Starblood (The Starblood Trilogy) (3 page)

The bus stop is empty. She reminds herself to avoid looking at the hateful graffiti which covers this side of the wall.
Goths go to hell
.
Fuck off Freaks.
Kill a Goth – go to heaven. Moshers are gay
, and far more of the same theme. Relief that there isn’t a queue of strangers relaxes her body and she leans against the shelter wall.

‘Are you okay?’ Steve asks her.

It is the first time for a long time she has heard him ask about her. That he should care how she feels at a time like this softens her resolve still further. Head swimming, she gazes at his face. She sees her own reflection in his intelligent grey eyes. His is a face worth painting. Wondering why she never even sketched his portrait, she imagines his eyes as pools of rainwater suspended, as if by magic, in a face chiselled by Alexander Munro. Only his affectation of growing a tiny beard at the centre of his chin mars the image. She smiles looking at the sprouting dozen pale brown hairs. He tried to dye them black once, she remembers, what a mess he made.

‘I’m fine. A bit nervous I guess. What’s Paul like?’

‘Brilliant.’ Steve’s eyes shine. ‘He’s given me help and advice so many times. I’m sure he’ll know what to do, or at least have the books to look it up in.’

‘I hope you’re right.’ Falling back into silence, she concentrates on moving a piece of gravel around the pavement with her pointed toe.

Paul lives in a large house on the edge of the city. As they arrive at its gates, Steve presses a button on the telecom whispering into the microphone. The gates swing open and reveal a vista worthy of any Hammer Horror film. The mock-Tudor building has a sweeping driveway, complete with an avenue of skeletal trees.

‘Are you sure?’ she asks him.

‘Of course,’ he assures her.

‘Satori, welcome.’ The man in the doorway wears a blood red shirt and tight black trousers. His white hair is tied back into a ponytail. Sarah has no idea whether he is old or has lightened his hair. He has one of those ageless faces. He stares at her, waiting for an introduction. Steve’s arm sweeps towards her. He clasps her left hand and smiles.

‘Paul, this is Star,’ he says.

‘Ah,
the
Star,’ the man says, looking her up and down.

Is he sneerin
g?

He moves to the side with a theatrical bow. ‘Enchanted. Please come in, come in.’

Sarah scowls as they are hurried through the wide hallway, with its high ceilings and dominant staircase, into a room on the right. The dancing flames of an open fire light the library with an ever changing, living glow. Sarah’s skin prickles, and she stands in the doorway shifting her weight from one foot to the other. In contrast to her own irritation, the men seem comfortable here, to the point at which it seems she is already forgotten. She wanders over to the nearest bookcase, scratching her itchy left palm as she walks.

The wall is filled with hundreds of hard-backed volumes. The first bookcase is dedicated to fiction. The works of Bram Stoker, Mary Shelley, Oscar Wilde and Huysmans stand comfortably shoulder to shoulder with Clive Barker, Graham Masterton and Steven King. Warming to the man a little she moves to the next bookcase. Paul and Steve are talking. Paul sounds excited.

‘Lilith,’ Paul says in hushed tones. ‘ … really … ?’

‘She … was,’ Steve answers, his confidence growing beneath Paul’s admiration. ‘But I didn’t invoke her. She told me she saw the door and came of her own accord. I couldn’t control her, and now she’s gone. Out there somewhere.’

‘And … find it?’

Sarah moves closer, Paul whispers too quietly for her to hear his side of the conversation. They don’t look up. They have become the centre of each other’s universe for the moment.

‘And stop her,’ Steve adds.

Paul pauses and rubs his chin with elegant fingers. ‘I have a few books which might help you.’ He looks across at Sarah and smiles. She shivers.

‘Won’t you come too?’ Steve asks. ‘We’ll be stronger together.’

‘It is tempting. My god. Lilith, here?’ he sighs as he reaches up for a book. ‘But no, I’m older than you. I’m a teacher not a soldier. My heart isn’t as strong as it used to be. Do you have any idea where it’s gone?’

‘Not yet,’ Steve says, taking the offered book from Paul’s hand.

Paul moves to another bookcase. ‘Well that shouldn’t be too difficult. We can dowse for it when we’re ready. I think I may have a fair idea as to where Lilith has been.’

‘What? How?’

Paul smiles, obviously at ease in the role of revered teacher. ‘You haven’t seen the news today, I presume?’

Sarah can feel tension building inside. She has to admire his showmanship. Steve shakes his head.

