Starr Fated (21 page)

“Just stay
away from your house for a while. Seraphina is moving out, and
she’d rather you didn't come back until she’s gone. I think you owe
her that much at least, don’t you?”

“Whatever.
Seems a rather extreme reaction to me. I'm over her, so she needn’t
flatter herself that I’d waste any more time on her. Anyway, I
expect I can hang out at Poppy’s. We have some unfinished business
to attend to.”

“Of course. A
nice easy screw for you. So satisfying.”

“I don’t know
why you sound so disapproving, Liam. I’d have thought you’d have
been pleased. This is exactly how you like to do things, isn’t it?
No strings sex. Just a great fuck for both parties.”

What could I
say? It was true. But now this behaviour just seemed to leave a bad
taste in my mouth.

“Just remember
not to go back to the house before tomorrow evening. We’ll talk
about this further when you’re fully sober.”

Then I left
him to it, pretty certain he’d be on his mobile to see if he could
get Poppy to return the second the door closed behind me.

~*~

It was pretty
late by the time I got to bed in the early hours of Sunday morning,
and I slept only fitfully. In the morning, I felt very restless, so
I went for my usual swim and gym workout, then spent most of the
day thinking through everything that had happened. I took stock of
my life and how I was living it.

I didn't like
what I saw.

I saw a cold,
selfish, heartless man, one who was very successful in all areas,
except for the most important one- my shallow personal life. It
probably explained why I always got bored so easily and constantly
felt restless.

My personal
life was nothing but a bare shell. I was a cold and calculating
heartless bastard. That could also be interpreted as efficient and
driven, but for what purpose? To make more money? I had more than
enough for everything I needed. Where was I headed with the rest of
my life? What was my goal? What did I want?

However I
tried to look at things, whichever way I turned things around in my
head, it always came back to the same thing, the same answer.

Seraphina was
the key.

She was the
element that was missing in my life. I wanted Seraphina. Not just
because she was beautiful and I was undeniably incredibly
physically attracted to her. It went much deeper than that. This
connection between us meant that I wanted to change things for her,
so that she didn't have to struggle and work so hard all the time.
I wanted to look after her and keep her safe. I wanted to change,
to become a different kind of man – one that she would want to get
to know and spend time with. For the first time, I wanted to share
my life with someone. I wasn’t quite sure how to classify these
feelings I had, or even just what they were. All I knew was that I
wanted to be with Seraphina in some way.

But I knew I’d
messed things up really badly because I'd refused to admit having
these feelings. I’d snubbed her when she’d looked to me to
acknowledge the connection between us, and now I was paying the
price. No, worse than that Seraphina had paid the price, because
deep down, I knew it was my denial of anything between us that had
made her throw herself at Jamie so foolishly. And yes, he’d behaved
atrociously, but I had set him such a bad example. Thank God things
hadn't turned out even worse than they had.

How I’d felt
when Jamie said Seraphina had run out on him, when I didn't know if
she was safe, finally forced me to confront my feelings. I’d felt
such immense fear and panic, and I hadn't been able to rest until
I'd found her and seen for myself that she was alright. I'd been
too scared to acknowledge the bond between us, hiding behind the
fact that she was supposed to be my brother’s girl. I'd told myself
I was being so noble in standing back, when he hadn't really been
that serious about her anyway. It was probably my disapproving
attitude towards Seraphina that had made him so determined to prove
me wrong and stubbornly continue in his pursuit of her.

Whichever way
I looked at things, I didn't come out of this at all well. I’d let
everyone down, but Seraphina most of all.

I was
determined that the moment she turned up at the office on Monday
morning, I would seize the opportunity to try to make amends and
ask for a chance to start over with her. I wanted to have this
sorted between us before I headed out to the States next week for
all my meetings - the meetings that had been the reason for the
urgency of the company rebranding that had led to Seraphina coming
into my life. At least I had no regrets about initiating that
project, because that was the trigger that had set events into
motion.

