Stacked Up: Worth the Fight Series (12 page)

“Hell no. But they’re fast and easy.” He took another bite. “Where’s the kid?”

Penny rolled her eyes. “Belle,” she said, emphasizing the name, “is asleep. We were in the pool for hours. She’s exhausted, but I think it was the best day of her life.”

“There’s two empty rooms. You don’t have to share a bed with her.”

“I don’t mind. She’s not familiar with the house and she doesn’t have a crib. It’s okay. I feel good having her close by.”

“You should get one of those,” he said, pointing the fork at her.

“One of what?”

“A crib.”

“I have one. It’s in my apartment.”

He shrugged and took another bite. “You work tomorrow?”

“Yes. Olivia said she’d watch her. I don’t want to take her to Ms. Hannigan’s because I don’t know if it’ll be safe to go back to my apartment complex.”

She toyed with her necklace and drank a glass of milk as he ate his food. “You want to watch a movie?” he asked.

“That sounds nice, but I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable in your own home. What do you normally do when you come home? I don’t want to be in your way.”

“I would go to the Pier.”

“You can go, you know. Don’t feel obligated to come home because of us. Really, we’re okay.”

“I used to go to the Pier to look for you. To talk to you.”

She laughed nervously. “Travis, I’ve made such a mess of things. I am so sorry about everything. Maybe I was wrong not to have told you about Belle earlier.”

“You need to stop apologizing. Looking at it rationally, I understand why you didn’t. I was an asshole about it. I probably wouldn’t have given you a chance because of my own fucked-up issues and I would’ve missed out.”

“Can you tell me about those issues? What is it about kids that you dislike so much?”

“I don’t know, Penny. It’s just something I never thought I would have. Hell, I didn’t even think about it, to be honest. My life was such shit growing up, I don’t want to screw someone else up.” He stood and took his plate to the sink. Head down, his hands gripping the sink, and his arms locked, he sighed. “The thing is, Penny, I can’t un-like you. It would be easier. But I can’t.”

“I don’t know what to say. I can’t even say that I wish things were different. I love Belle and I can’t imagine not having her in my life. And that night with you, that one extraordinary night, was the best night of my life. I guess I wish you could accept that I have a child. But I don’t want you to feel trapped. I understand that’s not what you want. And there are absolutely no hard feelings if you want to stay just friends. I mean that. I don’t wish you could un-like me, though, Travis. It kind of hurts my heart that you would say that, because even with everything, I don’t dislike you. I maybe…maybe I even like you more.”

He didn’t turn to look at her, and she decided it was best to let him be. So she went to the living room and sat on the couch to wait for him to start the movie, if that was something he still wanted to do.

She heard some fumbling around in the kitchen, and then he was sitting with her on the couch, her at one end, him at the other. “Anything in particular you’d like to watch?”

“Nope…nope…nope,” she said as he went through a list. “Oh!
The Expendables.
I like that one.”

He shook his head and laughed. “C’mere, Penny.” He patted the space right next to him. “Sit closer to me, momma.”

Tentatively she scooted over. He pressed play and put his feet on the coffee table, his arm over the back of the couch. Somehow she ended up in the little nook between his shoulder and arm.

It was odd yet familiar sitting curled up against Travis. He smelled so good and felt so warm against her. There was nothing soft about the man—he was all hard lines and rough edges. She scooted in a little closer, loving the way he felt. “Keep rubbing yourself on me like that and I won’t be responsible for my actions,” he growled in a rumbly voice full of desire that matched her current state. She continued to look at the television, but her eyes weren’t really focused on the screen; every nerve ending in her body was focused directly on the man pressed against her. The man whose fingers absently caressed her shoulder. She wasn’t sure where to put her own hand. She so badly wanted him to kiss her. But it wasn’t her call to make. He was the one having thoughts about whether or not to move forward in their relationship. It needed to be him.

“I want to kiss you so fucking bad right now,” he said, as if he were reading her mind. She looked up and was surprised to find his blue eyes staring at her. The crooked nose that she loved so much looked almost menacing below his desirous glare. With one hand he cupped her cheek, leaned down, and kissed her hard. It was hard and desperate, so much so that her body arched, and before she knew it she was flat on her back, his large body hovering over her as his tongue explored her mouth. Her hand threaded through his hair, pulling him closer. “So good,” she moaned into his mouth as she ground herself against his thigh.

They were deep into a hot and heavy make-out session, the movie long forgotten, when Belle began to cry. Penny sat up abruptly, and they bumped heads. “Sorry,” she said.

“ ’S okay. Is she all right?” he asked, real concern in his words. “Don’t think I’ve heard her cry before.”

