Stronger With Her (32 page)

T
his is one day I’ve been dreading. I know it’s time for everyone to move on, but it’s still hard to let go. Just knowing that things were undisturbed was enough to maintain the illusion of normalcy. But, nothing’s been normal for a while.

“Are you sure you want to do this? It’s not going to be any fun, and I’ll probably be a miserable bitch.”

“Try and stop me. I’m here for you, and I know what you’re going through. If you just want me to sit in the truck, I will, but you’re not going through this alone.”

James pulls me closer to him. We’ve been sitting in my parent’s driveway for twenty minutes arguing about whether or not he wants to come inside. I know I’m being difficult, but I don’t want him to feel like he’s obligated. It’s going to be a very sad day as we clean out my sister’s room.

“I’m here for you no matter what, Steph. You should know that by now,” he says as he kisses the top of my head. I snuggle closer to him trying to soak up as much of his strength as I can.

“All right, let’s get this over with,” I announce as I move toward the door. James shakes his head and pulls me back.

“You can do this, you know. I’ll be by your side all day long.”

“I know, and I don’t know how to thank you.” My eyes are filling with tears and we haven’t gone inside yet.

“No need, just let me help you.” I give him a brave smile and he squeezes my hand.

“Let’s go,” James says as he opens his door and pulls me out with him. We make our way up the walk and are met on the porch by my mother.

“I wondered when you were going to come inside,” she says sympathetically. I allow her to pull me into an embrace, trying not to cry.

“Mom,” I say as I pull back, “this is James. I hope you don’t mind that he came with me.”

“Not at all, sweetie. We know this is difficult. I’m glad you have someone to be here for you. Come on inside,” she says as she gestures toward the door. James holds it open for us to enter.

The first thing that hits me is the smell. It’s just so familiar and comforting. I know that every house has a unique smell but this one smells like dryer sheets and my mother’s perfume. It’s just like I remember. Then I notice that there’s no furniture in the living room. I look up at my mom and she’s biting her nails.

“We’ve moved everything out except your bedroom and Erin’s.” I nod in acknowledgment. I feel James’ hand on my shoulder and I cover it with mine.

“This way,” I whisper as I lead us through the house to my bedroom. Mom has boxes already put together. I know she’s been waiting for me to get here, and she’s probably wanted to do this for me for weeks. She’s not patient when she’s made up her mind about something, so I can only imagine how hard this has been on her. That thought brings me out of my sadness a little. I need to suck it up and do this so my parents can move out of the house and start the next phase of their lives like I have with James.

I straighten my spine and look at the room with determination. I will get this done quickly so we all can get on with living.

“Mom, how do you want me to do this? I know I won’t take everything with me.”

“Just label the boxes you want to donate. I’m going to take clothes and shoes to the women’s shelter and everything else will go to the church for their rummage sale. There are trash bags here, too. I’m going to run over to the new place for a little bit. Just text me when you’re done, and I’ll come back and help finish it all up.” She gives me a quick hug and walks out of the room.

“Looks like it’s just you and me,” James says wrapping his arms around my waist from behind. I nod as I survey the room.

“I just realized that I’ve been really selfish about this. My parents are stuck until I clean this out, so today we’re going to give them their freedom.”

“You are so special. How did I get so lucky?” I’m rewarded with a light kiss on the ear.

“I have no idea,” I respond with a smile. He laughs and releases me.

We spend the next hour going through my things. As we’re loading boxes of items to be donated, it dawns on me that none of this stuff really means anything. It’s just a bunch of old clothes and shoes. If it was special, I took it with me when I moved into my condo. That makes the process so much easier.

The last box is moved to the garage and we’re ready to do Erin’s room.

“You can do it, Steph. Remember that it’s just stuff, and Erin would be proud of you for doing this for your parents,” James whispers in my ear.

I turn around and throw my arms around his neck. He lifts me and holds me against the wall.

“Thank you for doing this,” I say as I pull his face down to mine. Our kiss is quick but sweet.

“We need to get to work, babe. As much as I want to spend time doing this, we can’t here.” He backs up and I slide down the wall. Once my feet are on the floor, he turns me by my shoulders and we go down the hallway to Erin’s room. It’s exactly how I remember it. My mom has obviously dusted, but the posters are still on the walls and her jewelry and makeup are on her vanity table. I haven’t been in here since that night, and the nostalgia hits me hard. I burst into tears and sit down on the floor.

“Why didn’t you let us help you? We loved you,” I say over and over while I sob. James sits next to me and pulls me into his lap. He holds me and rubs one hand up and down my back, not saying a word. I don’t know how long we sit like this, but he doesn’t say anything, he just holds me. It’s exactly what I need. My tears start to dry up, and I feel a hundred pounds lighter.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m more than okay, actually. That’s what I needed, I think.” I look up and see the concerned expression on his face. I give him a small smile and a kiss on the cheek before I roll out of his lap and stand up. He follows me and rubs my shoulders.

“Where do you want to start?”

“I think I’ll pick out anything that means something to me and the rest we’ll donate. I’m going to assume that my parents have already gone through it for themselves.”

“I’ll get the boxes,” James says as he backs out of the room.

