Standing Strong (16 page)

There were plenty of thoughtful expressions and heads nodding among the crowd. And when she finished and was walking to her chair amid rowdy applause, there seemed to be a lot of animated chatter going on between audience members.

After the debrief was complete, she joined them for a wonderful barbecue meal that was a far cry from the sausages in white sliced bread covered with onions and tomato sauce she'd been expecting. There were baskets of what looked like homemade sourdough rolls and more interesting and delicious-looking salads than she would ever have imagined. She tried to sample so many she ended up with her plate heaped embarrassingly high. But she'd eaten everything and then lined up for dessert – another fine-looking spread, as Ethel would say. Again she'd ended up with a rather full plate. And to make matters worse, when she turned away from the table, she almost upended it into the chest of the man who'd been standing right behind her. The
gorgeous
man who'd been standing right behind her. Jacqueline had to forcibly stop herself from gasping. He had the longest lashes she'd ever seen above the deepest, darkest brown eyes, all highlighted by his fine dusting of even darker stubble. She almost dropped her plate.

‘Oops, careful there. You don't want to lose that now you've done your gathering,' he said jovially. He flashed her a brilliant smile while helping her to right her plate and avert disaster and embarrassment.

‘Sorry. I do seem to have quite a lot, don't I?' she said, forcing her gaze down to her plate. Did she really think she could eat custard slice as well as pieces of cheesecake and pavlova
and
a brandy snap? If only Ethel was here to get her a doggy bag. ‘There's just too much choice,' she said, blushing, despite praying she wouldn't. Jacqueline's gaze moved back up and locked on his eyes. Golly, he was tall. And golly, the man looked good in a uniform, even if it was yellow. If she'd got this close to Damien she'd have said the same about him, she thought, reality hitting and disappointment surging.

‘You're allowed to come back for seconds, you know. Food is where the country folk really come into their own, I think.'

‘Oh, are you not from around here?'

‘Yes and no. Sorry, forgive me, I'm Paul. I'd shake your hand, but …'

‘Nice to meet you. I'm Jacqueline.'

‘Yes, I know. We all know,' he said, grinning cheekily.

‘Oh. Of course. Silly me,' she said, trying to laugh it off, but feeling the heat creeping up from between her breasts.

‘Sorry, that was cruel. I enjoyed your talk, by the way. You made a lot of sense. And I liked how down-to-earth you made it – not at all preachy.'

‘Great. Thanks.'

Now it was Paul's turn to look embarrassed.

‘It's okay, I know what you meant,' she said, putting her left hand out and touching his arm. As she did, she noticed people were hovering nearby with empty plates, clearly attempting to not look impatient.

‘I seem to be holding up the works, I'd better get out of the way,' she said. ‘It was lovely to meet you, Paul.'

‘Likewise. I'll see you around, I hope,' he said, flashing another dazzling smile before moving aside.

Jacqueline spent much of the evening feeling surprised at how she'd been sucked into the fold. She was sure the CFS crowd weren't just being polite and reserved around her – she was really being welcomed. She'd been welcome at every other event she'd been to, but this somehow felt different – and had seemed different even from before her talk – she just couldn't quite put her finger on how.

Later when Rob, Cecile and Jacqueline were preparing to leave, Paul appeared beside her.

‘It really was lovely to meet you, Jacqueline,' he said, holding out his hand.

‘Yes, likewise, Paul. Lovely,' she stammered, returning his handshake.

‘If you'd like to stay a little longer, I could give you a ride home,' he offered.

‘Oh. Thanks very much, but I'd better get an early night.' She wouldn't have minded talking with him more, but while she'd enjoyed being distracted and sociable for a few hours, she was suddenly feeling very weary. She was thankful Rob had an early start in the morning – something to do with lambs, he'd said – and was keen to head off early.

‘Thanks, Paul, but we've got it. She came with us so we'll see her home,' Cecile said.

‘Okay. Well, goodnight then,' he said.