“She’s probably just scared, since she’s in a strange house. Let me go lie down with her for a while.” She straightened out her clothes. “That was…wow.” She shook her head. “Anyway, I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Why don’t you bring her here?”

“She may cry for a little bit, Travis. I don’t want to be in your way.”

“Stop saying that. It’s fine. Really,” he said as he stood. “Come on. Maybe if you…I don’t know…hold her? Rock her? Whatever it is that kids like. Maybe if you do that, she’ll fall asleep again.”

As he followed her to the room she told him apologetically, “She may not fall asleep that easily. I’m sorry for leaving you…um, like that.” She awkwardly pointed to the bulge in his pants.

“It’s not that, Penny. I like spending time with you. Making out or at arm’s length, it doesn’t matter to me.” He didn’t want to go to sleep yet. It was always a problem—he had all this excess energy, and normally he paced around or exercised it out of himself. But with Penny in his house, he didn’t want to leave her to go run this late in the evening. She’d think he was crazy. He needed the distraction and the company.

Penny walked into the room, where the little girl was sitting up on the bed, crying. She looked so scared and helpless. Until that moment, Travis hadn’t really looked at the little girl. Her blue eyes were clear like his own, her cheeks were red, and her nose was runny from all the crying. Seeing her cry pained him. The little girl looked at Travis as if he held all the answers, and that scared the shit out of him.

As soon as she saw Penny, she lifted her arms and tried to reach forward, but began to tip over. Instinctively Travis pushed Penny out of the way and caught the kid before she fell off the bed.

Startled from the near fall, and also from being held by a stranger, the kid began to wail. “Shit,” Travis said nervously, and handed the kid to Penny.

“I can’t believe you caught her. Thank you!” Penny said, still surprised. She lightly bounced the child up and down. “It’s okay, sweetie. Mommy’s here. Shh…”

Travis stared at the pair for a moment. As far as he could remember, his mother had never comforted him. Never. She’d basically left him and his sister to fend for themselves. He wondered if maybe she’d been different when they were little. Had she had moments of sobriety that made her…human? JL had seen it on occasion and even forgave her at some point, but Travis never had. Mostly because he had not seen one redeeming quality about the woman who gave birth to him.

The only reason he’d ever shed a tear for his mother was because it cut him deeply to see his twin sister sad. Even at the funeral, it had bothered him how little he felt. Maybe he wasn’t hardwired correctly. What kind of asshole didn’t care that his mother had died? She had been a shitty mother. The worst. But he should’ve felt something. Anything. Right?

Seeing Penny and her daughter together, though, did something strange to his insides. He’d felt it the other day when he’d visited JL and his niece and nephew. It was an unfamiliar feeling. He had never seen a relationship like that, one where there was clearly unconditional love. All that Penny had sacrificed for that little girl—it was disconcerting. Strange, even.

He walked out of the room and went to sit back on the couch. Soon Penny emerged with Belle in her arms. “If you hadn’t been there…” She shook her head. “She could’ve been seriously hurt.” The kid had stopped crying and was looking around intently in her mother’s arms. “Is it okay if we sit down?” Penny asked.

“Yeah.” He patted the space on the couch and scooted to one side. “Sit down. Is she all right?”

“She’ll be fine. She’ll be asleep in no time.”

“Should we wait?”

“No. Hit play,” Penny said as she ran her palm up and down her daughter’s back. Her shoulder and thigh pressed against his.

Travis tried to relax, but the little girl kept looking at him. Penny was oblivious, but Travis couldn’t help looking back at those eyes staring at him. He tried to turn his attention back to the movie, but then he’d feel her stare. It was creepy…until she began to laugh. It was as if she was playing with him. She’d hide her face against Penny’s neck and then look up at him through her lashes. He couldn’t help but smile back, which made her giggle. Her teddy bear fell out of her tiny hands and her bottom lip began to quiver, so he quickly reached for it and gave it to her. “Bubba,” she mumbled through her pacifier, and giggled again.

About halfway through the movie, Penny rested her head against his shoulder. It wasn’t like before, like when the kid was sleeping and she’d relaxed against him. This time she’d fallen asleep. But the little cherub was still awake.

“Um…” He wasn’t sure how to maneuver himself without startling Penny. So he hesitantly reached for the little girl first. “ ’S okay,” he said, extending his arms. Surprisingly, the kid went to him without any hesitation. “Twavis,” she said in a mumbled slurp of saliva and pacifier.

“Yes, I’m Travis. Let’s get you to bed first and then we’ll come back for your momma, okay?” he said, and the little girl giggled back. He still didn’t like kids, but this one in particular wasn’t horrible.

