“You lied to me, Donovan.”
“And you lied to me.” Sighing heavily, he reluctantly stopped his seductive kisses and lifted himself up on his forearms. “Dammit, Lani, do you have any idea how much danger you could have been in?”
She smiled up at him, framing his scowling face with her palms. “Don’t be silly. I was with you.”
“I think it’s a toss-up,” he said finally.
She pressed her lips against his. “What?”
“Which one of us is going to drive the other crazier.”
Lani could feel his smile against her mouth. “You’re probably right,” she agreed cheerfully. “But think how much fun we’ll have in the meantime.”
With a groan that was part agreement, part anticipation, Donovan lowered his body onto hers, locking her securely under him with his thigh. That was the last either of them had to say for a very long time.
This was, Lani considered happily, as she awoke in Nate’s house the next morning, a delicious way to live. She leaned over and pressed a quick kiss against Donovan’s tanned cheek before getting up. Sliding out from under the sheet, taking care not to wake him, she left the house on her customary morning walk along the beach. The sharp tang of the salt air cleared her head, and the comforting swish of the warm tropical water against her ankles soothed the anxiety created by thoughts of Donovan’s inevitable return to Oregon.
Fully restored to her usual good humor after what could have been a horrific night, she practically skipped up the steps and entered the house. Her smile faded when she discovered Donovan on his phone. His dark frown left her no doubt that the call was business, not pleasure.
It’s the commissioner
, he scrawled on a notepad beside the phone.
Lani’s heart skipped a beat. It wasn’t time, she thought. They still had another week until New Year’s. But the frown lines that she remembered from his arrival on the island gave her the distinct feeling that this call was going to take Donovan away from her.
“I’ve got work to do. I’ll see you later,” she said.
Donovan caught her by the wrist. “Wait a minute,” he said before turning his attention back to his caller. “Jack, give me just a minute, okay? Something’s come up.”
He covered the phone with his free hand. “I thought, now that we’ve gotten Britton back safe and sound, that we were going to Fern Grotto Restaurant for brunch this morning.”
“We were,” she agreed. “But that was before the commissioner called.”
“He doesn’t have anything to do with us.”
Doesn’t he? Lani was tempted to ask. But that would be breaking the rules she had insisted on from the beginning. No ties. No commitment. Just two people—a man and a woman—enjoying each other for as long as their time together lasted. That was all this interlude with Donovan could be. It was all she could allow it to be.
“All right. He’s forgotten.” She touched her fingers to her lips, then his. “I’ll see you later.” Lani felt as if the forced smile was about to freeze on her face.
“Later,” Donovan agreed as she left the house.
As he watched her walk away down the beach, Donovan considered hanging up on the commissioner and following her, but prudence and self-discipline won out, and he reluctantly decided not to give in to the tempting impulse.
Besides, Donovan reminded himself, he and Lani had an agreement. No strings. No ties. It was without a doubt a practical, sensible rule. And he was nothing if not a practical, sensible man. Ignoring the little flicker of doubt in the back of his mind, Donovan returned his attention to the obviously harried man who’d interrupted his vacation in paradise.
Unable to keep her mind on her work, Lani paced the floor of her own house, determined not to think of Donovan. But that proved impossible as her rebellious eyes kept drifting toward the sparkling curve of coral sand, watching for him. Waiting for him.
“This is ridiculous,” she muttered, glaring out over the turquoise water. “You just got carried away. You can’t possibly love the man. His world is light-years away from yours.”
He was also not interested in commitment or permanency, she reminded herself firmly. He’d told her that from the beginning. To expect a future where none existed was sheer folly. And that, Lani considered, was the crux of her problem.
Annoyed with herself, she sat down at her rattan desk and turned on her computer, researching topics for a student version of
Jeopardy!
the library would be putting on in the new year. After all, she strongly doubted that Donovan was over at Nate’s house, fretting about their relationship. No, he was undoubtedly deeply immersed in the reason for the commissioner’s telephone call, his attention focused solely on his own future. His own ambitions. Determined to do likewise, Lani began to read.
“That must be some dynamite topic.”
As Donovan’s deep voice broke her concentration, Lani lifted her head, surprised to see him standing over her.
