Spiralling Out of the Shadow (The Spiralling Trilogy) (14 page)

‘Promise me Jason doesn’
t drink and drive.’

‘
He gets a taxi if he goes anywhere.’

‘
Promise me, no matter what time of day it is, if you’re ever in trouble, you’ll ring us.’

‘
I’ll be fine,’ Steph said.

I held her hand, pulling her close u
ntil her nose nearly hit mine. ‘Promise me.’

‘
Okay.’

‘
Mum and Dad would rather you were safe than have anything happen to you. You are family to us.’

‘
Alright, I’ll call if I need them. But everything will be fine.’

Steph swayed a little, then
vagued out on me.

‘Are you okay?’
I reached out to steady her.

‘
Yeah, just thinking about what you said before. Oh good, here’s your mum.’

‘
Be careful!’

‘
Bye.’ Steph hugged me, waved and ran back upstairs before Mum stopped.

I
prayed for her safety as we drove away.

I was running so late, it would have been easy to just stay home. But I’d told Shelly I’d meet her there.

‘
Love, take a night off,’ Mum said when she saw me panic about the time.

‘I’
d really like to go. Can you take me … please? It’s too late to get a lift with anyone. They’ll be there already.’

Thankfully Mum said
it was no problem. When I walked into youth group, music was already playing in the auditorium. I found a seat and allowed my mind, body and spirit to be refreshed. Danny was on stage but I didn’t stare at him. Instead, I kept my eyes closed. Tears rolled down my cheeks as I prayed for my three school friends. Soon, the burden of their worries was lifted and my shoulders relaxed. 

It was exactly what I needed. The music and the lyrics of the songs washed over me
—cleansing me. I sat through the rest of the service with a strange kind of peace—like everything might not turn out great—but it would still be okay.

‘
We’re all off for a walk early in the morning. Want to join us?’ Priscilla asked.

‘
Sounds great.’ I could do with some time away from my books.

‘
I’ll pick you up at seven.’

*~*~*~*

We drove to a lake miles from anywhere. The usuals were there, Danny included, but thankfully there was no sign of Rhett. The beautiful, serene, and seemingly untouched nature of the park relaxed me. We sat around wooden picnic tables to eat morning tea before we set off on a man-made boardwalk around the lake. When we got back we jumped into the freezing water for a swim. Well, most of the others jumped in. I waded up to my knees.

‘
Is this where you come when you’re not at the beach?’ I hoped the sun would dry my legs—quickly. I was sure my lips were turning blue.

‘
It’s where we come sometimes to do water baptisms.’ Shelly picked up a stone and skimmed it across the lake.

‘
Oh?’ I was intrigued. Weren’t most people baptised as babies? 

‘
It’s nothing weird or anything.’

I glanced back at her nodding. I believed her. I
was sure it wasn’t anything weird. I’d just never seen anyone other than a baby being baptised.

‘
I’ll invite you out here next time. You’ll see ... it’s nothing weird.’

I smiled. She was really pushing the not-so-weird factor. I wasn
’t about to be water baptised myself but coming to watch might be good. Anyway, I’d already been baptised—as a baby.

I did my best to keep my eyes averted from Danny all day. Seriously, my only attraction to him was just a passing lustful thought because of the similarities between him and that guy with amazing biceps I saw on the plane.

Most of the group who jumped straight into the water obviously thought we all should be wet and splashed us, laughing. This group had my kind of fun. Active, with lots of jokes, mixed with food. Good times.

I didn’
t arrive home until it was getting dark. Mum pulled a homemade pizza out of the oven and we ate in front of the TV. Just Mum, Dad and me. My best friend didn’t come home last night and hadn’t been home all day. She’d left a message to say she was busy. With what, I didn’t know. Busy with Jason? Busy with parties? She didn’t have a job. I didn’t know what she was up to. But there was no answer at Jason’s and his mobile was turned off.

The next day I woke up before the sun had entered my room and used the extra time to walk to church. It took a while, like
a whole hour, but after the fresh air yesterday, my body moved with ease and energy. During the service, I kept having visions of Stephanie crying. I opened my eyes to force the pictures away, but each time I closed them she was crying again. I was pretty shaken by it by the end of church, so I hung around for a while and asked Shelly and Priscilla to pray for Stephanie.

