Surrender to Fate (Fate's Path Part One: A New Adult Romance Series) (10 page)

Sarah couldn’t get back to the ranch fast enough. Although she felt a tinge of guilt for leaving Adley in the field without an explanation, she knew she had no choice. How could she possibly explain to Adley what she was feeling when she couldn’t even define her feelings to herself? Sarah burst in through the front door and raced up the stairs to her parents’ room. She collapsed onto their bed, unable to stop the silent tears that fell from her cheek to the pillowcase. After finally quieting her tears, she laid quietly and heard the sounds of the ranch outside. Those sounds were her life now. The ranch… in California. Colorado was becoming more and more of a distant memory. But what about Will? Sarah closed her eyes as she asked the question that scared her the most.
Was Will becoming a distant memory, or was what they had still real?

And then there was Adley. Sarah couldn’t deny that she had become somewhat captivated by him. Not only did she find herself relishing the time spent with him and their conversations, but there was something about the way he looked at her. The way she would look up to find him staring at her with his emerald eyes left her unbalanced. Partly, it excited her to know how he obviously couldn’t keep his eyes off her. But the other part of her felt nervous because of that. Her mind took her back to looking up at him as he caressed her face. She felt her heartbeat quicken at the memory of his touch, remembering how he looked at her with the sort of intensity that both excited and scared her, and the kiss. The moment Adley’s lips touched hers; everything was different. When it came to Adley, she couldn’t help feeling like she was playing with fire, but that somehow it would be a crime to not let it burn.

Sarah sat up and swung her legs off of the bed. She stared for a long while at the old trunk that held the few treasures of her family. She slid off the bed and knelt in front of the trunk, unclasped the brass locks, and slowly lifted the lid until it stayed open. She peered inside, almost afraid to touch the pieces that had last seen daylight in Colorado. She ran her fingers over the embroidered tea towels that Catherine had made for her mother. Catherine had hand stitched blue mountains and evergreens above the words “Always Together,” which had been beautifully sewn in cursive lettering. Sarah’s eyes burned with fresh tears and she traced the words with her fingertip. Next to the tea towels was a framed photograph of her parents and Catherine and Henry standing together in the front yard of the Ellises’ house. The camera had caught them all four in blatant laughter, with Edward’s and Henry’s arms draped over each other’s shoulders, and Anne’s and Catherine’s arms locked at the elbows. Sarah closed her eyes and could almost hear what that must’ve sounded like. She set the photo down and pushed a few of Matty’s childhood playthings out of the way until her eyes fell upon her treasure. It was the only thing she cared about bringing from Colorado.

She gingerly lifted the wooden box out of the trunk and cradled it in her palm. Her eyes slowly traced the carving of the circles as she brought the box to her lips. Will had told her that when she needed him, his kiss was here, and that he would always be with her. She brought the box to her lips and gently kissed the carving, and in that split second, she thought she could actually feel William’s lips on hers. She looked at the carving as a teardrop fell and soaked into the wood. She had her answer. Will was not a fading memory. He was still just as much in her heart as he was the day he gave her this box. She suddenly felt so foolish for even entertaining the feelings she felt when she was with Adley. They were nothing compared to Will.

A faint smell of pine trees wafted up to her as she pried the lid off of the box. She picked up one of the brittle pine needles and snapped it in half just to hear the familiar sound of the pines. As if she were afraid of shattering it, she lightly pinched the postage stamp and lifted it off the bed of needles. This was a treasure, too. This was her link to William. She knew how precious it was, and how she must guard it with extreme care. Who knew when she would be able to procure another stamp. As much as she hated to use it, she also couldn’t wait to finally write to William. She had so much to share with him. The thousand-mile trip, the ranch, the animals, the garden, her father’s new employers, Oscar and Ellie...and then, in the moment of making her mental list, it came crashing down with the force of a freight train on Sarah’s chest: Adley. She swallowed hard, looked straight ahead, and asked herself out loud, “Do I tell him about Adley?”

“Tell
who
about me?”

