Stone Walls (38 page)

“Thank you.” She nervously tucks her hair behind her ear with a shaky right hand as her left hand continues to clutch mine. “Can you tell me about them?”

“Of course. Your father and I were great friends even before…” He pauses briefly, “Even before we began working together. My girlfriend, who later became my wife, introduced Angelo to Regina. He was older than her by nine years. Your father lived two lives. He made it a point to keep his business away from his personal life.” Razzo shrugs and pulls in a deep breath. “I know it must be hard for you to understand, but it was just business.”

“He did terrible things.”

“Yes, we all did. I’m not proud of the man I was, or am. We were predestined to the life we chose. The older I get and the closer to judgment day, the more what we did becomes real.” He shakes his head, looking pensive. “This is not an excuse, but when you’re living that kind of life, you’re in survival mode. Your dad and I truly believed we did what we had to do to survive. He paid the price. I paid some then, and I’m paying more now. We all eventually pay the price, one way or another.”

“And my mom? Did she pay for his sins or hers?” Tears swell in Ella’s eyes. Her lip quivers as she measures her breathing in an attempt to control her emotions.

“Ella, your mom had no idea what we did. Some would call it denial. How can a wife not know what her husband is truly capable of? I can honestly say, Regina, and even my wife, didn’t know the entire truth. They knew we were involved in some shady things, mostly wise-guy antics.

“She fell in love and turned a blind eye. Regina paid a very high price when the truth was revealed. When she left with you, when Regina and Gabriella were killed in that house fire, I lost my own wife that day as well. She left me. I consciously never married again. We never had children. I go between regretting that and being thankful that we didn’t. That’s why I made it my one and only goal in life to keep an eye out for the two of you. Yes, I did it for your father, more so for me. You two were the only family I truly loved. Everyone else in my life was just like me. You were pure. I loved you like a daughter.”

The tears are now rolling freely down Ella’s cheeks. She stopped trying to deny them. He watches her with a frown before saying, “Don’t cry, Ella. I want you to know two things. These are the only things I will say to you today that you should remember, hold in your heart, and never let them go.

“First, your father loved you more than anything in this world. Second, your mother loved you more than anything in this world. Forget their names, forget who they were, just know they loved you. Since the day you were born, you were Ella. Your mom nicknamed you that the minute she saw you. Gabriella was Angelo’s mother’s name, your grandmother. Regina used the name, but she wasn’t attached to it. Ella is who you were, always. Her Ella.”

“Do I have any other family?”

“No one that you need to know,” he responds immediately. “Your mother gave up a lot to marry Angelo, which is why I can tell you without any doubt she truly loved him. He wanted only the best for her. When you came, I’d never seen him as happy as those months after you were born. They didn’t last. His enemies made it difficult for him to revel in his loving family life. His euphoria was very short lived.”

A few moments pass where Razzo stares at Ella, and Ella stares at the ground. He waits patiently as she processes it all. When she meets his gaze, tranquility alters his features. He visibly relaxes before our very eyes.

“He wasn’t supposed to be there…Smyth. I moved him when you arrived to New York. I transferred him to the furthest location from you. I now feel, him seeing you that day was a blessing of sorts. It caused the chain of events to occur to finally put Gabriella Volante to rest. You’re safe now, Ella. You have nothing to fear. Someday, you’ll meet a wonderful man who will love you. Whoever he is, I hope he’ll know what a gem you are.

“I’m going to leave you with this. I’m a sick man. I’m battling prostate cancer. The decisions I’ve made to cooperate with the FBI are only partly because of my diagnosis. I withheld information from them, mostly to protect you. Obviously, they now know everything. I’m trying to right a lot of wrongs. Your mother sent me the flash drive years ago. It’s with the FBI. As far as Politto, he will never hurt you. If Politto survives, he’ll never see the light of day. As far as his crew goes, I’ve gone to great lengths to ensure no one knows your real name. It was my suggestion to Farley to have Gabriella die of her injuries. She’s now gone, forever.”

Ella sniffles quietly, otherwise remains silent. He glances over her features, before smiling warmly at her.

“Ella Parker, you go live your life and become a wife, a mother. It’s what your mother would have wanted for you. Make her proud.”

She nods slowly, still consumed by her tears.

“Do you have any more questions for me?”

“No, Gianni. Thank you, for everything.”

He nods, gives her a wink, and without a goodbye disconnects the call.

I bring her closer to wrap my arms around her sobbing frame. Just as I did during her panic attacks, I try to soothe her and calm her down.

But mostly, I let her get it all out, once and for all.

She clings to me until she calms. When her breathing returns to normal, and her sobs cease, she looks up at me and says, “Gabriella Volante is finally gone, forever.”

Why am I so nervous? I was up all night, staring into the darkness. I’ve been pacing all morning just waiting for the hours to pass. It doesn’t make sense for me to be freaking out over today’s events. For fuck’s sake, I’m in paradise with the woman I love.

