Spitfire (Puffin Cove) (21 page)

"
Ye're somethin' else, Laura. I miss ye."

"
Oh, Kane." She sank down on the dust covered arm of a questionable chair. "I miss you, too."

"
Laura, I'm five minutes down the road. Would ye come t' me?"

"
I would seriously love nothing more. But I promised Jill I'd watch Shannon for her this evening so she could go to her book club. She was sort of relieved to not have to take her to her parents' for a change. Shannon's been getting bolder with her grampa's sayings."

"
Aye, that she has. Do ye think I could come by and spend a wee bit o' time with ye at Jill's?"

"
Uh...um...I'd have to make sure it's okay with Jill." She chuckled through the phone. "I sound like a fourteen-year-old asking if she can have her boyfriend over."

"
And am I, Laura?"

"
Are you…?"

"
Yer boyfriend?"

"
Do you want to be?" She was smiling, but she couldn't hear the smile in his voice. It sounded to her like he was serious.

"
Oh, aye. I do."

"
Well, then," she choked back a little yip. "I guess you'd better come over and help your girlfriend babysit tonight."

"
Can we neck on the sofa?"

Now she heard the smile back in his voice
. And she could picture his gorgeous face. Oh, boy. Could she ever. She giggled. She really did feel like that fourteen-year-old, but with very adult urges. "Maybe. If you're good."

"
Oh, I'll be good."

"
Hmm. Yeah. See you at seven?"

"
Seven."

***

Jill smacked Laura on the back of the head when she asked her. "Yer some stunned, girl. Like ya have to ask." She rolled her eyes and stomped into her room.

"
Auntie Laura! Can you come here? This water's cold enough ta skin me."

"
Lord tunderin' Jesus. What am I gonna do with that girl?" Jill muttered from behind her bedroom door.

Laura
chuckled and went into the bathroom to run a bit more warm water for Shannon's bath. Ten minutes later she brought out a freshly scrubbed kid wrapped in a fluffy towel. And felt like she'd walked into a wall.

Kane sat at the table, sipping tea, while
Jill was tidying the kitchen.

"
Hi, small fry. 'Bout time you washed the grime offa ya. Pheeyew!" He waved his hand in front of his face.

"
I'm not smelly Uncle Kane. I gots ferfume on. Smell."

He came
over and rubbed his face in her baby-powdered neck, nuzzling Laura's in the process.

Oh, she wanted to eat him alive
.

"
Mmm, you smell delicious," he growled.

"
Uncle Kane, will you read me a story?"

"
Aye, if you hurry quick an' get in t' bed."

She started to scramble out of
Laura's arms, slipping towel and all, so Laura carried her on wobbly legs into her bedroom and took her nightgown off the hook. Shannon put up her arms, the nighty drifted over her head, and she scrambled into bed.

"
Ready!"

"
Oh, sure. A good looking guy comes along and suddenly I'm chopped liver." Laura jiggled Shannon on the bed.

Shannon
giggled and drew her arms up for a hug. "G'night, Auntie Laura. I love you."

"
I love you, too, sweet pea. Nighty night, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite." Laura smoothed the wispy hair from Shannon's forehead and kissed her tiny rosebud lips.

Kane brushed past
Laura, trailing his hand over her arm, then her abdomen, sending a whoosh through her belly. He slanted his eyes to her, gave her a soft smile, and a wink. Jesus. Putty! Total mush.

"
What're we readin', sprout?"

Laura
left the two to their story and went, wobbling again, back into the kitchen. She chuckled when she heard Shannon asking, "Uncle Kane, what's shopped libber?"

Jill
plucked her keys from the counter and slipped on her shoes. "Alright, I'm off. Bless your socks for watching Shannon. I'll be back by ten."

They bussed
cheeks, and Laura told her, "Anytime, honey. Have fun."

Laura
edged closer to Shannon's door. She loved the sound of Kane's voice, and listening to him change the lilt and timbre to animate the words of the story enchanted her as much as it did Shannon. She snuck a peak.

He was sitting with his back against the headboard, his long legs stretched out and crossed at the ankles. The little pink princess was in the crook of his arm as he held the book
. He would glance at her every now and again, making cartoon faces to lend action to words.

Laura
's heart tripped, shivered, then fell like a rock.

She could imagine him sitting in the same kind of bed, reading the same kind of story, to a little dark haired angel
. Tears welled in her eyes, and she spun away from the door. She had to get herself under control before he came back out. She went to finish the supper dishes to keep herself busy and distracted.

"
She asleep?" Laura whispered over her shoulder as she heard him walk softly into the hall, pulling Shannon's door almost closed.

"
Mm-hm."

Kane moved in behind
Laura and wrapped his arms around her, snuggling up tight. She didn't think that anything could feel better than this. At least nothing that involved keeping their clothes on. And she would settle for that tonight. Relish it. She just wanted to be near him.

She stood, slightly rocking them, loving the length of him nestled to the length of her
. Loving that he would do this, come over to spend a chaste evening with her, a sleeping child their chaperone. Loving him.

Every time she thought of him today she told herself that she was going to take
Jill's advice, enjoy each moment that they had together, no worries, no consequences. But then she watched and listened to him with Shannon, and it became unbearably hard to follow that advice.

"
Come sit with me, Laura." He pulled her to the living room sofa, and leaned over to turn the stereo on. He seemed very comfortable here, as familiar with Jill's home as his own.

