Squishy Taylor and the Vase That Wasn't (2 page)

Jessie is shaking her head, eyes wide, but Vee offers me a step with both hands. I haul myself up with my biceps, like a chin-up, with Vee’s hands helping.

From here, I can hear Haunted Guy better. He’s saying, ‘I’ll have to call my sister. It was
Ming Dynasty
. Absolutely priceless. Acquired in the
Opium Wars
… disappeared … spirited away. I was only gone one night.’

A door clicks. They’ve gone inside. Ming Dynasty. Opium Wars. What does it mean? I look down at Jessie, then past Jessie to the street, eleven storeys below.

I suddenly realise how close I am to the edge of the balcony. And that once you’re standing on the table, there’s no rail to stop you falling. My hands are slippery and shaky and I can’t hold on anymore. I
drop, slither, stumble
and
crash
my way back to the floor, quick as I can. I take a moment to stop being scared.

Then I tell the others everything I heard.

We stare at each other.

A priceless vase, disappeared from an apartment where all the doors were locked.

‘Cool!’ I say.

‘
Freaky
,’ says Vee.

‘We have to google this,’ says Jessie.

Then Baby starts crying inside and Alice calls, ‘Homework! Now!’

We run into the lounge room and I do a leapfrog over Vee onto the couch. She falls on top of me, giggling.

‘Oops, ow – get off me!’ I laugh.

Baby stops crying and does his
cutest chuckles
.

Jessie sets up her homework at the kitchen table and starts working with her head down. Vee and I spread our things out. Then we make up a game where you pretend to jump on Baby and miss just at the last minute. He thinks it’s the best thing ever.

Alice starts clattering in the kitchen and Dad walks in wearing his cycling clothes. His legs look so skinny and funny.

‘Hello!’ He comes round and gives us all
forehead-kisses
.

‘Hi, Tom,’ Jessie and Vee say, as they get
my
traditional Dad-hello.

I’m not used to them getting the same treatment as me, so I have to go back for more. I jump up on his back while he’s cuddling Alice.

‘Ooof!’ We all stumble into the bench and Alice giggles.

‘You’re getting a bit heavy for that,
Squisho
,’ Dad says.

I slide down his back, onto the floor. ‘Hey, did you know a vase disappeared from the apartment upstairs?’

Dad grins. ‘Oh and I suppose Mr Hinkenbushel stole it, hey?’

Dad’s joking because every time something goes wrong, I think it’s Mr Hinkenbushel’s fault.

‘
Daaaad
,’ I say, whacking his leg. ‘It wasn’t Mr Hinkenbushel, it was a burglar. Or a ghost!’

‘
Ow!
’ he says. ‘You’re scarier than a burglar and a ghost combined.’

I hit his leg again for good measure, and he takes Baby to change his nappy and have a shower.

But then I wonder about it. Mr Hinkenbushel is going to be investigating. What will he find?

After dinner, I sit on the couch and skype Mum in Geneva.

‘Hi, Squishy. Hi, Jessie,’ she says, waving from her desk.

I didn’t realise Jessie was behind me. ‘Hi, Devika,’ Jessie says, leaning her elbows on the back of the couch.

‘What’s going on?’ Mum asks.

‘Well,’ Jessie says. ‘Squishy gets
shotgun
on the iPad while she’s talking to you, but we desperately need to google things.’

Vee leans over my other shoulder. ‘So we’re here to hurry you up.’

Mum laughs, but I’m a bit annoyed. First they get my special
Dad-forehead-kiss
, then they butt in on my skype with Mum.

‘What do you need to google?’ Mum asks.

Jessie doesn’t even stop to think. ‘Ming Dynasty vases and the Opium Wars.’

How does she remember that stuff? She wasn’t even the person who heard it first.

‘Well,’ says Mum, leaning back. ‘I can tell you about the Opium Wars.’ Of course she can. Mum knows everything about international relations. That’s why she works at the UN. ‘Basically, the Chinese refused to buy opium from the British, so the British went to war with them.’

‘What?’ Vee says. ‘Why?’

‘To force the Chinese to buy opium.’

‘But that’s crazy!’ Vee says.

Mum does her sideways smile and nods. ‘Crazy,’ she agrees.

‘So then,’ Jessie says, scooting round to sit next to me, ‘what would it mean that a vase was “acquired during the Opium Wars”?’

Mum laughs. ‘It means some British pirate stole the vase from its rightful owner.’

‘Pirates!’ Vee says. ‘Awesome!’ She makes a hook hand and wrinkles her face. ‘
Arrrrr!
’

Mum laughs even harder. She actually thinks Vee is funny.

‘OK, guys,’ I say. ‘Go away! Let me talk to my mum now.’

‘Sorry, sweetie,’ Mum says. ‘Gotta run. My next meeting started three minutes ago. Love you, Squishy.’

‘Love you,’ I say, even though I’m not ready for her to go.

‘Bye, kids!’ She waves.

‘Bye, Devika!’ the twins say and then Jessie pushes the hang-up button.

‘Awesome,’ Jessie says and takes the iPad away.

It makes me so
cranky
. She starts reading out all kinds of boring things about the Opium Wars and the British East India Company, and I am the total opposite of caring. I just wanted to talk to my mum.

On the tram to school, me and my bonus sisters
squash
together on a seat. The two ladies opposite are looking at one phone. It’s that stupid YouTube clip of a kid dancing we were all laughing at last week, I can tell from the music. Vee smirks at me.

When it finishes, one of the ladies swipes at the phone. ‘Did you see this?’

Her friend takes it off her and reads aloud. ‘
City apartment haunted by the vengeful ghost of ancient Chinese soldier. Priceless Ming Dynasty vase “stolen by the spirits,” says owner
.’ They both burst out laughing.

‘Can I look?’ I ask and lean over, trying to see their phone.

‘Um … sure,’ one of the ladies says.

‘
Squishy!
’ Jessie says, elbowing me. I know I’m being rude, but I don’t care. The lady is already showing us a picture of a tall white vase, decorated with curving blue pictures of trees and mountains.

The tram
dings
outside school and we pile off together, saying, ‘Thanks, bye!’ to the ladies.

We start crossing the road and Vee asks, ‘Do you think there’s really a ghost?’

She looks pale.

Her face reminds me that Vee ‘
accidentally
’ watched a horror movie at a sleepover a few weeks back. It freaked her out so badly that Alice had to come pick her up, even though it was after midnight.

Now she’s got that same look on her face, like she just came home from the horror movie.

She grabs my sleeve. ‘Maybe a ghost
did
take the vase.’

Vee looks seriously scared. And I know the best thing to do with fear.
Face it head-on
.

‘Let’s sneak out tonight and try to find the ghost,’ I say, pushing open the school gate. It gives me a fun kind of creepy feeling, but Vee turns even whiter. Part of me knows we probably won’t see anything, but it would be fun anyway.

Jessie has an even better idea. ‘Let’s hack into the security footage from the night and
really
see.’

Genius
.

That’s the thing about Jessie. She can be so boring one minute, and
so brilliant
the next.