Awkwardly he carried her to the room and placed her in the bed. But then he got nervous she’d fall again, so he put her on the carpet. “Stay. Don’t move.”

The baby looked up at him and laughed. He ran down to the living room. “Penny, darlin’.” He went to lift her, but she startled and stood up, the top of her head bumping against his chin. “Oh. Ow. Sorry.” She rubbed her head and he rubbed his chin.

“Shit. Sorry. You fell asleep.”

“Where’s Belle?” She looked around.

“In your room.”

“You took her there? You carried her?”

“Oh, uh…yeah. Was that not all right? Shit, I didn’t think, I—”

She placed a hand on his shoulder. “No, it’s fine. More than fine. It just surprised me. I know how you’re allergic to children,” she said sleepily. Like she did often, she got on the tips of her toes and kissed his cheek. “Good night, Travis.” She hurried to her room, and when he heard the sound of her door close, he fell back onto the couch—the couch that now smelled of baby powder and Penny. Getting these two females out of his life was going to be impossible. And the oddest thing was…he wasn’t even sure he wanted them out.

Travis left for the Academy early the next morning. Normally he tried to get in some weight training and cardio before Slade or Tony came in. The cameras were set up that day, and there were a few fans—all women—outside looking in through the windows. It would be so easy to leave with one of them. All they wanted was five minutes of fame, money, and sex, which at one point was all he’d wanted too. But something had changed, and the women with the tight tops and short skirts didn’t look so appealing anymore.

Complicated seemed like the wrong path to take, but he knew he’d been wandering near that line, and every time he mustered up the courage to tell Penny he wanted more, he’d look at her daughter’s big doe eyes, eyes that were too trusting, too helpless, and too vulnerable, and he took a step back. No matter how much he wanted Penny, he couldn’t risk hurting Belle.

He had built up a good sweat by the time Cain walked in.

“Yo,” said the notoriously quiet and stoic Cain.

“Hey, man. You’re early.”

“Penny’s your girl, right?”

Travis put down the weight he’d been holding, sending a loud clang reverberating throughout the gym. “It’s complicated. Why’re you asking?”

“Saw her walking. Pulled over and asked her if she wanted a lift. Said no. It looks like it’s going to rain and she has a kid.”

“What?” he burst out, taking off his gloves. He pulled the hem of his shirt up and wiped his brow. “She’s staying with me. Maybe she’s going to the supermarket or something. I better go find her.”

“She was crying. I don’t do well with crying women.”

“Crying? What the hell?” Travis ran his fingers through his hair. “Where’d you say you saw her?”

“Bruggs Street and First Avenue.”

Travis ran to the back, grabbed his keys and wallet, and took off.

Fifty thousand dollars.

She had been hurt when she’d been abandoned by Lawrence. She’d been hurt when Kip had steamrolled her decisions and basically abandoned her at Fresh Start. But Travis accepting money from Kip somehow felt like the ultimate betrayal. He could have just said he didn’t want anything to do with her. She hadn’t even asked for help; he’d insisted. Then he’d accepted Kip’s money…for what? Why hadn’t he just kicked her out last night? Was he holding her there for Kip to get to her?

What had she done to deserve all the things that kept being thrown her way? She tried to be the best person she could be at all times. She considered herself to be kind, forgiving, and trustworthy. She never intentionally hurt anyone. But the number of things that had been thrown at her during the last year and a half were beginning to feel like too much, physically weighing her down and making her feel hopeless.

Maybe it would be easier to just go back home, she thought. Her daughter would have a privileged life because there was no way that Kip could now do anything but assume responsibility for his bastard stepgranddaughter. He’d hire people to take over the raising of Belle, even if Penny fought tooth and nail. And Kip would make sure to vilify Penny’s behavior over the last year—even making sure her own daughter knew it.

Penny sighed deeply. Even if she could explain her side of the story to the media, what good would that do? It would certainly not bring her or Belle any sort of peace. She’d be at war with Kip and the entire television congregation. And her daughter would remain by her side—poor.

She said a silent prayer before turning the corner to her apartment, praying that the reporters were gone. But no such luck—in fact, there were now actually more reporters.

“Penny! Wait up!”

She looked back to see Travis jogging toward her. She wiped her eyes and hoisted Belle higher on her hip.

“Twavis!” the little girl exclaimed happily.

“Hey, Belle,” he said back, then looked at Penny. “What happened? What’s going on?”

She didn’t answer for a moment, and then it was as if all the anger she’d felt, not just because of Travis but because of everyone and everything, came rushing out.

