Surviving Seduction (15 page)

The light had quickly faded and Selena had difficulty finding her bedrol where it lay near Dan’s. Jack returned as they settled in and soon it was quiet.

Selena lay on her back, staring up through the trees.

What if I did leave?

Her eyes suddenly wel ed. The future that he wanted to build was terrifying to her, regardless of his good intentions. He seemed so certain that they would share it together.

Selena turned to look at him in the darkness. She’d seen him brought to his knees and she’d seen him accept defeat. But it was his enemies that had done this to him, not someone he loved. How much deeper could that pain pierce? She’d always felt that his confidence was his greatest strength, but what if it was his greatest weakness as wel ? He’d placed so much trust in her. She realized abruptly that she had the power to hurt him more than anyone else in the world.

Tears streamed down her face now as she imagined explaining to him that the life he was trying to build for them couldn’t make her happy. It hurt so much she almost made a sound. If such a thing came to pass, she knew it would break her heart as deeply as his and the pain of mountainous guilt would be on her as wel .

It was a struggle to keep her breathing even. If it trembled, he would know. As she gazed at his dark form in the blackness, her love for him wel ed unbearably. She felt a desperate need to be close to him, to be wrapped in his protective arms like the other night. She wanted to feel like she had then.

I can’t fail him. I won’t fail him
, she told herself fiercely. But a tiny seed of doubt lingered. How much could she suffer to protect him?

When dawn broke the next day, Selena awoke, sniffling. She opened her eyes to see Dan crouched beside her, frowning.

“Are you okay?” he asked in a hushed voice. She guessed some of the others were stil sleeping.

For a moment Selena was afraid that he could tel she’d been crying the night before, but when she propped herself up, her sinuses felt strange and her throat was swol en.

“Shit,” she whispered, fal ing back on her bedrol and covering her face with her hands. “I caught something,”

she groaned.

“Uh oh,” he said, placing a hand tentatively to her forehead. “You’re not warm.”

“Maybe it’s a cold. Ugh.”

She forced herself to rise and tried her best to smooth her hair. She didn’t feel
that
bad, at least not yet.

“We’ve only got a few hours of riding before we get home,” Dan reminded her. “Blaire wil have a hundred remedies.”

Selena nodded. “The sooner we get back, the better.”

Fortunately, Cal was the only one they had to wake Fortunately, Cal was the only one they had to wake up. Josie and Angela were refreshing themselves at the stream and Jack had already tacked up his horse.

Dan set about saddling Buck and Jack took the opportunity to pick up Selena’s saddle.

“Hey! I’m fine. I can do it,” she protested, standing quickly.

“I’m already done. It’s no bother,” he cal ed over his shoulder cheerful y, hoisting the saddle onto Star’s back.

Selena glanced at Dan. She could see no obvious sign of irritation in him, but she could feel it.

“Mornin’!” Josie cal ed cheerful y as she strode briskly to the horses, Angela in tow. “Sure is nice to be around some early risers for a change!”

Cal grunted, rubbing his eyes. “Right back at ya, Sunshine,” he answered flatly.

Josie grinned until her gaze found Selena. “Hey. You alright?”

“Feeling a little sick. Think I caught something,” she muttered back.

“Huh. Probably picked it up from us. Wel , that’s too bad,” Josie said. Her cheerful tone was hardly diminished.

It was obvious that the woman was used to dismissing such trivial things, albeit politely. Selena guessed that Josie was in the habit of only concerning herself with real problems.

When their journey resumed, Selena found her discomfort more difficult to deal with than she’d expected.

There was nothing much to distract her mind, seeing as her mare was doing al the work. For a while, she managed to listen to Dan as he told Josie about the residents of their community, but it wasn’t long before his Spartan descriptions failed to secure her attention. She knew that he would not want to give out more information about them than was necessary, and she supposed that was good, considering he was going over al their heads by bringing Josie to their home without a vote.

Selena rubbed her itchy nose and tried to distract herself, imagining how Dan’s decision would be received.

She sighed. No one would complain, and if they did, it would be in private.

The remaining five hours of riding felt like twenty to Selena. She could feel her symptoms growing worse. By the time they crested the ridge of Brian’s Crater, her throat was sore and her sinuses were almost completely blocked.