“I didn’t hear you come in.”
“I knocked, but your mind was obviously somewhere else.”
“Arizona.”
“Arizona?”
“It’s illegal to hunt camels in the state of Arizona,” she explained.
Donovan smiled. “I’ll keep that in mind the next time I visit Phoenix.”
Lani nodded. “I certainly hope you will. After all, it wouldn’t do for an FBI agent to be arrested for camel poaching.”
“The powers that be would probably hit the roof,” Donovan agreed easily as he pulled up a chair.
“And wouldn’t that be a disaster,” she muttered.
His brow furrowed in response to her acid tone. “Are we fighting?”
“No.”
He continued to study her thoughtfully. “Good. Because I don’t want to waste time fighting, Lani. Not with you. Not now.” He took her hand in his.
“Are you going to tell me what that call was about?” she asked, struggling to keep her voice steady as he brushed his thumb lightly over her knuckles. How was it that such an innocent touch could make her feel as if her bones were melting?
“I can think of better things to do than to talk about the commissioner.” The sexy gleam in his deep blue eyes reminded Lani that their relationship had been based on mutual pleasure.
“You’re not answering my question, Donovan.”
He ran his palm up her arm. “Why don’t we talk about him later?”
“Why not talk about him now?”
Muttering an oath, Donovan forced his mind off the satiny texture of Lani’s skin and back to their conversation. He didn’t want to waste time talking. Despite his need to make love to Lani, Donovan knew that by ignoring her repeated request, he would be giving her the idea that the only thing he wanted—or needed—from her was sex.
Though the sex was admittedly the best he’d ever experienced, Donovan knew that something else was happening. Something that he’d vowed to figure out by New Year’s. Unfortunately, his time had just run out.
“Martin Henderson, the current police chief, had a heart attack early this morning.”
Lani drew in her breath. “Is he—”
“He’s going to be all right,” Donovan said. “But it forces his retirement a few weeks early. At the moment, Portland is without a chief of police, which is the reason for the call. Now can we make love?”
“In a bit of a hurry, aren’t you?”
“I don’t have any choice. The plane leaves from Kauai in less than three hours to make a connecting flight in Honolulu to the mainline.”
Lani had been expecting this since the moment she had entered Nate’s kitchen and seen Donovan’s grim face. The news came as no real surprise. Why did she feel so miserable? She forced back the stinging tears behind her eyelids, vowing that she would not cry. She would not ruin what had been an idyllic holiday by behaving like a clinging female.
Annoyance was the safest emotion Lani was experiencing at that moment. Allowing it to surface, she struggled to keep her voice steady. “Don’t let me hold you up.”
“I want you to come with me, Lani.”
Lani struggled to read the real message in Donovan’s suddenly shuttered blue eyes. What was he asking of her? “To Portland? Why?”
“I don’t like the idea of being away from you,” he said. His calm tone concealed the fact that a giant hand seemed to be squeezing his gut in two. “I thought you might be feeling the same way.”
Lani felt as if she were treading on eggshells and didn’t particularly care for the sensation. She had always been the frankest one in the family—with the admitted exception of her grandmother—but this morning she found herself censoring not only her words but also her thoughts.
“Oh, Donovan,” she said regretfully.
He frowned, wishing, not for the first time, that women came with a manual. Had he misread what they’d shared? Had those blissful hours meant so much more to him than they had to her?
Donovan didn’t think so. He decided that for some inexplicable reason, Lani was still afraid to commit herself. And as much as he wanted to demand that she stay with him at least long enough to watch their grandchildren feeding frozen peas to Moby Dick’s progeny, he also didn’t want to push her into doing something she’d later regret.
He toyed with the ends of her hair. “You’d like Portland.”
“I always have,” she agreed. “How long would I be away?”
“I was hoping you’d want to move in with me. Indefinitely.”
“I don’t understand. I thought you were aiming for an FBI appointment.”
“I was. And maybe still will, down the road. But this is an equally good opportunity. And you’re the one who pointed out that I wanted to help people. Being a police chief is a good way to do that.”
“I’ve no doubt you’ll make a dandy chief,” she said. “Of course you’ll have to buy cases of those antacids you were popping steadily when you first arrived here, but the raise in pay should cover the increased medical bills.”
