The Shooting

PRAISE FOR JAMES BOICE

"In
The Shooting
, James Boice offers a timely and scathing indictment of our current gun-happy culture, cross-cutting hearts and minds in his incomparable take-no-prisoners style. Another stunner from Boice."

—Elizabeth Crane, author of
The History of Great Things

"Finding James Boice has been a revelation for me. His hard-bitten prose flies off the page at you like the cracking of a machine gun..."

—Tony O'Neill, author of
Sick City

"James Boice's sentences crack like hot electric bullwhips across the backs of America's demons."

—Christopher Ransom, author of
The Birthing House

"Boice's prose grabs you and never lets go."

—Orlando Sentinel

"[James Boice] masterfully employs a style all his own."

—Boston Magazine

"There's a jittery brilliance...[James Boice] has considerable stylistic flair."

—Kirkus Reviews

The Unnamed Press

P.O. Box 411272

Los Angeles, CA 90041

1 3 5 7 9 10 8 6 4 2

Copyright © 2016 by James Boice

ISBN: 978-1-944700-20-1

Library of Congress Control Number: 2016949289

This book is distributed by Publishers Group West

Cover design & typeset by Jaya Nicely

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are wholly fictional or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.

All rights reserved, including the right to reproduce this book or portions thereof in any form whatsoever. Permissions inquiries may be directed to
[email protected]
.

To Rasika,

for her faith, her trust, her fearlessness

CONTENTS

     
1. See-You-Next-Tuesday

     
2. The Gun

(Sheeple I)

     
3. The Doctor

(Sheeple II)

     
4. The Guardian of the Flock:

(Sheeple III)

     
5. The Guardian of the Flock:

(Sheeple IV)

     
6. The Boy

(Sheeple V&VI)

     
7. The Handyman

(Sheeple VII, VIII & IX)

     
8. The Myth

(Sheeple X & XI)

     
9. Farewell to Arms

(Sheeple XII)

   
10. Self-Protection

   
11. The Inheritance

   
12. The Nuclear Option

1

SEE-YOU-NEXT-TUESDAY

Cunt
is a terrible thing to call a person. But to many, there is no person more terrible than this one here wandering through Terminal A of Kentucky's Blue Grass Airport. She is a slender, designer-dress-wearing woman of vague olive-toned ethnicity and indeterminate age—she could be black, she could be white; she could be thirty, she could be fifty—with clacking heels and rich thick hair dyed to conceal strands of white, pulling her wheeled suitcase behind her with one hand while she flicks through her phone with the other hand, earbud in her ear, punching in the dial-in code to join the conference call she is late for—and she, her enemies believe, will bring about the end of America. Compared with this woman, Hillary Clinton is the gang bang queen of the GOP. She likes that they refer to her as simply the Cunt
—My mononym,
she jokes.
Like Beyoncé.
The extreme Republicans—the Tea Party buzz-cutted, divorced, red-faced, racist Internet types—call her
cunt
straight out, while the rest of the party, those publicly moderate types pretending for voters to be embarrassed by their open-carrying John Birch/NRA cousins but in fact are counting on them and winking to them through the lens of C-SPAN at every floor speech, prefer calling her See-You-Next-Tuesday. You know—in case of a hot mic or undercover operative with a phone and its video camera open and the red light on.
Cunt.
On cue, whenever they see mention of it, her staffers and supporters
and members—90 percent female—get twisted up about
cunt,
they get mean and indignant, stomping around, losing themselves in sputtering monologues and in hammering out op-ed rants; these young diverse women, with educations and abilities, who drool seeing such a big, fat, disgusting, denigrating dismissal thrown down the middle of the plate by these smug, white, aging, entitled men.

But See-You-Next-Tuesday likes it, she loves it—they don't call you
cunt
unless you're
good,
she reminds them, unless you're
scary—
and she is great at what she does, she is fucking scary. She loves
cunt—cunt
has balls. You need those if you have been called to do what she has been called to do, which is start the next American Civil War. Though she prefers calling it the next
American Revolution
or the first American
Age of Enlightenment.
She considers herself a Gandhi or MLK Jr.—hell, even a Jesus
(though if I were to walk into a church,
she jokes,
I'd probably catch on fire).
America needs someone to usher it into the future and she is tired of waiting—she is that someone. The disappointment of Obama was the straw that broke See-You-Next-Tuesday's back, in that regard. There are no people in the history of the world who hate enlightenment and progress more than the American people, as far as she's concerned, so if
cunt
is the worst she gets and not nails through the hands or a bullet through the head or any of the other ways this country likes to repay its saints, then she will take
cunt
all day long. Not that she is afraid of the nails or of the bullet. Not that she is concerned about dying for the cause.