She nearly hustled past them before she realized they’d stopped.

“Wel ! Don’t you guys have one hel of a set-up!”

Josie admitted as she took in the view of the cabins nestled in the oak trees next to the orchard and the pond.

The majestic crater wal s rose up protectively around it al in an oblong circle.

Just now, Selena couldn’t appreciate the view too much. Al she wanted to do was curl up in bed and hide there. She did manage to suffer a momentary deja vu. Dan had once brought her to this very spot for her first glance at the Crater, just like he was now doing with Josie. Of course Selena had been very much afraid of him when it was
her
first time here, so although she was deeply impressed, she hadn’t sung praises of what she saw. Now she knew that Dan must be very proud of their sanctuary, and perhaps he wanted to share the awe that he may have felt when it had been his first time seeing it. Then again, she guessed his motives were probably simpler. He wanted to impress Josie and he’d wanted to impress Selena. If only she’d known that then.

Happily, she sneezed, snapping them out of their reverie. They started down the hil and visions of hot broth and warm blankets danced behind her achy eyelids.

Dan whistled when they reached the tack room and Tim came running. Selena slid off Star, threw him the reins and set off quickly.

“I have to lie down,” she cal ed over her shoulder.

Someone would let Blaire know she was sick. When their cabin was in sight, she whimpered, stumbled up the few stairs, rushed through the door and threw herself on the bed. Pul ing her shoes off violently, she fought her way beneath the covers and closed her eyes.

It seemed like a long time before she heard the door.

“Hel o?” Ben’s voice cal ed.

“Come in. I’m not naked or anything,” she croaked.

“Darn,” he said, coming down the hal before halting in the doorway with a goofy smirk. “Wel don’t worry. Sick or not, you stil look very sexy.”

Selena stuck out her tongue. “Where’s Blaire?”

“She’s trying to get that woman situated,” he said, tossing a bundle of handkerchiefs at her from a safe distance. “Looks like she’s going to be bunking in with Sara. Dan’s not too happy about it.”

“Oh. Yeah, Sara’s not going to make us look that great,” Selena muttered. “That’l be awkward, seeing as Josie’s brother kil ed Jimmy.”

“
What
?” he exclaimed.

“Jake was Josie’s brother. He used to hunt the Grazers. Josie wanted to kil him herself. So she says.”

“Whoa,” he trailed off. “So what the hel is going on?

Not to bother you when you’re sick or anything. Al Dan’s said is that Josie’s a guest.”

“I’m sure we’l have a campfire tonight and he’l tel everyone al about it,” Selena yawned. Talking around the campfire was their custom whenever anyone came back with news.

“Yeah, it’l be so much fun. We’l braid each other’s hair and talk about our crushes,” Ben said in his most sarcastic tone.

“You know what?” she sniffed. “I shouldn’t tel you anything. Not after al your mischief with Jack.”

Ben went from looking at her like she was crazy to an expression of guilty amusement. “He’s just so honest about things. It’s refreshing. Complete opposite of Dan.”

“Dan doesn’t lie! Does he?”

“No, I don’t think so. But he’s not the most open person. Jack is completely determined to romance you somehow, and doesn’t seem to care who knows. I’m stil not sure if Dan realizes what he’s in for. And you should be proud of me. There were a lot of questions I
didn’t
answer.”

“Questions? What was he asking?”

“Oh, the usual. Where you came from. But then he wanted to know about how you got here, which led to al the craziness with Dan …”

“You did
not
tel him about how Dan brought me here,” she sputtered, sitting up. It had been a sort of kidnapping – for her own good, Dan had insisted – and Jack would have a field day with that if he knew.

“Wel , I only told him that you didn’t want to come with him at first, but that was it,” he said, shifting on his feet.

“I didn’t tel him how you … wel , how you got together, or anything about your relationship. I’l bet he starts asking Cal things, since he’s so into Loraine. I’m going to tel that fool that Amy likes him. She’s much cooler. Either way, Jack can play the ‘you like my sister’ card on him.”

Selena grunted. “Great. Wel I’m stil not tel ing you anything. I’m too tired and you should hear it from Dan, not me. He’l make more sense.”

