Starfish Sisters (6 page)

'Don't worry,' Micki said to me as we walked down to
the board hut. 'I get fully stressed about the two good
wave scores in twenty minutes.'

'At least you admitted it.' As Jake ripped me to tiny
pieces, Micki was the only one who backed me up. Kia
didn't even open her mouth. 'The others were acting so
casual, like what about Megan? "That's just the nature
of competition,"' I mimicked. 'They probably have
slower clocks in Tasmania, that's what I wanted to say.'

'You were good about it,' Micki said. 'I probably
would've been in tears.'

'I wouldn't have given any of them that satisfaction,'
I replied. For the first few minutes it'd been humiliating.
After that I tuned out and went numb. 'Jake was
just calling it like it was. I should have waited for the
better sets. I panicked.'

For a moment I almost thought I could tell her I
didn't want to be here.

'You'll have a better day today.' Micki smiled
sweetly. 'Everyone has off days. Anyway, you got
graded in the top group so they mustn't have thought
you were that bad.'

I groaned. 'Oh no. Look.'

Jake was walking towards me with the video
camera. The big smile on his face told me this was
probably his way of making peace.

'I thought this was meant to be a free-surfing
session?' I said.

'It is,' Jake smiled. 'Pretend I'm not even here.'

'Yeah, right,' I grunted.

Jake laughed but I wasn't joking.

The three things I'd put on my list last night, the
three goals I made for myself, were:

1. Lose weight.

2. Get my fire back.

3. If I can't get number 2, then accept it and admit it –
out loud to everyone. But mostly myself.

Making that list had made me sad last night. Today, I
didn't feel sad. The fact I'd finally made a decision –
that if it didn't work for me then I was quitting – gave
me some peace. Otherwise, like Micki just said, I
would've been blubbering in that video session. Yet all
it did was make me think that I was right: pressure and
me didn't go together.

So everyone would think how selfish I was for
taking a place in this camp when I didn't want to surf
competitively anymore, but they'd get over it. I mean,
when Thorpie announced he was giving up competitive
swimming the world didn't stop. Not that I'm
saying I'm anything like Thorpie. But life does go on
and that's what I had to remember.

'What time do you reckon it is?' Micki asked.

'Must be about eleven,' I said.

'I've got to be up in the kitchen at twelve-fifteen for
lunch duty with Ace.'

'Sucked in,' I teased. 'I mean about doing it with Ace.'

'I know,' Micki said. 'I'm already nervous. What do I
have to talk to her about?'

'Surfing?' I suggested.

I watched Micki wax her board. It looked like it'd
had a few repairs done to it. Micki caught me looking.
'I'm saving up for a new one,' she laughed, although it
sounded fake and I noticed her face go bright red.

I tried to think of something to say that wouldn't
make me look like such a princess with my brand-new
custom-made board that I'd been such a brat about.

'Is Kia out there?' Micki said, squinting in the sun.

'I think she went back to the bungalow for a lie down.'

'Does she have her period?' Micki was straight to the
point. 'Is that why she's wearing a wetsuit? I always
wonder what you do when you have them.'

'Actually,' I whispered, 'a word of advice, don't bring
up periods around Kia. She hasn't got them yet. She's a
bit hung up about it too, 'cause she's the only one out
of our friends who hasn't had them.'

I felt a bit disloyal telling Micki that but it wasn't
exactly a big secret and Micki didn't need Kia hating
her any more.

'I hope I get mine late. Like eighteen would be
good,' Micki said. 'I really don't like the idea of them.'

'They're fine,' I told her. 'You get used to them.'

Micki and I walked down to the water's edge. It
was heavenly having this bit of beach to ourselves.
It was impossible to feel like you were being hassled on
the waves and it was hard not to feel special.

We cupped the salty water over our hair and face.
'Can you imagine not living near a beach?'

'My life would be nothing without surfing,' Micki
answered.

'Yeah?'

'I don't reckon I could live without it.'

Micki began to paddle out. I stood back watching
her for a while. There was something sad about her yet
I couldn't figure out what it was.

'Georgie!' I turned around to see Jake gesturing to
the camera he was holding. 'Let's see what you're
really made of.'

I slid onto my stomach and obediently paddled out
while inside my head I was calling him all sorts of names.

But the surf was good. It was exactly how I liked it.
Offshore and walling up nicely. So what if it was a lefthander
when it was like this? Jake was standing on the
sand, video ready in hand.
Just ignore him
, I told myself.
Just be here for yourself. No pressure. No pressure.

Each set seemed to be shaping up more than the set
before. Micki was handling the size pretty well and for a
small girl she was powerful at paddling back out. Megan
was pulling in backside and getting plenty of rail.

