Squishy Taylor and the Vase That Wasn't (4 page)

I whack the butter knife down on the bench, nearly break the Vegemite jar, and slam the cupboard closed. No-one notices.

Dad asks Vee how school was, looking all concerned because she’s so quiet. While Jessie sits at the table, reading an email from
my
mum.

No-one notices me
banging
plates.

‘Wow!’ says Jessie. She keeps reading silently. Then she says, ‘Oh,
what
?’

There’s another pause. What does she think we’re going to do? Beg to be told what she’s reading?

‘No way!’ Jessie says.

I actually hate her.

‘What is it? What does it say?’ Vee asks, falling for Jessie’s game.

‘So …’ Jessie says, sounding all smug. ‘Devika sent me an article about the Opium Wars. It says there were forty-seven matching vases in a temple, and a British admiral killed the priests and stole all the vases.’

‘
Whoa
,’ Vee says, pulling her chair closer. ‘He killed the priests?’

Jessie nods. ‘Later, he sold the vases for lots of money all around the world.’

I’m listening, even though I wish I wasn’t. Even though I wish Mum had sent the email to me, not Jessie. I can’t help feeling a bit interested.

‘Now there’s an international treaty,’ says Jessie, ‘between heaps of museums, agreeing to give the vases back. But they haven’t found them all. They think greedy people are keeping them a secret.’

Dad grins
. ‘This is totally Devika’s thing. She loves a bit of righting old wrongs.’

He’s right. Mum calls it ‘
justice work
’ and it’s what she loves about her job.

Then Jessie squeals, which wakes up Baby, who starts
howling
.

‘What?’ Dad and I ask.

‘It’s the same vase,’ Jessie says. ‘The one from upstairs is one of the forty-seven.’

I run across to look over her shoulder. Dad and Vee crowd in. Jessie shows us the picture from Mum’s article. It’s exactly the same as the picture we saw on the tram.

Jessie does a search for the news article then flicks between the two pictures.

‘So. The vase upstairs was stolen from a temple by a
greedy
British admiral,’ I say.

Vee looks grim. ‘And then stolen back by a ghost,’ she says.

‘What ghost?’ Dad asks.

Just then, there’s a knock on the door. I run to answer it, because I’m the nearest.

It’s Mr Hinkenbushel.

‘I need to talk to you, Mr Taylor,’ he says, as if I’m not standing right in front of him. ‘Your kids have been
hacking
the damn security footage.’

Dad has gone over to Mr Hinkenbushel’s place with Baby. Which feels really weird because Dad and Mr Hinkenbushel don’t like each other. But sometimes even adults who hate each other become
allies
, just to gang up on kids.

We’re left sitting on the lounge-room floor, waiting to find out what kind of trouble we’re in. It’s supposed to be dinnertime and no-one’s cooking.

Vee looks pretty worried. ‘Killing and stealing,’ she says. ‘That’s exactly what makes a ghost.’ She’s
jiggling
her knee nervously.

‘It has to be a hoax,’ Jessie says. ‘So someone could steal that vase.’

‘How
could
it be a hoax?’ Vee asks, her voice a bit high.

‘Someone in a costume?’ suggests Jessie.

‘But what about how it just
faded
?’

Jessie shrugs. Vee looks even more creeped out.

I’m creeped out too, but in a good way.
Is it a hoax or haunting?
Either way, it’s huge.

‘Well,’ I say, ‘the main thing is that the vase should be returned to China.’

The others nod.

Then I think of something else. ‘Why do you think Mr Hinkenbushel wanted to stop us looking at the ghost?’

‘It wasn’t a ghost,’ Jessie says.

‘How do you
know?
’ Vee asks. It’s getting darker outside, and she’s looking more and more nervous. There’s something a bit catching about the way she jumps and stares around whenever there’s a noise.

‘I don’t know,’ Jessie says. ‘Let’s look at the footage again now, while Mr Hinkenbushel is distracted with Tom.’ She’s already hunting around for something.