Mum looked concerned wh
en I stepped through the door. ‘Tabbie, Steph dropped in. She said she’d call later.’

‘
Is something wrong? Is she coming back again today?’

‘
I wondered that myself. But she didn’t say. She left in quite a rush,’ Dad answered, also with concern in his voice.

The visions of Stephanie
crying crossed my mind again. ‘I hope everything is alright.’

‘
So do we.’

‘
I have ridiculous amounts of school work to get through. I’ll be upstairs.’

I had to push myself to
write an essay, do my maths homework and get a geography assignment drafted. It was a struggle to keep my mind on my homework and off Stephanie’s business.

*~*~*~*

By Tuesday, Stephanie hadn’t returned my calls or been at school for two days. I checked with Mum to see if she knew anything.

‘
She was only here for a moment on Sunday … sat down to watch the TV with Dad while I was in the kitchen. Dad said she seemed to jump out of her skin when they reported on the death of a young girl.’

‘
Huh?’

‘
Didn’t make sense to Dad either.’ Mum shrugged.

I sat down at the computer and punched in
“weekend news Sydney.”

‘
Diane hasn’t been able to contact her,’ Mum continued. ‘The school rang them wondering why she hadn’t turned up for the last few days.’

I scrolled through a couple of pages
, but nothing stood out at me. ‘Morning Show?’

‘
Yes, your father was watching his usual shows.’

I read headline after headline. Some idiots were caught drag racing
on the freeway, a drunken buck’s night got out of hand when they left the groom strapped to a light pole. I scrolled down a little further, and there, staring back at me through the computer screen, was Jason’s friend, Jules. Dead from taking ecstasy. My heart raced. A lump caught my saliva in my throat as I tried to swallow. I waited a moment until I could speak with a steady voice.

‘
Could you drop me over to see Steph?’

Mum
agreed.

I didn
’t want to alarm her. I didn’t know the whole story. I’d hate to highlight something and then have it all blow over. I wanted to get the facts before I set off the alarm bells for my parents.

Mum
parked the car along the kerb. ‘Do you want me to come up with you to see if they’re in?’

‘
You can wait a minute or two, but I’ve got my mobile so I’ll call you later to come and pick me up. If that’s okay?’

Mum regarded me for a moment then
said, ‘Sure. Just take care okay.’

Even though they weren’
t home, I decided to wait. I sat on the top step checking my watch every five minutes, hoping someone would eventually turn up.

Finally, thirty minutes later, Stephanie inched her way up the stairs.

‘Where’ve you been?’ I asked.

‘
Hey what are you doing here?’ She gazed at me through red eyes in a vague trance, like she was on another planet. But not in a drugged kind of way. She’d been crying.

‘
Mum said you came by on Sunday. But you haven’t returned my calls and you haven’t been at school. Your mum’s been ringing. She wants you to ring her back ASAP.’ I knew I’d raced my words. I was short of breath when I stopped speaking.

‘Whoa hold on.
Sunday?’ Steph unlocked the door with a key from her handbag. ‘Yeah, felt like hanging out.’

‘You have your own key to Jason’
s now?’ Had she forgotten to tell us? ‘Have you moved in?’

‘
No, no—’

‘
Well you haven’t been home much.’

I grabbed my no
se. Musty ash and food scraps clung in the air. Obviously Steph noticed the stench as well. She rushed in to open up the windows.

‘
Don’t get all weird on me. There’s just been stuff going on because of my birthday—you know?’

‘
No, not really. Mum said you ran out in a rush on Sunday. It was Jules ... who I met the other night, wasn’t it?’

Steph
glanced at me, startled.

‘
And she’s dead?’ I looked her in the eye. ‘Who are these people you’re hanging out with? What are you doing with them? Are you really going out with
that
kind of guy?’

She said nothing.

Oh, no! ‘Did you take that drug too?’

The
guilty glint in her eyes answered my question.

‘
Are you going out to nightclubs as well?’

Steph
’s gaze darted from side to side.

‘
Oh, Steph.’ I had to stop judging her. She looked fragile. She needed someone to help her pick up the pieces. ‘There’s so much more for you.’

‘
What do you mean?

‘
I just know that God loves you.’