Cunt.
It's a beautiful thing to be called by your enemies. She likes her nickname so much she uses it herself. Had a nameplate printed up for her desk:
THE CUNT
. Is always ready to drop it into her speeches at fund-raising events and political rallies. The word is like a firearm, appropriately enough, in that if you try to use it without knowing how, if you use it coming from a place of arrogance and hubris, you will probably get yourself killed. You have to know how to use
cunt.
She knows how to use it. How to use it is this: first of all you have to be a woman or you have to be British, preferably both. See-You-Next-Tuesday is the former and her father is the latter, therefore she
meets the criteria. So she can say
cunt
and say
cunt
and say
cunt
so as to remind folks what it is her enemies call her, what kind of people her enemies in fact are, the small minority of white men who are responsible for America still being an insane culture of constant unchecked gun violence even after all these massacres—
Still Crazy after All These Massacres
, as her theme song says—and if that's how they see her, an unmarried, educated, independent, self-supporting, professional, successful woman and accidental activist enlisted to the Cause when it came kicking down her door and stole her baby girl, Michelle, then how do they see
you
women?
These are what we talk about when we talk about Real America: these people. These are the people whose quote-unquote values and principles we accommodate over the lives of our children, with regard to gun violence, these are the people we still allow to stand in the way of progress, of moving America forward into a time of gun-free sanity when our children can go to school and swing on the monkey bars and go to church and shop at the mall without the risk of bullets fired from an assault weapon ripping their little bodies apart.

She says
cunt
up and down the East Coast, back and forth throughout the Midwest, through the South, to the blackest-tie-est bluest-blood-est billionaire fund-raiser crowds in Washington, to the humblest churches of the Adirondacks, and her message
resonates,
town by town, state by state, year by year, vote by vote, because she is great at what she does and because her enemies prefer to be the kind of bullying man-children to not only call successful, effective women cunts but to also carry semiautomatic rifles into fast-food restaurants during lunchtime, and you can feel when someone is right and
the country feels that about her.
And in every town, night after night, as she is leaving the stage, they are pulling handfuls of cash to stuff into her coffers, they are going home and voting in their local and national elections how she demands, booting out this NRA puppet in favor of this gun-sense hero. Her work is visibly altering the landscape of Congress and state legislatures and the culture.

Anti-American, freedom-hating, gun-grabbing CUNT. Yeah, baby, say it—say my name. If they want to clear rooms, including the one that matters most and is hardest to find—the room of popular mainstream public opinion—she is not going to stop them. Because
where else will the crowds go but to her? And they are always welcome.
I'll receive you with open arms
, she says.
One arm might not open very wide
—she laughs—
but it's open.

Her arm. As what will happen in America to a
strident
woman of color, a shrill, emasculating harridan, a nagging, shrieking harpy threatening to pry from big, strong white men the gruesome things they feel entitled to only because no one has had the guts to try to take them away before, they have fired at her on four occasions. Four shootings, twenty-seven shots in total, hitting her just once—in Tucson, in the shoulder. She was in town to appear with Gabby Giffords in victory outside the local franchise of the national sporting goods chain she and Gabby had convinced under threat of boycott to stop selling ammunition. The hollow-point .380 fired from a white male's semiautomatic pistol as See-You-Next-Tuesday shook hands in the parking lot shattered the bones of her shoulder and shredded the cartilage, giving her a permanent John McCain-like limited mobility to her arm that works in her favor the same way it did for him—by reminding everyone that she is heroic and a leader and has lost and survived more than they and therefore should be listened to, should be followed. Yet still she travels with no security detail. Never has. Just her aides—women all—and attorneys, with a little gaggle of disciples trotting after to keep up. She does not even wear a Kevlar vest. They shoot at her because she is the man they swore would never come, a brilliant, cutthroat, Machiavellian anti-gun political force of nature capable of using fear to motivate her followers into hysterical action the same way the NRA's Wayne LaPierre, a man she studies and idolizes, does to motivate his.

For forty years the NRA has kicked anti-gun ass all over Washington and maintained the status quo of senseless gun violence. How? Money. Yes NRA members show up at rallies at the drop of a hat when asked, yes they vote as instructed in large enough numbers to influence party platforms, but most important they send in cashola when LaPierre shrieks for it. In America, your vote is not your vote—your money is your vote. And NRA members pay up. Because they care more than the other side does.

