Suddenly Love (7 page)

As much as he wished things had played out differently, he couldn’t change the past. And it drove him crazy knowing that though Trevor thought Banks had done the right thing, in reality he’d merely given the Banks family the best public face while privately making Lissa as miserable as possible.

“I’m sorry,” she said in a broken voice.

“I know you are.” He turned her around, forcing her to look at him. “And so am I, sweetheart. So am I.”

She sniffed. “Really?”

He nodded. “We share the blame for what happened. Hell, I realize now I bear most of it. If I hadn’t agreed to split up, you’d never have been with him.” Trevor knew that now as well as he knew his own name.

Her eyes shone with surprise and gratitude. “Thank you for that,” she said, yet she moved out of his embrace.

In front of his eyes, she mentally and emotionally pulled herself together, internalizing the emotions she’d allowed to surface. “I’m glad we finally talked about this. I’m glad we had… closure.”

Trevor blinked in shock at her stark words and suddenly cool tone. He’d thought he needed closure, too. No longer. Yet somehow she’d decided they’d wrapped things up between them in a nice bow.

But as far as he was concerned, things were even messier now than they’d been before. Because Trevor knew what meaningless sex was like—and what he and Lissa shared was a hell of a lot more. No way was he willing to let her just walk out of his life as if last night meant nothing.

“I don’t know where you got the idea that last night was about closure,” he said, folding his arms across his chest as he faced her down. “News flash, sweetheart. We’re not close to over.”

Lissa blew out a long breath and stared at him as if he’d gone mad. “So… what? We’re going to be together for another twenty-four hours, torture ourselves with what could have been… and then what? I’ll go back to Serendipity, to my daughter—to Brad’s daughter,” she said bluntly. “And you’ll stay here. Why prolong the agony?”

He couldn’t deny she had a point. When it came to obstacles, they had plenty. Nor could he say he was ready to deal with everything her real life had to offer, including her daughter, her ex, and Serendipity.

“I don’t have all the answers,” he told her honestly. “The only thing I do know is that if it’s going to hurt that much to walk away, it means there’s something meaningful there to begin with.” He held out his hands and waited, holding his breath.

“Damn it, Trevor,” she muttered, and walked into his waiting arms.

He held her close and suddenly her stomach growled. He heard as well as felt the vibration and laughed.

“I’m hungry,” she said.

“Let’s go out and get breakfast.”

She stepped back and gestured to his see-through shirt and her bare legs. “I have this and a formal gown,” she reminded him.

“Personally, I like this.”

She wrinkled her nose at him and he laughed. “Fine. Go shower. I’ll give you a heavier shirt and a pair of sweats and socks to go back to the hotel in. You can change and then we’ll go for breakfast. Better?”

She nodded. “Thanks.”

A few minutes later, she’d shut herself in his bathroom and turned on the shower, while he lowered himself onto his bed and groaned, running a hand through his already messed-up hair.

He meant what he’d said a few minutes earlier. He didn’t have any real answers for the future, but he’d just bought himself twenty-four hours with Lissa.

For now, that was enough.

FIVE

S
till stunned by their heart-to-heart and the fact that Trevor wasn’t letting her just leave, Lissa found herself sitting across from him at a small crepe place he said he enjoyed. She ordered an apple cinnamon crepe and they ate in a silence that was oddly companionable, considering the safe world she lived in had crumbled around her. She was facing interminable heartache and yet here she was, sitting across from him anyway.

“So what are your immediate job plans?” he asked.

She patted her mouth with the napkin and met his gaze. “Well, after I interview you, I have to go home and get to work on Ethan Barron. Do you remember him?”

He nodded. “My sister told me he came back to town after ten years, bought the Harrington estate, married Faith Harrington, and surprised the hell out of everyone in town by being a millionaire.”

“After his parents died and he disappeared, everyone thought he’d end up in jail… or worse.”

“Helluva story for you to write, though,” Trevor said. “Then what?”

Lissa shrugged. “So far it’s been freelance. I’m hoping something permanent will come up, but even this way I’m making more money than I was at Cuppa Café and writing the town obits.” She lifted her coffee cup and took a long sip.

“Which means you aren’t committed to staying in Serendipity because of your work?” he asked.

Her hands began to shake and she grasped her coffee cup for something to hold on to. “Serendipity is my home,” she said, hoarsely. It was her security. “My family is there. My friends…” Hard-earned friends, she might have added. Because Lissa didn’t let people in easily. In fact, she was better at driving them away. “Livvy’s life is there.”

Trevor shot her a knowing look, one that said he knew she was panicking. “Who are your friends these days?” he asked, smoothly changing the subject.

She didn’t know why, but she was grateful not to have to think beyond right now. “You’re really interested?”

Again, that knowing yet patient look crossed his face. “How else can I get to know you again?” he asked.

She sighed and shook her head, unable to deny him even the simplest of answers, even if he wouldn’t like what he learned about her. “For awhile, I was lucky I had friends,” she admitted. “I was unhappy, Trevor. Around Livvy I put up a good front, but when I wasn’t? I was a raving bitch to most people.” She couldn’t meet his gaze, not proud of the woman she’d become for a while.

“Unhappiness can drain you.”

He sounded like he understood, but she still couldn’t look at him. “I’m lucky Kate Andrews decided she liked me. She’d come into the coffee shop, buy herself something, and hang out at the counter, talking to me when it was quiet and I wasn’t serving.”

“Kate…” he said as if trying to place her.

“Long, reddish-brown hair, best friends with Faith Harrington,” she said, to jog his memories of their high school days.

He nodded. “I remember her. She was always outgoing. Nice.”