We arrived yesterday. The weather is perfect, especially for a wedding. A light breeze makes the heat bearable. I’ve been awake for hours, walking along the beach since the crack of dawn.

The wedding location is all ready for the ceremony. A small platform sits near the surf, and a couple dozen white chairs all face it and the ocean. A white wooden walkway runs over the sand down the center, creating a makeshift aisle. The flowers sit in huge pots around the perimeter of the ceremony site.

Everything is perfect for a tropical wedding.

The knock that I’ve been waiting for what seems like years finally comes. “It’s show time,” he says as he walks in. I respond with a deep sigh and a silent prayer. “Ready, buddy?”

“Yep, all set.”

Rob wears a matching white linen shirt and black linen slacks. She wanted us casual and barefoot, thank God for that. The thought of wearing a tuxedo out in that heat would have been torture.

My best friend walks beside me down the long hall toward the door that leads to the beach. “Everyone is out there. It looks nice. Have you seen it?” he asks, looking over at my tense expression. “Relax, man. You look like you’re ready to bolt.”

“I’m nervous.”

“What the hell for?” he laughs at my expense. “It’s a piece of cake.”

“Oh please,” I roll my eyes and add, “You were also a wreck before you proposed.”

“I don’t remember that.” At the door, he smiles and says, “It’s time for me to get married.”

A solo guitar player strums an acoustic version of
Reason I Am
by Devil’s Lair. We all saw them in concert this summer. The girls fell in love with the lyrics and we suspect the lead singer, as well. Farley got us in to meet the band after the show. Both Andrea and Ella’s glazed eyes were not from the alcohol that was flowing. I’ve never seen my girl blush as much as she did mulling among those rock stars that night.

At the sound of the song, all the wedding guests focus on Rob and I. Closest friends, immediate family, my aunt, my brother and his girlfriend all smile at us as we walk toward the platform. Rob is beaming while I attempt a smile.

Crap, I seriously have never been this nervous in my life.

You’d think it was my wedding day.

Once we stand side by side, facing the guests, the music shifts to the wedding march. Everyone stands, turning to face the same door that Rob and I just emerged from.

The second she appears, my breath catches in my throat. She looks so beautiful. Her hair is long and loose, just how I love it. She smiles warmly when she sees me. In one hand, she holds a small, white bouquet of roses. With her other hand, she clutches the cane she recently graduated to.

She wanted so badly to be able to walk alone on this day, often asserting herself to insane limits to get there. Her progress has been astounding, yet she still pushes herself mercilessly. She’s still my stubborn, pain in the ass, Ella.

Watching her walk toward me stirs an ache deep within. I miss her. You would think we’ve been apart a year and not just one night. She stayed with Andrea last night, because of some bad luck nonsense. We haven’t slept apart since moving into the beach house. 

When Ella reaches the platform, her smile turns to a seductive smirk. I take a small step to my right so I can take her in from head to toe. “I love you,” I mouth to her. She nods with a wink.

Beside me, Rob stands beaming as his future bride appears. All the guests are turned toward Andrea as she walks down the aisle on her dad’s arm, but my eyes are glued to Ella, the most beautiful Maid of Honor I’ve ever seen.

Andrea’s approach turns Ella’s focus to her best friend. The bride and groom stand side by side before the minister. As the ceremony begins, all I can think about is the ring sitting in my pocket.

Not Andrea’s ring, Ella’s ring.

As soon as these two are pronounced husband and wife, as soon as I can steal her for a few minutes, I’ll be asking her to marry me…thus the cause of my nerves since arriving. I was going to propose before we got here. In hindsight, I should have. Then maybe I could be enjoying this mini-vacation with the woman I love.

But I wanted to make it special. Being here with her, away from our stressful lives, is the perfect backdrop for my proposal.

I’m in my own little world as our two friends are being joined together for life. I pay no attention as the vows, are exchanged. Rob nudges me when I need to present Andrea’s ring. Applause is what finally shakes me out of my reverie and back to the ceremony. My stomach flips as I realize the moment of truth is getting closer.

It makes no sense for me to be nervous. It’s not because I fear she’ll say no. I think it has more to do with the actual proposal. I want it to be perfect.

After Andrea and Rob step off the platform, Ella steps forward to take my arm. “Hi,” she says as she leans into me.

“I missed you.”

“Me, too. How did you sleep?”

“Awful.”

“Me, too,” she admits with a smile.

Andrea, Rob, Ella, and I are led to the private deck where photos will be taken. While the photographer takes formal shots of the bride and groom, I look over the banister at the reception below. Music filters through the air. Waiters weave among the guests offering champagne and a variety of hors d’oeuvres. From above, we can see Jonathan, his girlfriend Carrie, my Aunt Beth, and her boyfriend Theo, all sitting at our table, waiting for Ella and me to join them.

Ella wraps an arm around my waist. “It was a beautiful ceremony,” she says beside me.