As she alighted from Rob and Cecile's car, Jacqueline sighed to herself at seeing Damien's ute still at the kerb outside Ethel's. All evening she'd longed to go up to him and ask how he was and get all the latest news on the joey and everything that was going on with Esperance. She wouldn't have shared her latest news, but to be close to him might have provided some comfort. But whenever she'd thought she was getting closer to him she'd look up and he'd be on the other side of the big shed, talking to a different group. And as at the beginning of the evening, every time she thought she'd caught his gaze and smiled, he'd turn and be deep in conversation. It was probably for the best. They weren't together. And her life was messy enough.

After waving Cecile and Rob off, but before putting her key in the door to her cottage, Jacqueline toyed with popping across the road to see Ethel. Damien was sure to still be at the CFS barbie. She wondered if Ethel had told Damien about the latest development. Probably. She wasn't so keen on having her business discussed behind her back, but it saved her doing it. Anyway, she trusted Ethel and Damien to respect her.

She was still to tell her parents. She really wanted to tell them in person, but could see she'd have to resort to doing it over the phone – she couldn't put it off any longer. Apparently the car was taking a little longer than anticipated so she wasn't sure when they would be coming back.

Inside, Jacqueline found she suddenly wasn't tired or in the least bit ready to go to bed. She thought of Paul and felt a little chuffed that a handsome man had shown an interest in her. Had he been flirting or just being friendly? Whatever it was, it had been quite nice. But what really had Jacqueline on a bit of a high now was feeling such a part of things and her presentation going down so well. She'd made it clear that she was happy to be part of any debriefs after major incidents or whenever the brigade captains or group captain thought she could add value. And she didn't care about drumming up more business for the clinic. These people regularly put their lives on the line to save people's properties, for no pay and often when their own were at risk; the least she could do was contribute her expertise. She really was beginning to see how these small communities banded together to fight for a common cause. Of course she'd seen it in the news numerous times, but she harboured a healthy scepticism for the media and their ability to skew a story to suit their own needs. But to be a part of it, see it with her own eyes,
feel
it, was something else. She wasn't kidding herself, knew deep down she wasn't really a part of the community yet, was just being shown a courtesy, though a courtesy that perhaps ran deeper than before. Jacqueline was beginning to see how the country seeped into your soul when you weren't looking. She'd come out here for a year to escape Jacob, but now she couldn't see herself wanting to leave. And she hadn't even been born and bred out here. She just wished she could share her epiphany with Damien. Though he would probably just look at her quizzically and say, ‘Well, yeah, I know.' He did know. He had always known.

She'd tell her parents instead. But just as she picked up the phone and began dialling their number, it vibrated and rang. ‘Mum and Dad Home' appeared on the screen.

‘Hello?'

‘Hi, darling. How's my favourite daughter?' Philip Havelock said.

‘Dad, I'm your
only
daughter, only
child
, remember?' Jacqueline said, rolling her eyes at their little ritual.

‘So, how's things?'

‘You first. To what do I owe the pleasure of the call?' It was a valid question. Her parents tended to be creatures of habit and usually only rang to say hi and for a catch-up chat on a Sunday evening.

‘Well, I have your new car out in the driveway. I think the dealer got sick of me asking and finally put the hard word on someone. We're going to drive over with it on Saturday.'

‘Oh, that would be great. Thank you.'

‘We'll only be able to stay for a few days – a week at most; we're meant to be having the house painted, but the heat has upset things a bit. But we thought you should have your car, and we'd like to check up on Damien, and start looking at rental properties.'

‘Sounds good. It'll be great to have transport again.' It was on the tip of her tongue to tell her father about Damien, but she didn't. They'd be here in a few days – it could wait. And it would be much better to tell them in person. She doubted they could help, but their support would be a huge relief.

She turned her attention back to her father, who was telling her about their going a day without power at the surgery thanks to the wild weather that had swept though. That got her attention and she suddenly felt guilty – she should have rung to check they were okay. But she'd seen the map of damage on the news and it hadn't been anywhere near the house. She hadn't given any thought to the surgery being right in its path.