“And persistent,” Lissa said, wrinkling her nose at the memory. “She insisted I leave Livvy with my mom and come to Joe’s with her and her friends on Wednesday nights. It’s still Ladies Night. Soon Wednesdays became a ritual, and so did book club once a month. We rotate houses.” She shrugged. “After spending most of my time holed up in the house, eventually I had friends again.” She smiled at the thought of her small clique. “There’s Kate and some other girls from high school, Stacy Garner and Tanya Santos.” And now she even considered Faith Harrington one, too.

“And then Faith came back and your career took off…” he said, as if reading her mind.

Lissa shook her head. “It wasn’t quite that simple.” Drawing a deep breath, she recounted to Trevor how godawful rude she’d been to Faith on her return to Serendipity.

“When Faith got together with Ethan, I took great pleasure in reminding her that though he could wrap a woman around his finger, he didn’t know the first thing about sticking around.” She winced at the reminder, knowing she’d said far worse to Faith—and God, she regretted it.

“Are you trying to scare me off?” Trevor asked, reaching across the table and grasping her hand.

His heat seared her skin but the warmth in his eyes undid her, crumbling defenses she’d tried so hard to build. “I just want you to know who I am, so there are no surprises.”

He grinned. “You’re forgetting I’ve seen you at your worst. I also know you only act out when you’re feeling jealous or threatened.”

Lissa’s cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Yeah, well, maybe I was jealous. From the outside, it seemed like Faith had it all. Even with her father in jail, she came back and opened a business, immediately fell back in with her old friends… and things were so difficult for me at the time…” She trailed off, thinking about Faith’s story. “I didn’t know how hard it had been for her until the interview. Not that anything excuses my behavior.” In fact, she’d punish her daughter if she ever treated anyone the way Lissa had Faith.

“Maybe you were afraid that since Faith had returned, she’d take Kate away from you and you’d really be alone?”

Trevor’s perceptiveness took her off guard.

She was mortified he’d homed in on the one thing she’d never admitted out loud—or even to herself. Faith’s return home had threatened the life she’d built, but how had Trevor known? It was so scary, how well he got her, and yet he wasn’t running away as fast as he could.

She didn’t understand it. Her life never went the way she wanted and so she couldn’t begin to trust this fragile thing they were building. Yet Trevor was persistent—with his words, his understanding, and his gentle touch. Even now, he maintained contact, his thumb rubbing circles over her wrist.

“I’m guessing that didn’t happen?” he asked gently. “Kate stuck around?”

Lissa managed a smile along with a nod. “Of course Kate ripped into me for how I treated Faith and she was right, too. But Kate’s persistent. She just kept including me and including Faith. We even did karaoke together at Joe’s.”

Trevor grinned. “I’d have paid good money to see that.”

Lissa grimaced. “Not something I want to repeat.”

His expression sobered as he said, “But Faith gave you that interview when she could have called on any well-known reporter who’d have killed for her story. There must have been a reason.”

Lissa shook her head, still dumbfounded by that. “To this day I don’t know why, but I’ll be forever grateful that she did. Faith taught me about humility and forgiveness and so many other things.”

Trevor treated her to a warm smile. “That’s what I admire about you—your willingness to admit when you’re wrong. Sometimes it takes a while and you come around kicking and screaming, but you do it and that takes guts.” He cleared his throat. “So does having a baby at eighteen and living through a hellish marriage.”

Lissa blinked in surprise, a lump forming in her throat. “Don’t go canonizing me. I’m still no saint,” she reminded him.

“Especially not in the bedroom,” he said, his eyes darkening. And that quickly, serious conversation was over.

*     *     *

Lissa and Trevor parted ways after breakfast. Trevor decided to head into the office to get some work done while Lissa went to her hotel room to begin working on the article about him. In truth, Lissa suspected he needed time alone as much as she did.

Time to remind herself that despite how easily they fit together when they were alone, life wasn’t about living in a bubble and they had way too many obstacles between them to think about a future. Back in her hotel, she settled in with her laptop and began writing about Trevor Dane. The boy who’d pulled himself up and out of Serendipity to become one hell of a man.

By the time the evening approached, Lissa had accomplished more than she’d hoped for considering her state of mind, and she’d even managed to take a nap. She luxuriated in a warm bubble bath and then pulled out the simple black dress Trevor’s secretary had chosen for the dinner party.

From the things Trevor had said and things her research had indicated, Alexander Wittman was a big part of Trevor’s life, his mentor as well as his friend. For that reason, Lissa wanted to make a good impression—and not just as a reporter doing a story. Though it was silly, if Trevor was going to bring her as his date, she wanted him to feel proud. Last night had been easier. Dressed in a ballgown and feeling like a princess, she’d almost been able to believe she belonged at the event.

But now, as Trevor helped her out of the limousine, nerves assailed her. Though he hadn’t taken his hungry gaze off her, and though he clearly approved of the way she looked, her insecurities came rushing back. After all, if her husband, the man whose baby she’d borne and who’d married her, hadn’t seen her as country club material, why would Trevor’s business associates and friends see her any differently?

When she’d attended as Trevor’s reporter/date, she had been able to put those feelings aside, but now that he was looking at her possessively, she was petrified she’d fall short and embarrass him.

Unaware of her inner turmoil, he placed a hand at the small of her back. “Ready?” he asked.

She let out a deep breath. “Of course.” She walked toward the waiting doorman, who opened the door for them.

“Good evening, Mr. Dane. Mr. and Mrs. Wittman are expecting you,” he said, nodding politely to Lissa and acknowledging her with a smile.

“Thank you, George. See you on our way out.” Trevor steered Lissa away from the bank of double elevators and toward a separate single lift down the hall. “This way,” he said.

Once they were alone outside the small elevator, Trevor turned to her. “What’s wrong?”

She shook her head and forced a smile. “Nothing. Why?”