STEP (The Senses) (30 page)

“Explain,” Kilter told Tye.

Tye smoothed out his shirt and winced when his hand touched his ribs. “We thought you were dead. Ulrich and Gemma played it so well, the remorse, the tears. I’m a Taster and I could taste sorrow all over Gemma. Found out later that they’d killed Gemma’s mother so she felt sorrow, and we never picked up that it wasn’t you she was sad about. Ulrich being a Reflection could take on any emotion and, well, there was no way to tell.

“
A few weeks after you disappeared, Gemma asked to be taken to where Ulrich found your horse’s dead body and where you were thrown over the cliff. Ulrich was the only one to know where it occurred so therefore he was the logical choice to take Gemma.”

“While I was being tortured in some hellhole.”

Tye nodded. “None of us trusted Ulrich, so I followed them, to make certain she was okay.” Kilter jerked at the knowledge. He had hated Tye for so long. “That was when I saw them . . . well, they were . . . you know, all over one another. They were laughing and . . . shit, I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Ulrich must have heard my heartbeat because he came after me like a maniac. Gemma—” he raised his shirt and Kilter saw a small scar just below his left pectoral, “—shot me in the back. Bullet went right through my chest. Zurina healed me, but it took them hours before they found me. Your brother was smart. He actually hid my scent by dousing me in horse dung. They would’ve never left me alive, but I managed to slow my heartbeat enough to fool them.

“
When Ulrich heard I was alive, he and Gemma took off. We knew it was possible that he’d lied about your death, so we contacted Senses across the continent and we searched for you.” Tye winced as he shifted. “We found Gemma’s body about a year after they ran off.”

Kilter knew that was about right. Ulrich had kept Gemma alive for months
, taunting him time and again.

“Damn
, buddy, this sucks. Shit, I wish you’d listened to us. Even Waleron couldn’t control you long enough to make you listen. But crap, just mentioning her name or Ulrich’s sent you into a whirlwind of anger.” Tye snorted. “None of us wanted to have to kill you just to make you listen, least of all me. So we all decided it was better to let it be, that maybe it was better you believed Gemma loved you.”

He’d been crazed when he finally escaped Ulrich. Destructive. Alone and filled with hatred and loss. Mourning Gemma. He spent so many years mourning Gemma.

“I’m sorry, Kilter,” Tye offered. “Christ, buddy, I don’t know if it’s better you know the truth or not, but it is the truth. We never abandoned you. You were our strength in the Talde, we looked to you for guidance.” Tye shook his head with sorrow. “Man, we loved you.”

Rayne stood silently beside Kilter. The calm after the storm, she thought. Like Danielle’s painting.

She felt his muscles give way, the release of emotions with Tye’s heartfelt words. She was in shock over the horror he’d suffered. No wonder why he was so crass and cold. Why he mistrusted. Everyone he cared about had betrayed him. His own brother. The woman he loved. And he assumed the Senses, his friends, had abandoned him.

She had no experience giving anyone sympathy or offering condolence or even just a shoulder to lean on. All she knew was that Kilter’s pain ran deep. Everything in her wanted to give this man her heart. He’d given it to Gemma, and it was destroyed, at the time by her loss, and now by betrayal. It was remarkable he had offered her any
compassion after what he’d been through.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered
, having no other words to offer for something so horrific.

She laid her forehead against his arm. It’d been so long since she
’d used her ability that she’d been uncertain whether she was even capable anymore, but with Rebecca’s help, she was stronger now. Her ability had come full force.

His emotions had been the most intense she’d ever felt, s
wirling like a whirlpool into a black void. Her mind had gone dark with the absorption of his emotions then suddenly there’d been brilliant colors of his emotions, bright red, violet and black. Violent. Uncontrollable fury had torn through his mind and body as if a missile.

She never wanted to feel that much rage again. Ever.

She held tighter to his arm as her knees weakened, but it wasn’t enough. Her grip disconnected and she began to fall. Kilter scooped her up and hoisted her into his arms. “Rayne? Oh baby, what have you done?”

“I’ll get Anstice,” Tye said
, already heading for the stairs.

“No, I’m fine, just give me a moment,” she murmured, trying to control the trembling in her body as it sifted through the strong emotions that encumbered him and now her. “Please Tye, don’t.”

“Rayne,” Kilter warned.

“I need to lie down for a few minutes, that’s all.”

Kilter shook his head at Tye then strode across the room. He kicked the door open and carried her to the bed. Gently, he lowered her to the mattress, his hand sweeping over her brow in a tender caress. “Baby, tell me what’s wrong. It was your ability, wasn’t it?”

She reached up her hand and smiled as she recognized the
concern on his face. Her fingers caressed his jaw, and the sweet sensation of his skin on the tips of her fingers made her more aware of how she’d run from these wonderful and yet frightening feelings.

He sat on the bed leaning over her, one hand on the opposite side of her near her head, his hair falling forward across his forehead. “You did something to me with your body. I’ve never felt anything like that before. It was
as though all my emotions of pain and hurt were being sucked out like a vacuum and replaced with warmth and calmness. You did this. How did you do this?”

“You took away my anxiety,” Rayne reminded him. “It
’s the same concept.”

“No,
it’s very different and you know it. You took my rage, my anger, and replaced it with calmness, warmth. Even my heart rate slowed. God, that is . . . it’s incredible.” He stroked one finger down her nose, then slowly across her lower lip. “You sure you’re okay? I can call Anstice.”

