Authors: Nancy Thayer
She turned off Orange Street onto Main Street. The stores were still open, spilling light onto the brick sidewalks where people sauntered along, laughing and chatting, their clothes as brightly multihued as the flower boxes beneath the shopwindows.
Jim was waiting for her in front of Even Keel. He looked wonderful in khakis and a red cotton button-down shirt, and he was talking with another man. Of course he was; Jim couldn’t move a step in this town without running into a friend.
She saw Jim’s face light up as she approached. He introduced her to his friend, then escorted her into the restaurant. To her delight, they were seated in the garden patio at the back.
“How was your day?” she asked.
He told her about the house he was renovating, how a guy on his crew had injured his thumb with a band saw and had to go to the hospital to be stitched up. He asked about her day and she told him about working on her lightship basket at Sheila Lester’s and attending the noonday concert at the Unitarian church. Jim ordered a bottle of red wine, and they sipped it as they waited for their entrées to arrive. Above them, the night sky changed colors, paling from blue to a radiant dove gray. All around them the other diners were talking and laughing, but they seemed insubstantial to Marina, background for the center of the universe, this table, this moment, this man.
She had not been this happy for a long time.
The waiter set their plates before them. Salmon for her, prime rib for Jim.
“Oh,” Marina said. “That reminds me. I’ve invited your daughters to dinner tomorrow night. I told them I’d grill steak.”
Shocked, Jim said, “What?”
“I stopped by your house and asked your daughters to come to dinner. They chose tomorrow night.”
Jim put down his knife and fork. “I wish you’d asked me about this first.”
Now she was the one who was shocked. “Is there a problem?”
His face was troubled. “It’s just that it seems, well,
premature.
”
The word was like a slap in the face. Marina sat back in her chair, gathering her thoughts. “It’s only dinner, Jim. It’s not a serious commitment. It’s not even a suggestion that there ever will be a serious commitment. It’s just being neighborly. I’m living in their old Playhouse. I see them every day and they see me. It’s not like I’m
invisible.
” She thought she was going to cry.
Jim shook his head. “I know. It’s just that the situation is delicate. I suppose I’ve tried to protect the girls.”
“Do you mean in all these years they’ve never been invited to dinner by a woman you were dating?” Her voice was shriller than she’d meant it to be. Several other diners glanced her way.
Jim muttered, “I don’t think you should sound so judgmental. You don’t know the background.”
“I’d
like
to know the background,” she said quietly.
“I don’t want to talk about it here,” Jim told her. “Not out in public.” He picked up his utensils and set about eating as if he were performing a necessary task.
“Oh, Jim.” Marina leaned close to him and dropped her voice to a whisper. “I’m sorry. I had no idea this would upset you so much. I’m not trying to rush things with you. I’m not trying to make it seem as though you and I are
together.
I only thought it would be fun. And I suppose I thought it would be nice for your daughters to meet the woman their father is dating.”
“I understand,” Jim told her. “I’m sorry, too. It’s just—things are complicated.” He raised his eyes to Marina’s. For a moment, he seemed on the verge of a confession. Then he said, “Let’s talk about something else.”
But no other topic of conversation held their interest for long. Jim was clearly involved with his private thoughts and Marina just felt miserable.
After dinner, they strolled around town, listening to the street musicians, pretending to have a pleasant time. They walked out on the wharves, looking at the yachts anchored there. Clearly Jim didn’t want to talk about his daughters or his life, and Marina acted lighthearted, but she just really wanted to hide away in her bedroom and weep.
Finally it was time to go home. The streets were emptying of cars and people. The sky was dark, a quarter moon riding high overhead. As they wended their way down the narrow lanes to Jim’s house, even the birds in the trees were quiet. In some houses lights burned, spilling illumination and shadows on the streets and occasionally a door would open and people would come out, laughing, happy on this hot summer night.
When they got to Jim’s driveway, Marina said, “Jim. Come in for coffee, please?” She knew he understood what she was offering.