Having thought
all this through, I slept a little more soundly on Sunday night,
thankful that at least I had a chance to set things right which I
was going to grab with both hands.

~*~

I got to the
office extra early on Monday morning, and left strict instructions
with security that I was to be notified the moment Seraphina Jones
arrived in the building, and that she was not to leave until I’d
seen her. Then I did my best to get on with some work. There was a
lot to get in place before my trip to New York. I’d emailed Simon
warning him to expect Seraphina’s work, so he was now on standby to
organise finishing off her designs. I knew he was less than
thrilled about the fact that I'd opted to use her designs, but he
was just going to have to suck it up, seeing as his team hadn’t
been able to come up with anything that was even close to the
standard of her work.

I was
surprised when it got to ten o'clock and Seraphina still hadn't
turned up. I tried ringing her mobile, but it was turned off, which
I was not at all happy about. So I sent a text and also emailed
her, but still got no response. I could feel the worry starting to
permeate through me, because I hated not being able to get in
contact with her. Finally I got a call, but it wasn’t the one I'd
been hoping for.

“Miss Jones’
designs have arrived,” Joy, my ever efficient PA informed me.

“About time.
Send Miss Jones straight in.”

“She’s not
here. Apparently her friend has just dropped them into
reception.”

“What? Why? Is
she ill or something?”

“I’ve no idea,
Mr. Starr.”

“Then I want
to speak to this friend. I want to know why Miss Jones isn’t here
in person.”

“I think they
may have already left, sir. You only left instructions about seeing
Miss Jones,” Joy pointed out.

“Well, get
security to go after this other person. I need to speak to
them.”

“I’ll try, but
it may already be too late.”

I paced up and
down in my office as I waited, berating myself for not having
foreseen this. I'd just assumed Seraphina would turn up today, but
maybe she’d been more badly hurt than I'd realised. Why the hell
hadn't I insisted on taking her for a check up, or at least tried
to see her yesterday as I'd wanted to, instead of ignoring my
instincts and convincing myself the sensible thing to do was to
give her space to recover from her ordeal? How was she supposed to
know I was concerned about her if I didn't communicate it to her in
some way?

I snatched the
phone from my desk when it rang.

“Mr. Starr?
They’ve managed to locate the friend, and she’s on her way up now,”
Joy informed me.

Thank God.

A couple of
minutes later, Joy showed the friend in. It was the girl with the
bright red hair, Abbey, and she was carrying a large art folder of
the type I’d seen in Seraphina’s room.

“Where’s
Seraphina? Has something happened to her?” I couldn’t believe how
let down and disappointed I felt that Abbey was here instead of
her.

“Sera’s okay,
although I can't deny she was acting rather weirdly when I dropped
her at the airport yesterday. But there’s a letter in this folder
for you which she said explains everything,” Abbey informed me as
she passed the folder over.

“Airport? Why
were you dropping her there?” I asked, with a horrid sinking
feeling in the pit of my stomach.
She’s left. You’ve missed your
chance.

“She’s gone to
visit her family. But according to Sera, everything you need for
this project she’s been working on is in the folder, all her notes
and her memory stick. She said your team shouldn’t have any
problems finishing it off in time for this major deadline of yours,
if that’s what you’re worried about.” Abbey was staring so hard at
me, it almost seemed as if she was trying to read my mind in some
way.

“I thought she
didn't have any family? So where exactly has she gone?” I realised
how little I knew about her.
You never bothered to find anything
out, did you?

“To Ireland.
Her Gran lives over there, and she has some other family as well, I
believe,” Abbey replied, as her eyes continued to bore into me.

“Ireland? This
is all a bit sudden, isn’t it? And what about her university work?
Surely she wouldn’t just take off and not complete her degree when
she’s worked so hard for it?” It didn't make sense when I knew how
important it was to her to get a decent degree. That much I did
know about her.

“I just handed
her final course piece in this morning for her, before I came here.
She’s been working really hard on it and managed to get it finished
ahead of schedule,” Abbey explained.