Remember, you've made a decision
, I told myself.
Just
have fun. No pressure
.

'How good is this?' I laughed, paddling up to Megan
and Micki, who were sitting out the back on their
boards. 'Did you see that one I just got?'

'You tore that one apart,' Megan bellowed.

'What's the time?' Micki groaned.

'About ten past twelve,' Megan shouted back,
starting to paddle for a four-foot little beastie that was
looming up behind her.

'I better go in too,' Micki said.

'Bummer for you.'

'Yeah,' Micki replied. 'Think of me.'

'Stay another fifteen minutes,' I told her. 'Ace is
probably up there already. She was sunbaking by the
pool.'

'How can she be missing out on this?' Micki said.

'If she asks, tell her the waves were crap,' I
suggested. 'That way we might keep her out of the surf
for a bit longer.'

Micki began paddling and was off. 'See you at
lunch!' she called.

I sat on my board and watched a set approaching.
As each wave swelled and rose it reminded me of an
enormous tummy swallowing gigantic pieces of food.
I loved the ocean. I loved how every day it was different.
And in a strange way I loved the fact you couldn't
control it. That made it seem like real magic.

When I finally got out, Jake was over at the showers
wrapping a bandage around Megan's ankle. And Micki
wasn't at lunch duty – she was sitting there looking a
seedy shade of green.

'Georgie,' Jake said, 'I hope you've got a strong
stomach.'

'Huh?' I asked. 'What's happened?'

'It looks worse than it is,' Megan said. 'My fin just
scraped my ankle.'

'It's a bit more than a scrape,' Jake corrected. 'These
plastic strips should hold the skin together. I hope.'

'Yuck.' I spied a blood-sodden pad peeking out of a
plastic bag. 'It looks like it bled pretty –'

Jake raised his hand. 'Don't!'

'Huh?'

'Don't mention the "B" word.' He pointed to Micki.
'Our young friend here can't stand the sight of it. We
nearly just lost her.'

Micki made a half-groan, half-laugh.

'You okay, Micki?'

'I can't handle seeing blood.' Micki had her back to
Megan. 'I'll be okay in a minute.'

'You said that five minutes ago,' Megan joked.

'No, I will.'

'Do you want me to do your lunch duty?' I asked
Micki.

'Lunch! I forgot!'

'Are you on lunch duty?' Jake pulled a face. 'Oops.
Have you met our chef, Brian, yet?'

'I'll do it for you,' I offered.

'Who are you rostered on with?' Jake asked.

'She's rostered on with Ace,' I answered.

'Double oops.' Jake gave me a wink.

Micki flinched like she was in pain.

'I can just see Ace elbow-deep in salad,' Jake
laughed. 'You might be just the girl to save Brian,
Georgie.'

'Yeah, and the salad,' I added, 'from soaking in that
coconut oil she was slapping all over herself.'

Jake made a cat squeal.

'I'm just jealous,' I said. 'I wish I could sunbake and
go brown, instead of turning into a blob that resembles
a tomato.'

Jake was really laughing now. He was so nice. Right
there and then I forgave him for the grilling he'd given
me in the video session.

'Oh, Georgie,' he sighed, 'I'd love to see you as a
tomato.'

'It's not funny,' I said, although I couldn't stop
giggling and I knew my skin was now probably looking
tomatoesque. 'Well, I'm off to help Miss Perfect in the
kitchen.'

'Thanks,' Micki moaned. She was doubled over in a
little ball.

'Hey, Tomato!' Jake called. 'Good surfing too, buddy.
You found your form.'

I walked up to the kitchen feeling the best I had
in days.

'Do you know there are four ways to drown?' I whispered
to Georgie.

'Four ways to drown?' Georgie looked up from the
blue booklet that I was terrified to even open 'cause
there was so much stuff in there. 'You're being cheerful
tonight.'

'I was reading an article about it,' I said, 'when you
guys were having your free-surf session.'

'Kia?' Georgie rolled over onto her side and looked
at me in a way that made me almost want to trust her.
'Are you okay?'

'Yeah.' But I couldn't trust her. It wasn't worth the risk.

'Are you sure?'

'Uh ha.' I yawned, faking like I wanted to go to sleep
now.

Ace and I had managed to avoid each other all day –
or maybe it was more that I tried to avoid Ace. I was
sure I'd stuffed up all the groundwork I'd made. Ace
and I had been getting on good. She liked me. I was
sure of it.

Tomorrow I'd start afresh. I'd be so nice and fun that
Ace would forget about today's little 'slump' in my
personality.

