Steady (22 page)

“That’s what makes it the perfect time.”

“Don’t, Katrina.”

“What?”

“Don’t quit before you start. This is so your pattern,” she said, shaking her head in frustration. “This is so you. In like or lust, always from afar, of course, and just when it could be more, you quit. You always say it won’t work out.” She gave Katrina her best motherly look. “You’re scared is what you are.”

“Am not,” she said.

Lola pursed her lips and gave her a ‘don’t bullshit me’ look. “Sure you are, and I know what you’re afraid of.”

Katrina rolled her eyes, steeling herself for a lecture.

“You’re afraid to take a chance, scared that you’ll be hurt, so you just back away, curl up in your shell, like Sydney’s turtle,” she said.

“Whatever.”

“I mean, really, Katrina. Will hasn’t done anything besides showing you that he’s interested in you sexually, and you’re quitting. Sex that you wanted, may I remind you, and not too long ago. Wasn’t that what New Year’s Eve night was all about?” Lola asked, placing her hands over Sydney’s ears as she said the word “sex.” No need, as Syd sat with a fish stick suspended in mid-air, eyes glued to the TV as she sang along with the count.

“I’ve changed my mind is all,” Katrina said.

“Katrina,” Lola said, disappointment in her voice.

“I’m just saving myself some time here. It wouldn’t work out. I’d want more, and I can tell he wouldn’t. Plus we both know I’m not his type,” she said, giving the reason she’d decided to tell Lola.

Lola shook her head, disappointed in Katrina. “How do you know you’d want more; you have to try it first. He may not be any good, awful even.”

“Doubtful.”

“Yeah, doubtful,” Lola said.

“So, you see. I’d only end up hurt,” Katrina said.

“What I see is that this is so classic you,” Lola said, looking at her. “How many times have we been here? Remember Stanley?”

“I know, but what kind of name is Stanley?”

Lola shook her head. “Katrina.”

“I didn’t like him, anyway, too pushy,” she said, squeezing her nose in distaste.

Lola rolled her eyes. “Franklin, then?” she asked, eyebrows lifted.

Katrina squeezed her nose harder. “Momma’s boy,” she said.

“Zach?” Lola asked.

Katrina pretended to gag, moving her hand to cover her mouth.

Lola sighed. “Katrina, don’t quit again,” she said, sitting back in her chair and looking aggrieved.

“I know you like Will,
really
like Will, leaps above the others,” Lola said, now exasperated.

“See, that’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I would only end up hurt. Better to see me stop now. See, Lola, we’re here, you and me,” she said, pointing two fingers between her and Lola’s eyes. “We are in agreement.”

Lola shook her head and laughed. “What do I do with you?”

“I don’t know,” she answered, tuning in to
Sesame Street
now, where Kermit the frog sat alone, perched on a tree limb, singing mournfully, ‘It’s not easy being green.’

“
I’m feeling you there, Kermit,” she whispered, admitting to herself that Lola was right. But seeing Will in the nude was enlightening, her light-bulb moment.

She’d recognized the potential for some major hurt from this one. Nothing small about her desire for Will, and hurt would be the prize at the end of it all because she wanted that man something powerful. Wanted him fiercely, forcefully, and limitlessly, the scariest adverb of them all. She wanted him more than was safe for her sanity and more than he wanted her for sure. And that kind of want scared her shitless. It was way too much.

This man, unlike the others, was one she could truly love, and so far love had not been good to her. For her, love mostly brought loss, and she wasn’t up for any more losses. She’d had her fill, thank you very much. She was quitting while she was ahead.

***

Katrina picked up her cell phone a week later to call Will. She’d put this off long enough. They had exchanged numbers due to the competition, but she hadn’t called him. It was back to hiding out again since the backyard scene. The competition, her responsibilities to it and to Will, had her calling.

He was leaving, and he would be gone for a while—overseas, somewhere in Asia—for three weeks. He’d given her a copy of his schedule. The first set of plans was due to the city May 1, and, according to her calculations, Will would be overseas.

She dialed the number and waited. No answer, so she left a message.

“Hey, Will, I’ve finished the preliminary budget and planting schedule and I was hoping I could drop if off. Maybe you would have a chance to review it while you’re gone, maybe on the plane. Also wanted to make sure you’re okay with the first deadline. Anyway, call me and I’ll drop them by, or if I don’t hear from you, I’ll leave them on your doorstep,” she said, hanging up.

***

“Will, please, baby. Oh, that’s it, harder, yes, more,” Charlotte groaned, her head bent over, hair covering her face. She was on her knees in the middle of Will’s bed, her arms out-stretched before her, her wrist captured in one of Will’s hands in a firm grip, his other hand at her hip, holding her in place as he pushed into her. “Oh, please,” she said, her request ending in a groan so loud and so filled with pleasure that Will had to grit his teeth to keep from coming.

He pulled back for a second, centering, and he pushed back into her body, loving the way she felt surrounding him. Perspiration ran down his face, his hair glistening from the effort of fucking her. He pushed in harder, focused solely on moving in and out of her body, sure, strong thrusts, forceful, a little bit punishing in their power. He was attuned to only the movement, the glide in and out of her body.

Her arms gave out and she fell forward. He let go of her wrist then, moving his other hand to the side of her body to lift her hips and hold her still, relentless in his quest to fill her. He felt her climax begin, and, in spite of his best efforts, he came, too, and collapsed on top of her.

He lay there breathing for a second, regaining his breath before separating from her and rolling over onto his back. She rolled onto her stomach. His eyes found hers staring back at him between strands of her hair.

“What got into you?” she asked, giving him a huge smile. “And do you think it could get into you more often?” He gave her a small grin.