‘A body was found mutilated, near the old tobacco factories this morning. The police are clueless. I think it was probably your demon.’

Sarah’s heart beats faster.
A murder? What the fuck? Is this what I signed up for
? It feels too real, no longer the stuff of Gothic fairytales. Something shifts inside her. She feels it stretching. ‘No,’ she whispers and forces it back down. Her heart pounds against her ribs. Closing her eyes she tries to concentrate on calming her body. The internal battle makes her limbs shake. Fear and excitement tear at her stomach with vicious claws. She has to sit down. ‘This is nuts,’ she whispers.

‘What did the police say?’ Steve asks.

‘Well of course they haven’t mentioned demons, my dear boy. But it just felt supernatural, both the viciousness of the attack and its sexuality. I doubt a man would do that to another man, and a woman … couldn’t.’

‘What did she do?’ Sarah asks, uncertain as to whether she wants to hear the reply but intrigued in spite of herself.

‘It, my darling child, what did
it
do?’

Sarah grinds her teeth and looks away. The colour rises in her cheeks. She is tired of semantics, and of men trying to make her feel stupid.

‘I need to go,’ she says. Her body slows, her adventure aborted before it even starts.

Steve looks from her to Paul then back to her. Finally he stands up.

‘Which other books should I take?’ he asks.

‘Huh, oh yes, the books. Well, Satori, there are so many to choose from. It might be better if you stay here for a few days. We can research together and, of course, I have the practice room. Let me help you prepare. You need to be ready before you face Lilith. If you aren’t prepared who knows what it will do to you.’

‘But … Star what do you think? Can you stay?’ Steve asks.

Sarah feels the pendulum of power swing back towards her. Her face twitches as she fights a smile.

‘Oh, um yes, of course Star. I’d be delighted,’ Paul adds with a nod of his head. From her low vantage point she can see his mouth twist for a moment then relax.

‘I’ve got a really busy week, Steve,’ Sarah replies, noticing with some pleasure the way he flinches as she says his name. ‘If you do decide to stay I’ll let your mum know where you are.’ She glares at Paul as she says this, as if in warning. ‘What’s your number Paul, so I can phone if I need to speak to Steve?’
Yes
, she thinks,
I am strong enough to walk away.

‘I have no business with phones. I never use one I’m afraid,’ Paul answers, smiling.

Sarah stands up slowly. Turning away from Paul, she faces Steve. ‘Call me if you need me. Do you have your mobile with you?’ Steve nods. He looks lost and insecure. She reminds herself that he doesn’t need her protection. ‘I’ll call you if I need to,’ she says, eager to be gone. ‘Will you be at the club next Saturday? We can talk there.’

‘Sure, the club, yeah … probably. I’ll call you soon. Will you be okay getting back?’

Sarah leaves the question hanging. Without touching either man or even waving goodbye, she leaves. No one walks her to the door. Only their voices, low and excited, follow her through the hallway.

The first call Sarah makes when she leaves is to Steve’s house. No one answers so she leaves a message for Marian to phone her back. The second call is to Donna, her best friend and flat mate, to tell her she is on her way home. Even though Sarah is travelling towards the flat they do not rush their conversation.

‘I saw Steve about the … vision,’ Sarah says.

‘Oh, Sarah,’ Donna sighs.

‘Oh, Sarah, what?’

‘You know what, you crazy Goth.’

Sarah pauses. She fights the desire to tell her friend about the demon. Donna wouldn’t understand. No one would.
I don’t.

‘I still love him.’ Sarah bites her lip angrily.
How could I have said that?

‘I know. Just be careful. He’s no good for you.’

‘He’s gone to stay with an old man called Paul,’ Sarah says. ‘He has a huge house, out by Snuff Mills. Do you know him?’

‘No. What’s he like?’

‘He’s really into magick,’ Sarah says thinking back to all the books and his excitement about the demon. ‘And I’m pretty sure he’s gay.’

‘Figures. Hey, Raven might know him then,’ Donna says. ‘Shall I ask her?’

‘No. Please, don’t tell her anything.’ Sarah shakes her head.

‘What is it, sweetheart? What’s the matter?’

‘Don’t you feel it too?’

‘Feel what?’ Donna asks. Her voice is low, conspiratorial.

‘The way she wants to control everything and everyone.’

‘You know me, Sarah. I’m free as a bird. She couldn’t control me even if she tried.’

‘She does try.’

‘I’ve never noticed,’ Donna answers, yawning. ‘I’m making dinner tonight. Bolognese?’

