Starstruck (21 page)

I
manage to walk four steps before it hits me – I have a boyfriend. Oh God, I have
a boyfriend. I’m panicking because I haven’t had a boyfriend in years and I’m
not entirely sure how they work anymore. One thing that’s really freaking me
out is the fact he is a, shock/horror, normal guy. You know what? I’m not going
to over-think it, I’m going to just go with the flow and enjoy being happy.
Despite my already achy feet, I think I’m going to walk the long route home –
the one that will take me past the venue we were at last night, just to see if
the bus is still there. It will be interesting to see if they did drive through
the night because I'm pretty sure they were bullshitting me about that.

The
buses seem small when you’re living on them, but when it comes to hiding them
it’s impossible. Clear as day in the venue car park, there is the tour bus. Do
I care? Do I balls! If Luke is going to be that immature, that’s fine by me, I
don’t care. If I cared then I’d be banging on the bus door right now, bellowing
for an explanation. Instead I decide that the best thing to do is walk straight
past and go home. Home where I can have a nice long bath and think about how
lucky I am to be with a nice, sweet guy instead of some horny musician who
picks me up and puts me down, and alternates me with God knows how many other
girls. I’ll hold my head high and walk straight past. I don’t need them.

‘Oi,’
I hear a voice call from behind me. It’s Eddie, who is propped up against the
bus smoking a cigarette. When I’d spotted the bus I was at the opposite side,
so I didn’t notice him standing outside.

‘Hello
you,’ I call back, walking over to see him. I can’t ignore Eddie, can I? He
hasn’t done anything wrong. ‘How’s the foot?’

‘It’s
not bad. They’re keeping me drugged up, I can’t feel a thing.’

So
much for him being in too much pain to party last night. Eddie’s face drops
when he realises the conclusion I have come to.

‘He’d
have me for saying this, but Luke really likes you. Seeing you with that guy
just got to him.’

I
don’t get chance to say anything else because the bus door opens and three
girls stagger off, complete with messy hair, smeared make-up and
the-night-before clothes.

‘See
you next time girls,’ Eddie says with a wink.

‘Don’t
roll your eyes, Miss Wilde,’ he chuckles. I didn’t realise I had. ‘You know
that walk of shame better than anyone.’

‘Well
not any more. I’m a changed lady.’

‘Changed?
How?’ he lights up another cigarette.

‘Because
I have a boyfriend, no more walks of shame for me.’ I may as well tell him.
What I don’t tell him is that I’ve only had a boyfriend for about twenty
minutes, but he doesn’t really need to know that little detail.

‘Wow.
Nicole Wilde. A boyfriend. I never thought I’d see the day, congratulations.’

‘Thank
you. So where are you guys heading now?’

‘London.
Last night of tour, the party is going to be huge. You should come!’

‘Really?’
I ask, shocked to be invited.

‘Yes,
you were supposed to be with us anyway. It wouldn’t be the same without you,
you’re one of the gang.’

I
can tell he genuinely wants me to be there, and I really want to say yes. Will
things be awkward with Luke though? It’s Saturday, I’ll be back tomorrow
lunchtime so I won’t miss any work. Luke is my only reason not to go... fuck
it.

‘Ok,
I’ll go pack a bag! How long have I got?’

‘We’re
leaving in an hour – and not without you, so hurry up. I know what you’re like.’

‘Will
Luke mind?’ I ask.

‘Fuck
Luke!’ he laughs. ‘I need a nurse and you’re the lady for the job. Go pack your
bag, I’ll break the news to Luke. Actually, I’ll stay here propped against this
bus until someone comes to help me back on, but then I’ll break it to him.’

‘Ok,
don’t leave without me.’

I
walk off as my heels will allow. I’m going on tour.

Hovering
at the tour bus door, I wonder if this really is a good idea. I just want
everything to go back to normal – to be able to sort things out with Luke and
carry on touring with them – but I worry this is asking for trouble. I’ve got
two choices, I can get on the bus or I can turn around and go home, it isn’t
too late to spare myself the drama.