‘
Don’t go getting all religious on me now.’

‘
Come back home with me now, Steph. Please.’

‘
Jason’s expecting me to be here.’

‘
Leave him a note. He can always come over to our house.’

Thankfully Steph gave in to my begging.

I read over her shoulder as she wrote a note—something about Jason finding her a new job. ‘You looking for work again?’

‘
Yeah.’

‘
Have you tried Maccas or Woollies?’

‘
No, I’m hoping for a better paid job.’

I wondered what kind of job Jason was sussing out for her.

‘Are you going to tell your mum anything?’ Stephanie asked on the way home.

‘
She probably should know, but I won’t say anything. That’s up to you. What about your mum and dad? They’re the ones you really need to talk to.’

‘
No way!’ Stephanie clenched a fist. ‘They’d make me go back to Toowoomba. I’d rather die.’

She
looked at me for a moment then looked away. Did she really mean what she’d just said?

‘
I may not agree with the way you are living right now, but I am here for you.’ It was up to her, but she needed to be honest about her life.

The urge to tell Mum and Dad everything raced around my mind. But I had a feeling Steph would possibly run away, vanish, or do something even more stupid if I opened my mouth.

Somehow, I justified my silence. I was glad to see my best friend at home for a couple of nights—away from her boyfriend. But she was a mess. I had a feeling it had something to do with that girl’s death.

On Friday, Suzie and Janet edged in on me.

‘What’s going on with Stephanie?’ Suzie flicked her hair. Her sweet disposition seemed to be getting crushed by a mask.

The bell had rung, but Suzie and Janet had
me cornered. ‘She’s got some stuff going on.’

I tried to brush them off. If they really wanted to know, they could talk to Steph
anie themselves.

‘
Don’t we all?’ Janet screwed up her nose.

‘
Guess so.’ Was I the only one without major issues? One dodgy date was the single eventful moment I’d had.

‘Steph’
s changed.’ Suzie turned to walk away.

‘
I agree. She’s a completely different person this year.’ Janet turned to follow Suzie.

‘
Janet, Suzie!’ I followed them. ‘Just go easy on her, hey?’

I wasn
’t sure if any of them wanted to fix the deep rift that had grown between Stephanie and all of us.

‘
Will you come to youth group with me tonight?’ I asked Stephanie during our lunch break.

She glared at me like I had two heads.

I knew she didn’t want to come and was expecting a lame excuse but I wanted a reason. ‘What do you have against it?’

‘
Everyone seems so nice. It’s like they have it all together—my life just isn’t that easy.’

‘
Yes, they are nice. But once you come a few times you’ll realise they struggle with stuff, just like you.’

‘
Okay, just this time. Then will you stop asking me to come?’

‘
Agreed.’ I had to refrain from jumping up and down. I was so excited she said yes.

As the day went on, the fear of Steph
anie running off straight after school gripped me, so I waited outside her classroom.

‘
You’re going to have a great night,’ I said as we walked away from the school building.

She pulled the corner of her mouth back in an attempt to smile.

‘I’ve got some great friends there. Perhaps I can find someone who you can talk to, you know, about Jules.’

‘
I told you, I don’t want to talk about it,’ she snapped, then looked towards the gate. ‘Jason!’

He was leaning a
gainst the school fence. I didn’t hide my disappointment. ‘Oh, hi Jason.’

‘
Hello, Tabbie,’ he said with forced politeness. ‘Steph, I got you a job.’

‘
Really?’ She skipped towards him. ‘Where? When do I start?’

‘
At The Groove. You start tonight.’

‘
Isn’t that a hotel or something in the city?’ I stepped towards Steph.

‘
Yeah, that’s the one,’ Jason replied.

‘
Don’t you have to be eighteen to work somewhere like that?’ I asked.

Steph
anie shook her head, fobbing me off. ‘Guess I won’t be able to come with you after all. Can you let your mum know I’m starting a new job in the city?’

I hugged her before she could run away again.
‘Be careful, Steph.’

‘
I will.’ Steph’s mouth grew a wide smile as she left with Jason.

I kicked a rock off the path to avoid
watching them drive off. I’d been dumped for the boyfriend.

*~*~*~*

‘I’m concerned about my best friend,’ I said to Shelly soon after I walked into youth group.