‘Quorn?’

‘Of course,’ answers Donna.

Sarah can hear her smiling. ‘Thank you, Donna,’ Sarah says.

‘You’re welcome,’ Donna says. Her voice is tender. ‘You’re worth a thousand of them.’

After a pause the phone line goes dead. Donna has disconnected.

On the way home Sarah buys a local newspaper. There is no mention of a murder. She sends a text for a local news update but there’s nothing about it there either. Her sense of unease grows stronger, and she sends a text to Steve to let him know.

Chapter 5

Lilith stands on the dusty earth and looks up at the moon. Giant, white and cold, it hangs above her in the silent sky. She opens her mouth and sucks air into her newly formed chest. It chills her. Stretching her mouth and throat wider she screeches. Her first sound a soul-splitting wail of anguish and she screams until all the air has been forced from her body. Her eyes narrow in a look of accusation. How dare the moon bow before the sun and cast her away? She is the moon’s light. She is the fire and she will burn as brightly here on earth as she ever did in the night sky.

Dry soil stretches all around. Its hue, burnt umber beneath her feet, fades to grey beyond her glow. On the colourless horizon lonely trees stretch their own spindly limbs into the night sky.

Beside her a male form stirs. He stretches his arms and opens his amber eyes. A beautiful smile lights his face as he sees Lilith standing above him.

‘Samael, we are cast out,’ she says. ‘I will wander, I will learn all there is to know about this brave new world.’ She stares at him, trying to remember every detail. She knows he will not come with her. ‘What will you do?’

He shakes his head and his dark hair shines. She wants to hold him tight. A tiny part of her wants to stay in his arms forever.

‘I have no wish to wander. I shall build a fiery mansion to rival the discarded light of the moon. Will you stay with me?’ He stares up at her, and she feels her resolve soften in response.

‘Sometimes my husband, my brother, sometimes.’ Lilith sits beside Samael and traces his chest with her finger. ‘You are beautiful.’

‘You are too, my love, my light. Don’t leave me yet.’

Her eyes trail across Samael’s body, a body newly made, for both were energy alone moments before. Her virgin flesh warms between her legs. Instinct shows her what to do, how to rejoin with this other. They rejoin again and again, never tiring and Lilith’s screech of fury at the moon’s betrayal is soon echoed by a new screech of pleasure and power.

In each other’s arms Samael and Lilith find a form of completion. For a while the mansion is left unbuilt and the land undiscovered. Instead they discover together new forms of pleasure, new ways to burn brighter. They wallow in the moon’s shame as they light up the night with their desire. From their unions children are born: demons. Samael charges the demons to build him his mansion while he mates with his dark mistress.

Lilith watches as the walls of his fortress are built. ‘The walls are so high, dear brother, what do you need to keep out?
’ Or keep in? It is a prison not a home. Do you wish to imprison me within its walls?
‘Your mansion is so dark. How will our light penetrate its boundaries?’
My light would perish in that absolute gloom. I need the stars above my head and the moon in my eye.
‘I’ll find my own cave, Samael. I will not share yours.’
I shall never chain myself to your side.

Lilith leaves Samael seven years after their fall to earth. As she walks away from his strong arms, his shining hair, his eager cock and his black palace, her steps grow lighter. The moon lights her path to a great river and there she bathes herself until she has left even the scent of that other behind. Burying her nose in the crook of her elbow, she sniffs. The smell is of warm butter and juniper berries. It is her odour, not his. The evening is warm and she does not look for shelter. Beneath a willow tree she curls up and sleeps. A deep sleep filled with sunlight and ripening fruit.

Lilith wakes early. A vicious heat licks her toes. Opening her eyes she sees a golden haze beyond the leafy dome of the willow tree. She pulls her feet towards her and frowns.
What is that bright light?
Frightened, she sits clutching her knees. Beyond the curtain she can hear splashing and chirping, stamping and snorting, a plague of sounds that threaten to deafen her. Shaking her head to deny the cacophony, she holds her hands over her ears.
Is this what daytime sounds like: a thousand voices shouting to be heard? Is this what sunlight looks like: a blinding golden light bullying its way through the branches? What have I done, leaving the security of Samael’s mansion and coming here alone? I will die here. I will be eaten or burnt or I will go mad and drown myself in this river. No, the tree will become a pyre and the sun’s fire will consume me – the cast down light of the moon, for the sun can abide no adversaries and it will jealously guard its flame.