‘Dad took the iPad,’ I say. I saw him slip it under his arm on his way out. Jessie stands still, like she doesn’t know what do to next.

We need a plan. Vee is
jiggling
like a crazy person and biting her lip.

‘In the movie, they did this thing to scare off the ghost,’ Vee says. ‘They did chanting and drew a magic circle. One man held a big black book.’

It sounds exciting, like a
scary kind of fun
. But Jessie is shaking her head. I can tell she’s worried about how seriously Vee is taking the ghost thing.

‘We need to look at that security footage again somehow,’ Jessie says. ‘Or get someone else to.’

‘What about Boring Lady?’ I suggest.

‘What about her?’ Jessie asks.

‘Well, she
is
the Chief of Special Secret Undercover Operations,’ I say.

Vee looks hopeful. ‘Do you reckon we could signal her?’

I scramble off the floor and grab the torch from under the sink. I switch it on and
blind
myself. It’s definitely bright enough.

We all run into our bedroom.

‘Is she there?’ Vee asks.

She’s there.

I shine the torch towards the window, but it just reflects back at our faces. Jessie takes the torch and pushes it against the glass. She scrapes it from side to side.

I do a
high kick
up to my bunk and sprawl, staring through the telescope and thinking,
Look at us, Boring Lady,
look at us
. But she doesn’t. She just keeps typing. Her face is
concentratey
–with a little frown.

Vee is getting more desperate. ‘This isn’t working.’

‘OK, what about this?’ Jessie runs to the door and switches our bedroom light on and off, on and off. Surely Boring Lady will notice a whole window flickering.

She doesn’t.

‘Boring Lady, help!’ Vee shouts. Even though we all know she can’t hear us.

‘We could email her,’ Jessie begins, then stops herself. ‘Only we don’t have the iPad.’

It’s starting to feel like Dad and Alice are never coming home and Vee looks
panicky
.

‘OK, you know what we should do?’ I say. ‘You know who
would
believe us?’

The others look at me.

‘Haunted Guy!’ I say. ‘Maybe he’d let us look at the ghost on
his
computer.’

We stare at each other for a moment.

Vee says, ‘You’re right. If anyone believes us, he will.’

‘Should we go visit him?’ I ask. ‘Now?’

That’s when Dad walks in with Baby. And he is
mad
.

We eat cheese on toast for dinner in silence while Alice puts Baby to bed and Dad skypes Mum. He talks to her for ages in our bedroom – probably all about how
bad
I am. When he comes back with Mum still on the iPad, it should be my turn.

But it’s not. Dad props Mum up on the kitchen table and makes us sit where we can see her.

‘Family meeting,’ he says, as Alice steps in quietly, closing the door.

I groan. ‘Family meeting’ translates to: ‘Adults talk too much. Kids get bored.’ I just want to visit Haunted Guy.

The adults take it in turns to tell us about using the internet responsibly. Which is exactly as interesting as I guessed.

‘From now on, we’re going to have a new rule,’ Alice says. ‘You’re only allowed to use the iPad in the lounge room.’

Jessie protests.

I look at Mum, who’s looking seriously out of the screen. ‘But what about when I skype you?’ I ask.

She shakes her head. ‘Sorry, Squisho. Lounge room only. You just lost your privileges.’

We do
pleading
faces. We promise to be
so, so, so good
. The grownups don’t shift.

Then I have to hang up on my mum without talking to her properly. Again. That’s the third night in a row that we haven’t talked properly.

And
it’s too late to go visit Haunted Guy. They make us go straight to bed. We’re not even tired.

Vee actually climbs the ladder to her bunk. I don’t think I’ve ever seen her do that. Alice flicks off the light and I hear Vee’s breathing get frightened.

I don’t care. At least her mum kisses her goodnight. I’m not even allowed to talk to my mum.