Stripped Raw (9 page)

He’s not turned off by my seizure-like dance moves. Instead, he picks up Zoe and proceeds to “Gangnam Style” with her. God, he is the greatest, and of course, he can really move. He even makes that silly dance look sexy, even more so holding little Zoe. I have a thing for a guy dancing with a little girl, or a father dancing with his daughter. Something about it is so sweet, so touching. It always melts my heart. Maybe it’s because I never had that moment with my own father.

Still, I’m not above teasing Kane. I bump him with my booty. “Get off my dance floor,” I say. “I dance alone.”

He wraps a free arm around me. “You’ll never dance alone again.”

Now my heart is a puddle on the floor. He pulls me tighter to him, like he can’t get enough of me. One thing I’ve learned about Kane is he goes all in with everything he does. Of course, that means he’s a workaholic, but it’s more than that. When he holds me, he squeezes me tighter right before letting me go. When he kisses me, it’s always a little longer, deeper than I’m expecting. Even when he looks at me, his blue eyes never waver.

His tongue finds mine, and a moan escapes. My body rises up. I can’t control it. Zoe gives a playful smack on his cheek, and Kane pulls back slightly. My little niece is good birth control. She rears her hand back once more, and I catch it this time. I kiss her hand, take her from Kane, and turn off the music.

“Zoe has a cold,” I say and wipe her nose with a tissue.

Kane rubs the baby’s bald head. “She looks fine.”

“Yeah, but Tessa can’t. . . .” I stop and close my eyes tightly. “Tessa’s immune system is very weak, so. . . .” My eyes catch his. I will not cry. Get it together! “I need one of those special man hugs right now.”

Kane sweeps me in his arms. “I’m here,” he says and strokes my hair.

“Anyway, Tessa can’t be around her right now, so I have to watch her tonight,” I say, pushing on my eyes. “I’m going to need to postpone my Skype appointments and put off getting takeout. I’m sorry. Family comes first. I’ve got so much work to do, too.”

Kane takes Zoe and wipes her nose. “You work—or do whatever you need to do. I’ll hang out with Dimples.” Zoe reacts to the news by sticking Kane’s knuckle in her mouth and starting to gnaw. “Should call you Chompers.”

“I can’t ask you to do that,” I say.

“It’s fine,” Kane says, finding a toy rattle and handing it to Zoe to chew. Then he kisses me on the head. “You work. Dimples and I will make dinner.”

“You’ve worked all day,” I say. “You don’t have to.”

“Go work so I can have you to myself when Dimples goes to sleep,” he says, grinning. I like his thinking, and suddenly I’m amped up to get my work done quickly. Heading towards my workspace, I turn back, seeing Kane begin to rifle through my tiny kitchen, looking for this and that, all with Zoe on his hip.

Kane opens one of my kitchen cabinets. “We got this, don’t we?” he asks Zoe. The baby gives him a blank stare then smacks him in the head with the rattle.

He doesn’t appear to have the first damn clue what he’s doing, but I appreciate the effort, that he’s flexible, that he cares for me. I hope he cares enough to stay after he hears what’s coming.

*

Tapping my pencil
on my desk, I look at the clock, my mind drifting to the sweet, hot man in the next room. My next Skype appointment can wait. I tiptoe down the hallway and lean against the doorway to my apartment. Oh my God, I wish I had a camera.

Kane has Zoe on the table in front of him, and they are feeding each other pancakes. Well, Kane is feeding Zoe, and Zoe is wiping maple syrup and mushed pancake all over his face. She leans forward, mouth open, and lands on his cheek—her attempt at a kiss. My niece is crushing on my man big time! It’s the sweetest exchange I’ve ever seen. If Kane bolts, I know Zoe will miss him.

His royal blue eyes smile up at me, and I freeze this moment in my mind—this perfect moment of happiness. “We made pancakes,” he says with a certain sense of pride.

“Let’s get you two cleaned up.” I walk into the kitchen, pick up Zoe, and wipe her down, then see Kane picking pieces of pancake from his hair. I put Zoe in her playpen and lift myself on the counter to get eye level with Kane. “Let me,” I say.