There are really only two things that I want to take with me. When Erin turned sixteen, our grandmother gave her a sapphire ring with little diamonds around the main stone. I loved it. I would try and steal it every chance I got. Erin would get so mad when she couldn’t find the ring, and I would hide under my bed with a flashlight so I could watch the stones sparkle. I find the ring in the top drawer of her dresser where she always kept it. It barely fits me now, but I don’t care. I can get it on my pinkie finger and even though it’s not meant to be worn there, I can’t help but admire the beautiful ring.

“Nice,” James says as he comes in carrying boxes.

“Thanks. It was something I always wanted of hers.”

“I’m sure she’ll be happy that you’re taking it home,” he says planting a kiss on the top of my head and turning my hand to see the ring. “What else do we need to get before we pack up?”

“There’s a necklace. It’s a gold chain with a diamond cross on it. My parents gave it to her when she went through confirmation. The stones are from my dad’s first wedding ring. When he decided he wanted something else, they melted the old ring down and used the gold and diamonds to make the cross. I have one that’s similarly made from one of my mom’s cocktail rings.” I remember being so jealous that Erin’s had bigger diamonds in it than mine. A small chuckle escapes me.

“Are you doing okay?” James asks hesitantly.

“Yep, just reminiscing about the fit I threw when we got our crosses. Erin’s is bigger than mine and I didn’t think it was fair. So childish.”

“You were kids. It’s normal. I can’t begin to tell you how many fights there were in my house about stuff like that.”

“Your mother is a saint. You know that, right?” I genuinely smile for the first time today, and I know things are going to be okay.

“She is and she wants you to come to Sunday brunch tomorrow. Do you think you’ll be up for it?”

I look around the room and spot the necklace hanging on the vanity mirror. Walking over to pick it up I look back at James.

“Yes, I think I’m going to be up for just about anything now,” I say as I put the necklace on.

It takes less than two hours to finish cleaning out Erin’s room. I can honestly say that I had a good time. James kept things light, and I told him a lot of stories about Erin and some of the silly things she used to do. I sent my mom a text fifteen minutes ago to let her know that we were ready for her. I take a last look around and feel at peace with everything. I know I’m ready to move on with my life.

“I couldn’t have done this without you,” I say from my place on James’ lap. It wouldn’t be my first choice of seating, but every time I try to move he holds me there. I finally gave up, but I know my mom will tease me if she sees it.

“Yes you could have, but I’m glad I was here to help,” he whispers while placing tiny kisses around my ear and down my neck.

“James, I’m all sweaty and my mom will be here soon,” I protest trying to push him away. He starts to argue when we hear the front door open.

“We’ll take this up later,” he says with a growl. We stand up and walk into the living room. Both my parents are here, holding hands and smiling at me.

“Dad, I’d like you to meet James Owens. James, this is my father,” I introduce the men in my life. My dad has to tilt his head back to look James in the eye.

“Mr. Edwards, it’s a pleasure to meet you,” James says as he holds his right hand out. My father returns the handshake and my mom smiles.

“Nice to meet you, James. Thank you for coming to help today.”

“My pleasure, sir. I wouldn’t let Stephanie go through this alone.” I feel my cheeks heat up.

“Mom, we put everything in the garage. The boxes are labeled and the trash bags are tied closed. As far as I can tell, we’ve gotten everything cleaned out.” I feel the tears threaten to fall again. One glance at my mother and they spill over just like hers.

“Thank you, dear. I know this was hard for you,” she says as she cries quietly. I pull her into a hug and we console each other. This isn’t easy for any of us.

Mom takes a deep breath and pats my back, signaling that she’s ready to move away. We both wipe our eyes and smile. The men look uncomfortable and it makes me laugh.

“We’re going to take off. Do you need any help moving the boxes?” James asks.

“No, thank you, James. The shelter and the church will be coming on Monday to pick everything up. We’ll put the trash out next week and then the cleaning crew will be here to get the house ready to put on the market,” my father answers.

“Okay, well, let us know if you need anything else. We’re only an hour away.”

“We will, thank you,” my mother says as she pulls him in for a hug. I embrace my father and we all walk out of the house together. James takes my hand and escorts me to the truck, opening the door for me and lifting me up onto the seat. We wave at my parents as James backs the truck out of the driveway.

Y
esterday was emotional for both of us. I’m really proud of how Steph handled it, though. I remember how difficult it was to get rid of a loved one’s belongings, and I don’t think I did as well as her. I look over and see a vision of beauty sitting next to me, smiling at nothing as we drive to my mother’s house.

“He won’t bother you again. You know that, right?”

“He can’t because I won’t let him. But, thank you. I know you’ve got my back if I need it.”

If Jacob even looks in Stephanie’s direction today, he’ll get an ass beating. My brothers told me that he was so upset after what happened at The Shady Sprocket that he made them swear to never discuss it again. Of course, they didn’t promise anything.

“Ma is really excited that you’re coming today. I should probably warn you about Maureen, though.”

Stephanie looks over and raises one eyebrow. “What’s wrong with Maureen?”

“Well, she has a lot of crazy ideas and her filter doesn’t work well. John is madly in love with her, even if he denies it, but she can be a lot to take.”

“If I can handle Jake, then I can handle her. Piece of cake,” she says with a grin.

“I wish I had your confidence,” I mutter as we pull into the driveway. Everyone is already here which is no surprise. Fucking hyenas can’t wait to dive into Ma’s home cooking.