“Fifty thousand dollars?” She wanted to yell but knew she couldn’t, because she was holding Belle. “My life was fine for a year. We got by. Then you come along and turn my world upside down. And now I find out that you took fifty thousand dollars from him. For what? What did I ever do to you that was so bad that you’d do that to me? You keep telling me you have a lot of money. Did you really need more? Why did you pretend to like me? To care for me? And now my daughter is saying your name. She doesn’t even say my name…everything is so messed up!”

“That’s not what happened. It’s not what you think. Shit,” he said, looking behind her. He took her arm and tugged. “Come on. There’s a reporter walking this way.”

She looked behind her, panicked.

“Trust me. I didn’t do anything, I promise. I’ll explain—just let’s get outta here first.”

When she still didn’t budge, he yelled, “Penelope! Get your ass in the truck!”

She startled and began to move. When they got to his truck, half a block away, he threw the door open, took Belle from her arms, and buckled her in, a move that surprised her.

“Hop in, darlin’,” he said to Penny before jogging around and getting behind the wheel.

As they drove, Penny realized she was shaking. She looked behind her and couldn’t see anyone pursuing them. She began to relax a little.

“Listen to me,” Travis said as she turned back around. “I didn’t do anything.”

“Not yet. Haven’t had a chance to cash it yet?”

“Kip’s attorney came by yesterday and gave it to me. I told him to fuck off.” He looked at Belle, who was looking back at him. “Oops. Sorry. I mean, I told him to leave and then I went to work out. I completely forgot I still had it. I was going to give it to you. I thought maybe you could use it for the kid or somethin’.”

“I don’t know what to think, Travis.” She looked at him skeptically, then back out at the road. “Where are we going?”

“You need a break and we need to talk.”

Her brow furrowed as he pulled up to JL’s house. “What are you doing, Travis?”

He didn’t answer, just unbuckled Belle and then hopped out of his truck. Penny followed close behind.

“Yo, man,” Travis said when Enzo answered the door. Enzo had on a baby sling that held one twin on the front and the other on the back. If she hadn’t been so upset, Penny would have laughed out loud. “Where’s my sister?”

“In the sunroom painting. Come in,” Enzo said, stepping aside. “Hi, Penny.” He leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek, then playfully tugged one of Belle’s pigtails. “Hi, Belle. You come to play with Heather and Trip?” he asked, and Belle began to fuss in Travis’s grip.

“Hi, guys. What a nice surprise.” JL came down the stairs with dried paint all over her clothes and across one cheek. “Are you holding a baby? Wow.”

“Ha ha. I hold yours all the time.”

“All the time? They’re only a week old. You’ve held them twice.”

“Well, whatever. Listen, I know you two are busy. But I need a favor. Can you watch the kid—”

“Sarabelle!” Penny and JL yelled at the same time.

“Shit. Sorry. I meant Sarabelle. Cut me some slack. Anyway, can you watch her for an hour? Two, tops.”

“Of course,” JL said, reaching for Belle. “Is everything okay?”

“No. But it will be.”

Penny shoved Travis aside. “I’m sorry for the intrusion. Your brother is being crazy. I would never impose Belle on you with the twins—” She began to reach for her daughter.

“It’s no intrusion. Go do what you have to do. It’s really no bother,” JL said as she bounced Belle, who was now laughing.

Penny sighed. “You can’t just hand my daughter over whenever you want, Travis,” she huffed to him. Then she turned back to the new parents. “Thanks, JL. Thanks, Enzo. We won’t be long.”

“That’s just one of the things we’re going to chat about,” Travis said as he closed the door and walked her back to the truck.

Just like a few days ago, he took her back to the beautiful and isolated park by the beach. Instead of taking her to the bench by the sandbox, however, he pulled her through some mangroves and out to the beach, where it was completely deserted. Serenity cloaked the small sandy patch of land. The seagulls cawed above, the sun shone down on them, and the tranquil water lapped gently by their feet. “I thought about things,” he began, pulling her down onto the sand. He sat right next to her, looking out at the water. “Let me just start out by saying that I never would have taken the money. Even a few months ago when I was broke, I still wouldn’t have done that to you. To anyone, really. Not my thing. I think you know that.”

Her eyes filled with tears as she looked out toward the ocean. “I was tidying up the house. I went to your room to get your clothes to do some laundry, and while I was sorting things out, it just fell out of your pocket.”

“You didn’t have to do laundry.”

“That’s not the point.”

“I know. Just want you to know that you don’t have to cook or clean or do laundry. You don’t have to do anything. It’s not why I invited you over.”

“Why did you? Invite me over, I mean?”