His hands move to my hips, urging me forward on the counter until my legs are wrapped around him. It’s been forever since I’ve had a man between my legs, and my muscles clench. Clearly, my body knows what it wants—wish my head and heart were as sure. His lips gently land on mine, and the taste of sweet syrup circles my tongue.

“I need to know how you taste,” he says.

Wow, that’s direct! I guess most lawyers are, but I don’t think I’ll ever get used to him talking to me this way. Still, I like his ideas. But Zoe is here, and wide-awake, and my work is waiting. “I’ve got a few more clients. I’m so sorry. I know you’ve got. . . .”

“I’ll wait.”

“You’ll
wait
? Um, it could be a while and. . . .”

“I’ve got Dimples to keep me company.”

I can’t believe this guy. He’s not just interested in sex. He’s happy just to be with me. He picks up Zoe and follows me to the workspace. The baby seems exhausted, her eyes glassy, as if the pancakes were some kind of sedative. He holds her to his chest and lightly bounces her around the room, as I talk to a few clients.

It’s not long before I look up from my computer and find Kane stretched out on the sofa, with Zoe sound asleep on his chest. I can’t even remember a time when her father, Brandon, held her. It’s sweet what Kane’s done for her, for me. Maybe Zoe’s getting too close too fast? Maybe I am, too?

I finish up my appointments and ease her out of his arms. It’s my turn to feel his chest, to be in his embrace. He quietly follows me back to my apartment, and I place Zoe in her playpen. Kane plops down on my bed and opens up his arms for me to come to him. I begin to crawl in beside him, but he pulls me down on top of him.

His hand on the back of my neck, he forces me to his lips. Honestly, it’s not much of a fight. His kiss takes my breath away. It always does—each and every time. We’ve been going out a few weeks, and kissing is all we’ve done. Kane hasn’t complained, but his mind is obviously set on bigger and better things tonight. Mine is, too. I’m glad we haven’t rushed into bed. It’s refreshing that Kane is patient and not a man-whore. Besides, my life is too complicated to make any huge mistakes right now. I have to be careful. My heart isn’t the only one at stake—little Zoe’s is, too. But I’m definitely ready to do more than kiss. He lifts my shirt and runs his hands onto my back. I can’t help the soft moan that escapes.

“I love that sound,” he whispers, his mouth slowly exploring my neck. “I want to hear that moan all night long.” He reaches up and finds the hook on my bra.

A sudden cry rings out. Not now, Zoe! I dart up from the bed, get her from the playpen, and bring her to the bed, cuddling her close. I can’t bear to look at Kane. He must be frustrated and disappointed, probably preparing to run out the door from my nuthouse.

“Is she alright?” Kane asks, rubbing our backs gently.

“She’s fine, but she sleeps with Tessa every night,” I say. “She’s not used to a playpen. It can be difficult when she sleeps here.”

Kane takes some bed pillows and lines them along the sides and foot of the bed. “Now she can sleep in the bed and won’t hit anything or fall off.” I’m speechless. I thought for sure he’d be pouting or bolting. “What?” he asks.

“Most men wouldn’t still be here.”

“Why not?”

“Because that’s what men do. They leave when things get tough.”

“I like tough things,” he says. “I don’t run from them. It’s what I do—hard cases, jury trials. I win them.”

This is hardly the same thing. Is he really comparing this to a case? Maybe he doesn’t realize how bad things really are. I don’t like to talk about it myself, and truthfully, I’m a little afraid too much more will spell the end of things between us. “There’s nothing to win. You don’t know. . . .”

“I figured some things out,” Kane says. “What happened to Tessa’s husband?”

“Brandon left because she chose Zoe over treatment.”

“What do you mean she
chose
?”

“Tessa got her diagnosis when she was just a few months pregnant,” I say. “Brandon wanted her to have an abortion.”

Kane shakes his head a little. “He didn’t want to lose his. . . .” He stops then starts back up again. “That’s an impossible situation to face.”

“Brandon pushed Tessa to undergo every kind of treatment—even the most aggressive ones—though they both knew her pregnancy couldn’t sustain them. Ignoring doctor’s advice, she decided against any treatment whatsoever. She didn’t want to risk the pregnancy. Brandon said Tessa gave herself a death sentence, and he wasn’t going to stand by and watch it. So he left before Zoe was born. He’s a selfish prick.”

