Surviving Love (23 page)

Virginia snatches the papers out of Rebecca’s hand. “I can’t believe this! Who the fuck are these people? Why would she leave half her inheritance to…” She snaps her head back to Zoe and eyes Mia, glaring at my child. I instantly go into protective mode, stepping in front of Zoe. “What is that child’s name?”Virginia asks, practically foaming at the mouth.
 

“Mia!” My daughter shouts from behind me, always willing to participate in conversations now that she’s an avid talker.
 

“Unbelievable…and you’re Drake
Evans
, I suppose?” I nod my head, still trying to cap the anger this woman extracts from me. “My sister left half her inheritance to you, someone who’s not even related to her.”
 

“Who’s the other half left to?” Sophia asks with hope in her voice.
 

“A bunch of different charities.” Virginia’s voice is low and angry. She knows there is nothing she can do about it.
 

She pushes the paperwork into my hand and its right there in black and white. Mrs. Fields’s will states Mia and I will receive the funds in her two trust accounts with the amount totaling one hundred and forty thousand dollars. I practically fall to my knees, trying to fully understand what I’m reading. This means I won’t have to worry about Mia’s college. I could buy a house or take a vacation. I won’t have to worry about how I will be able to feed my daughter the next day. I’ve never had serious money problems, but knowing I have this will keep my mind at peace. Mrs. Fields has made sure Mia will be taken care of, and it’s a gesture I will never be able to repay.
 

“What a complete waste of our time.” Rebecca storms from the apartment with Sophia hot on her heels.
 

Zoe’s mom just looks us up and down then stares intently at Mia again. I stand directly in her line of sight, unsure what she’s planning to do. “Well…at least she looks like you, but if you’re smart, you’d take my advice and get a test. Like I told you before, my daughter is shameless.”
 

I can feel Zoe’s defeat sink into my back as her mother cuts her down once again. She is a heartless woman and I hope I will never have to see her again. “Virginia, Zoe may be all the things you say she is, but at least she’s true to herself. She doesn’t have to pretend to be something she’s not. Unlike you, who is willing to believe a rapist and pig instead of their own daughter. And all to ensure that you’ll never have to abandon your comfortable lifestyle.”
 

Without a word in response, Virginia storms from the apartment, slamming the door in her wake.
 

I take Mia from Zoe’s arms. I can tell at any moment she’s about to break down. Who wouldn’t after someone that vile has said something just as vile to her?
 

“She mean, Daddy,” Mia states out into the open. “She mean to Zoe.”
 

I kiss her on the head and reply, “I know, baby. She was not a nice person. Why don’t you go play with your puzzles so Daddy can talk to Zoe?” I set her down on the floor and Mia goes running down the hallway toward her toys.
 

As soon as Mia is out of sight, the tears begin to fall and Zoe breaks down again. When I pull her into my arms and pick her up, she nestles into my chest, crying her broken heart into my shirt. Her body is trembling and I want to take all her pain away. I know firsthand what it’s like to be abandoned by your parent. It’s a pain you can never get rid of. It’s always there, lingering in your heart, and in weak moments, that pain resurfaces, leaving destruction in its wake.
 

I walk to the couch and sit with Zoe on my lap, letting her finish her rant of tears. Moments later, she sits up, wiping the tears off her cheeks. The whites surrounding her blue eyes are bloodshot and the skin surrounding them is red and puffy. Even in her emotional state, she is still beautiful.
 

“Well, it looks like I’ve got an apartment to clean out. I’m not sure where to begin.”
 

I’m stunned momentarily.
 

Initially, the major attraction to Zoe was the fact that she was never going to be a permanent fixture in Sulfur Heights. She specifically told me she was going to leave after a couple of months. But now, I don’t know how I really feel about her leaving. Over the time she’s spent here, we’ve grown to be friends. I feel comfortable with her, something I haven’t felt since Presley’s death.
 