She shook her head
, smiling then grasped his finger with her mouth and drew it in. She savored the slow sensations that took flight through her body, and watched his eyes close and his expression of concern change swiftly to desire.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and tugged him forward so that he lay hovering above her. She smiled at his uncertainty and quickly soothed it. Time to be brave.
Take what you long for because it may not be there for you to take tomorrow.
Words of her therapist, ones she had yet to use until this moment.

“I’ve never had sex with a man I desired before.” She tightened her grip when he went to back away. “No, let me finish. I want you, Kilter. My body has craved you from the beginning, but I was too sick to know it and my mind was too frightened and closed
-off to recognize it. But somewhere inside I knew.” She traced his lips with her finger. “But, Kilter, know this. I’m not Gemma. Don’t ever make me her.”

“Rayne,” Kilter gasped. “God no. Gemma, shit she was . . . she was nothing like you. What I feel for you is something different than what I had with Gemma.” He grabbed her on either side of her face. “Do you hear me? Cause this, I’ll never repeat.”

She let a slow sensual smile grace her lips and said, “Then show me, Kilter. Show me what can be between us.”

He stared into her eyes, his body tense with his arms holding him up so he didn’t crush her with his weight, but she wanted to feel his weight, craved the touch of his skin against her own.

“And waiting?” he asked.

“I’ve waited long enough,” Rayne said in a silky voice that even she didn’t recognize.

“It’s been, what, ten minutes?” Kilter mimicked.

“I change fast,” she replied, imitating what he’d once said.

Kilter’s slow, sensual grin was all she needed to boost her confidence. She yanked him down, collapsing his arms so that his full weight lay like a hot blanket on top of her.

His mouth came down on hers with rough urgency as if it was impossible to control. She curled her fingers in his hair, melting into his arms. Needing. Yearning. For once, knowing that this was what desire was about, two souls connecting on an intimate level thrown to the waves of pure sensual heat.

“God, baby.” He trailed kisses along her chin and down her neck, his one hand between them resting on her stomach beneath her T-shirt.

She groaned as his hand slid up to her breast and pushed her bra upwards
, releasing her breasts for his rough hands to explore. She tilted her head back with a soft gasp as his fingers circled her nipples like a feather at first then with more intensity.

“Kilter,” she breathed. She tugged at his shirt
, and he growled as she fought to stop his hands so she could pull it over his head.

He finally ripped it at the seams and it fell open
, still clinging to his arms. What she saw took her breath away, and her entire body stilled. He lifted himself up on his arms and stared down at her, still and silent.

Rayne ran her finger over the black lines etched into his abdomen, tails of what appeared like a snake circling up and over his pectorals then
disappearing around his side. It was magnificent and . . . she loved the tattoos on his body. Her finger trailed around the side of him until she felt the familiar raised skin. She slowly traced it, closing her eyes, imagining what it was, but the only image that came to mind was some sort of animal.

“Your tattoo,” she said. Was this a part of him just as Serafina
was part of her?

She grabbed his hand and then slowly slid it down her body to her lower inner thigh where her Scar was located. “Yours is beautiful and complicated. Mine is s
imple. Do all Senses have one?”

He caressed the lines of her Scar, the image of Serafina. “Yes. It was the Goddess’s gift to us
. The witches’ Familiars were burned into their skin to come to life when needed. We are all born with them.”

“Witches?” Rayne asked. “We descend from witches?”

Kilter groaned as he rolled off her and fell back onto the mattress. “You don’t know our story, do you?”

Rayne shook her head and smiled
, knowing he’d halt what had begun in order to tell her their history. But she had other plans. She really didn’t care where they came from or to whom they were related. What she wanted was Kilter.

She turned on her side then crawled on top of him. He was about to protest when she lowered her mouth to his nipple. Her tongue slid over the sensitive skin, tasting, wandering, exploring.

He groaned low in his throat and his hands quickly came up and disposed of her shirt and bra with one quick movement.

“Nor do I care to at the moment,” she replied in a husky whisper as she pecked kisses up his chest to his neck
, then nuzzled against him.

“Sweet Jesus.” He grabbed her by the shoulders and flung her over onto her back making a low growl as he descended upon her. “I’ve never needed a
nyone as much I do you. So I’m going to fuck you, baby, until you scream with pure crazed ecstasy.” His fingers laced in her hair and he pulled aggressively so her chin rose. “Do you have any issues with that?”

Her breath hitched in her throat at his raw honest words. She tried to shake her head, but he held her too tight and she couldn’t move. Instead of panic, she felt the pooling and tingling between her legs.

“Do you?” he reiterated. His eyes never left her face, waiting for her answer, while he held her immobile.

“No,” she whispered. God, no. This man made her insides coil and explode into a thousand fragments. No lies. Raw sex with honesty as to what he wanted and expected.

He released her hair and a slow smile played at the corners of his lips. “Good. Then put your hands above your head and keep them there.” When she hesitated, he frowned. “You know I never repeat myself, babe.”

She quickly did as he asked and her nub pulsated with anticipation. Oh
God, what was he doing to her?

He leaned over her, one hand locking her wrists together above her head while the other reached between them and caressed circles around her upper inner thighs. “I’m going to make you come over and over again,” he whispered in her ear. “Then when I’m done with that, I’m going to come inside you hard and fast.”

She nearly came right then and there, but something told her Kilter wouldn’t allow that. No, this man would bring her to the brink repeatedly, only allowing her to let go when he said so.

“Open your legs wider
, babe,” Kilter demanded. When she did, he nodded his approval and then slid a finger through the wetness. “Just the way I like you, hot and wet.” He kissed her lips, brief and quick, and she tried to pull forward for more, but he backed away while putting his finger in his mouth. “Sweet.”

“Kilter, please.”

“And I love begging,” he said. “But we have only just begun. Save your begging for later, baby. You will need it.”