He sighed. “Not tonight, Marina. I’ve got to get up early tomorrow.” He walked her halfway down the drive before saying, “Good night, then.” And he turned and headed for his house, leaving Marina to walk to her little cottage alone.
As she organized the food for Thursday evening, Marina obsessed over Jim’s reaction. She ran their conversation over and over again in her mind, searching for any hints that would help her understand his response. She longed to ask Sheila Lester about him, but remembered how, when she’d asked Sheila about Jim’s wife’s death, Sheila had shut her off, telling her to talk to Jim about that subject. Part of the time she scolded herself for so eagerly, hopefully, stupidly inviting the girls to dinner. Part of the time she was angry at Jim for his bizarre behavior. It was only dinner! And if Lily hadn’t come in that night, she knew she and Jim would have gone to bed together. And enjoyed it. He was attracted to her, Marina knew it, and she felt there was some value in their desire, some significance. Some hope.
Still, she planned to behave with complete propriety when they all came to dinner. She would not touch Jim, she would not sneak an intimate glance his way, she would behave like someone’s maiden aunt. The girls would like her. She would like them. It would be a fun evening, not laden with whatever heavy memories Jim seemed to keep safeguarded and treasured.
Jim phoned in the afternoon to tell her he wasn’t going to be able to make it to dinner. The interior of a client’s house was behind schedule, and he was going to continue working with his crew so it would be ready when the family arrived in August.
Marina was stunned. “I’m sorry you won’t be coming,” she said, forcing her tone to be cheerful. “I know the girls will miss you. I’ll miss you, too.”
“They’re used to this,” Jim told her. “They know what summer’s like for me. But thanks for the invitation.”
His formality was an insult. She cursed as she put down the phone.
Well, she thought, so much for any chance of a relationship developing between them.
She prepared the dinner with all the care she’d have taken if Jim were coming. She made a potato salad with small red potatoes with their skins still on and capers and bits of dill. She made a green salad spiked with thin slices of pear and crumbles of blue cheese. She concocted meringues with raspberry sauce and whipped cream. She bought fresh Portuguese bread and several bottles of wine. She spread a blue tablecloth on the little table—a tablecloth she’d bought brand new at Marine Home Center, nothing secondhand.
She tucked daisies into a little white pitcher and set it in the middle of the table. She placed candles all around the cottage—to let the girls know she liked candlelight all the time, not just when entertaining a man.
She thought about wearing her shorts and tee shirt for dinner, but decided she didn’t want the girls to think she hadn’t dressed up because Jim wasn’t coming. So she pulled on a yellow sundress and a wild beaded necklace. She coated her eyelashes heavily with mascara and brushed her lips with pink color. When she scrutinized her face in the mirror, she saw how sad she looked, really. How sad her eyes were—just like they’d been a month ago, before she came to the island.
Damn, this was just unacceptable! So what if Jim Fox had lost interest in her. No, so what if she had acted
prematurely
, inviting his daughters for dinner, assuming he would enjoy this, assuming he was comfortable with his daughters knowing he liked her. So what if her rash action had driven Jim away, had cost her the undying love of the last good man on earth. She was not going to allow herself to snivel and whine. Men weren’t everything! She was still on a gorgeous island, she’d made friends, she’d feathered a dreamy little nest, and she would enjoy herself!
She put a Glen Miller record on her used record player. “… is that the Chattanooga choo-choo?” filled the room. She sang to it as she finished the dinner preparations, and she felt her spirits lift.
When the girls arrived, Marina could tell at once they’d been arguing. Abbie and Emma both greeted Marina pleasantly, but Lily clearly was not amused about being there.
“Oh, wow,” Abbie said. “You’ve done wonders, Marina!”
As the three women walked around studying the cottage, Marina studied them. The family resemblance was striking in the shape of their faces, but their individuality was distinct.
Abbie wore a faded Something Natural tee shirt with a short denim skirt and sandals. Her only jewelry was a wide silver cuff bracelet. She carried herself with a natural authority, no doubt because she was the eldest.