For the first time since meeting her, I’m beginning to realize how much I think about Zoe and how beautiful she really is—inside and out. From the day our eyes met, I knew she is unique, but there has been something behind her eyes that attracted me to her, and now, whatever I felt that night is starting to take over some of my painful thoughts. We’ve spent a lot of time together, and the more time I spend with her, the more I feel that attraction—an attraction beyond the physical.
 

I want to be her friend. I don’t want her to leave, but if she stays, will she want
more
? Can I give the
more
she deserves to have? The answer scares me, knowing I will never have it in me. Eventually, I will lose her just like I’ve lost everyone else I’ve gotten close to in my life. Soon, it will be time to cut those ties and it has to be done before the
more
finally settles in.
 

Zoe shifts on my lap, taking me out of my trance. I nod to her question, however I’m overcome once again by the feeling of loss.
 

Zoe
 

I feel like I’ve been put through the spin cycle of a washing machine, watching my reality spin out of control when my mother finally leaves.
 

I was stupid to hold on to the sliver of hope that my mother might want to reconcile our pasts. When she left, I finally grieved for the relationship I will never have back. Now that Connie is gone, there’s no reason for her to see me again. As it turns out, she didn’t care about Connie, either, only her money.
 

Drake recognizes my breakdown brewing, that it’s on the brink of exploding, and acts quickly so I don’t have to upset Mia. As soon as she’s out of sight, I fall apart, landing in his arms. This wouldn’t have been possible to go through without him, and I will never be able to repay him for the strength he’s given me since I’ve been here.
 

When I finally calm down enough to think, I realize I am responsible for taking care of
Connie’s property, but I don’t know what I will do with it. I could probably sell it or take it to Goodwill, but the thought of doing either is sickening. When I speak out loud my concerns, Drake vanishes from the conversation, withdrawing inside himself as he tends to do so often. However, it’s been awhile since I’ve had to see it.
 

“Are you okay?” I ask, taking in the pained look on his face.
 

Drake shakes his head and looks into my eyes. “Yes, I was just thinking.” He picks me up slightly, removing me from his lap, and then stands to his feet.
 

I’m not sure what he’s thinking, but I’m dying to know. I would love to spend a day in his head to understand what makes him work and why he acts the way he does. I want to understand how he copes with everything he’s been through, which I still haven’t disclosed that I know about.
 

“You could sell it or if you need to get rid of it quickly, you could put it on the curb. People around here would have her stuff gone in seconds.”
 

Get rid of it quickly
, the words are floating in the air and its then that I realize he wants nothing more from our relationship. I knew this. I knew the moment Connie passed he would be done with our friendship, if you could even call it that, and close himself off. He’s said from the first time we had sex, he could never give me
more,
and until this very moment, I never believed his words were true.
 

Defeated, I respond, “Yeah, I guess you’re right. I will keep what I can and get rid of the rest.” My heart is filling with pain once again. I just want to be alone to wallow in it. “I’m going to lie down for a little bit. You can stay if you want.”
 

“Nah, I won’t bother you. Mia’s probably ready for dinner anyway. Do you want me to bring you anything?” Drake sits back down on the couch next to me, only this time he’s a couch cushion away.
 

I shake my head no and look down at my hands, trying like hell to hold back the tears. I feel his arms wrap around me as Drake pulls me into his side. “You know, Zoe, I know what it feels like to be in your shoes.”
 

“You know what it’s like to lose a loved one?” I ask, hoping he will finally come clean about what’s happened to Presley. I want him to tell me, to wrestle it out of himself, then maybe he will finally be free of his emotional prison and be able to move forward with his life—with me.
 

“Yes, but that’s not what I’m talking about.” I lean back and look into his black eyes as they travel back to the past. “My mother didn’t want me, either. If you haven’t been able to tell, I’m not blood related to my brothers.” I nod my head, realizing just then how different he looks from the rest of them. For one, his skin is darker and it’s clear he’s bi-racial, but his actual features look nothing like the rest of them. “My mother decided drugs were more important than her child. She basically traded me for heroin to my brother’s mom. She discarded me like a piece of trash, not thinking twice about what she was doing.”
 