Or did, until the turning point: the aftermath of the massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary was the first wave of a cultural change, but the tsunami was the elementary school massacre in Ohio that killed sixty-three children, including her Michelle, as the nation watched—the killer, as you will never forget, live-streaming the carnage from his wearable camera. Screaming, dying children being executed in their pink sweatpants and Velcro shoes—this is what we had become, this was our country. The footage of that was the Pearl Harbor moment. There was no more hiding from it—this is what guns meant. They were no longer a symbol of liberty and self-sufficiency and had not been for a long, long time—this is what our beloved guns do to human beings, in real life. This is what they do to the bodies of children, in real life. You could not pretend that firearms, in real life—especially our new, modern, War on Terror-inspired weapons, once removed from movies and video games—represented anything but dismemberment, ripped-off skull chunks, little boy and girl brains, jawbones left dangling, gaping holes in eye sockets of six-year-olds. Through it all, LaPierre stayed on point.
This is the fault,
he said,
of laws preventing teachers from carrying firearms in the classroom. We are funding a program to give all teachers training in use of firearms. The only thing that stops a bad guy with a gun,
he said,
is a good guy with a gun.

Before the massacre, See-You-Next-Tuesday had been a constitutional law professor at Ohio State and an appeals court judge. She had never been active in politics, taking pride in her neutrality on the bench. But when she watched LaPierre's press conference (she watched it online, did not see it live as she was busy at the time at the cemetery burying Michelle), she realized that nobody else was going to do anything about gun violence in this country and reluctantly entered the arena. She was not yet another mourning mother toting her dead kid's picture around the halls of the state house and Congress, begging for someone to do something. She was not interested in cooperating with the etiquette of the system or
reaching across the aisle.
These had resulted in nothing after Newtown, she remembered, but more heartbreak and insult and humiliating defeat—no meaningful change. She was not there
to work with the other side, or to compromise, or to bow down to the Second Amendment. She was there for war. Revenge. To destroy LaPierre, castrate the NRA, and win the war. Quickly she emerged as a reluctant spokesperson for a new kind of anti-gun movement. She said,
The NRA is right—we do have too many gun laws that do not work, so let's not make any more of those. No, let's cut the crap, pry their guns from their cold dead hands once and for all, and say enough is enough with the deadly Second Amendment that is getting our children slaughtered on a mass scale!
("Cut the crap" became her "You betcha"—a rallying cry for one side, something to mock and sneer at for the other.)
It took a war to free their slaves,
she began saying at rallies and speeches,
and it will take a war to get their guns. Are you ready for it? Because I am! But I can't do it alone.

And America finally was ready for it—or beginning to be.

How she saw we could take their guns: money. Turn bullets into money. Tax the ammo. Tax the shit out of it. And when you're done taxing the shit out of it? Tax it again! Let them have as many guns as they want—and we have no choice at this point, do we, with more than 300 million guns out there—but if they want anything for their guns to fire, they have to pay for the damage they cause everybody else. It's social responsibility—if they're going to fuck us, at least buy us dinner, and if they're going to shoot us, at least foot the hospital bill. She frames it thus:
Listen, what do we need more: bullets and death and incompetent fat white guys armed to the teeth with military weapons they do not know how to use right—or do we want money for schools and health care and jobs and all the other things our states never have money for? Which do we need more?
That was effective, that bullets vs. schools campaign, which took off from those old Mac vs. PC ads. The donations poured in; she used them to establish her organization, Repeal the Second Amendment. The RSA.

The Brady Campaign was too pussyfooted, broken down and depressed, so traumatized after the NRA abusing it for thirty years that it considered the most minor, loophole-fucked, symbolic legislation to be a historic victory, signaling change that never came. Everytown for Gun Safety, in her view, was NYC billionaire Michael Bloomberg's smug, unintentionally hilarious self-humiliation vehicle
that resulted in nothing because it came from the same place as his Mayors Against Illegal Guns, which was a place of total, astounding ignorance about the things it sought to control, which voters sensed and therefore tuned out off the bat. Because America
wants
guns. That is what the others have missed. They do not need guns explained to them. They know about them and they know they are dangerous and they want them, they feel safe with them, even if they do get more of them killed than any war, any terror group. See-You-Next-Tuesday, however, being smarter than Bloomberg and the others, takes firearms very seriously, gives them the utmost respect. She has become an expert on them, can talk circles around the most technical gun nut you could find. Outshoot him too.

The first big victory came when pro-RSA single-issue voter turnout was credited with dumping three members of the Ohio state legislature based on their pro-NRA voting records. The second big victory came when they got a version of the ammo tax on the ballot and came within a percentage point of passing it. Wayne LaPierre shat himself, See-You-Next-Tuesday heard. Rush Limbaugh exploded all over his studio like a microwaved metal bowl of grease and pills. That's about the time they started calling her what they call her. When asked about the C-word on
Meet the Press
, she slaughtered it:
Finally
, she said,
the NRA's base is being honest about how they see women.
And that's about the time they took their first shot at her, outside Houston. Missed. As a result money flowed in to the RSA, membership jumped by 11 percent. So they took another shot at her, in Florida, as she was leaving a meeting with a shooting victim. More money, more members.