‘
Why? What’s up?’

I told Shelly bits and pieces, trying to honour my friend and not paint her out to
be some kind of wayward teen. ‘I’m just not sure what I can do.’

‘
You can pray for her. Have you invited her here?’

‘
Yeah, it’s the friend I asked you to pray for last week. I’m always inviting her here. She came to that big concert night last year and doesn’t want to come back.’

‘
I can understand that. Coming to a night like that can be pretty overwhelming.’

‘
I thought it was great.’ I smiled as I remembered the night.

‘I know you enjoyed
it, but you’d been to youth group and already loved it here. I’ll keep your friend in my prayers this week.’

‘
Thanks, Shelly.’

At nineteen, Shelly didn’
t treat me like a young school girl. She was becoming a great friend. Because my best friend was so self-absorbed, and Janet and Susie had issues of their own, I found myself relying on Shelly more and more.

We started to play poison ball outside the building. One of the leaders did a crazy leap and came down on top of the ball, twisting his ankle. It looked hilarious, everyone was in hysterical laughter. He laughed too but we soon discovered he was in quite a bit of pain by the end of the night. I gu
ess it wasn’t that funny. I knew all about twisting an ankle and prayed his ankle would heal quickly.

The following day, when Steph arrived home, I ran downstairs to greet her.
‘How did the new job go?’

‘
It was great. The money is good,’ Steph said, without looking at me. ‘So I’ll be working less hours.’

Mum wanted t
o know all the details of Steph’s new job, but Steph was careful not to mention it was in a hotel.

‘Do you want a study partner?’
I asked when I could see their conversation was going nowhere.

‘
Yeah,’ Steph said. ‘I might have to use some of your notes.’                           

Wa
s she completely losing it? She’d left her schoolbag at her boyfriend’s house.

‘
So, did I miss much last night?’ Stephanie looked at her reflection in my mirror and scrunched her hair into a messy knob.

‘
It was fun.’ My face grew warm as I tried not laugh. ‘We played poison ball and one of the leaders twisted his ankle. It was really funny—not that he got hurt, but it was just a fun night.’

Steph looked at me like
I’d grown an extra limb.

I smothered the laug
h behind a hand. ‘Guess you had to be there.’

‘
So you just played games?’ She stopped fussing with her hair and sat beside me. ‘What about all the religious stuff?’

‘We don’
t do religious stuff,’ I said. ‘But we do spend some time singing, one of the leaders speaks —’

‘
Like a homily?’ Steph rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

‘
Not really. It’s a lot different to the churches you’ve been to.’

‘
Churches are all the same. Full of rules and people breaking them.’

There was something else bubbling under Steph
’s skin. She wasn’t herself.

‘
Go,’ she said with a click of her fingers. ‘Teach me all you know.’

‘
I can’t do all the work for both of us.’

‘
I’m so sick of school.’ Stephanie closed her eyes and lay on my bed. ‘I wish you could finish for me.’

‘
You know you’ll kick yourself if you don’t finish school.’ I didn’t want to cheat her out of an education. ‘We’ve got a maths quiz tomorrow. Do you know the formulas?’

‘
Bed plus Steph equals sleepy.’ She laughed.

‘
What did you do last night?’ My shoulders tensed.

‘Why?’

‘You are in one
fine
mood.’

‘
I’ll leave you to it then.’ Stephanie flung herself off the bed.

‘
Wait.’ I grabbed her arm to stop her from leaving my room. ‘How’s Jason?’

‘
Why do you ask?’

I raised my eyebrows in a “
tell me because I’m your best friend” kind of look.

‘We kind of had an argument. We’
ll get over it—we always do.’

‘
You argue a lot then?’

‘
A fair bit. I’m sure it’s just like any other couple.’

‘
As long as you aren’t abusive to each other and make up afterwards.’

‘
Yeah,’ she replied, looking at the floor.

‘
Having a boyfriend sounds like too much work.’

‘
Probably looks that way.’

I’d changed my mind about asking her
to help me find a boyfriend. I no longer wanted one. Steph’s life seemed to revolve around Jason. My life was fun and exciting and I was in control, making all the decisions. I didn’t want to give that up. Did that make me self-centred?