Steele: Into Your Heart (Carolina Bad Boys #3 (32 page)

“Don’t overthink it. I just want to be next to you, naked or not.”

I skimmed down to bare ass. Willing my cock to take a leap off the nearest cliff, or at least stand the fuck down, I slipped in next to her. “I can hold you, right?”

“Please.”

I blew out a huge breath and rolled onto my side. With Ashe in my arms, snuggled against me, I kept the embrace light. Kissing the nape of her neck, I wedged one of my legs between hers.

“It looks different,” she said.

“What does? The house?”

“Yes, I guess. But more than that.”

“What?”

“Life. Life looks different,” she whispered.

When she fell asleep, she held my palm against her breast. I slipped to sleep with the feel of her steady pulse beneath my fingers.

I woke hours later with a start. Ashe wasn’t in the bed. Worst-case scenario flashed through my head. Quickly pulling on jeans, I padded to Cara’s room and cracked the door to check on her. She was completely crashed out, all fine, except she had her earbuds in while she slept. I gently dislodged them before continuing my search of the house.

I found Ashe on the back deck, crying. Gathering her in my arms, I sat with her in my lap. I said nothing. There was nothing to say. She’d been through the worst kind of hell.

Eventually I carried her to bed, and as she fitfully slept, I kept watch.

Melted Steele

TWO MONTHS AFTER ASHE’S abduction,
I
popped back home at lunchtime to check in on her. She’d returned to work part time a couple weeks ago, still on desk duty. Cara was at school, the house quiet except for the tapping I heard coming from the living room where Ashe caught up on paperwork.

“Hey, babe! I’m home.”

“In here,” Ashe called out.

I stuck my head around the corner. “Beer?”

She scooted back on the sofa, rolling her head from side to side to loosen tense muscles. “Sounds good.”

I returned with two and clinked bottles with her. Leaning against the bookcase, I said, “You’ll never guess who called me today.”

“Let’s see. The pope? The president? Your pastor?” A playful glint lightened her gray irises.

“Wrong on all counts. Sipowicz. Said you skipped out on another counseling session yesterday.”

Just like that the teasing gleam in her eyes turned into an angry flash of cold steel. “I don't want to talk about it.”

“You’re not getting back on full duty until you’re cleared by psych.”

“Good. Maybe I’m not
fit
for duty.”

We’d gone through this same bullshit for the past several weeks. Ashe burying her head in the sand and becoming more miserable every fucking day. She pretended she was oka
y
—
and acted like she was on the mend during the day. As soon as she thought I was sleeping, she slipped downstairs, out to the deck, where she cried quietly until I scooped her up and carried back to bed. She wouldn’t open up to me. She wouldn’t talk to the counselor.

We hadn’t had sex yet because I was afraid of making everything worse. I didn’t even know if she wanted me to touch her anymore.

We were cracking apart.

Grabbing her by the hands, I pulled her up from the couch. “That’s bullshit and you know it.”

“I don’t feel like a cop! I don’t feel like a detective anymore.” Her hair fell in her eyes, and she pushed it back with angry shove. “I don’t even feel like a woman.” Flaring up, she grabbed the front of my shirt. “I feel like a victim, and I am
not
a victim. I don’t want to be a victim!” She hit my chest with every last word.

“Then why are you acting like one?” I stood unflinching, taking her blows.

“Oh, you’re unbelievable.” She released me and stalked across the room.

“I’m trying to get through to you. I know you’re not going to be how you were before, but goddammit, I want you to let me love you again. I want to take care of you!”

“You can’t.” Her flat voice just about broke my heart.

“Ash
e
—
”

“How can you take care of me when I couldn’t even protect myself? I thought I was going to die that night, Brodie.”

I’d thought the same thing, but I held those painful words inside, watching her warily as she paced back and forth.

“And I'd never see you or Cara again because of some idiot thug! He shot Leta right in front of my eyes when she tried to stop him from touching me. She hated me and she still tried to stop him. But I couldn't keep her alive. I couldn't keep our baby alive . . .” Ashe wrapped her arms around her belly and curled over. “I've been wounded before. I should be able to get past this.”