"
Kane, can I ask you something?"

"
O'course, love. Anything."

"
How come you and Jill never, um, became a couple?"

It was a question that had plagued her off and on over the past weeks
. They were obviously easy together, and he doted on Shannon. She had meant to ask Jill earlier on, but had become sidetracked. Somehow.

"
Jill befriended me when I first came to Canada. We had an immediate connection, but there were never any romantic feelins' between us. I love her. Who couldn't?"

Laura
smiled. She knew what he meant.

"
She gave me what I needed most then, a friend. Someone I could talk to. And she understood about Fiona and Claire. She'd lost Will, too. We recognized that bond in each other, and she helped me more than I could ever thank her enough fer. But you can't manufacture what isn't there. It wouldn't have been fair t' either of us, or t' Shannon. Do ye understand?"

He tilted her
chin up and she nodded.

"
Can I ask ye a question now, Laura?"

"
Anything."

"
Would ye tell me about yer marriage?"

That surprised her
. She thought she had told him. But if she were honest with herself, she realized that she had really only skirted around the broad details. She blew out a breath. "Okay. What would you like to know?"

"
Just talk. Tell me. Anythin', everythin'. Whatever you want to."

"
You don't make it easy, do you? No leading questions?"

"
I don't mean it t' be hard fer ye, love. If ye'd rather not, it's okay."

"
No…it's not that. I just don't know where to start. How to tell you…I want to tell you. I want you to know."

She shifted on the sofa, and he rearranged them both, drawing her across his lap, his arms circling her, his hands roaming lazy circles over her arms
.

"
I told you that Joel and I married young, had the twins soon after. That was a really hard time. He was working his way up the company ladder, taking university courses at night. He worked very hard. I could never fault him for that. When I went into labour prematurely, he stayed by my side. He never left me alone. He was a good partner then."

She paused, and let the memories surface.

"We buried Jillian together in a private family ceremony, and then he sort of gradually withdrew after that. I was at the hospital everyday with Kyle. He was hospitalized for two months before he was big enough and strong enough to come home. Between work and school, Joel didn't have much time for us, and to be honest, I didn't really mind. I was head over heels in love with Kyle. The pain and sorrow of losing Jillian got poured into love for Kyle I think. And so, before we knew it, Kyle was a year old. We thought it was as good a time as any, so I enrolled in nursing school. I'd just finished my first semester when I found out I was pregnant again. Joel was furious. He accused me of doing it on purpose. We always used protection, so I don't know how he thought it was my fault, but I guess it was just the shock, and the despair. He was wild, trying to figure out how he was going to support a wife in school and now two babies. I stuck with school, and we made it work. God, when I think back on it now, I don't know how we did it all. My parents and his were all godsends. We could never have done it without them. They looked after Kyle while I was at school, made dinners, did groceries, whatever they could do. I'll be forever grateful to them. Anyway, Kevin was an easy pregnancy, an easy delivery, and an easy baby. I missed a semester of school, but graduated late and lucked into a job at the hospital where I trained. No mean feat, when half my class ended up going to the States for jobs. I was finally making money. My parents had paid my tuition, another thing that I was so grateful for. So the money I made went into fixing up the house, getting a half-decent car, catching up on the credit card payments. Joel was even more withdrawn by then. He was really doing well with his company, and his course load got heavier. At least that's what I thought. I started noticing…things. I'd rather not dig them up, if it's alright with you."

"
Aye, love. It's alright." He kissed her temple and hugged her tighter in his arms.

"
I confronted him. I asked him if he was having an affair. He lost it. Accused me of being everything but a white woman. Even tried to say that I must be the one having the affair. Ha! Like I had time. Besides, I'd never do that. Marriage was, is, sacred to me. I took my vows seriously, and in the end, I guess I just wasn't a very good wife. Turns out he'd been having affairs since before I was pregnant with Kevin. I was devastated, but like I said, marriage is a sacred vow. So we went to counselling. I think we had three sessions. He was done. Didn't want to be married to me anymore. That's it. And that's how it ended. We didn't talk much for the first three or four years, only what we had to for the kids. We gradually started coming around to being friends. He really is a good friend now, and we've made our peace. I don't hold him completely responsible. School and work and a wife and two babies would be a lot for any man."

She felt the tension in his arms, heard it in his clenched speech
.

"
Ye don't believe that. Please tell me ye don't believe that, Laura." She pulled away to look at him.

He was angry
!

What the…?

"Of course I believe it. Marriage is a partnership, and affairs are a symptom of break-up, not a reason."

"
Ah, shite! Who filled yer head with that bullshit? Him? Some over-educated psychologist? Laura, he cheated. He should have been home with ye, workin' his ass off t' raise yer boys. Instead he was out gettin' it wet with whatever skirt took his fancy? Ye didn't deserve it, and ye damn well didn't cause it!"

She laid her fingers over his lips
. "Shh. It's okay. Water long under the bridge. Look at me. I've never been happier in my life. I have two wonderful sons, and I'm living a great and wonderful adventure. In the end, I think Joel did me a favour."

Kane tried to stay calm, but under his skin his blood was boiling. What she said may be true, but she bore a scar so thick and deep that he didn't know if he would be able to scrape it away. He was sure that she was holding back, would not allow herself to accept another man, namely him, into her heart for fear that she would get hurt again. How was he going to make her see?
Again, Downey. Time, love and tenderness. Great song. Great advice.