The
bus door opens, and tour manager Mick steps off.

‘They’re
expecting you, climb aboard,’ he tells me out of the side of his mouth that
isn’t occupied by a cigarette.

Ok,
maybe it is too late. I climb the stairs and take a deep breath before making
my way to the living area – where a lot of noise is coming from.

‘Hello
boys.’ I smile nervously.

I
am greeted by an echo of hellos, although I'm not entirely sure I heard one
from Luke. Everyone is on the sofa, apart from Ben who is rummaging through the
fridge.

Less
than five minutes on board and I'm reminded just how much I love the bus.

 ‘Give
it up, Benjy. You’re not going to find anything,’ Eddie yells at him. ‘We’re
all out of everything,’ he tells me. ‘We’ve sent Mick for supplies. Then we’re
off.’

Ben
obediently slams the fridge door closed.

‘Get
her that thing while you’re up,’ Eddie orders him.

‘What
thing?’ I ask, rather worried.

‘You’ll
see.’

Ben
comes back with a little nurse’s cap on an elastic headband. It’s white with a
blue cross on the front, and from the looks of it I’d guess they got it from a
branch of Ann Summers rather than an actual nurse.

‘Get
it on, Nurse Wilde. You promised you’d look after me,’ Eddie chuckles.

I
think myself lucky I don’t have to wear the whole outfit and dutifully put it
on, adjusting it in the mirror behind me. I decide not to ask where it came
from – or who wore it before me – because I’m certain I do not want to know.

‘Nurse
Wilde. Sounds like a porn star,’ Mark suggests.

I
laugh. ‘You should be so lucky!’

Even
quiet little Ben looks me up and down and tells me it suits me – he even winks
at me! I'm not sure quiet little Ben is that quiet any more, he has officially
been corrupted, but who didn’t see that one coming?

‘And
you have to keep it on until I say otherwise,’ Eddie informs me.

‘I
will. You alright, Luke?’ I ask because he’s being awfully quiet.

‘Yep,
not bad,’ he tells me bluntly. ‘You?’

‘Yeah,
I’m great.’ I sit down next to him.

Eddie
grabs the PS3 controller and throws the other one at Mark.

‘Game
on!’ he bellows, and they resume their game.

Ben
is hunched over an acoustic guitar, alternating between strumming and jotting
things down in his notebook. With everyone suitably distracted I lean closer to
Luke.

‘You
sure you’re ok? You seem a bit quiet.’

‘Yeah,
I’m fine,’ he says, still cold as ice. ‘You have a good night last night?’

‘It
was great! You guys were great. It felt weird leaving you and going home so
early, though.’

‘Yeah,
well Ed was in a lot of pain. I’m sure your boyfriend was glad to get you home
early too.’

Oh,
so Eddie told him then.

I
ignore the latter part of his reply. ‘Well it felt all wrong going home, but
we’ll make up for it tonight.’

‘Yeah,
gonna be a big one.’ Luke rests his head on the back of the sofa and closes his
eyes. I think the conversation is over.

‘Supplies
are here,’ tour manager Mick calls out, dumping the shopping bags on the table
and wandering off in his usual blunt manner.

‘Beer!’
Eddie yells.

‘I
suppose that’s my job,’ I laugh, although somehow it ends up being my job to
put everything away too.

‘Mmm!
Put that on the bottom shelf,’ Eddie shouts in a pervy yet jokey way. This
causes Luke to open his eyes, but only for long enough to give us disapproving
look.

‘Crap!’
Mark yells, throwing his controller across the bus. They’re playing some football
game, and Eddie is wiping the floor with him.

With
everyone occupied I grab a can of Coke from the fridge (Mick always picks some
up when I’m with the boys because the only other liquids they usually drink on
the bus are water and beer) and sit down next to Eddie. Ben is still attached
to his guitar. I don’t know what he is playing but it sounds familiar.