‘God, Dad, that's terrible. Thank goodness you only lost power and not the roof.'

‘It got a bit chaotic in the dark, but everyone scrabbled through okay. Anyway, enough about our dramas. How's everything with you?'

‘Well, I've just got home, actually. I've been part of a big CFS debrief. They lost a couple of houses this week. Did it make the news?'

‘I didn't see anything about fires over your way. Goodness. The Barossa fires still seem to be getting all the airplay.'

‘It was amazing, Dad …' As Jacqueline relayed her evening, she thought how good it felt to share it with someone who didn't take for granted what she'd experienced.

‘Wow, you really sound like you're becoming part of the place,' Philip said when she'd finished. ‘That's great. And they say you have to be born into these rural communities to be fully accepted. I guess being so close with Damien is a big help.'

‘Yeah.' Jacqueline almost let it go, but stopped herself. It wasn't fair to keep them in the dark. Especially now her father had brought Damien's name up. Hadn't she just been telling the audience at the CFS shed not to put things off? One of her mother's favourite phrases came to mind: ‘Do as I say, not what I do.' She took a fortifying breath.

‘Dad. There's something you should know …'

‘Oh, you poor thing,' Philip Havelock said after she'd spilled the beans on the whole tale: her and Damien; the letter from the board; Doctor Squire's support. Her face had begun flaming as if she was a teenager being subjected to a sex education class when she'd had to mention they'd not actually had sex, but she'd decided it was all or nothing. And it felt good to get it out in the open. ‘You should have called us. But I understand why you didn't.'

‘Thanks, Dad. I'm still working through it all myself.'

‘Well, it sounds like you've got a good ally in Doctor Squire. And you've got Ethel right across the road for support. I'm grateful for them. But, tell me, how's Damien in all this?'

‘I honestly don't know. Since he ended things, we haven't had any contact. I haven't told him about the latest development of the letter from the board, though I imagine Ethel will have.'

‘The sad thing is you could have been together all along and had his support if it was going to end up like this anyway,' Philip said.

‘Yes. It's frustrating.'

‘But it's done now. You just have to work through it. These things have a way of sorting themselves out. You'll see.'

‘Thanks, Dad.' She didn't tell him that she thought it right that she suffer as a result of her stupidity.

‘Now, are you okay with me phoning Damien to let him know we're coming over?'

‘Of course, Dad. You have a separate relationship with him because of Esperance. That's your business. And I wouldn't mind knowing how everything is going out there.'

‘Well, hopefully this will all blow over soon and you can take up where you left off.' His unspoken words –
But I'm not going to be your go-between
– hung in the air. ‘We'll talk about all this more when we get there Saturday. Are you okay if I update your mum?'

‘Probably best you do.'

‘Right, well, expect us mid to late afternoon. It'll be a slow trip with lots of stops since your mum isn't used to long-distance driving.'

‘If it's a problem, I'm sure you could put the car on a car carrier.'

‘It'll be fine. I think your mum is secretly quite relishing the chance to feel a little liberated,' he said in a whisper.

‘Well, drive safely. I can't wait to see you,' Jacqueline said, a wave of emotion sweeping through her.

‘And us too. Love from Mum.'

‘And back from me. Thanks, Dad. See you soon.' She ended the call feeling decidedly choked up.

Chapter Sixteen

Damien felt bad about avoiding Jacqueline at the CFS do. God, how he'd itched to make his presence known when she'd been standing so close to Paul bloody Reynolds, who was known for his smooth moves and snappy dressing. At least he'd been in yellow like the rest of them. Shit, maybe that was worse. Wasn't it well known that women were attracted to men in uniform? Maybe yellow didn't count. He hoped not. Christ, this would all do his head in if he let it and he was already doing it tough. Bloody Paul bloody Reynolds. He hadn't minded the guy until he'd seen him practically drooling over Jacqueline! Damien sighed. He couldn't blame him; she'd been the best-looking girl in the room, in the district, by far. But she wasn't his girl and until she was in the clear, he wasn't about to do anything to get her in more shit.