Sunrise for Two (21 page)

“
Shall we get
some sleep Harry?”

“
That sounds
really good.”

Tentatively he reached
out to hold her, and when he heard her gentle murmur of approval,
he held her tighter. He wanted to tell her that he loved her, he
wanted to get down on one knee and propose. She belonged with him,
she made all sorts of aches and longings in his heart disappear,
and he wanted to claim her very firmly as his own. Harry relaxed
into sleep, and his mind wandered back to the moment when he had
thought she had been hurt again. It made him feel sick, as did the
thought of losing his tentative right to hold her so very
close.

He listened to the sound
her breathing and decided that he would need to get some advice
about how quickly he could tell her of his feelings. He thought
briefly about talking to Mr Patel, but he still hadn’t quite
forgiven him for the disaster of his first night in her bed, and he
thought of the computer technician next door and smiled. For a man
with such bad dress sense he understood women very well.

In the morning he brought
her coffee in bed, he had learned that she didn’t really like
talking until the caffeine kicked in. So he savoured the time in
her sleepy morning company right until the moment that his pager
sounded. Then he carried her into the shower and shared her space
and her body wash and she found herself starting to feel excited
that she might have met a man who could accommodate the
practicalities of her disability.

Julia ate her untouched
breakfast and shared a vivid account of their bedroom explorations,
leaving Harry with mental images that alarmed her. “What about
you?” Julia prompted her, “stop looking so dreamy and tell me what
happened, I’ve been worried about you.”

“
It was
amazing,” she paused, even with her closest friend, the limitations
of her paralysis were painful to verbalise, “let’s just say that
he’s very good with his mouth and his hands, and I seem to have
much more sensation than I thought.”

"I don't mean the
practicalities honey, I know I've been telling you stuff, but
that's just because I can't believe it's happening to
me."

“
He made me
feel beautiful, and sexy.” She smiled at her friend and explained
the glorious and unexpected feeling of being able to look at her
own hips and legs without feeling embarrassed, she had seen herself
reflected through his desire, and for the first time she had
tentatively imagined buying trousers that did more than obscure her
delicate limbs.

Julia hugged her then,
and they walked out to her little green car and argued comfortably
about the best line to finish their latest song for the band. Chris
arrived with sushi after work, she was so pleased that he found
himself filled with a level of performance anxiety that he had not
previously envisaged. He woke up early to look through her cookery
books and spent the rest of the week detouring to the deluxe
supermarket on the edge of town.

His first thought when he
woke up on Saturday was relief, him and Mike were going jogging
then buying meat for a final autumn barbecue. He had loved the look
on her face as she enjoyed his repertoire of food, but the thought
of beer and sausages was fantastic, and he couldn’t help pulling
her out of her pyjamas and savouring the sound of her pleasure. He
had rehearsed a hundred ways of telling her that he loved her, and
he hoped that she realised that he said it better with his
hands.

Chapter
thirteen

Harry was surprised when
her parents offered their house for the wedding. Julia appeared to
have learned less about the human body than even her closest
friends had suspected, and the preparations had been both joyous
and very rushed. Mike appeared quietly terrified, particularly
after an evening alone with Julia’s father, an evening he never
made reference to.

Chris was equally
surprised to be the best man, Mike explained that he could not
possibly choose between his loyal cohort of computer programmers,
and Chris organised an astonishingly successful weekend for him and
found himself enjoying computer games far more than he had
expected. Distractedly, he packed the morning suit chosen for him
by Julia, and wondered if he would be able steal a moment with
Harry. Since the weekend of Julia’s announcement, their time alone
had been far too limited for his liking, and he found that he did
not sleep at all well without her in his arms.

He collected Mike from
his flat and followed the motorway out of town that Harry had
suggested. She had been at her parent’s house for most of the past
week, and their brief conversations had been filled with lengthy
accounts of flowers and table settings. He realised that he had
been looking forward to seeing her so much that his old anxieties
were creeping back, and he wondered how he would ever manage to say
the words he wanted to.

A fine layer of snow was
settling on the trees and also the remote country road. The
atmosphere in the car was slightly tense, Mike was a terrible
navigator and his vivid insight into his pre-wedding nerves was
alarming. His slightly repetitive discussion of his shotgun
nuptials and approaching fatherhood felt uncharacteristically
insensitive, Chris knew that if he was about to marry Harry, then
he would be the happiest man alive. The roads got smaller and the
houses got bigger and finally disappeared altogether behind an
enormous series of walls. They stopped at particularly imposing set
of iron gates and Mike got out and spoke into the buzzer. He
recognised the house from the news footage; big expanses of ivy,
chimneys and elegant wings. He pulled up beside Julia’s little
green car and they unpacked in silence.

A man his late thirties
in a dark suit opened the door, he greeted them by name in a strong
Scottish accent and lead them through to the lounge before
disappearing to make drinks. Harry was wearing an elegant dress
that swept almost to her feet, she greeted them warmly, but with an
edge of formality and introduced them to her cousin Helen and
Julia’s aunt and uncle. Chris sat down next to Libby, and was
pleased when she touched his arm in greeting. He watched the
interplay of people in the room, the way Harry kept the
conversation flowing, and the gentle and generous way she shared
information about herself. He learned that her cousin was
cataloguing the enormous library, and that she had a stutter and
tended to communicate very succinctly. Harry drew the people around
her into the conversation, but the spotlight was never far from
her.

The butler appeared with
more drinks, then announced Mike’s parents and his younger sister.
Mike had been worried about how his family would react, and the
reality was far worse than he had imagined. His mother had watched
all of the recent coverage of the fundraiser and the accident and
she relayed her knowledge in vivid detail. They followed Harry
through to the dining room and into a bewildering array of cutlery
and glasses, he watched her smile into an endless series of
questions, feeling the old protectiveness even on the eve of his
wedding. He knew her well enough now to know the subtle signs of
strain, she ate less than usual and her dark eyes were
unreadable.