“Where in
Ireland? How long is she planning to stay away for?” I tried to
figure out what to do next. I'd pinned all my hopes on being able
to talk to Seraphina today.

“I’m not sure
exactly where in Ireland. I think she flew out to Cork, but that’s
about all I can tell you, because I don’t really know much about
her family. Sera’s not one to talk much about anything personal.
And I’m not sure when she’s coming back – or even if she is coming
back, actually,” Abbey calmly stated.

“What do you
mean? You don’t think she’s coming back?” I was horrified by this
possibility.

“Sera’s
talking about relocating to Dublin or Cork, if she can find a
suitable job. I think she’s given up hope of getting a place on the
exchange program, and I think she’d like to be nearer to her family
instead of always struggling on her own. I guess she’s thinking
that once she’s finished her studies, there’s nothing to keep her
here in London.” Abbey stared at me as she continued. “I also think
something happened this weekend that was a large factor in her
sudden decision to leave, but she wouldn’t tell me what it was,
apart from when I asked how her date with Jamie went, she said it
was a total disaster. Don’t suppose you’d happen to know anything
about that would you?”

I exhaled
loudly as I scrubbed my face with my hands. I looked at Abbey
defiantly standing there, hands on hips as she watched for my
reaction, shrewdly taking in the tension that was undeniably
radiating from me. She was a similar height and build to Seraphina,
but that was where any similarity ended. Her hair was a very
artificial bright red colour, and she had assorted facial
piercings, including a lip ring and a nose stud. She had some kind
of a tattoo on her chest peaking out from the edge of her top. She
wore heavy black eyeliner, and some kind of dark lipstick, that
almost matched her black nail varnish. And her clothes were a
hideous mismatch of a red patterned skirt, a green patterned top
and a black jacket. Normally I wouldn’t have given a girl like her
the time of day. But she was my only connection left with
Seraphina, and I’d gathered from the number of phone calls and
texts she’d exchanged with this friend while we’d been working
together that they were pretty close.

So, should I
take this kooky female into my confidence, or continue to deny
there was anything between Seraphina and me, and close the door on
any hope of re-establishing some kind of contact? Abbey had
witnessed the incident between us at the club the other evening,
and it was obvious she was nobody’s fool. Maybe she could help me.
I decided that right now, Abbey was my best option. In any case,
what did I have to lose by taking her into my confidence?

“Things went
badly wrong between Seraphina and my brother on Saturday night,
because he behaved atrociously towards her when she wanted to back
out of spending the night with him. Luckily nothing too serious
happened, thank God. I stepped in to try and sort things out and
look after Sera but it looks as if I failed miserably. It seems
I’ve only made things worse if she’s felt the need to run away,
haven’t I?”

“I saw how
close you two were when you were together at the club the other
night. I'm telling you I’ve never seen Sera act the way she did
with you before, even when she’s been really drunk. After all the
doubts she’s had, letting go with you would have been a really big
deal for her. For you to casually sneer at her the way you did and
deny you felt anything convinced her you weren’t interested. So
what’s with all the concern now about where she is and when she’s
coming back? Do you have feelings for her? Do you care about her? I
mean really care about her?” Abbey demanded.

“Truthfully, I
don’t really understand what these feelings I have for Seraphina
are, I just know I can't ignore them anymore. I genuinely thought I
was doing the right thing by shutting myself off from her the other
evening, that it was in her best interests. With hindsight, I can
see that perhaps it would’ve been better to have been more honest
and maybe prevented the whole fiasco with Jamie. So I'd planned to
talk to her today to try and figure things out between us, but
perhaps it’s already too late and I’ve missed my chance,” I
reluctantly opened up to Abbey. I ran my hands through my hair in
frustration at finding myself in this position.

“Maybe you
should read what’s in the letter she’s written. That might offer a
few clues about whether or not there’s a way forward in this whole
mess you’ve managed to create,” Abbey suggested. She unzipped the
large folder, reaching inside to produce a white envelope that she
handed over to me. It was addressed to Mr. L.J. Starr, in Sera’s
distinctive handwriting.