Spiralling Out of the Shadow (The Spiralling Trilogy) (9 page)

School returned with a bang
. Well as much of a bang as you’d expect in a private all-girls school. On the first day, we were given no grace. It was straight into assessments with due dates.

‘Don’t
expect a free ride this year. If you want to get into uni, you’ll have to work your tails off,’ was the message from our welcome back assembly.

I had
assignments for three subjects due way too close to ignore. So much more work than I wanted to do, but I couldn’t get out of it.

During the first few weeks, I couldn
’t fathom how Steph kept up. She worked late nearly every night. I was already in bed when she got home, yet somehow she managed to get to school and be organised.

Just as I was finishing my homework, Steph ran in.

‘Tabbie, Tabbie, he’s back. Mum just told me Jason’s back.’

No way! He’
s meant to be out of her life. ‘I thought you were moving on. He can’t neglect to call you for over two months and expect you to hang around for him.’

‘
He dropped by Mum and Dad’s yesterday and asked for my number.’ Stephanie bounced on my bed like a pre-schooler.

‘
Steph, careful.’

‘
Why?’

‘
Just be careful. I don’t want to see you getting hurt.’ Like in the major tears and dark depression kind of way.

‘
Jason wouldn’t ever hurt me. He’s just really bad at keeping in touch when he’s away. But now that he’s back—’

‘
Steph, he’s in Toowoomba, and you’re here. Remember? Hometown, Sydney?’

‘
I guess.’

Her face glazed over.
I’d burst her bubble. My realistic comment had cut her deep. I wondered how I could smooth over the blow.

But there was still a little piece of nasty in me that almost delighted in seeing her miserable. Where on earth did it come from? I detested it. I did want her to be happy. Yet in all of her
elegant and sophisticated beauty, she was a mess when it came to Jason. I left for youth group appalled at my own behaviour. I was nasty. Stephanie was hurting. It wasn’t something to delight over.

*~*~*~*

While engaged in reading my Biology text book, the phone snapped me out of a trance.

‘
Hello.’

‘
Hi, is Stephanie there?’ A male voice. Oh no, not Jason. I hoped it wasn’t.

‘She’
s sleeping. Can I take a message?’ I smiled, trying to keep my voice pleasant but I knew a snarky tone had already slipped through the phone. 

‘
It’s Jason. Can you get her to ring me?’

‘
Umm ...’ I could hear water running upstairs. Steph was up, but I didn’t want to let him know. The nasty Tabbie monster reared its face again.

‘Don’t worry about it. I’
ll call her back later.’

'
No rush,' I wanted to tell him. But all I said was, ‘Okay,’ before hanging up with a broad smile.

‘
Jason just rang,’ I told her when she came downstairs.

‘
Why didn’t you come and get me?’

‘Because y
ou were in the shower. He can ring back. You’ve got to make him chase you after what he put you through.’

‘
Did he say when he’d ring back?’ Stephanie checked her fingernails.

‘He said he’d call back later.
Don’t worry about him, let’s go see a movie.’ I was ready to take the night off schoolwork. ‘Mum and Dad have gone out to some work dinner.’

‘
Is there something we can watch on TV?’

‘
Nothing’s on.’ I’d already checked the guide.

‘What about the
video store?’

‘Sure, let’s go.’

‘
Can you go by yourself?’ she asked.

‘
No, I don’t want to go by myself. Look it’s twenty past six. The crazies might be out.’

Steph started shuffling through
the DVDs piled under the TV and asked if we could watch an oldie.

‘You’re hoping he’
ll ring back right now, aren’t you?’

She grinned.

‘That’s why we have an answering machine. Look—it’s turned on. So let’s go. It’ll take us fifteen minutes max.’

Stephanie nearly sprinted down and back with me skipping along to keep up. We
returned in record time to find no messages on the answering machine. It was hard to relax while the movie was on. It seemed Jason had edged his way back into Stephanie's life before we were able to restore our best-friendness.

I woke up the next day
still stewing over Steph and Jason, how my best friend had changed, and how I needed to get used to it. After jumping out of bed and turning on the shower, I let the hot water wake me up until I was interrupted by someone knocking.

‘
Are you going to be long?’ Stephanie stumbled over her words as she spoke quickly. ‘I’ve got to get to work.’

‘
Be out in a minute.’

With my
hair still full of shampoo, I turned the tap on a little harder and tussled my fingers through until the suds dissipated. Then I rubbed through some conditioner, shutting off the water before rinsing. A treatment, perhaps?

‘Shower is free,’
I called before I was ready to leave the bathroom—only to find my rushing had been wasted. ‘Oh. You’re already dressed.’

‘
Yeah, why were you in the shower so early?’

‘
Church. Are you on your way to work?’

‘
Yep, bye. Got to go,’ Steph said as she skipped down the stairs.

