scared littled girl. “And, besides, it’s my birthday.”