I am stunned speechless sitting next to him. I’m glad he is telling me something about himself, however I’m shocked at what I am hearing. “I was taken in by Mrs. Evans, but it was Reggie who raised me. She was a horrid woman and overdosed a few years after I lived there. Reggie was eighteen and adopted me and then became all of our legal guardians. I am grateful
for what my brother has done. I wouldn’t change it for anything, but I still feel the loss of my mother. Until I met Mrs. Fields, I never really had that.”
 

I say nothing. I don’t dare interrupt because he’s talking and maybe it will lead to the major issues he’s battling. I only sit next to him and listen, nodding every once in a while so he knows I’m still paying attention to him. Drake takes a deep breath and I can feel the conversation moving toward Presley and the loss he’s experienced.
 

“She’s been there for me since…sin—” Drake abruptly stops. He doesn’t go any further and I know from experience to not pry. Once he’s ready, he’ll spill it. I wonder if I’ll still be around when that day comes. “Look, Zoe, you don’t have to leave. I know that was your original plan when you moved here, but you don’t have to go. Not right away, anyway.”
 

A small smile surfaces at the corner of my mouth, knowing that he’s just given me a little bit of his more without actually realizing it.
 

Chapter 21
 

Drake ~ Three Months Later
 

We’ve successfully made it through the holidays, and the New Year has come and gone. Nothing much has really changed since the night after Mrs. Fields’s funeral.
 

I clearly remember the feeling of loss, knowing Zoe was going to be leaving. Why wouldn’t she? So I asked her to stay in a roundabout way. The thoughts were raging inside of me and I was trying to convince myself she needed to go for her own good and mine, but when she started talking about cleaning out Mrs. Fields apartment, I didn’t want her to go. I took one look at her broken state, her feeling of abandonment, and I caved.
 

I will never be able to give her more. I can’t give her that emotional part of me, but I can be her friend. Well, friend with benefits. The relationship seems to be working for us.
 

Zoe spent Thanksgiving with us as well as Christmas. Putting her ingrained southern hospitality to use, Delilah wanted to host Christmas dinner at her and Jake’s new place. Zoe got a small glimpse of the Evans family when we had Thanksgiving with Mrs. Fields, but my brothers and Darcie were on their best behavior then. When actual Thanksgiving came around, she was baptized by fire, so to speak, when she had dinner with us. All of us together can be overwhelming, to say the least. Zoe sat quietly, observing and soaking up the various personalities that make us unique. However, it wasn’t until Christmas dinner where Zoe was welcomed to the chaos, Evans family style.
 

I was cringing because Zoe and I are not a couple and I was worried they would bring up Presley. I’m never going to be ready to address that with her. Needless to say, I was in a constant state of paranoia. Delilah spent hours getting the meal prepared and her house decorated. It looked like we were attending a formal dinner, only we were all wearing jeans, hoodies and sneakers except Delilah. She was wearing a dress similar to how she used to look. Her hair was all done up and she looked the opposite of how we all did. From the time we walked through the door, Zoe, Mia and I could hear Jake and Delilah going at it, and not in
that
way.
 

“…you could at least wear a shirt without grease on it!” She was nowhere to be seen, however Delilah was heard all throughout the apartment. Jake was standing in the kitchen, twisting the cap off an aged bottle of Irish whiskey he received for Christmas from Reggie while rolling his eyes.
 

“Tell her she’s crazy, Drake. She wants me to fucking dress up? Really? Are you kidding me right now? That woman pisses me off like no—”
 

Delilah hadn’t realized we were standing in the kitchen as she yelled back at Jake. “Jake! For the love of God you could dress decent one day in your life!”
 

“We’ve…what! I’m not changing my fucking shirt, cupcake. Now get over it!” Jake poured a glass of whiskey and then poured me one as well. I took the drink, sipping small mouthfuls and trying to ease my stress.