“Since giving birth, has Tessa had any treatment?”

“She had a double mastectomy, and several rounds of chemotherapy, but it hasn’t done any good. The cancer’s now stage four.”

“There’s got to be
something
?”

“I call some treatment centers every day. There’s some trials here in the U.S., some experimental things in Switzerland. I usually get the runaround from them. And even if I found something, Tessa isn’t interested in pursuing it. She just wants to focus on Zoe, on the time she does has left.”

“Maybe you should let her.”

“Not yet.”

“How long does she have?”

“A few months—maybe.” I see Kane take a sad, deep breath. I can only imagine what he’s thinking. This is a lot to take in, but it’s my story, my life, my family. I might as well lay it all on the line right now. “I promised Tessa I’d take Zoe. I’m going to have to raise her and make sure she knows all about Tessa and provide for her and. . . .”

His eyes lower to the floor, listening to my words, nodding along. He doesn’t say anything for a minute. I’m not sure whether he’s waiting for me to finish my rambling or if he’s in the midst of trying to comprehend what I’m saying. More likely, he’s planning his exit strategy, devising a way to crash through the pillow fort he set up on the bed.

“I’ll be here,” he says. “I’ll help you.”

“Why would you do that? Why would you settle for this?”

“
Settle
?” he asks, cupping my cheek in his hand, his blue eyes soft. “I never expected you, Kenzie. I never thought I’d feel this way again. I don’t want to lose this. I can’t.”

KANE

I prop myself
up on my elbow, a small smile on my face, and run a gentle finger along Kenzie’s cheek. She’s been wrapped in my arms all night. Kenzie moves slightly. I don’t want to wake her. She’s not a morning person, but there is no resisting touching her, feeling her warm skin.

Since my divorce, I wasn’t sure I’d ever wake up like this again. Sure, I could have some random woman in my bed, but that’s not for me. This is much better. This is what life is about—sharing it with someone. Nothing seems real unless I share it with Kenzie.

Lifting my head, I find Dimples still asleep on the bed, a touch of drool on her cheek. My heart constricts a little. They’re a package deal. I figured as much, and Kenzie confirmed it last night. That maybe would’ve been a deal breaker ten years ago, but it doesn’t make a difference now. Sure, things will be more complicated. It will mean more responsibility, and I’ll have less time alone with Kenzie. But it also means more dances in the kitchen, more mushed pancakes. This is my second chance, something most people don’t get. You’re lucky if you find love once in your life, so I’m not going to waste this chance to be happy again.

“Oh God!” a high shriek comes from the doorway.

I jump up from the bed, seeing Tessa quickly turn to leave. Shit! I follow her out of the apartment and into the workspace. “I’m sorry! Look, I’m dressed and everything!”

Tessa wrinkles her brow. “What?”

“I’m dressed,” I say, motioning to my clothes. “Kenzie was working late, so I helped with the baby. We happened to fall asleep. I don’t want you to think we weren’t watching her. We were.”

“You think I’m mad?”

I scratch my messy bed hair. “Well, aren’t you?”

“I’ve got other things to be mad about besides my little sister getting screwed with my daughter around.”

“We weren’t. Please don’t be upset with Kenzie.”

“I’m dying, Kane,” Tessa says. “I don’t spend my time upset about much else other than that.”

“Kenzie told me,” I say and pull out a chair for her.

“She told you? She refuses to talk to me about it at all,” Tessa says. “With me, she prefers to pretend everything will be fine. You know, it was sweet to see the three of you in bed like that together. Wish I could give her that. I never had that.”

“Kenzie told me about Brandon, too.”

“Kenzie hates him.”

“Don’t you?”

“No, I think it takes too much energy to hate someone. Ever notice that? I’m dying, so I don’t have the time or energy for much else,” Tessa says then wobbles a little while sitting down. “You know, you’re coming into her life at the craziest possible time. She’s desperate to get this business successful, I’m sick, and she’s still reeling from her last breakup.”