‘What
song is that?’ Eddie asks him.

‘Just
something I’m working on,’ he replies.

‘I’ve
heard it before, I’m sure.’ Eddie pauses the game. ‘Play some more.’

‘No,
I just made it up,’ Ben says defensively.

‘I’m
telling you, I recognise it. Someone back me up.’

‘It
does sound a little familiar,’ I say truthfully.

‘Come
on, Ben. Keep playing,’ Eddie demands, and Ben does as he is told.

Everyone
stops and listens carefully to Ben’s “new” tune, trying work out where we’ve
heard it before.

‘I've
got it!’ I jump up, rather pleased with myself. ‘That first part, it sounds
like Basket Case by Green Day.’

‘Yes!’
Eddie claps his hands. ‘That’s it! She’s got your number, boy wonder. Come on,
play it properly this time.’

Defeated,
Ben starts to play the song again, this time actually playing Basket Case and
it isn’t long before everyone joins in. Even Luke has perked up, tapping the
drum beat on the table with his hands.

‘A
sing-a-long is just what this bus needs,’ Eddie concludes afterwards. ‘What are
we singing next?’

It’s
amazing how a little sing song has changed the mood of the entire bus. Ben –
who can play anything you ask of him – takes a few requests and plays a few
more songs.

‘Oi,
Nurse Wilde,’ Eddie shouts out, right in the middle of our take on Bon Jovi’s
Wanted Dead or Alive.

‘Yeah?’
I reply.

‘I
need a piss, help me out.’

You
must be joking!’ I squeal, and he gives me that cheeky smile of his that tells
me he
is
joking. It isn’t hard to understand why girls fall at his feet
– these days I think he’s tripping them up with his crutches.

‘You
really are taking the piss with that one, darling,’ I reply.

We
finally arrive in London and are swiftly ushered into the venue through the
back door. There was a huge crowd of fans waiting for the band and no security
in place yet, so Mick had to try and drive through them.

We
are shown into a very nice dressing room and the boys are straight over to
food. Rather than risk my life trying to get through them, I sit down. I can
eat while they’re doing the soundcheck. I consider texting Charles to tell him
I'm in the area. I consider it, but I do not do it. How desperate would that
seem? He travels all that way to see me, asks me to be his girlfriend, travels
all the way home and then I turn up on his doorstep. Anyway, he’s at an event
tonight so I couldn’t see him if I wanted to.

Mick
walks through the door with a skinny brunette, she doesn’t look very old – I’d
guess about eighteen - and she has an excited look on her face.

‘Ben!’
she calls out, running over to him, wrapping her arms around him and giving him
a sloppy kiss on the lips.

‘Guys
this is my girlfriend Carla,’ he says proudly. He has a massive grin on his
face - that is of course until he makes eye contact with me. His smile vanishes
and the colour drains from his face. He’s probably having flashbacks from that
night in Birmingham when I walked in on him with some girl. Whoever that girl
was, she isn’t this girl. There is an awkward moment where everyone just
freezes and says nothing, apart from Eddie who is cramming Quavers into his
mouth and chuckling.

Probably
thinking he’s doing the right thing, Mick gestures towards me. ‘Go sit with
Nicole, she’ll keep you company.’

If
it’s even possible, Ben’s face goes even paler as Carla does as she is told and
sits next to me. Ben reluctantly goes back over to his band mates, where he
carefully monitors the situation.

‘Hi,
I’m Carla.’ She offers me a hand to shake.

‘I’m
Nicole.’

‘I’ve
never been backstage before,’ she confesses. ‘It’s not what I expected at all.’

‘Really?’
I ask, curiously.

‘Yeah,
I thought it would be dead glamorous!’

‘Would
you believe me if I told you this was one of the nicer backstage areas I’ve
been in?’

‘No
way! So do you do this a lot?’ she asks, clearly fascinated.

‘A
few.’ Never one to brag.

‘How
come?’

‘I’m
a journalist.’ And a groupie.