Striker (24 page)

‘Well, this is a lovely surprise, I have to say,’ Jim smiled, getting up from behind his desk and walking over to her.

‘Cut the crap, Jim. You’ve dropped Ryan.’

‘Ah. You’ve seen the team sheet, then.’

‘What are you playing at?’

He looked at her with a slightly confused expression. ‘Playing at? I’m running a football team, Amber. And you more than anyone should know that that sometimes involves making decisions that aren’t always popular.’

‘Jesus… That’s bullshit, Jim. And you know it. No way should Ryan be dropped from the first team, it’s a ridiculous decision…’

‘Oh, I see. You think you can do my job better than me, is that it?’

‘You’re playing games, Jim. And you’re doing that in a very dangerous way.’

He laughed, a low, deep laugh as his eyes bored into hers. ‘A game? Amber, you’re paranoid, sweetheart. Ryan understands why I’ve had to do this…’

‘Ryan will be biting his tongue because he doesn’t want to do something that might get him banned, but he won’t be happy about it. He
won’t
understand why you did this, because he doesn’t know the real reason, does he?’

Jim walked back to his desk, leaning against it and folding his arms. ‘I’ve explained it all to him, Amber. Ryan and the rest of the lads know exactly why I’m doing this today. Ryan is an excellent player; he’s a great asset to the squad I’m building here at Red Star, but, a team can’t run on one man alone, can it?’

It was Amber’s turn to laugh out loud, pushing a hand through her hair. ‘Jesus, you actually sound as though you believe all that shit you’re spinning.’ She looked at him, right at him, fixing him with a stare that told him she wasn’t taking his crap anymore. ‘You dropped Ryan to get back at me, didn’t you?’

‘You flatter yourself, honey.’

‘It’s all just a touch too coincidental, Jim. Ryan and I move in together, then all of a sudden he starts hearing rumours that you might be dropping him from the first team this afternoon and what happens next? Come Saturday
he’s
on the subs bench, and
you
think you’ve won.’

‘That’s quite a serious accusation you’re making there, young lady. Are you accusing me of acting in an unprofessional manner?’

‘You know the truth, Jim. I should let everyone know what you’re doing…’

‘But you won’t do that, will you? Because, if you do, then that means everyone will know exactly what went on between the two of us. And I’m sure you don’t want that, do you, Amber?’

‘Jesus!’ Amber turned away, pushing both hands through her hair. ‘Why are you doing this, Jim?’ She swung back round to face him. ‘Why? I thought you cared about me. I thought…’

‘I do. I’ve always cared about you, Amber. Always.’ He walked over to her, gently touching her cheek with the palm of his hand, his eyes looking down into hers. ‘I love you.’

‘Don’t say that. Saying that isn’t fair and it hurts, don’t you understand? Everything you’re doing hurts. If you really loved me, why won’t you just let me get on with my life? Why can’t you just do that?’

‘Because he isn’t right for you, Amber. Ryan Fisher isn’t right for you. What kind of life is he going to give you?’

Amber stepped away from him, walking back towards the door, her arms folded defensively against her. This was a match Ryan should be playing, not one he’d been deliberately excluded from, and it was all her fault. If she wasn’t with him, Jim almost certainly wouldn’t be acting this way. He was a manager who had a reputation for being the ultimate professional, but today he was being anything but. And there wasn’t a thing she could do about it.

‘He won’t treat you any better than I did, don’t you get that?’ Jim said, walking towards her, reaching out and resting his hand lightly on her hip, which Amber quickly removed with a swift slap.

‘The difference is, though, Jim, is that I know exactly what I’m getting into with Ryan. We’re having fun; he’s good to be around. He’s changed me, and he’s changed me for the better. He’s made me lose some of that bitterness, that cold exterior. He makes me laugh, he’s taught me how to have fun again; but, most importantly, he’s made me no promises. And I don’t want him to. You said it yourself, Jim. Promises are there to be broken, so I don’t ever want to have to deal with promises again. From anyone.’

‘So, why move in with him if you’ve got no intention of this relationship going anywhere?’