Emma wore baggy cotton trousers, a coral-colored linen shirt
tied at the waist, and turquoise and coral earrings. The sprinkling of freckles over her nose gave her an innocent appearance, but the depths of her dark eyes held sorrow, a sorrow Marina could understand.
Lily was the beauty of the family and she played it to the hilt. Her emerald tank top brought out the green of her eyes and accentuated her slender waist. Her skirt was a swirl of green, and everything about Lily sparkled. Her dangling earrings glittered with colored stones, bangle bracelets clattered on her arms, a gold chain glinted from around her ankle, and she even wore a toe ring with her sequined sandals.
Marina poured them all glasses of sparkling Prosecco mixed with peach nectar.
“Bellinis,” she told them. “It’s a girl drink, but since your father can’t come, I thought we could indulge.”
Lily brightened. “Dad’s not coming?”
“No. He phoned to say he’s working late.”
Lily couldn’t hide a smile. “Oh, too bad.”
“I can’t believe how you’ve changed this place,” Abbie said.
“The walls are such a dreamy blue,” Emma added. “And the pictures. They’re so interesting.”
“Compliments of the Madaket Mall,” Marina told them.
Lily asked, “How did you get out to the dump?”
“Sheila Lester took me,” Marina began.
Lily interrupted. “How do
you
know Sheila?”
Marina waited a beat or two before responding, indicating—she hoped—that she found Lily’s tone a little rude. Something childish within her wanted to say snarkily,
Through your father.
She bit back her annoyance. “I met Sheila when I volunteered to help with the library book sale. She’s giving me private lessons in making a lightship basket.”
“Sheila’s the best,” Emma said. “She knows everything about the island.”
Abbie asked, “Would you mind if I climbed the ladder and peeked at the loft? It’s just that I haven’t seen it in years.”
“Go ahead,” Marina told her.
Abbie went up the ladder. Emma followed. Lily followed her sisters. Marina relaxed, sipping her drink, listening to the girls as they
walked around the loft. Because the loft had no closets, Marina had bought plastic crates in a variety of colors and used them as she had in college like an open chest of drawers, her pastel tees and shorts folded neatly and stacked inside. She’d hung her skirts and dresses on hangers on the hooks nailed into the walls, and all the patterns swirled like abstract art.
“Oh, wow, this wasn’t here the last time I came up,” Lily said, and Marina knew she’d found the mirror.
Emma said, “Such careful workmanship. It must have cost a fortune.”
Abbie stuck her head over the edge of the loft. “Where did you get that seashell mirror?”
Marina smiled. “I made it.”
“You
made
it?”
“It’s not difficult. You just have to be patient. I gathered the shells whenever I walked on the beach, and soaked them in soapy water and dried them in the sun and arranged them the way I wanted them, then super-glued them on the frame.”
“Well, I’m impressed.” Emma carefully backed down the loft ladder. “I love what you’ve done up there.”
“It’s very summery, isn’t it?”
“Doesn’t it get awfully hot at night?” Emma asked.
“That’s why I bought that fan.” As she chatted with Emma, Marina strained to hear Abbie and Lily, still up in the loft. Abbie hissed at Lily, “Stop that, Lily. That’s private.” She suspected that Lily was opening the drawer of the bedside table, and she didn’t know if that was a good thing or bad—she’d bought a box of condoms at the pharmacy recently, just in case. If Lily saw them, tough luck. Marina had the right to have sex with whomever she wanted.
“Come on, Lily.” Abbie’s voice was louder. “We’ve seen everything there is to see.”
Abbie came down the steps, and Lily sulkily followed. They chatted about the island arts and crafts while Marina served dinner, and because the little table was too small for four, they sat on the sofa and chairs, holding their plates on their laps as they ate. Marina asked the girls about their day and refilled their Bellinis. Gradually, as twilight fell, the girls relaxed their guard. Emma seemed the most responsive to Marina’s conversation, but Lily answered in abrupt monosyllables. Marina focused her attention on Abbie.