“Oh, fine. I’m going to take a shot in the dark and guess you’re staying in tonight?”

She only managed a grunt in response, but he She only managed a grunt in response, but he seemed to get the message and stalked out with a sigh.

Selena rol ed over to face the wal and escape the light coming in from the windows. To her frustration, sleep was just beyond her reach. When she final y began to drift off, the door sounded again and she groaned.

Dan’s quiet footsteps stopped at the bedroom doorway.

“Go away,” she said without turning over.

“Or what?” he chal enged gently.

She heard him set something down on the end table so she rol ed over, covering her face with a handkerchief.

He stood at the edge of the bed, looking down at her with a bemused expression. He’d brought her a bowl of soup.

“Blaire says there’s a lot more where this came from and she’s busy making dinner or she’d have brought it herself.”

“You need to sleep somewhere else,” Selena sniffled.

“No I don’t,” he smiled sympathetical y. “Anyway, what kind of a man would I be if I let a sick, ninety-pound girl chase me out of my own cabin?”

“Ugh. A smart one?” she suggested. “And I weigh plenty more than that.”

He only continued to smile.

“Let me guess,” she sighed. “You don’t get sick.”

“Not often, and when I do, it doesn’t last long,” he explained, sitting beside her. “Learned to ignore it.”

“How?” Selena groaned, rubbing her face miserably.

It seemed that he hadn’t expected this question. “It was part of the training. Started at an early age.”

“Your dad forced you to ignore il ness?” Selena asked, frowning.

Dan nodded.

“I don’t know how anyone could do that to their kid,”

she muttered.

“It was necessary. We can’t afford to let a cold slow us down. You should know that more than anyone, since you used to rely on yourself for everything.”

Selena shrugged. “I didn’t mingle, so I didn’t catch anything. I haven’t been sick since my parents were alive.

And ignoring il ness or pain is a good way to die, you know?”

“I’m not going to argue with you when you are so weak and helpless,” he teased, handing her the bowl of soup. “It wouldn’t be fair.”

Selena rol ed her eyes and sat up, although she was reluctant to uncover her face because she didn’t want to breathe on him and she didn’t want him to see her reddened, swol en nose. “Thanks. I’m good,” she said, taking the bowl. “I’l just eat this and sleep. You should get back to … whatever it is you are doing today.”

Dan turned away and let out a long breath, looking instantly preoccupied with the task ahead. “It’s going to be busy for a while. I want to make sure Josie gets a good impression about how we live. She’s bunking in with the worst person for that,” he frowned, adding, “There’s more to her decision than she’s letting on.”

Selena took a delicious spoonful of warm broth.

“What else is there?” she asked.

“I don’t know yet, but I’m going to find out. Josie is very smart,” he answered, standing. “She leads those Grazers for a reason. Hopeful y I’l have an answer sooner than later.”

“Good luck,” Selena said between slurps. “You know where to find me.”

“Yeah,” he murmured back, walking purposeful y from the cabin.

The door closed behind him as she finished the last of the broth.

“Wel , that was easy,” she said to herself as she settled in to sleep. This time it came quickly.

Ten

Selena awoke later that evening to a knock on the door.

“It’s Blaire!” the woman announced before cracking it open. “I’m comin’ in!”

Selena pul ed herself to a sitting position and worked on lighting the lantern by her bedside. The light from the windows had grown dim.

When Blaire arrived at the bedroom doorway, Selena saw a bowl in her hands.

“Wel , look at you,” she said, frowning. “This is what happens when you go chargin’ into crowds of strange people. But if I know you, I’m guessin’ you didn’t want to.”

Selena nodded miserably. “You guessed right.”

“Wel here’s some more soup for you,” Blaire said, setting the bowl on the end table. “This time I had a chance to make stew. There’s chicken, carrots, potatoes and a few other good things.”

“Thank God for you,” Selena croaked, blowing her nose in a handkerchief. “Anything interesting going on out there?”

“Not especial y. Dan is showin’ that woman around.

Looks like a yoga instructor.”

“What’s yoga?”

“Nevermind,” Blaire smirked. Her expression sobered quickly. “Selena honey, I’m worried,” she said gently, sitting down on the bed. “Not about you, I know you’l be back on your feet in no time. I’l just get to the point.