Striker (29 page)

She looked down at their joined hands, closing her eyes for a second, blinking back more tears. ‘I should…’ She raised her head slightly to look at him, his eyes almost pleading with her. It was something she hadn’t seen in him before, the vulnerable side of Ryan Fisher. Was this who he
really
was? She had no way of knowing that just yet. But maybe she needed to stick around and find out. Maybe it was time to start trusting people again. She couldn’t spend her
whole
life being cynical and judgemental. ‘I’m not going anywhere.’

She watched him throw his head back and breathe out a huge sigh of relief. Had she done the right thing? Was she taking a huge risk by staying with this man? One chance, she’d said. She would walk away if he hurt her, that’s what she’d told him. Yet, despite that happening, she was about to give him another chance. A chance she could quite easily live to regret, she was all too aware of that.

‘I’ll change, Amber. I promise. Maybe this has been the wake-up call I needed, huh?’

She smiled, looking into those incredible deep-blue eyes again, reaching out to touch his face, running her fingertips over his bearded jaw line. She may still have feelings for Jim, but she could live with the fact that they were probably always going to be there and she was just going to have to deal with them. What mattered now was that she also had feelings for Ryan, feelings that were growing stronger by the day, and she was scared, too. He didn’t have the monopoly on experiencing new feelings. This was more than a touch alien to her, as well as him.

‘Let’s go to bed,’ she whispered, closing her eyes as his mouth lowered down onto hers, kissing her slow and deep, turning her knees to jelly and making her head spin, which she knew was down to him because she hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol all night.

‘I really am so sorry, Amber.’

She put a finger to his lips again. ‘Stop telling me that, Ryan, and start showing me. Okay? Start showing me.’

Chapter Twelve

Ryan stood in the doorway of the en-suite and looked over at Amber as she slept. For the past few days it had felt as though a weight had been lifted off his shoulders, and despite all the crazy, stupid decisions he’d made since his arrival back in the North East, at least he’d finally made one that was sensible. A little out-of-character, maybe, for him, but he knew it was the right one. Amber brought some stability into his life, and even though he’d tried to fight it at first, he was slowly learning to accept that this was the better choice for him. Yes, there were times when he itched to get back out there and hit the bars and clubs, times when he would have killed to get back to the casino and have just one more go at finding that winning streak, but so far he’d managed to get through those times because he wasn’t willing to lose Amber. But his days were sometimes lonely when she wasn’t around, and that’s when the urges became strongest – when he had nothing to take his mind off things. Did he feel the need for those other “kicks” he’d revisited over the past few weeks? Hell, yeah! Of course he did! He wasn’t a frigging saint, he was only human. But he loved Amber. He loved her. Had he finally faced up to the fact that he was growing up and that settling down might just be a possibility in his life? Well, he was dealing with it. And that was good enough, for now. Amber was right. It was best to take things slowly, one day at a time. There was no rush.

He walked back over to the bed, leaning over to gently brush her dark red hair from her eyes, kissing her slightly open mouth, and that was enough to let him know that it was time to wake her up now. It was time to give her an early alarm call that she might not be expecting. Or she might. After all, they’d spent the best part of the past few days “getting to know” each other all over again, and he was quite enjoying this brand new start.

Running his hand slowly along the curve of her waist, down over her hip and thigh, snaking round to gently turn her over, he smiled as she smiled, too, keeping her eyes closed.

‘That had better be you, Ryan Fisher.’

‘Who else would it be?’ he asked, leaning over to kiss her neck, sliding his hand round into the small of her back as she arched it, moaning quietly.

‘I know what you footballers are like, remember? And I’ve read the tabloids.’

‘You don’t want to believe everything you read, Ms. Sullivan.’

She opened her eyes, arching an eyebrow. ‘Really?’

‘Really,’ he grinned, sliding his hand between her legs, causing her to groan out loud as she threw her head back and her arms up above her head.
 

‘Jesus, Ryan, I’m not even awake yet.’

‘Yeah, well, I reckoned you might need a bit of help with that.’

She couldn’t help but laugh as he buried his head between her breasts, making her giggle like some star-struck teenager – a feeling she knew all too well. ‘Ryan! What are you doing up so early anyway? It’s not like you’ve got be anywhere before ten-thirty.’

‘The boss has got us in at nine this morning. He seems to think we all need some extra work before the big derby match on Sunday.’

Even the tiniest of references to Jim Allen was enough to make Amber’s skin prickle, the guilt of a secret she should have told Ryan preying on her mind more than she wanted it to. But what purpose would telling him serve? What if Ryan kicked off and did something stupid? This was his boss they were talking about here, after all. She had no way of knowing how he’d react, and in the long run it altered nothing as far as her relationship with Ryan was concerned. He didn’t need to know.

‘Should you really be wasting your energy doing this, then?’ she smiled, pushing herself up against him as he pushed his way inside her, slowly and carefully, his hands holding tightly onto her hips.

‘He can ban sex the day before matches, babe, but he’s having no say in when else I can be with you.’

She really wanted to stop thinking about Jim, but it was too late. He was in her head now, and it was Ryan who’d put him there. ‘No,’ Amber whispered, reaching up to touch his cheek. ‘That’s purely
our
business.’ Closing her eyes, she wrapped her legs around him, holding onto him tight as they made love. Jim Allen was her past, even if he
had
suddenly become an unwelcome part of her present. But she had Ryan now. Her handsome, young footballer. Together they were dealing with their own demons, it was just that Ryan couldn’t help
her
the way
she
could help
him
. Nobody could. She had to be strong enough to deal with it all on her own.