'Kia, you're not talking to me,' Georgie pushed. She
always tried but I was an expert in cutting her off and
changing the subject

'I think I was coming down with something this
morning,' I lied. 'I reckon I sat on the toilet for about an
hour. Honestly, I sounded like a motorbike starting up.'
Now Georgie was laughing, which was where I wanted
her.

'Shhh, you'll wake Micki,' I whispered.

'Kia, you must admit you do get sick a lot. You
should go and have a check-up.'

The last thing I needed was my GP, Dr Yuan, doing
a medical. I could just imagine him. 'Keeaghh' – that's
how he said my name – 'what are these marks on your
thighs?'

'So what are the four ways you can drown, Miss
Cheery?' Georgie asked.

'There's a dry drowning. That's where you don't get
any water in your lungs,' I explained. 'Then there's a
seawater drowning and a freshwater drowning, which
somehow do the opposite to each other.'

Ace came out of the bathroom.

'So how's the boyfriend?' Georgie asked.

'Okay,' Ace sighed.

'You don't sound happy.' That was about the first
thing I'd said to her since this morning. Under the
sheets I crossed my fingers, waiting for her reaction.

'Tim just told me he's going to Brazil after Indo.' Ace
perched on the bottom of our beds. Maybe everything
was okay between us? Maybe it'd just been in my head
that she thought I was a loser?

'That means it'll be ages and ages till I see him,' Ace
continued.

'Is it hard him going away all the time?' Georgie
asked.

'Yeah. But that's part of the job.'

My turn to ask a question now. 'How long have you
been together?'

'Almost nine months,' Ace replied.

'Have you, you know . . .' Georgie was
not
about to
ask what I think she was, was she? She had no idea
how to handle a friendship with someone like Ace!
'Have you . . . done it?'

Oh my God!

'Nooo!' Ace gasped and almost went purple.
Slapping Georgie across the face was almost called for.
'Tim respects me, Georgie. I'm still only sixteen. I mean,
that might be okay for some girls but I want to wait till
I'm ready. Tim says he'll wait as long as it takes.'

'So how do you know when you're ready?'

'Georgie!' I gave her the evil eye.

'Well, I'm just asking,' Georgie replied. 'I don't know
about this stuff. I've never had a boyfriend.'

'Yes, but –' I started.

'I don't mind,' Ace shrugged. She was being far
nicer to Georgie than she deserved. 'I've got nothing to
be embarrassed of.'

'See.' Georgie evil-eyed me back.

I bet that's not what Ace was really thinking. It was
probably
This girl is such an interfering busybody
. At least
I wasn't the one who asked the questions. I felt my
breath let go.

'Georgie, have you at least hooked up with a guy?'
Ace asked.

Now I bet Georgie wished she hadn't opened her
big mouth because Georgie's record with the opposite
sex was pathetic. Which meant Ace might think I was a
loser for having loser friends!

'I've hooked up once.' Georgie was squirming. 'But
it was just a pash'n'dash. When the lights went on and
he saw the size of my thighs, he was off!'

'Stop it!' Ace laughed. 'What about you, Kia? Have
you got a boyfriend?'

'I did last year,' I said quickly. 'His name was Joel.'

Even when I was going out with him, Georgie had
told me he was butt ugly and looked like a camel. Not
that I could figure that out, although he did have big lips.

'I'll have to try and set you up with someone,
Georgie,' Ace suggested.

'At an all-girl camp?' Georgie replied. 'I don't think
you'll have much luck.'

'Well, there's Jake,' Ace started.

'And Brian,' Georgie added, bursting into throat-choking
snorts.

'Hmmm, Brian.' Ace smirked before vomiting up the
biggest laugh. 'I forgot about him.'

'Who's Brian again? Tell me.'

Suddenly I was feeling left out of Georgie and Ace's
private joke. They were holding on to their stomachs
and killing themselves, occasionally just managing to
utter 'Brian' before they burst into hysterics again.

'Shush you two, you'll wake up Micki,' I tried, but
that didn't work. They kept on laughing.

'Guys? Guys?' I said a bit louder. 'Who's Brian?'

'The cook,' Georgie reminded me through tears. 'Ace
and I did lunch with him today.'

'And that's all we'll be doing with him,' Ace spluttered.

'I thought you did lunch with Micki,' I said to Ace.

If I'd known Ace was doing meal prep with Georgie
I might've come out of the bungalow earlier. That's
why Ace and Georgie were suddenly so cosy.

'I ended up having to do lunch prep. Long story,'
Georgie dismissed me.

I attempted to squeeze out a smile. 'Tell me?'

'Okay.' Georgie shot me a glare. 'Settle down.'

Sometimes she could read me better than I knew.

'Megan cut her foot pretty bad. Micki went to help
and when she saw the blood she nearly passed out.
Seriously, she was green. I'm not exaggerating. She
cannot handle the sight of blood. Like, not at all.'

