Suddenly Sexy (13 page)

She smiled but didn't bother to burst his bubble. There wasn't going to be a next time and her mind was not the blowing kind. It never had been and she'd long ago realized she just wasn't a sensual woman. Orgasms weren't meant for her.

Sam kissed her mouth as he slid gently into her. A deep moan escaped his throat and his body shuddered. "Oh Maddie," he murmured against her lips.

Oh boy. She squeezed her eyes shut as he filled her. Yes, this was good. Very, very good. She could definitely enjoy sex with him. Nice, safe sex—

"Wait!"

He froze above her, the muscles in his shoulders and arms straining. "What?" he rasped.

"Condom."

He let out a long breath, flipping the strands of hair that had fallen across his eyes. "Jeez, you scared the hell out of me. I thought you'd changed your mind."

No chance. She was about to find out what all the fuss had been about in high school. But only with a condom.

She rolled over and rummaged in the bottom drawer of the bedside table. "I know they're in here somewhere. I always keep one for emergencies."

"This is an emergency." He nuzzled her left butt cheek. "In fact, it's a matter of life and death for my—"

"Got it." She held up the little silver packet.

"It's not a prize. Hurry up and open it."

She took out the condom and sheathed him, fumbling at first until she got the technique right. "Oh wow," he murmured, "you've got wonderfully sensuous hands."

He kissed her breast, sucking on a nipple. Then he entered her, slow and sure but not quite all the way in. "You’re so tight," he whispered and she wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or not.

He withdrew before plunging to the hilt, making her eyes spring open in amazement. Amazement that she didn’t split in two.

Hip to hip, they rocked, his thrusts measured, controlled. He sucked on her nipple again and she pushed up to meet his mouth, wanting more of that. Tiny ripples spread through her body and then became bigger waves as Sam picked up the rhythm. Faster, harder he plunged into her, his hot mouth all over her, sucking and licking until she couldn't stand it anymore and wrapped her legs around his waist. The position sent him deeper and she gasped as fire spread through her body.

That seemed to send him over the edge and he bucked once, twice, with a guttural growl to finish off.

He collapsed beside her, breathing heavily, one leg trapping both of hers. He wrapped an arm around her and pulled her close, kissing her shoulder.

"Maddie," he whispered into her hair, "that was fantastic."

Fantastic didn't even begin to describe it as far as she was concerned. He'd been better than any of her other lovers. The rumors had all been true. He'd lived up to every fantasy she'd ever had of him—and she'd had more than she'd ever admit to. She smiled up at the smudge on her ceiling and thanked the powers-that-be for sending her this one chance.

Oh wow. She'd done it with Sam Hennessy. It! The horizontal mambo! Wait till Cynthia Bolowski heard about this.

But the smile turned to a frown as a hollowness settled into her chest. She wouldn't be telling anyone. Probably not even Linda unless she blurted it out along with the tears she'd be shedding soon enough. This couldn't happen again. Tomorrow, once Pheramour had worn off completely, sanity would return and Sam wouldn't be interested in the nerd anymore.

A tight knot formed in her gut as her old life flashed before her eyes. A life without Sam. A boring, celibate life.

"Next time," he said in between nibbling her ear, "it’ll be better for you. I won’t let you distract me again."

Next time. If only.

Oh God. What would he do when he found out she'd tricked him into having sex with her?

Sam loved Sunday afternoon sex. It was lazy, indulgent and kind of wicked. He always felt like he should go to church to confess afterwards.

But that wouldn't stop him from sinning again. From now on, he planned on having as much Sunday afternoon sex as Maddie wanted. And he was going to give her an orgasm. A mind shattering, body shuddering orgasm. It was about time Maddie Clarke lost some of that iron-willed self-control.

He rubbed his hand over her naked thigh and kissed her shoulder. She looked at him, her eyes heavy with emotion. He drew her closer, wanting to nestle into her softness. She smelled like soap and something sweeter. Flowers? Whatever it was, it smelled great because it was unique to her. He could be blindfolded in a room full of women and he’d be able to pick her out by her scent.

"You never gave me an answer," he said.

She’d been lying very still against him, only her breathing making her beautiful breasts rise and fall. "About what?"

"About helping me look for a place to live." He nuzzled her throat, kissing and licking the warm flesh. Damn, but she tasted as good as she smelled. He bet she tasted good everywhere. Something to try later. His cock stirred in agreement.

Maddie sat up, her back to him. "I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why not? If my mother helps me, she'll insist on something around the corner from her, and I don't think I'm ready for that so soon after my arrival back in Melbourne."

He pressed his hand to her back and rubbed her spine, following the little bumps and crevices with his fingertips. She arched into his touch and threw her head back. A mass of lustrous dark curls tumbled over his hand. He twined one around his finger and watched it spring back up when he let go. It bounced. Kind of like Maddie. She bounced in all the right places too.