“Honestly?” He looked out toward the sea. “I was still upset that you’d lied about having a child. But I also felt guilty that you got caught. I mean, you did tell me you didn’t want to be on camera. I ignored that and kissed you. I put you out there. But that guilt lasted about two minutes. The first day you were in my house, I slept better than I have in years. It was weird. You weren’t sleeping in my room or anything, but when I lay down I was actually able to get some sleep.”

“Don’t you do that every night?”

“No, I don’t. I usually go jogging or I pace around. I’m always restless and can’t sleep until I’ve exhausted myself. But the last couple of days have been better.”

“Okay,” she said warily.

“And it’s nice having you there. In my house. Even the kid—Belle. She doesn’t bother me as much as I thought she would. She’s actually kind of cute, and I think she likes me.”

“And I think you like her too.”

“Maybe,” he confessed with a coy smile.

“So what did they ask you to do in exchange for the money?”

“Step aside when Kip comes to get you. He’s supposed to be coming soon.”

She stood up and brushed the sand off her legs. “What am I going to do, Travis?” Tears streamed out of her eyes. “I can’t even go to my apartment. I feel—” She took a breath and closed her eyes.

“Tell me, darlin’. What do you feel?”

She shook her head, holding back the tears.

“You need to be strong for your little girl and maybe for the rest of the world. But not with me. Not here. Not on our little secret beach.” He got up too and opened his arms. “Cry. Yell. You need to get all that shit out.”

She hesitated for a moment before walking right into his arms. “I’m scared. I feel that maybe I’m making the wrong choices,” she cried into his chest. “I feel selfish. I feel lonely. I feel mad.” She fisted her hands on his shirt. “Oh God, I feel so mad.” As her sobs went from soft to full, his grip around her tightened. “Things get a little good and then super bad. I can’t seem to move forward. I want my own crappy pots and pans. I want Belle’s crib. I want my comfy pajamas. I just want the normal I had learned to live with. I don’t want Kip or Lawrence here. I don’t want to be called a whore to the world. And I want you, but you don’t want me. I just want to—” Her knees buckled, and she began to cry in earnest now, body-racking sobs. He dropped down and held her. “I just want to run away.”

“Can’t do that, sugar.”

“I know!” she yelled into her hands. “I know. I wouldn’t. I’d never leave Belle. But it’s so hard sometimes.”

“But sometimes it’s not,” he said, lifting her chin. “You have to let people help. You just do. And what you said about me not wanting you—it’s not true. Not at all.”

“Yes, I know you want sex. I kind of want sex too. But I wish we could be more than that. I can’t help it, I just do,” she admitted between sobs.

“I do want you, Penny. Exactly the way you want me, maybe even more. It’s just that…” He ran his hands over his face.

“You have the ability to hurt me the way Lawrence never could. That scares me. It scares me because I don’t know if I could handle another loss, and it scares me because I have to think about Sarabelle too. But I am willing to take that risk, Travis. And I don’t want to pressure you. God, I promised myself I wouldn’t. But I like you so much, Travis, and I want you to know that.”

He breathed out. “Penny, I’m just not cut out for a wife and kids. I’m fun and sex.”

“That isn’t true. You’re more than that. Why do you say stuff like that? I’m not asking for marriage; I’m asking you for a chance. A real chance to get to know me and my daughter.”

“I just don’t think I can do the domesticated home thing, and I don’t want to hurt you or the kid. Especially the kid. She’s innocent and doesn’t need to see men coming in and going out of her momma’s life.”

“I know about your mother, Travis. JL has told me. I know she was a terrible mother. I know how you looked out for JL—”

Travis shook his head and turned away from her. “You don’t know anything, Penny. You don’t know what you’re talking about,” he said angrily.

She reached for his arm and grabbed it. “I know more than you think. I know that if it wasn’t for you, JL wouldn’t be as wonderful as she is today. You took care of her when your mother couldn’t.”

“I can’t have this conversation.”

“You are worthy of love, Travis. Don’t sell yourself short. Don’t let the place you grew up in define you.”

He whirled back around to face her. “I was in jail.” Seeing her eyes grow wide, he went on. “Yesterday Kip’s attorney threw a stack of papers at me with all my priors. The tattoos I hate? They were from a gang I was in. I was sixteen when I joined. We were in Texas and dirt poor. My mom wasn’t around. These people took me in and I did stupid shit for money.”

“And that money you made, what did you do with it?”

“What do you mean? Aren’t you listening? I don’t think you get it. I sold drugs, stole shit, hurt people. Physically. Got into a shit ton of fights. Went to juvie so many times I lost count, and then starting at seventeen I went to jail a dozen times for stupid things.”