Lying back against the pillows, Amber kept her eyes closed as Ryan pushed harder into her, his mouth kissing her breasts, his fingers stroking her skin and she tried desperately to push more thoughts of Jim to the back of her mind. Tried desperately to recognise that it was Ryan making love to her, not Jim. It was Ryan who was holding her in his arms, it was Ryan who was touching her so intimately,
his
fingers stroking her, helping her reach that beautiful endgame as they both came to a crashing climax together.

She kept her eyes closed as Ryan withdrew and rolled over onto his back. She wanted a few seconds to let that post-sex shiver run its course, feel it slow down and dissipate before she opened her eyes and let reality back in.

There was no doubt about it, Ryan Fisher made her feel like a kid again. He made her feel young and beautiful and she loved him for that alone. She hadn’t really known how much she’d needed someone like him until he’d unexpectedly walked into her world. And she could have quite easily let what had happened with Jim taint the rest of her life; she could have allowed that experience to prevent her from moving forward, and she’d almost rejected Ryan completely because she’d thought that was the only way to go. The only way to forget. She’d been wrong. What she needed was a life – and Ryan was giving her that. And she was slowly falling for him in a way that both surprised and excited her, although she was still yet to let him know that. And until she was 100% certain of how she was feeling, that was the way it was going to stay.

‘You okay?’ Ryan asked, his breathing slowly returning to normal.

Amber nodded, keeping her eyes closed. ‘Yeah. I’m fine.’ She was better than fine, if truth be told. She was way better than fine.
 

‘You’ve gone quiet.’

‘I’m good, Ryan. Nothing’s wrong…’ She broke off as she felt something unfamiliar happening – his hand slipping inside hers, pulling her closer. Usually he was up and off the bed within seconds, still reluctant to partake in those post-sex cuddles. But today it appeared he’d changed his mind. And it was an action that almost made Amber want to cry. They might actually be getting somewhere with this relationship after all.

‘Are you going to let me tell you I love you now?’ he asked, stroking her hair as he looked into her eyes. There was something there that he couldn’t quite read, but she was bound to still be wary of him, wasn’t she? But she was still here, still with him. And he meant every word he said now. He needed her, and yes, he loved her.

Amber gently stroked his cheek, smiling as she snuggled against him. ‘I don’t think I have much choice, do you?’

He shook his head, winding his arm around her waist, keeping her close, and liking the way it felt – keeping someone this close just seconds after being inside them. It felt good. Because he was finally with someone he wanted to be close to, for longer than the time it took to score a quick fuck. He felt his heart skip a beat, a feeling so uncharacteristically alien to him that it made him catch his breath. ‘Come and watch me at the training ground, Amber.’

She had the day off, but she hadn’t planned on spending it anywhere near Red Star’s training ground. It was hard enough as it was to avoid Jim Allen at the best of times without deliberately putting herself in a position where he could be unnecessarily close.
 

‘They don’t allow random visitors to just turn up and watch, Ryan. You know that.’

‘You’re not some random visitor, though, are you, Amber? You’re a friend of the boss’s. And anyway, I heard a rumour your dad’s gonna be there this afternoon.’

That was news to Amber. ‘Is he? He never said anything to me.’

‘Yep,’ Ryan sighed, reluctantly letting go of her and hauling himself off the bed. ‘He’s gonna help Colin with some training techniques, apparently. That’s why the boss has got us there for most of the day today.’

‘Yeah, ‘cause you slackarses are usually done by lunchtime, aren’t you? Unlike those of us with
real
jobs.’

He turned round and threw a cushion at her. She giggled and grabbed it, poking her tongue out at him. He pulled a face, which only set Amber off giggling again. Pulling her knees up to her chest as she watched him walk back into the en-suite, his hard, toned and naked body on show, she didn’t think she’d ever get tired of looking at him. Could she see a future here? It was impossible to tell. All she knew was that she could quite possibly be falling in love for the first time in a long time, with the kind of man she’d vowed she would never go near again.

She could only hope that history didn’t repeat itself.

*

‘Jesus Christ, Amber, you’ve got the day off, woman! What the hell are you doing in
here
?’ Kevin Russell met her with an incredulous expression as he found her rummaging about in the drawers of her desk. ‘Are you some kind of masochistic work-a-holic? Can you really not just chill out and relax?’

She stood up and looked at her producer, a hand on her hip, her lips slightly pursed. ‘This is a bit of a pot-calling-the-kettle-black situation, don’t you think? I mean, you’re hardly Mr. “kick back and forget about everything” yourself, are you?’

‘Yes, well, I haven’t got myself a younger man to play with, have I?’

Amber couldn’t keep the slight smirk off her face. ‘I’m glad to hear it, Kevin. Otherwise I’m sure Mrs. Russell would have something to say about that.’

‘Yeah, you’re funny. Dating footballers seems to have given you a sense of humour all of a sudden. You should’ve tried it earlier.’

‘I’m not dating
footballers
, Kevin. I’m dating
a
footballer. Just the one. And that’s draining enough…’

‘Yes, thank you, can I stop you there before we stray into “
too much information
” territory? I’ll ask you again, what are you doing here?’

‘I was just getting my Dictaphone, if you must know.’

‘Why? You got something planned I don’t know about? Is the ever-surprising Ryan Fisher about to spill something of interest that might be useful to us?’

‘I’m off to Red Star’s training ground.’

Kevin raised both eyebrows in an expression of utter surprise. ‘Really? Have you been invited? I mean, I know you’re sleeping with their star striker but I wasn’t aware that granted you carte blanche to accompany him to work every day.’

‘I’m going with my dad.’

‘Your dad?’

‘Yeah. Y’know, that ex-footballer who used to play for Newcastle Red Star, he was quite famous back in the 1970s…’

‘Jesus. When did
you
turn into a comedian? What’s your dad doing over there today?’