Adley’s voice jolted her out of her quandary and she spun around to find him standing at the top of the stairs. Sarah was instantly infuriated at his nerve to enter her home without so much as a knock. “
What
are you doing here?” The fury was so sharp in her voice that it actually surprised her. She fumbled with the box and the lid so abruptly that stamp flitted to the floor like an aspen leaf in autumn.

“Don’t be mad at me, Sarah, please. I knocked, and when there was no answer, I got worried and wanted to come in and check on you. To make sure you were all right.”

“I’m fine. Leave!” Sarah flung out her words almost as forcefully as she flung her arm out and pointed the way for him to immediately retreat.

“Sarah, don’t be mad, please?”

Without another word, Sarah looked at him and pointed, reiterating where he needed to go.

Any further attempt to reconcile with Sarah at that particular moment would be disastrous for him. He lowered his gaze and whispered, “Okay, I’ll go. I’m sorry, Sarah.”

Sarah watched him turn and walk down the stairs and heard the front door open and gently close. She hadn’t realized how heavily she was breathing and tried to take a deep breath to calm herself. She looked down at the box, and then realized in complete dismay that the stamp was no longer in her hand.

In a panic, she slid her knees back and frantically searched the floor for the stamp. When her eyes finally landed on it, she sighed in vast relief and held it to her chest. But that relief was soon replaced with annoyance.
How dare he? Did he really knock, or just take it upon himself to come in here? How long had he been standing there?
But something else was bothering her that she couldn’t refute. Obviously, she was upset about Adley bursting in on her, but she wondered if she was equally upset that Adley now knew that there was a “him” in her life? What moments before felt like unwavering feelings for Will, were now in question. That realization left her with a knot in her stomach, and she wasn’t sure what she wanted to do first—write the letter to Will, or go find Adley.

It was clear that either way, there would be consequences that Sarah hadn’t fathomed. She wanted to hold on to Will, who was clearly still in her heart, but allowing the advances from Adley, who clearly wanted her in his arms, was proving impossible to resist. Will’s face was undeniably the one that came to her when she thought of love. But she knew she had to have a realistic expectation for her future. There was no guarantee that she would ever even lay eyes on him again. She had earlier admitted that California was, without a doubt, her life now. Did that, by design, include Adley as her life as well, and possibly her future?

Amid the confusions swirling around her mind, she knew the one person who could help her. The one person who unequivocally had Sarah’s best interest at heart. And despite their differing opinions at times, Sarah knew that she could completely trust her. Her mother. And if there was ever a time that Sarah needed her mother’s compass, it was now, more than ever. For several weeks after the move, Sarah had harbored harsh feelings for her parents for uprooting her from her home, but those ill feelings had begun to fade with time, and she knew deep down that her mom was her best friend and probably always would be.

Sarah found her mother behind the little house hanging the wet laundry on the line to soak up the warm Southern sunshine. She hummed with two clothespins clasped between her lips. Sarah bent over and without a word, starting pinning one of her father’s shirts to the line. Anne eyed Sarah, but she stayed quiet and continued with the laundry.

After several minutes and the crease deepening in Sarah’s brow, her mother broke the awkward silence. “Sarah sweetie, this is a welcome surprise: your company and help.”

“Hi, Mama,” Sarah tried to emulate her mother’s upbeat tone, but she knew that was going to be impossible. She wanted to continue but just didn’t seem to know where to start. It seemed so long ago that she and Will forged their commitment that she believed would stay true. But the recent interactions and the undeniable allure of Adley was threatening to undermine that belief. In fact, that summed up her whole impasse… Will or Adley?

Anne continued with her duties, and Sarah noticed that the pile of wet clothes was dwindling and her mother would soon be off to her next chore. “Mama, can I ask you something?” Sarah praised herself for at least beginning the conversation. Now, if the rest of it would be as easy, but she knew that it wouldn’t.

“Of course, what’s on your mind?”

“Well, I mean, I was wondering about…” Sarah simply could not find the words that would allow her to skirt the real issue but still come away with the answers she needed. But then she realized that she would not have to even mention Will or Adley, she simply needed to ask her mother about how she and her father had fallen in love, and her mother would be none the wiser. “When you and Daddy met, how did you know that he was the one you were going to marry?”