He took a deep breath, turning at the sound of his cell phone ringing in the distance; ignoring it, he pondered the answer to her question. Katrina had gotten into him, he thought, but he didn’t think telling Charlotte that was a good idea so he remained quiet.

He had wanted Katrina, but since that idea had fallen through, Charlotte was the backup plan; a good one, an energetic one, but still the backup.

This was maddening; the push from Katrina to sleep with him, from New Year’s Eve night to her standing in his backyard, and now that he’d finally gotten on board, she was backing off. He didn’t know what he’d expected or had hoped would have happened after his slideshow.

He’d called the next evening, raring to go, and had gotten a wall instead of the your-place -or-mine question he’d expected. So what now? What did she want? He didn’t do games; this push forward and now pull back was not for him. He wanted to tell her that it didn’t need to be complicated. He had what she wanted; hell, what she’d wanted for a while now, and he was so on board with giving it to her. Only now she was giving him this “I’m Not Interested, Let’s Keep This Professional” act He hadn’t seen her outside, either. At all. Not like before, so it was back to square one. Back to avoiding him.

That wasn’t the worst of it; the worst was she was becoming a frequent and annoying intrusion into his thoughts. She’d silently and quietly taken up residence just under the surface of his skin.

Charlotte blew the hair from her face and sat up. “Are you listening to me?” she asked, her body a pleasure to look at.

“Sorry, thinking about my work trip tomorrow.”

“Not a good comeback, Will. No woman wants to hear that after what we’ve just shared,” she said.

He smiled, turning to her, leaning over to kiss her mouth in apology.

“That’s better, and you can’t know how much I’d like some more of this, but I’ve got to go. Meeting my sister to try on bridesmaid dresses,” she said, looking over at him, beautiful body stretched out still, and sighed. “Want me to come back by later?”

“Nope, heading out of town tomorrow; I’ll call you when I get back,” he said, sitting up, putting his feet on the floor. “I’m going to take a shower. Can you see yourself out?”

“Sure. Try and miss me while you’re gone,” she said, crawling across the bed to him, pushing her body into his back, wrapping her arms around him.

“Of course,” he said, removing her arms, standing up and going into his bathroom.

Charlotte was gone when he emerged, towel wrapped around his waist in deference to the Katrina-in-his-backyard incident. He went to check his messages and, speak of the devil, it was Katrina wanting to drop off the work she’d completed with his designs. She had called fifteen minutes ago. He picked up his phone and dialed her number; she answered.

“Hello.”

“Katrina, I got your message, and I’m home if you haven’t dropped off the plans yet. Come over; I needed to ask a favor of you,” he said, trying out his own version of her business tone. He could do businesslike, too, he told himself, still smarting from the change in her behavior.

“Sure,” she said, once again trying out her new professional voice, dialing back the sex quotient, going for the just-friends thing now; she would have to remind herself of that often. She would have much preferred the dropping-off option; she was nowhere near ready to face Will.

***

She rang the doorbell and waited, hearing movement inside. The door opened to reveal him in sweats and a plain T-shirt.

Heaven help me, she thought, shaking her hands to quiet them; they were back to that damn twitching. Pulling back from him was going to be harder than she’d thought.

“Come in, we can work in here,” he said, pointing to his study, giving her a small smile and stepping back to let her enter. She followed him, taking a seat on the couch, speaking up immediately.

“So I’m returning the plans you gave me. I made a copy for myself, and these are the budgets and planting schedules. Take your time and look them over. Remember, the plans are due to the city May 1. The budget and planting schedules aren’t due until July, and that’s only if we are one of the five selected. I like to get an early start,” she said, handing over the packet of information, which he accepted, placing it on his desk.

He turned and sat on the edge of it, legs extended, arms crossed, looking beyond sexy, and watched her. She had no idea of his thoughts, but her eyes were eating him up. Such a feast.
You are in danger
, she wanted to tell him, her eyes drawn to his body, covered today in clothes, but still naked to her.

He cleared his throat and Katrina’s eyes jolted back up to his. Okay, this moving on wasn’t going to be easy. She knew it, but hard choices rarely were. What was she saying? Oh, yeah.

“Okay. Have you made arrangements to have them dropped off to the committee May 1, or will you be back in town by then?” she asked.

“No, I won’t be back by then. I’m leaving tomorrow, which is why I wanted to see you in person. I was hoping you wouldn’t mind turning them in for me.”

“No, I don’t mind. I’ve done this for a while, and I’ll have an opportunity to check up on some of my friends from the old days,” she said.

He continued to watch her. Having nothing further to add she stood, preparing to leave. “Well, okay, I’ll see you later. Have a safe trip,” she said, turning to walk out of the room.

“Are you in a hurry?” he asked, reaching for her hand, catching her before she walked out. He was suddenly not in any hurry for her to leave now that she was here, his irritation with her behavior falling away. He wanted her to stay, and he was a little bewildered by this need.

“No,” she said, shaking her head, not sure what to do now. Startled by the contact, she pulled her hand away. “Why?”

“I had hoped you might want a personal tour of my backyard. You seem to like it so much, I thought you might be interested in the reasoning behind its design,” he said, going for humor, back to teasing.

“That’s okay.”

“No, I would like very much to show it to you. You need to feel at home back there,” he said. Watching her face scrunch up, he smiled. “You’re welcome back there whenever you want, by the way,” he said, again smiling at her facial expressions, embarrassment and interest flickering across her face. “If I have company over, however, you may get more than an eyeful,” he said, and laughed out loud at her expression. “How about I leave a white towel on the back fence? If I have someone over, then you’ll know to stay away, unless you’re really into voyeurism.”

“You’re so not funny. One time, and you make such a big deal of it,” she said, choosing bravado over embarrassment.