“Ashe,” I choked out her name, moving toward her. When my hands slipped onto her shoulders she huddled against me. “This is different. Dirk
”
—
I gritted my teeth because saying his name aloud made me want to kill someon
e
—
“didn’t wound you. He brutalized you. He kidnapped you. He almost fucking raped you.”

She shoved me away from her. “Is that why you won't touch me?”

“What the fuck?”

“Damaged goods. Or maybe you're angry because of the miscarriage?” She took a sip of beer, glaring at me. Then she hefted the bottle in her hand before throwing it at my head, almost hitting me.

The bottle shattered against the fireplace.

I knew better. My woman had killer aim. If she wanted to hit me, she wouldn’t have missed the mark.

“Are you out of your damn mind?” I stomped up to her and placed my beer in her hand. “Go on. Throw that one too. Hit something. Break something. Feel something!” I roared.

“I FEEL EVERYTHING!” She shook from head to toe as all the rage and pain surfaced.

I took the bottle from her hand and placed it on the coffee table. I ran my palms up her trembling arms and around the back of her neck.

Bending my forehead to hers, I whispered, “I know you do. It’s why you can’t sleep. I wish I could erase what happened to you. I wish I’d killed Dirk. I’d give anything to rewind to that morning so I could tell you to stay put in my bed.”

She snorted lightly.

“I know. As if, right?” I caressed her neck before sliding my hands down her back. “There’s not a goddamn day that goes by I don’t blame myself because I couldn’t protect you.”

Ashe tightened up, but I wouldn’t let her go.

“I know you don’t want me to. I know you’re a trained cop. But I’m not! So for once, just let me do what I can. Let me help you. Let me help you feel better, because right now? I feel useless.”

“If you think I'm so strong then fuck me like you used to and help me feel like a woman again!”

I recoiled. “What?”

“Stop goddamn tiptoeing around me and treating me like I’m going to break, Brodie.” She stabbed her finger to my chest. “You are overbearing, overprotective, and on my case twenty-four-seven.” Her voice softened and her fingers curled into my shirt as she said, “All the things I love about you, but I miss the other part. I miss
us
. So man up and fuck me already.”

Instant arousal thickened my cock, but I held off. “I wasn’t sure you wanted me to.”

“When have you ever been unsure about having me?” Her head tilted to the side, and her shirt slid off one shoulder to reveal smooth tawny skin I hadn’t kissed for ages. “Give me what I want, what I need.”

Crashing her against me, I went in no holds barred. My tongue drove between her lips, and she sucked it, massaging it with her own. I mashed her hair in my hands, slanting her head. When her leg rose up to my thigh, I skimmed my palm along the outside, lifting her skirt higher.

With my hand poised at the edge of her panties, I paused.

Ashe grinded against my cock. “And if you ask me if I’m okay every step of the way, the next time the beer bottle will hit its target.”

“Fuck, babe.”

“Yeah, let’s.”

We tore through clothes like we were on a speed trial then stood before each other completely naked, totally aching. With her legs pressed together, the soft blonde line of curls above her cunt pointed to the bead of her clit and her pouty lips.

My dick pulsed heavily.

I reached for her tits—thumbing the pert nipples—as she grabbed my ass, pulling me against her. Holding her with one arm around her waist, I bent her back. Her breasts thrust to the air. I captured one nub between my lips, groaning at the sweet taste of her on my tongue again.

Licking and tugging, I made my way to her other tit, covering it with wet kisses before latching on and sucking so hard my cheeks hollowed.

Ashe grabbed my shoulders and clung to me.

I slid to my knees in front of her. I nuzzled her belly, taking a moment to kiss her from one side to the other. Then I leveraged her thigh over my shoulder and spread her for me.

Her pussy was pearly pink and oh-so swollen. My cock dripped with precome at the sight.

“Jesus Christ. You’re so wet.”

Her head thrown back, she guided my mouth to her with her hands yanking and twisting my hair.

I pulled her silky pussy between my lips. “Fuck. You taste good,” I rumbled.

Prodding inside with my tongue, I listened to her moan. With my face buried between her thighs, my tongue dipping inside her, I played with her clit as the fleshy hood retracted. Her hips arched against my face. Her breasts swung back and forth when I looked up. She swayed from side to side, riding out the pleasure as I ate her with loud wet hunger.