He reached around and palmed one of those places. So much softness, almost too much for his big hand. He massaged, taking extra care with her nipple and was rewarded with a moan when he thrummed it. That was enough to bring him to full-blown attention.

"Come here," he growled and tugged her gently back down to the bed.

But she resisted and pulled away from him. "I think you should go."

He sat up and moved so he could see her face. "What? Why?" He brushed a knuckle across her flushed cheek. "I thought you enjoyed that. I did."

"Yes, but..." She sighed. "You have to go. I, ah, have to look after the kids tonight."

He frowned. "Pete didn't mention they were going out."

"Pete doesn't have to tell you everything any more." She sounded pissed off.

He held up his hands. "I know. Well, how about I come round, keep you company after the kids go to sleep."

"No!" She shook her head, eyes wide. "Pete and Linda are really funny about other people having sex in their house."

"I don't blame them! And Maddie," he chucked her under her chin, "I was offering to watch TV with you, have a chat or play poker, not make love to you on their kitchen table."

She turned bright red. "Oh. Right. Well, I still don't think it's a good idea."

Sam knew she was lying about the babysitting but he didn't know whether to confront her or let it slide. He wished she was a little easier to read, but she was more complex than a Rubik’s Cube. He didn't recall his ex-girlfriends ever being this complicated. But then he hadn’t cared about them as much as he cared about Maddie. Maybe that was the difference.

"Why?" he asked.

"Sam, this isn't going to work out."

Oh. So she hadn't changed her mind about their future together. Whatever the problem was, it was still a problem. She made to get off the bed, but he caught her waist and pinned her back down. He kissed her, and she responded with her tongue.

He withdrew and looked down at her. "Are you mad because I didn't give you an orgasm?"

"No!"

"Oh. Okay. But I will, if you give me another chance."

"No, Sam, no more."

Hell. This wasn’t supposed to happen. They were supposed to have sex and then she would be his. Easy. No sweat. That’s how it always worked.

But now he was flailing about in the ocean without a lifeboat, and she was the one holding the rope. Only she wouldn’t throw it in. Anger bubbled inside him, but he wasn’t sure who he was angry at.

Maybe if he’d just given her the orgasm, she wouldn’t be rejecting him. Served him right for being selfish.

"I thought what we just did meant everything was okay between us," he said, hearing the hitch in his voice.

"I suppose it could be read that way, but I'm sorry I gave you the wrong impression."

"Yeah." He stood. "My fault for thinking making love actually meant you liked me." He snatched up his boxers and jeans from the floor and stepped into them. "Stupid me."

"Sam, I'm sorry, I really am."

The plea in her voice made him turn round. She knelt in the middle of the big bed, her feet tucked under her. She looked angelic, beautiful and completely vulnerable. He let out a long breath and sat down on the edge of the bed. He shouldn’t be trying so hard. Trying hard never worked. But he wanted this one so bad it hurt.

"Maddie, what's wrong?"

Her eyes scanned his face and he thought he was going to get a straight answer but she shook her head and looked down, smoothing the rumpled bed covers. "We're chalk and cheese."

"So? I don't care."

"You will." She got up and searched the room for her clothes. She eventually found her thong covering the photograph of her parents on the dresser. "I have to go, Sam, so..."

"I get the message." He put on his shirt, picked up his shoes and strode out of the bedroom and out of her house. He threw his shoes on the passenger seat of his Porsche and got in, slamming the door.

Maddie Clarke was the most frustrating woman he'd ever met. He thumped the steering wheel and took off down the street too fast.

She was also the only woman who'd ever pressed all his buttons at once, the only woman he'd ever wanted to spend all day in bed with, the only woman who made his heart and body crave her touch. It was going to take one hell of an effort to get her out of his head. Especially after the incredible afternoon he'd just spent in her bed.

***

Mondays sucked. But this Monday sucked even more than usual. Maddie couldn’t concentrate. She’d somehow got to the lab without breaking any road laws despite not thinking straight. Not even two cups of coffee helped her to face her emails. It was definitely a three-cup morning.

She couldn't stop thinking about Sam. Specifically, sex with Sam. It had been amazing. It had also been very, very wrong of her to go through with it considering she knew the fling wasn't going to last. But she was only human and he was
gorgeous
. And nice. In her experience those two words couldn’t be attributed to the same man, but Sam was proving her wrong. He’d definitely matured.

Which made it so hard to do what she had to do. She had to face him one more time. Now that Pheramour had completely worn off, he'd take one look at her—or whiff—and realize she wasn't the woman for him after all. That part was going to hurt most. For her. Probably
he'd
be relieved to know he wasn't turning into a nerd because he was in love with one, or thought he was.