Anne smiled, and Sarah knew she had failed at being covert. “Well, sweetie…that is one of life’s biggest decisions, isn’t it? But, also one of the easiest. At least it ought to be easy, I should say.” Anne pinned the last sock to the line and looked at Sarah. “When your father and I met, it was like finding the one puzzle piece needed to fill an empty spot in my soul. It was something that I felt at my very core.” Anne placed her hands on her chest. “I just knew that, while my life would indeed go on without this man, I wasn’t sure if my heart would ever truly beat if I couldn’t spend my life loving him.”

Sarah searched her mother’s eyes, and she could feel the devotion and the passion that her mother so clearly felt for her father. Sarah tried to imagine what her own soul looked like, missing the piece needed to complete it, and willing herself to feel the answer. Was Will the missing piece? And if he was, would she even have the chance to spend her life loving him? He was a thousand miles away, and it was beginning to feel like the last time she looked into his eyes was a lifetime ago.

“Does that help, sweetie?”

“Uh, well…I don’t know. You say it should be easy, but I guess what I’m thinking about is more complicated.”

Anne smiled tenderly at her daughter and put her arm around her. “I wish I had the answer for whatever you are questioning. Sorry to say, there is only one person who ever truly knows what the heart wants, and that is you, darling.”

“Yes, but what if your heart and your head are telling you two different things? How do I know which one to listen to?”

“Well, if you listen carefully, one will speak the loudest to you.”

“I just don’t know, Mama, I feel so confused. And a little scared.” Sarah’s hope of remaining stoic throughout a seemingly innocent conversation with her mother was clearly not coming to fruition.

“Scared of what?”

“Scared of...making the wrong decision.” Sarah looked at her mother, with eyes that begged to just be told what do, and take the decision out of her hands.

Anne ran her fingers through Sarah’s hair lovingly. “Sweetie, we are all afraid of making the wrong choices. But usually, we know deep down what the right decision is, it’s just following through with it that’s the hard part.”

Sarah hugged her mother and walked to the front of the house. She stood on the front stoop and realized that in order to clear her mind, a walk would do her some good. As of right now, she couldn’t decipher what part of her had the more compelling argument, her head or her heart. And if her mother was right, as she often was, Sarah would need to listen carefully to which was speaking with the most veracity.

She walked down the knoll behind the barn that led to a field dotted with grazing cattle. Never had Sarah missed King’s Creek as much as she did right now. What she wouldn’t give to be able to sit along the bank and listen to the gurgle of water over stones. But dwelling on King’s Creek would do her no good now, especially since that tugged on her heart with a force almost equal to that of Will. The field would suffice. It was quiet and away from everything and, more important,
everyone
who threatened to distract her.

She found a small clump of trees that provided shade and a rustle of leaves in the wind that reminded her of the aspen trees. She sat and leaned up against one of the tree trunks and admired the view. How different it was from Colorado, but with a beauty all its own, nonetheless. Leaning her head back and closing her eyes, she attempted to clear the disorder in her mind and take careful note of her heart and her head, and which was more resounding with the course that could be deemed as the right decision.

The majority of her life was spent in Colorado, and with Will. And right up until the night of the community picnic, she had no reason to believe that her
entire
life would not be spent with both of them, as well. Almost every childhood memory had Will as a part of it. Every daydream she had as she grew into a young woman was also comprised entirely of Will. There was no doubt that her entire past was bound by one common denominator, William Harston.

She summoned the memory of the morning at King’s Creek when she and Will had met to tell each other goodbye. The torture of looking in his eyes for the last time was a pain that Sarah was certain she would never forget, and the stinging of fresh tears told her it was a memory that was still very much a part of her. But the one thing that she could not forget, were his words to her, and her words to him. He had refused to tell her goodbye, and implored her to remember what they had promised to each other. That someday, they would be together, and make each other happy. She promised him that she would remember. Me Ware Wo. She
promised
. She would’ve had to have been deaf to not hear what her heart was screaming out to her now.