'Hey, I'm pretty sure . . .' A memory was beginning
to stir in the very back of my mind. Something to do
with Micki's mum. 'I'm pretty sure I remember that
Micki's mum fell off a balcony. It was something like
that. I know Micki was there when it happened.'

Georgie and Ace gasped. Ace wiggled up the bed
and leant in close to me. 'I was really young when it
happened. So I don't remember the details that clearly.
Except that it was really bad and Dad had to go up
there straightaway.'

'I thought you said your dad didn't really know
Micki's dad?'

Oops. I'd forgotten that.

To make it worse, Georgie got in first. 'Oh, Reg and
Micki's dad are best friends, Ace. That's how come Kia
and Micki know each other.'

'We don't know each other,' I snapped. 'I met her for
the first time two days ago.'

'Yeah, whatever,' Ace said. Luckily for me, she was
more interested in the other story. 'So what happened
when Micki found her?'

'Let's see.' There were little pieces that I knew. I just
wasn't sure how they fitted together. Anyway, a few
wrong facts didn't matter. It wasn't like Micki was ever
going to become our nearest and dearest and tell us the
real version. Besides, she was asleep, she'd never know. 'I
think they had friends to stay but everyone was asleep.'

Ace and Georgie were hanging on to every word
and I wanted to keep it that way. Not go back to them
being all buddy-buddy and leaving me out.

'Micki was only three, but she was the one who
heard the scream and then the thud of her mum's body
landing on the concrete.'

'That's so awful.' Ace grabbed onto my elbow.

'She didn't die instantly. I think she died in hospital
a few days later.'

'Poor Micki,' Georgie muttered. 'No wonder she
can't stand the sight of blood.'

Suddenly I had a memory of my mum on the phone
to my aunty in Canada. She was sitting on the floor of
the kitchen crying. When she spoke, her words came
out gurgly. I still remember thinking it sounded like she
was drowning. 'Poor baby. They can't get the blood off
the driveway,' Mum cried. 'Reg has been scrubbing and
scrubbing but it won't come off.'

I didn't tell them that bit. Instead, I said, 'Micki and
her dad moved from that place straightaway.'

'I don't blame them.' Ace's eyes were glassy with
tears. 'And I thought I had a hard life 'cause my parents
got divorced when I was ten.'

'Hey, you know what I was thinking today?' Georgie
piped up. 'We should try and raise some money so we
can buy Micki a new board. She's only got one.'

'Hey, yeah.' Ace sat up straight. 'And it's pretty
dinged up too.'

'As if we can do that,' I said, maybe a bit too fast. But
I hadn't told them the story so they could form the
Micki Sympathy Society, and that's what it looked like
they were doing.

'Well, I was thinking we could do something with
our bikinis.' Georgie was beginning to organise. Next
she'd be writing lists. 'Maybe selling them or, or –'

'How about a fashion parade?' Ace suggested. 'I
model all the time.'

'Yeah!' Georgie looked stoked. 'What do you reckon,
Kia? You'd be into that, wouldn't you? It'd be a way to
get your designs out there and that's what you want.
It's a win-win.'

It was so not a win-win!

'It'd take a while to organise a fashion parade.' I
cautiously threw the words out. 'And Ace, aren't you
only allowed to wear Ocean Pearl? Wouldn't that be
like breaking the contract?'

'As if they'd find out,' Georgie snapped.

'Anyway, that's classified as charity and I'm allowed
to do that,' Ace said. 'Maybe we should ask Carla about
it, 'cause we want to get it right. You know, make it look
professional. I reckon the last week of camp would be
the best time.'

'What about the team trials?' My neck felt tight.

'It's probably good to have something else to focus
on.' Georgie kept nodding. 'Lighten up the pressure
a bit.'

'That's true,' Ace agreed. 'And if we had it in the last
week it'd give us plenty of time to plan and rehearse.'

'Pick the right music,' added Georgie.

Back and forth, back and forth their suggestions
flew while my fingernails pinched at the ridges on my
thighs. Suddenly, Georgie pointed towards Micki's
bed. 'Oh no! You don't think she's been listening, do
you?'

'She's crashed for sure,' Ace whispered back,
turning off the lamp. 'It was a really good idea of yours,
Kia, giving Micki that space away from us chatterboxes
so she can get to sleep. Little one,' Ace crooned. 'No
wonder she doesn't talk much.'

We said goodnight. Ace crawled into her bed and
Georgie turned over and cuddled up to her pillow. Me?
I lay there hating myself as my fingertips ran across the
inside of my thighs.

I drifted in and out of strange thoughts that merged
into a strange dream of Micki standing over my bed,
watching me.