Sunrise for Two (22 page)

“
It's just a
bit difficult to come back.” She felt the tears sliding down her
face again and moved closer to him. “Sorry,” she added awkwardly,
“I'm so glad you've come and I know you're not having much
fun.”

“
I just want
to be close to you,” he said simply, “I came downstairs just in
case I'd find you here, I was missing our hot chocolate
tradition.”

She smiled at him, and
for the first time since he arrived, he saw genuine pleasure in her
eyes. “I've been missing it too.”

“
How are the
preparations going?”

“
Well it's a
challenge, the bride is expanding, the groom keeps rewriting the
vows, and Helen's horse ate most of the table
decorations.”

“
Sounds like
fun.”

“
I know,” she
paused then added with a shy smile, “I'm missing Julia, usually we
get to talk about everything, but she's so preoccupied. All she can
focus on is Mike and the baby.”

Chris held her hand and
looked at her expressive face, he could see the tentative trust in
her eyes. He knew how private she was and he felt dizzy at the
prospect of this gentle insight. “It sounds like you've got some
worries,” he said finally.

She grinned at him,
acknowledging his careful attempt, then she closed her eyes and
trusted him. “I told Julia I didn't want to be her bridesmaid,
Olivia is desperate for the part, and every time I think about the
logistics I cringe.”

“
The
logistics?”

“
Well Julia
wants me to carry her bridal train, so that means Lib is pushing my
chair. When I asked Julia if she would reconsider her choice she
cried for an entire day. So I'm going to do it, but I know I'll
look ridiculous.”

“
No you
won't,” he said softly, “you'll look beautiful and regal and
elegant, and I'm going to kiss you in front of everyone because I'm
incredibly proud to be here with you.”

“
Thank you.”
She felt the tears starting to slide again and held his hand very
tightly.

“
Tell me what
you need.” he said, “I would give you anything you
wanted.”

She smiled at
him, remembering when she had used those words, and hearing his
careful apology. She wanted to ask him if he loved her, if he would
commit himself to her and share his life and his heart and try for
a baby with her. But the prospect of her lonely public journey down
the aisle had knocked her confidence, and she couldn't bear any
more
bruises with the ghosts of her
childhood crowding her.

“
A back
massage,” she said softly.

“
Of course
beautiful.” He followed her back up to her bedroom, carefully
remembering the route. He had hated not knowing where she was in
this intimidating mansion.

Her bedroom was a book
lined sanctuary, and the reality of her confined adolescence
intensified the protectiveness in his heart. He sat down beside her
on the bed and gently unbuttoned her shirt. He was acutely aware of
what had been taken from her in this room, and he shut down his
intense attraction for her, keeping his touch intimate, but without
the searing shared sexuality that still took his breath away.
Gently he helped to get comfortable, he could feel her
self-consciousness undermining the physical closeness they were
starting to share and it made him ache for her that the friend she
loved so much was forcing her to face so many demons.

Her shoulders were
knotted and sore, and slowly, carefully he soothed away her pain
and her tension and smiled when he heard her breathing change. He
wanted to climb into bed and hold her tightly, but he was pretty
sure the rules of this complex family would not support that. So he
savoured the sight of her lovely profile and pulled up the covers
around her throat. Then he looked up at intimidating array of
literature on her shelves and thought about the words he was trying
to say to her. How could the man who had spent the best part of his
life discussing rugby find the right way to tell an elegant
educated woman that he loved her? He couldn’t think of an answer
and he walked back down the corridors and didn’t look too closely
at the shadowy suit of armour that he passed.

Harry woke up feeling
better than she had done all week. She felt a hand gently squeezing
her arm, and she opened her eyes and smiled in surprise when she
saw Julia looking at her. “Hey,” Julia said softly, “sorry to wake
you, I just wanted us to have a moment alone together.” She
squeezed her friends hand took a breath. “How are you feeling
Harry?”

“
How are you
feeling? This is your day.”

“
I know, and
I can’t quite believe it. I don't want it to change everything for
us. I mean know loads of things are changing and they’re going to
keep changing, but I really couldn’t do it without you, and I'm
really sorry I've been such an evil princess this week.” She moved
closer to Harry and touched her face. “The thing is I'm so proud of
you. So proud to be able to say you're my best friend, and I just
wish you could see yourself as I see you.” She paused and added
unsteadily. “Tell me that you want to be doing this with me? Even
just a little bit.”

“
Oh honey of
course I do, I just wish I was on my feet.

“
I love you
the way you are Harry, I've never known you any other way. Now
let's get dressed so I can watch you drink champagne.”

At the other end of the
old house Chris pulled on his expensive suit. He didn’t stop to
look at the way his shoulders filled his jacket or the mesmerising
contours of his trousers, but he did straighten his tie before he
slipped out into the daunting hallway and tried to remember the way
to her bedroom.