Stupid conscience. If only she had none and could bathe in Pheramour for the rest of her life. But then that would make her just like—

Miles popped his head around her office door. "How'd it go?" He looked like a puppy with a new toy, anxious and excited at the same time. Any more eager and he'd be salivating all over the floor.

"Good morning to you too."

He sat on the edge of her desk. "Yada yada yada." He took one of her pens out of the holder and tapped it on the desk. "Well?"

She shrugged. "Good, I guess. I got a few dates."

"Really? How many? With more than one man? How far did he want to go?"

She rolled her eyes. "You sound like my sister." She filled him in on Sam's response plus the men at the market, leaving out the amazing sex part.

"That's fantastic!"

Beaker entered, cup of coffee in hand. "You told him huh?"

"She sure did!" Miles grinned, and Beaker and Maddie recoiled. It was an unnatural sight. "And if you'd stuck around on Friday night we could have tested the response of females."

"Sorry," Beaker said and dipped his head. He wasn’t good with authority figures and Miles had a habit of reminding everyone who was in charge just by a look or a word.

"It was after five-thirty," said Maddie, compelled to stand up for her junior scientist. "And he had a date, didn't you, Beaker. How'd it go, by the way?"

He lifted one shoulder. "Okay, I guess, but—"

"Forget about your date," said Miles, tapping faster. "I want you to use Pheramour for the next few days. Maddie's results will have to do until you can give me a report." The pencil stopped and he smacked his hand on his thigh. "I think Fleur Elise will be happy." He slapped Beaker on the shoulder as he strode towards the door. "I'll come by tomorrow morning to see how you went."

He left and Beaker sighed. "I had a feeling he'd say that." He sat at his desk and opened his notebook, sighing at every turn of the page. "Annie's not going to like this."

"Your girlfriend?"

"Sort of. She gets jealous."

Maddie nearly spewed coffee over her keyboard. "Of whom?"

"Other women. She says they look at me like they want me."

Probably they think he can do their taxes or fix their computers. She couldn't imagine them wanting him for sex. But who was she to burst Beaker's bubble? She was made from the same mold anyway. Two nerds fooling themselves.

"If Pheramour works as well on me as it did on you, it's going to be real hard to convince her I'm not cheating," he said.

"I'm sure she'll understand when you explain it to her."

He shrugged and shoved the notepad away. "It's done amazing things for you, Maddie. You look great. I can't put my finger on what it is, but you definitely seem different."

She frowned. Either Pheramour was still in her skin and he was sensitive to it, or she was still glowing from getting laid. She'd go with the latter. The thought of Beaker being interested in her was creepy.

"So what did he say when you told him?" he asked.

"Told who, what?"

"This Sam guy." Beaker frowned at her. "You did tell him about Pheramour, didn't you?"

"Uh, not yet." She shrunk under his accusatory glare. "But I'm going to." Any day now. When she could no longer avoid him. She reckoned she could do that for about a week. Longer if she kept away from her sister’s place.

"Good. You don't want to give him the wrong idea."

"Why not?" she asked, even though she knew the answer. Linda’s concerns about leashing Pheramour on an unsuspecting population had been niggling at Maddie all weekend. She just didn’t like admitting it.

"Because it's wrong. The poor guy thinks he's in love."

Yeah, poor Sam. Poor, rich, handsome, cooler-than-a-thin-Elvis Sam.

"Isn't that the whole point?" she asked, playing devil’s advocate since Miles wasn’t around. "Aren't Fleur Elise marketing Pheramour as a love drug that no one need know you're wearing?"

He thought about it some more. "Oh, yeah, I guess. It seems kind of wrong though"

"Yeah," she said quietly. Sam had said it. Even Linda, which meant it must really be wrong.

What would Sam think if he knew? Would he ever forgive her? Could they return to being friends, or would he cut her out of his life like a mole.

"I need to speak to Miles," she said, feeling weak.

She left Beaker contemplating the ethics of their job and joined Miles in his office. He hung up the phone as she entered.

"That was Hillary Westgath-Smith from Fleur Elise. She's very excited about the progress." He indicated Maddie should sit. "She's coming here tomorrow so you and Beaker can give her a progress report."

"That's great." Yeah, peachy. "Look, Miles, I want to ask you something."

"Ask away."

"Have you thought through the consequences of Pheramour?"

"Of course. You'll all get a bonus, don't worry." He leaned across his desk. "There just might be a promotion in it for you too, Maddie."

Promotion? Ethics be damned, this was exactly what she wanted. It would put her right on track for the next few years. And who was
she
, a mere scientist, to question the ethics of Pheramour? It was up to the individual to come clean about wearing it. It had nothing to do with her. Or Fleur Elise or BioDerma. They were in this to make money for their shareholders and employees. She was in this to get a promotion and tick off another task from her plan.

Nope, not her responsibility. Nuh-uh.

But it
was
her responsibility to come clean to Sam.