Stranded On Christmas (18 page)

I
hoped that I could bounce back as quickly as he had.

That
evening I went to the police and told them lie after lie about how I
had fallen head over heels in love with Gideon and his
cut-off-from-the-rest-of-the-world ways.

They
thought I was an annoying flake. I was glad that was settled. I could
go back to my old life as if nothing happened.

I
was surprised at how easily the lies had flown from my lips. It was
proof that I would do anything for the ones I loved.

Gideon
wouldn't agree, but he needed to be protected sometimes too.

I
went home and cleaned my apartment again. I sat down at my desk and
wrote cleaning lists. Busy hands would help me forget.

Unfortunately,
that wasn't true. Cleaning was work for my hands and my body, but it
didn't stop my thoughts. Not even when I turned on the radio and
tried to sing along.

There
was no music left in me.

I
scolded myself to talk to Pumpkin more. He was going through a rough
time too. His life had been better on the farm.

I
had selfishly taken that from him.

Gideon

When
I opened my eyes, Jessie wasn't there, exactly as I had feared.

The
doctors were all very nice to me, and the police wanted to hear what
I had to say about the intruder.

My
fists clenched up when I told them that the intruder had wanted to
have a couple of minutes alone with Jessica. I explained that I
couldn’t let that happen.

They
told me that they were going to lock the guy up and throw away the
key. He had broken out of jail and somehow found his way onto my
property. It was a case of bad luck.

Jessie
had already given her statement while I was in surgery.

The
nurse told me that Jessie went home to take care of the animals.

I
checked out as soon as they would let me. My neighbor picked me up
and drove me home. He told me that Jessie was gone. He told me he had
been taking care of the cows for me. I thanked him and went into the
house. She had cleaned it up before she left.

All
signs that she had ever been here were gone. The house was so empty.

I
couldn't bear it, so I went out to the barn. The animals looked fine.
Jessie's car was gone. Her suitcase was missing, and money was lying
on my desk. I wasn't sure what they meant. Was it for the gas that
was in the car? What had ben going through her head?

I
sat down and laid my head on the desk. I had lost everything that I
had ever had.

I
didn't even know where to find my wife.

Time
moved on, and she didn't come back. I hoped that she would show up
out of the blue, saying that she had merely needed a vacation from
her life.

I
told myself that I wouldn't punish her for something like that.
Having her home with me was more important than teaching her not to
leave in the first place.

She
wouldn't want to be too far away from Aaron's grave, would she?

We
visited him every week together, on Sundays right after church. I
didn’t think that she could leave him.

Now,
I went alone. I told Aaron that his mommy would be back really soon.
I promised him that she would come back and visit him.

I
worked the farm and set a bit of money aside every month. When I had
enough together, I would go to Chicago and looked for her.

I
would do anything and say anything to get her back.

Jessie

I
threw myself into my work, living for it. However, my evenings were
lonely. When a customer called saying she wanted to take a cooking
class, but she needed a partner, and she didn't want to get stuck
with someone who she didn't like, I offered to be her partner. She
was a little older, but we got along splendidly.

I
had a new hobby. I filled my evenings with classes. I learned to
knit, professionally this time. I had done a lot wrong. I wished I
could go back and fix Aaron's things.

I
made an amazing baby blanket and stitched his name and the date of
his birth on it. I covered myself up with the soft blanket every
night. It was the only piece of him I had.

I
learned to cook, clean, iron, wash clothes properly and everything
else that would have been helpful to know back then.

The
classes gave me a place to go between work and home. At home I
thought of Gideon and Aaron and nothing else.

I
wasn't happy, but my life was bearable.

It
was time for me to clean up the loose ends of my life. I needed to
make a clean cut with Gideon. I went to see a lawyer. I explained
what had happened, and he was very willing to help me.

He
encouraged me to file charges against Gideon.

I
couldn't to anything to the man who had forgiven me for killing his
child. I simply wanted him to be free to start a new life for
himself.

The
lawyer set the paperwork in motion. Gideon was served the papers that
would forever separate us. I truly hoped that he would move on and
find happiness.

Gideon

One
day, I came out of the barn just as a strange car was parking in
front of my house. My first thought was that it was Jessie, coming
home. I had a huge smile on my face.

Then
a tall man got out of the car. He saw me and walked over to me. “Are
you Mr. Gideon Thompson?”

“
Yes,
I am.” I had a lump in my throat. Had something happened to my
Jessie?

“
This
is for you.” He handed me papers and left without saying another
word.

I
opened them up and saw that they were divorce papers. My Jessie
wanted to move on with her life. I hoped that was a good sign that
meant that she was finally feeling better. Over a year had gone by
since I had last seen her.

I
merely had to sign the papers, and we wouldn't be man and wife
anymore. That wasn't as easy as jotting down your signature that you
received your money for the milk that got picked up. Signing these
papers would take courage.

I
went into the kitchen and laid the papers down on the table. It was
getting hard to breathe. I paced up and down.

Then
I went into the living room and got a pen. It was Jessie's. The one
she used to make her shopping lists.