Harry was examining her
appearance in her bridesmaids dress with rather more care. She
still had mixed feelings about her highly visible role in the
proceedings, but she replayed the words Chris had told her, holding
them close to her heart. If Julia only wanted one person in this
hurried version of the happiest day of her life, then she was going
to be brave.

Chris knocked tentatively
on the door, and felt short of breath. The first thing he noticed
was her face and then her dress, the pale colours accentuating her
skin and her eyes. She made him think of wood nymphs and Greek
legends, and he ached to take her in his arms. 

“
Hi,” he said
softly, and watched her smile catch her eyes.

“
Wow Chris,
you look hotter than usual.” Olivia said appreciatively, and
offered him a glass of champagne. He was holding the long stemmed
translucent elegance when the penetrating voice of Julia's father
echoed through the house. The man with military bearing stepped
loudly into the room, flanked by Harry’s parents.

Libby did all the
introductions, and dispensed more champagne, she saw the anxiety
settle like a vice over her sister when her mother appeared in the
room, particularly when the elegant woman was introduced to Chris.
She held her breath when he spoke to her, but she had
underestimated him and her mother actually smiled.

“
You look
good in that dress,” the old soldier told Harry approvingly. He
turned to Chris and looked up at the big handsome man, “fine
looking woman, make sure you look after her.” Chris watched her
smile again, and for a moment her dark eyes held his, he realised
then that he just needed to be honest, and fought a rather
Neanderthal urge to carry her back to his room and kiss her until
her head was spinning.

“
I’d like to
speak to my girl for a moment,” said Julia’s father, and they
disappeared into one of the warren of rooms beyond.

“
Harry can we
grab you?” asked her father, and she nodded and watched rather
wistfully as Libby led Chris and Olivia downstairs.

Lady Caroline sat down on
the bed, and for once she spoke to her daughter at eye level “Do
you want me to push your chair today?” Her mother asked, and Harry
blinked at her in surprise.

“
I think Lib
is really looking forward to it,” she said finally, and her mother
smiled at her. “Of course, well remember how proud we are
darling.”

Harry smiled back at her,
and found herself caught in a rather awkward hug, then she watched
her parents depart, and thought of all the times in her childhood
when she had ached for her mother to hold her.

“
Hello,” said
the deep voice that made her tingle, he sat down beside her and
took her hand. “You look astonishingly gorgeous, if I was good at
romantic stuff I’d compare you to all sorts of lovely
things.”

“
I think
you’re romantic.”

“
Thank you
Harry.”

“
I don’t know
if I can have children,” she said suddenly, “I mean there’s no
reason that it should be harder for me, but I’ve had such bad luck
with physical stuff, and I want children so much.” She felt the
tears sliding down her face, and smiled ruefully at him. “Sorry to
be so intense.”

“
Intense is
good.” he said tenderly, and for the first time since the fire had
torn his life apart he uttered the words she had been longing for,
“I love you, I’ve been wanting to say that from the first time I
kissed you.”

Harry felt the tingle in
the base of her stomach, he loved her, he actually loved her. He
had watched her awkward transfers a hundred times, he knew how
tired she got and he still desired her. “What about children, and
my scary mother and…” she paused and said very softly “the fact
that I can’t walk?”

“
If it
doesn’t happen naturally we can adopt, I wish someone had taken me
in, and your mother smiled at me, so that seems like it might be
okay, and even if it takes time we can work at it, we’ll both want
to get it right for your sake.” He pulled the box out of the subtly
floral waistcoat that Julia had forced him to buy and knelt down in
front of her. “Harry if I could go back in time then I would change
that moment when I was an insensitive idiot. The fact that I was
behaving like such a bully just hit home to me when I saw your
chair. But I want you to know that it doesn’t make you even the
slightest bit less attractive. You make me smile, you turn me on,
and when I'm with you I lose track of time, that's so much more
important than walking.” He opened the box and held it out to her,
“The past two months have been the happiest time I’ve had since I
lost my family. I chose this myself, I hope you like it, I hope you
say yes. Marry me Harry and I promise I’ll look after you whenever
you need me to, and hold my breath when you’re being stubborn and
independent.”

The day passed in a blur
after that, Helen had overseen the transformation of the ballroom.
Flowers hung from the dark fittings and the cold shades of winter
were lit by candles and fairy lights. The guests started to arrive
and Harry sat in the dining room keeping up a string of encouraging
remarks while her mother’s hairdresser transformed Julia’s unruly
style. In the big space next door she could Libby and Olivia
keeping the psychiatry community and the retired soldiers from
killing each other. The drinks kept flowing and when Harry held her
train and felt the familiar demons of self-consciousness making her
want to curl up and hide, she looked at the ring on her finger.
Chris was waiting for her at the top of the aisle. She could feel
his love and his pride and when she drew closer she lost herself in
her tender blue eyes. She had found someone to hold her
hand.