“Was it? I wasn’t paying attention. A stunning brunette in a gorgeous black gown had me hypnotized.”

She tilts her face up toward me for a kiss, which I oblige.

“I like this place. Andrea planned everything perfectly.”

“Did you have any doubt with Andrea?”

“True.”

Andrea obsessed over every detail. We all boarded the cruise ship in Manhattan, spending day one at sea. We will be docked here in Bermuda for the week before the guests return to New York. Andrea and Rob are staying a second week. She chose this resort for the wedding and reception. We can all come and go as we please, touring or relaxing on our own schedules. The ship is our hotel where we return at night to sleep.

My brother and aunt came out a few days before we took off. They spent the time at a hotel near our beach house. The weather cooperated for early October. We were able to spend most of the time outdoors, enjoying their company. Ella and Beth get along nicely. Jonathan’s girlfriend is shy, which is usually not the type of girl he attracts, but Ella thinks he’s madly in love. Jon said he adored Ella and that he knew I had it in me. I could tell from his words he’s very proud of me in more ways than one. I’m just as proud, if not more so. We both turned out pretty damn well, all things considered.

Beth is right. Mom would be very pleased of the men we both became. My aunt deserves a lot of credit. She seems happy. She and Theo live in the same house she raised Jonathan in before he left for UCLA. She doesn’t have kids, but she has Buster and two toy poodles that may as well be her flesh and blood. Theo hasn’t changed at all. Give him a football game to watch on TV, a bowl of chips, a beer, and the man is like a kid in a candy store. He treats Beth well, and that’s all I can ask for.

“We’re being paged,” Ella says, tugging on my arm.

“How many pictures do you need, woman?” I ask Andrea as we join them for another round of posed shots.

“Don’t give me a hard time, it’s my day,” she says with ventriloquist’s lips, while the smile remains plastered on her face.

The photographer finally dismisses us, causing my nerves to kick in, again. I need a drink desperately. The first place that I drag Ella by the hand is to the bar. I order a lemon drop martini for her and a gin and tonic for myself, before taking our seats at our assigned table.

“Are you okay?” Ella asks as our meals are served. “You’ve been quiet.”

With my lips against her ear, I whisper, “I just can’t wait to get you alone. Eat up. I want to go for a walk.”

A slow smile spreads across her face. “Can we go somewhere to make out?”

“And then some,” I nod, returning her smile.

I laugh when she starts cutting her food with gusto and takes bite after bite without stopping for a breath. When her plate is practically cleared, she says, “I’m ready.”

Some of the guests are dancing, some are milling around mingling, Rob and Andrea are bouncing from table to table visiting with their families…this is a good time to disappear for a bit.

“Let’s go.”

I lead her down a path that winds between the two pools of the resort. At the far end of the property sits a lush oasis with a manmade waterfall that empties into a natural rock pool. Scattered around are stone bench seating areas.

“This is so beautiful,” she says as I lead her to a quiet corner.

“It sure is,” I respond while staring at her. She feels my gaze and turns toward me.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” she asks, shyly.

“Um...” My heart is pounding in my chest. All the hours I spent rehearsing what I was going to say were a waste of time. My mind blanks. I tuck her hair behind her ear, keeping my fingertips on her lobe.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” she asks after I clear my throat for the third time.

“Damn it. I wanted to make this special, and I’m already screwing it up.”

She leans into my touch. “You aren’t screwing anything up.”

I use her words as fortification and drag in a deep breath. “Ella, in just six months, you’ve completely altered me as a man. I’m ashamed of the person I was before meeting you.” She starts to interrupt, but I shake my head and ask, “Let me finish?”

“Sorry.”

“I can use my past as an excuse. I have no idea if I would have turned out this way if I had the perfect childhood. I’ll never know. I do believe this man I am now, is exactly who I’m supposed to be.”

My thoughts jumble in my head. I feel like I’m rambling.

“Ella, I had so much I wanted to say. As the day dragged on, and I got closer and closer to this moment, I realize there’s nothing I can say that can adequately express what I’m feeling.”

I reach into my pocket for her ring. Her eyes widen when she sees the box in my hand. Kneeling before her, I take her hand in mine and kiss her palm.

“Ella Parker, before you I never believed in marriage. You changed that. I love you more than anything or anyone on this earth. I can’t live without you. Please say you’ll be my wife, the mother of my children, my forever.”

Not a second of hesitation passes when she gasps, “Yes.”

We both watch as I slip her ring on her finger. She holds my head and kisses me deeply. Her tears splash onto my face as she seals my proposal with every ounce of love she feels for me.

Over these years, I’ve often wondered who I would have become if the tragic events in my life had never happened. It’s an exercise that’s made in vain. There’s no way to know who I would have been if my life took a different path than it has. Speculation is a waste of time. Looking back now, ten years later, I finally understand why they happened. I now believe that things do happen for a reason.