‘I didn’t say I had no intention of it going anywhere, did I? I didn’t say that. Nobody knows what’s going to happen in the future, and I’ve given up second-guessing anything. I’m taking it one day at a time, and we’ll just see where it goes. No promises.’

‘You’re making a mistake, Amber. Letting Ryan Fisher into your life, it’s a mistake.’

She looked up at him, into eyes she hated looking into because they made her feel weak, made her feel as though everything she’d just said had been nothing but a smokescreen to hide behind because she was too scared to admit the truth. ‘No, Jim. The only mistake I ever made was letting you touch me again.’ She backed away from him, edging closer to the door. She needed to get out of there now, before she did something she was going to regret. ‘Please don’t take this out on Ryan. Okay?’ Amber looked straight at Jim, an almost pleading expression on her face. ‘He’s got nothing to do with any of this, and he doesn’t deserve it so, please, keep him out of it.’

*

‘Are you okay?’ Amber asked, leaning back against the bar in a crowded post-match Players Lounge as Ryan joined her. He had his head down, his hands buried deep in the pockets of his jeans. She could almost describe him as lost, and that wasn’t something you could say about Ryan Fisher all that often.

‘What do
you
think?’ Ryan said, looking straight at her, his voice agitated. ‘Not even fucking substituted, Amber. We go one goal down and the fucker doesn’t even stick me on as a substitute, I mean, what the fuck is
that
all about?’

Amber turned away from him, taking a long sip of her lager, catching Ronnie’s eye from across the other side of the room. He knew as well as she did that Jim Allen was playing a dangerous game here; a game that nobody else was aware of, a game that could ultimately cost him his job if he continued to act recklessly by leaving out players that should obviously be first-team choices. The fans had already made their feelings known both at half-time and again at the end of the match, with boos and jeers all aimed at Jim. His decisions had been wholly unpopular with most people today, and all Amber could hope for was that now he’d made his point, he’d go back to doing his job in the professional manner he was known for. Before he lost all that hard-earned respect he’d built up over the years.

‘Red Star managed to pull two goals back, though,’ Amber pointed out, immediately wishing she’d kept her mouth shut because the look Ryan gave her made her stomach turn over, and not in a good way.

‘That’s not the fucking point, Amber. Jesus…’

She turned away again, leaving him to it and walking over to Ronnie. ‘Is he alright?’ Ronnie asked, giving Amber’s shoulder a quick squeeze.

‘Not really, no. He’s pissed off, and who can blame him?’

‘He doesn’t need to take it out on you, though, does he?’

‘If it helps him get it out of his system then I’d prefer it if he used
me
as a sounding board rather than do something stupid that could see him slapped with a three-match-ban.’

‘It’s not your fault, though, is it?’

Amber looked at Ronnie. ‘Well, yeah, it is, really. He just doesn’t know that.’

‘Still no excuse,’ Ronnie said, looking over at Ryan who was standing alone at the bar, staring into his pint. ‘He should know you don’t hit out at the ones you love.’

‘He doesn’t
love
me, Ronnie,’ Amber frowned.

Ronnie just shrugged. ‘You know what I mean. You’re together, he should realise you’re there to support him. There’s no need for him to take any of this out on you.’

‘Yeah, okay.’ Amber was a little taken aback at Ronnie’s outburst. He very rarely got agitated about anything much – in his day he’d been one of the most placid and calm players around, which was why he’d been chosen to not only captain his club, but also the International squad on numerous occasions. Even in the midst of all the crap Karen had put him through Amber had never seen Ronnie get too worked up. He’d always told her it was a waste of energy. ‘Have you seen my dad?’ she went on, quickly changing the subject.

Ronnie shook his head, then jerked it towards the door just as Freddie Sullivan walked in. His team weren’t playing until Monday evening so he’d finally made it to a Red Star match. Amber loved it when her dad turned up to watch games with her. It reminded her of the old days, when she was just a kid, sitting there in the stands, watching him play and wishing she could do the same. It was where she’d fallen in love with this so-called beautiful game. It was where she’d fallen in love with Jim Allen.