I
took the pen into the kitchen and laid it down next to the papers.
Then I started to pace again.

Did
Jessie have someone else? Were these papers here so she could
remarry? Was the guy worthy of her? Probably not. I hadn't been
either.

I
pulled out a chair, but I didn't sit down. I wasn't ready yet.

Not
until the next morning could I sit down and face the papers. I read
them many times. The thing that made the biggest impression on me was
the fact that her address was listed in the papers.

I
got out my money and counted it. It was just enough. I could take a
bus down to the United States and then stay in a cheap motel and take
my Jessie out to a fancy restaurant.

I
looked at my watch; the one Jessie had given me. It was already eight
in the morning. I could go over to the neighbor's and asked for help
with the animals. I needed to see Jessie once again. If she was doing
well, I would sign the papers and let her go.

At
least, I hoped I would. There was also a chance that I might fall at
her feet and beg her to come home.

I
pushed the door open to her office. Her name was written on the door
and everything. She was the big boss. I could see a lot of women
walking around and still others on the phones.

I
went to the receptionist's desk and smiled at the woman there. How
should I put this? I wanted to see my wife, but I was here to grant
her the divorce she wanted.

“
Hi,
I'm a friend of Jessie's. I want to surprise her. She doesn't know
that I'm in town.”

“
Of
course. That's really nice. Her office is back that way. The one in
the very middle.” She pointed around a wall behind her.

“
Thank
you kindly.” I gave her a nod and went off, bracing myself. My
Jessie was somewhere around here. I had missed her so much. Thoughts
of how things could have gone differently had plagued me since our
wedding day.

The
women back here were all singing along with the radio. I had to think
about the one time I had heard my wife sing from the heart. It had
been Christmas. I shook that memory out of my mind.

Losing
the baby had made her go mad.

Was
she better now? Better off without me?

I
moved closer to where the receptionist said I should go. The women
here could sing especially well, but one voice was leading them. It
was Jessie. She was singing and happy. I could see her in her office
typing at a computer. She looked so professional.

Her
phone rang, and she answered it. I was standing kitty corner to her
office door, hidden by a movable divider wall that made up about
twenty cubicles.

“
How
can I help you, sir?” I listened to my beautiful wife talking on
the phone. “That’s a lovely idea. … The package will be
delivered here, and it will be delivered to your wife's birthday
party at four on the dot. If you need to make any last minute
changes, just call us. Rest assured that we will help you make her
fiftieth birthday as special as we can.”

I
had never thought of that. Of course what she did could also be done
to help a marriage.

“
I
have it all on the computer. Everything will go off without a hitch.
Thank you for calling.” She finished typing and jumped up out of
her chair.

I
took a step back not quite ready to see her yet. She went off, and I
followed her. She was singing again.

I
followed her into a copy room. She was making her own copies. I was
surprised that she didn't have someone who did that for her. After
all, she was the boss.

I
leaned against the doorframe and looked at her. She was facing away
from me. Her hair was done up in a cute and yet professional looking
twist. She was wearing tight blue Capri pants with a light blue
blouse. The jacket that matched the pants was on the back of her desk
chair.

I
could see her ankles. They even looked a bit tanned.

She
was doing better without me. I could see that.

I
now had to be man enough to let her go because it was better for her.
I only wanted her best.

“
Hey,
Jessie.”

She
turned and looked at me, jumping a little. She looked scared. Her
face didn't relax when she saw me. There was no relieved sigh where
she told herself that everything was okay.

“
Hello,
Gideon.”

“
You
look great.”

A
confused look crossed her face. A second later, she had her features
in check again. “So do you.”

“
A
lawyer was out at our place. You sent him.”

“
Yes,
that's right.”

“
I
wanted to talk to you about that. Could we go to your office?”

“
My
office?”

“
Yes,
a safe place with windows and lots of witnesses.” I flashed her
smile, trying to show her that I meant her no harm. It was clear that
she thought I was here to kidnap her and take her back to the farm.

She
grinned a little and a smile spread across her face.

I
loved her smile. It meant the world to me to be able to see it one
last time.

She
finished up with her papers and brought them to another woman and
told her what she wanted done with them. “A very nice lady wants to
find her husband a new golf partner because the old one died. She
doesn't want him to know that she is behind it, but he needs to be
cheered up. The signs should be put up in golf shops and in sporting
goods stores.”

I
felt a knot twisting in my stomach. I had spanked her for being
deceitful, but in truth, she was a little angel that helped people.

She
walked on to her office. Once I was in, she closed the door. All eyes
were on us, and I could see the women looking and gossiping with one
another.

“
Have
a seat,” she offered. That was when I noticed that she never called
me anything but my name and that as little as possible. She had no
pet name for me like I did for her.

I
sat down in one of the chairs across from her desk. She pulled out
her chair and sat down too. She was now so quiet, and she had been
singing so nicely before I had made my presence known.

I
heard something move under her desk. Then I saw Pumpkin charging at
me. I petted and lifted him up into my arms. I don't think anyone had
ever missed me as much as he had.