“I was under a lot of stress. That’s what this vacation was all about.”
“And you really don’t believe the stress will be worse when you get back to the city and take over the entire department?”
“It’ll be rough in the beginning,” he admitted. “But things will eventually calm down.”
“Will they?” she asked quietly.
His fingers tightened. “Okay, so maybe they won’t. But the pressure-cooker atmosphere comes with the territory, Lani. It’s a package deal.”
“If it’s so terrible, why do you want the job at all?”
“Because it’s a terrific opportunity.”
“Will it make you happy?”
Her words put him on the defensive by causing him to recall the conversation he’d had with Thomas. “Dammit, I’m not your father!”
“I didn’t think you were,” she said mildly.
“Yet you’re comparing me with him.”
“No. I’m only comparing your situations. My father was a highly respected surgeon, an important man—”
“Who didn’t exactly chuck it all to live out a Gauguin fantasy, Lani,” Donovan pointed out. He knew he was handling this badly but couldn’t seem to figure out an exit plan. “He didn’t stop being a doctor.”
“And there’s no need for you to stop being a policeman,” she insisted. “Just why do you have to be chief?”
How could she not understand? “For us!” he shouted. “Okay, sure, it’s a great offer and I’m proud to have been the one chosen. But it’ll be good for you. For us.”
Lani could only stare at him. “But I don’t want you to be a police chief, Donovan. Oh, I might feel differently if I thought it would really make you happy. But I don’t believe it will.”
“I suppose you’d be contented living with a mere cop?”
Lani wondered what was behind his acid tone. “Of course. If he loved me, I’d also be happy living with a beachcomber. As long as he was a happy beachcomber.”
“That’s easy for you to say when you live down here in Lotusland, talking to fish, reading fairy tales to kids, collecting seashells, and wishing on rainbows.”
That stung. Lani rubbed her throbbing temple with trembling fingertips even as she felt a painful fissure open up in her heart. “I certainly understand how it is to be driven, Donovan,” she said quietly. “Believe it or not, I used to be a workaholic myself.”
“You’re kidding.” He would have been no more surprised if Lani had suddenly told him that she was a Soviet spy.
She took a deep breath, wanting her voice to be strong. “No, I’m not. Six years ago, I was making quite a name for myself in television.”
“I know. Nate told me about your show. I watched it once. It was a lot better than I’d expected.”
“Damned with faint praise,” she murmured. “Believe it or not, in my world, I was nearly as important as you are in yours.”
He sat down on the arm of the chair and took her hand in his. “What happened?”
“Since you saw
Beauty Tames the Beast
, you understand the concept. It wasn’t like
The Bachelor
franchise, where the end result is a proposal, but if some romances came out of the season, ratings went up, so they were always encouraged. Which is why every contestant had to sign a contract that he or she wasn’t in a relationship.”
“Okay. That sounds reasonable.”
“The only problem was, one of the Beauties had broken up with her boyfriend and auditioned for the program as a way to get past the breakup. Which probably wasn’t the best idea, but hey, it wasn’t my job to judge. Just to be a producer, which was essentially wrangling the contestants—”
“Sounds like herding cats.”
“You’re close.” She liked that he got it. Maybe there was a chance for them, after all. “Anyway, a few weeks in, she realized she was pregnant. Which I’d already suspected, and when I asked her straight out, she told me the truth. But we were getting close to the end, and she was definitely an audience favorite. So both the senior producer, who, I suppose I should mention, I was sort of romantically involved with for a short time, and the owner of the show insisted I just let things play out. Which might have worked out.
“But the contestants themselves were living in a sort of Beverly Hills prison. They had their phones taken away, they didn’t get to watch any TV but movie DVDs, and they were totally cut off from the real world.”
“Which doesn’t exactly define ‘reality.’”
“Believe me, there’s very little reality about the concept. While, on our show, the drama wasn’t planned, it’s not that difficult, after everyone’s been forced together into such an environment, to play on various distrusts and paranoia. This particular woman was getting more and more stressed out because not only was she dealing with a first trimester of pregnancy, with all the morning sickness and hormone swings that entails, she couldn’t even tell her former boyfriend, he was going to be a father.