Drinks were served in yet
another room and Mike stepped outside of his discomfort and looked
at the excitement and the pleasure in his mother’s eyes. Julia had
told him repeatedly that this ceremony was for everyone and he felt
angry with himself for being embarrassed by the people that loved
him. They had adjusted to a lot of changes in his life in the past
couple of months and if he was lucky enough to have a friend who
could add some magic then he knew he should simply be grateful. All
the same he was relieved when the night ended and the quiet butler
showed them all to their rooms.

Julia sat down close
beside the man she loved and handed him a map. “I’ll be waiting for
you,” she said with a grin, and Mike floated after his family and
thought about his astonishing good fortune.

Chris took a step closer
to Harry, and looked pleadingly at her sister, “Two minutes,” Libby
said with a grin, and he smiled his thanks and looked down at the
lovely woman.

“
You look
exhausted.”

“
Thanks
Chris, I’ve missed your flattering lines.”

“
I just don’t
have your calm way with words, you could talk your way out of a
hurricane. Sometimes I wonder if anything affects you.”

Harry looked up at him
then she took a mouthful of coffee, lifting up the cup with both
hands. “I’m not made of stone,” she said softly.

He opened his mouth,
wanting to explain how he felt, wanting to hold her in his arms,
but his two minutes were up, and he followed the quiet Scotsman up
the big sweeping staircase. “Do you know Harry well?” Chris asked
him.

The big man stopped and
looked at him. “You don’t really expect me to answer that do
you?”

“
I guess not,
I just find it hard to follow her sometimes.”

“
Perhaps you
should talk to her rather than me.”

“
I keep
trying, but whenever I’m around her I can barely think.”

The butler smiled at him
and opened the door to his bedroom, “I can’t say I blame you.” He
said softly.

Harry had swapped her
coffee for a glass of wine and the lounge for the big bed where she
had spent so much of her adolescence. Libby and Helen were sitting
on the bed looking at her, and Harry remembered hours of card games
and board games and book reading with the two women who had been
such loyal childhood companions. “Your verdict?” she
asked.

“
Well he’s
gorgeous.” Libby told her, and Helen nodded.

“
His
gorgeousness is not in question. In fact it’s the one thing that’s
never been in question. I’d just like some idea of what was going
on in that gorgeous head of his.”

“
Why?” Helen
asked.

“
You know
what Harry is like, she spent her whole childhood reading
everything in that library and now she’s looking for someone who
looks like a Greek god and talks like the boy who did your
homework.”

“
That’s not
fair, most of the time I’d be happy if he just said anything even
slightly positive.”

“
I
don’t.”

“
Yes but you
don’t say weirdly negative things either. He’s just a bit difficult
to understand, he drives all the way up here, then behaves in an
oddly cold fashion.”

“
He’s
probably feeling out of his depth honey, and you were doing a
fantastic impression of mother.”

“
You’re
supposed to be on my side.”

“
I’m always
on your side.”

“
I know,” she
took another mouthful of wine, “it would just be so lovely if he
could just give me a bit of reassurance.”

“
You’ve
always got us.” Libby said gently, while Helen found the pack of
cards in the same place as it always was.

There was a knock on the
door, and Lady Caroline and her husband appeared in the room. “I’m
sorry about the wheelchair,” Harry said apologetically, “my arm is
just not up to the crutches yet.”

“
It’s okay
Harriet.” Her mother said, she took a step closer to the bed. “Can
we throw you two out for a moment?” she added.

Harry watched their
departure in silence, it had been a long time since she had been
alone with her parents, the argument about her taking the job at
the hospital had weighed heavily on their already strained
relationship. Lady Caroline took another step towards the bed, she
looked for a moment as though she was going to touch her daughter’s
face, then she stiffly crossed her arms.

“
Darley’s
mother phoned us in tears, it seems he has decided to be honest
about everything, why didn’t you tell us what he had done to you at
university?”

Harry closed her eyes,
since his re-arrest, she had been able to put the man out of her
mind, “I thought you wanted me marry him.”

“
My beautiful
little Harry,” her mother said softly, “I know I don’t say it very
often, but you make me very proud.” Harry hid her disbelief very
convincingly, she didn’t think her mother had ever said that. “Tell
us about your doctor darling.” Her mother added, and just for a
second Harry thought that she tears brimming in her
eyes.

“
He’s a
surgeon mother, he’s rather brilliant in the operating theatre, and
he plays rugby. Also, he doesn’t mind about my legs.”

“
Is he going
to marry you?”

“
I don’t know
mother.”

The elegant woman stood
over her for a moment longer then she swept back out of the room
with her husband on her heels. Harry took another mouthful of wine
and wondered how her mother could make her feel so wretched in such
a small space of time. Libby and Helen returned and she buried her
head in her sister’s arms and cried until she fell
asleep.

The sound of an animal
call pulled Harry out of a dream where Chris was finally telling
her his feelings. The lonely reality of her childhood bedroom stung
further tears from her eyes. It unsettled her that she already
missed him so intensely and she slid out of bed, deciding that a
hot chocolate might make her feel better. She realised how long it
had been since she had made her own drinks at night, and the memory
of Chris dressed only in his pyjama trousers, all definition and
tender blue eyes slid under her defences. The light was on in the
lounge and she smiled to herself, imagining Mike pacing and
panicking. She thought of supportive things to say, then felt a
tingle when she saw Chris' long lean form stretched out on a sofa.
She reached out and touched his face, and he opened his eyes and
smiled at her. “I’ve missed waking up with you.” he said softly,
then his eyes filled with concern. “Are you okay
honey?”.