She shook all thoughts of Jim out of her head as her dad approached, kissing him quickly on the cheek. ‘Where’ve you been?’ she asked, turning her head slightly to see if Ryan was still at the bar. He was.

‘Talking to Jim,’ Freddie replied. ‘He’s just been hauled in front of the chairman who wants some answers regarding his team choices today.’ He looked at his daughter; his tough but beautiful daughter. ‘Do
you
have any idea why Jim would do this? I mean, dropping Ryan like that. No-one can get their head around it.’

‘Why is everyone asking
me
?’ Amber sighed. She just wanted to go home now. She wanted to go home and snuggle up on the sofa with some reality TV and a huge bar of chocolate. And maybe a large glass of wine. Yeah, that sounded like a perfect idea. It had been a long and tiring day – beginning with the emotional job of saying goodbye to her little house in
Gateshead
, and ending with this fiasco. She’d had enough. And she was positive Ryan had, too.

‘Well, I’d’ve thought it was quite obvious why people are asking
you
, Amber,’ Freddie said, leaning back against the bright-red painted wall. The whole room was decorated in the colours of Newcastle Red Star – red walls, matching carpet, and dark red sofas and chairs all scattered with red and white cushions – which made for a warm and cosy atmosphere, even when the room was empty. Although, the atmosphere Amber was experiencing that afternoon was anything
but
cosy. ‘As Ryan’s girlfriend… Did
he
have any idea he might be dropped?’

Amber looked at Ronnie who smiled at her, giving her arm a little squeeze. She really didn’t want to get into this right now. And certainly not with her father. ‘Look, I’m sure Jim had his reasons. I’m going to find Ryan and get out of here, okay? I think we could both do with a quiet night in.’

She kissed both of them quickly on the cheeks and walked back over to the bar, where Ryan was still nursing his pint, although he looked a little less angry than he had done when she’d left him not ten minutes ago. He smiled at her, a smile that gave Amber no choice but to smile back. ‘Hey, babe, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for going off on one there – for taking it out on you. I shouldn’t have done that.’

‘It’s okay,’ Amber smiled, taking his hand and squeezing it tight.

‘No. No, it’s
not
okay. None of this was your fault. It’s Jim Allen I
should
be having a go at.’

Amber could still see the frustration in his eyes and she leaned forward, kissing him slowly, falling against him as he slid an arm around her waist, kissing her back. He tasted of shower gel and soap, his body still warm from the shower he’d just had and all Amber wanted to do was get him home and make him forget what a bad day it had been. ‘Listen, baby, let’s put today behind us, okay? Let’s go home, order a take-away and have an early night. What do you say?’

She saw his expression change almost immediately, and she felt her heart sink.

‘Amber, babe, I’ve promised the lads I’ll go with them to this new club…’

‘Oh. I just… I thought…’

‘I know,’ Ryan smiled, stroking her red hair out of her eyes. ‘I know, and it’s a lovely thought, it really is. And if I hadn’t promised the lads I’d go out with them I could think of nothing better than a night in with you in that amazing new bed of ours…’ He ran his thumb lightly over her cheek as he moved in for another kiss, his open mouth moving gently against hers. ‘Wait up for me, okay? Please?’

She looked at him, her stomach sinking even further. ‘You’re not even coming home to get changed?’ She was aware that she’d probably sounded a bit like a nagging wife there, but she was genuinely upset that Saturday night now stretched out ahead of her, and she was going to have to spend it alone. She’d really thought he’d be in the mood for nothing other than a quiet night away from all of this. How wrong was
she
?

‘We’re going for something to eat first. Amber, look, I really am sorry. If I’d known…’

She forced a smile, remembering what she kept telling everyone who questioned her relationship with Ryan – she knew what she was getting into; she knew what he was like. So this shouldn’t be a surprise to her. Of course he’d rather forget today by hitting the town. She’d been stupid to think he’d drop that for a night in front of the TV. ‘It’s alright. I understand. You’ve got to let off some steam, of course you have.’