Cupping Ashe’s fine ass, I pressed her against me. My teeth scraped her. My tongue speared her. My fingers pulsed on her. And she wailed above me, scratching her fingernails over my shoulders.

She tugged me up, shuddering and sweating, wet in all the right ways. Our lips met, soft and hot, deep and gasping. When she reached low to fist my cock in both her hands, I brought them to my lips.

“Not yet. I’ll go off if you touch me like that.”

Her naughty smile was all about the challenge.

Before she could make good on her wicked look, I took her in my arms and started up the stairs. The autumn sun slanted in around us, bathing everything in golden warmth.

“Where are we going?” she asked.

“I thought we could re-christen the bed first.”

“First?”

“Yeah.”

“I can walk, you know.”

“’Course you can. And you can be a detective again. You’re an awesome mom. An amazing woman. My woman. But right now you’re going to let me take care of you, let me make you feel good.”

Laying her on the bed, I kissed her collarbone, the dip of her hip, the top of her breast where her heart thrummed. When I kneeled beside her she licked her lips, zeroing in on my thick cock.

“Don’t look at me like that either. You can’t blow me because I need to be inside you.”

In answer, Ashe laid back and spread her legs. Her hands went to her breasts, lifting them. “This what you want?”

I snapped on a condom and crawled over her. “Yeah. And you can give me head later. I look forward to it.”

Ashe laughed low in her throat.

All joking stopped as I hovered over her. With my cock in one hand, I halted. “I don’t want to hurt you.”

“You could never hurt me.”

“I meant
”
—
I rubbed the pads of my fingertips over hersli
t
—
“here.” I dipped a finger inside her.

“
Ohh
. I think I’ll be okay.” She whimpered. “Just go slow this time.”

She was wet and hot and ready. That was all the evidence I needed.

Watching her the entire time, I entered her. I held back from thrusting deep, braced on my arms.

Tears slipped out of the corners of Ashe’s eyes.

I cupped her face and thumbed away the teardrops. “Hey, you okay?”
Fuck.
I immediately regretted the words.

“Yes,” she breathed out.

“Then why are you crying?”

“I was worried I wouldn’t . . .” She gave a slight shake of her head. “I didn’t know if I’d . . .”

“If you’d enjoy it? If you’d feel the same?”

Her legs wound around my hips, and her fingers threaded through my hair. She arched her back to take me farther inside.

“You like this.” I filled her with a long languorous thrust.

“You feel so good. I missed you. Missed this.”

Lunging powerfully inside the next time, I lowered on top of her until her hard nipples rasped my chest. “Too much? Too hard?”

“No! More.”

“Anything you want, darlin’.”

Ashe gasped my name, clamping onto my deep-seated cock.

She set me off inside her, and I curled over her, bucking hard, fucking fast. With my last plunge, I held her against me. My cock jerked inside her. I sought her lips, sinking into her mouth. Our slowing breaths turned into the unstoppable need for more.

After we made love agai
n
—
Ashe riding me into insane arousa
l
—
she fell on top of me. I smoothed one hand over her hair, the other up and down her back. I lay back and breathed deeply.

As her jagged respiration quickened instead of evening out, I asked, “Hey there. You okay? Did we go too fast?”

She shook her head against my chest. A sob broke free. Her hot tears wet my skin.

“Did I hurt you, Ashe?”

Her fingers dug into my back. Her wail loud and gut-wrenching, she cried out, “I lost your baby! I lost our baby, Brodie.”

Pulling her face to my neck, I held her close. “
Shh
. No you didn’t. It wasn’t you. Wasn’t your fault.”

Eventually her sobs slowed into quiet hiccups. “I’m worried you’ll blame me.

“I would never do that. Never. I promise.” With her face between my hands, I kissed away the tears. “I’m just so glad you’re alive. Will you let me back in? Will you come back to me?”

“I’m trying. I don’t want to be anywhere else.”

I smiled through the tears I wouldn’t let myself shed. “That’s good.” Kissing her forehead, I tangled our legs together. “You’ll start going to your counseling sessions?”