I continued to get dressed, pulling my conditioned hair back in a tucked
under ponytail. A spurt of steam grew inside. She could have told me not to rush. I should have stayed in there until I rinsed out the conditioner. With a quick glance at the timetable, I discovered I had to make a two-minute dash to catch the next bus.

‘
You don’t look your usual bubbly self today.’ Shelly greeted me when I arrived.

‘
Guess not.’ I still had half-washed hair and Steph on my mind.

‘
Come on in. I’m sure you’ll feel better after the service.’

The music began and the lighting dulled.
Peace resided on my shoulders and the tension fell away. I sat with Shelly, Priscilla and a few other girls who were opening their lives up to me. They were all so inclusive, forever inviting me to join them when they met up through the week. Up until now, hanging out with them twice a week had been enough to boost me through everything else going on.

‘
Would you like to join us for lunch?’ Shelly asked after church.

It would mean I didn
’t have to face Stephanie for a while longer. I could always get my assignments done later. ‘Sure.’

They took me to their favourite coffee shop within walking distance of th
e church. The conversation wasn’t about parties or boyfriends or school. They talked about life and living and freedom. My whole perspective began to change. That little green-eyed monster that dwelled within me was out of control most of the time. How had I become so self-centred? When did that happen?

Shelly dropped me home a few hours later. I settled into an afternoon chat on the couch with Mum, but was interrupted when the phone rang.

‘Stephanie, it’s for you,’ Mum called.

Stephanie
raced down the stairs like she’d been anticipating the phone call.

Her face bloomed. This time I made a conscious effort to keep my green
-eyed monster at bay.

‘
Yeah, I’ve missed you too.’ With a wide smile, her voice took on a new tone.

I waved, trying to get her attention. I don
’t know why, but I wanted confirmation that it was Jason. She answered my question by turning away from me.

‘
I don’t know when I’ll get back to Toowoomba. I’m really busy. I’ve got a job,’ she said.

I knew I should stop listening. But I lingered, trying to urge myself to walk away.

‘Yeah, I’m back at my old school. It’s great being around my friends again.’ She turned back around to smile at me.

At that point I knew I needed to walk away. I found Mum in the kitchen washing the dishes, so I grabbed a tea towel and dried.

‘
Stephanie seems pretty hung up on that guy.’ Mum sloshed water over a pan.

‘
Yeah, she really likes him.’

‘Are they serious?’

‘Yep. They were pretty serious before he went overseas. And it seems he’s back again.’ I wanted to change the subject. Steph was in the next room and could walk in any minute. ‘Um—’

‘
I hope he doesn’t distract her too much from her school work.’ Mum cut me off before I could think.

‘
Yeah, me too.’

I dried the last pan as I heard Stephanie say goodbye. 

I darted towards her. ‘Well? Spill.’

Her smile told me before she spoke.
‘He’s coming to Sydney.’

‘
When?’

‘
Next week. He chose Sydney. He had other uni offers, but he chose Sydney to be near me. Did you hear that, Tabbie? He’s coming to be near me.’

‘
I was wrong?’

‘
I think you were.’

‘
I’m sorry.’ Maybe now was a good time to stop hoping they’d never see each other again and just accept that my best friend had a boyfriend. ‘Wow, that’s exciting.’

Stephanie beamed
with a wide smile, nodding.

I tried to stay in the moment as long as I could but r
eality hit. We had work to do. ‘How are you going with that ancient history essay?’

‘
No go. Can’t get focused. How about you?’

‘
I can’t find enough information. Maybe we should work on it together?’

‘
Great idea. Let’s get to it,’ Stephanie said, pulling her ponytail tighter.

We laughed like we did before she
’d met Jason, the way we had before she’d moved away. Could this be the beginning of rebuilding our friendship?

*~*~*~*

I set my alarm to go off twenty minutes earlier than usual so I could shower without rushing. I wanted to keep things sweet between Steph and me. But when the alarm clock sounded, my eyes stung and I felt far from sweet. I shuffled to the bathroom squinting and let the hot water steam my eyes open.

‘
Happy Monday,’ I said after my shower as I passed Stephanie in the hallway. ‘Shower is all yours. Thought I’d get up a little earlier so we weren’t fighting over it.’

‘
Thanks, Tabbie. You’re one in a million.’

Yeah, sometimes.
‘This year really is going to be great.’

‘
I think so too.’ Stephanie leant against the wall.

‘I’
ve decided not to get back into dance. Do you think you will?’

‘
No. But you were going really well. Why would you stop?’ Stephanie pulled her lip between her teeth.

‘Because I stuffed my ankle.’

‘
It’s healed now isn’t it?’

‘
Yeah, but I think it’s weakened.’

‘
So what’s stopping you from strengthening it again?’

‘Dancing
was always your dream, not mine.’

Stephanie didn’
t reply. I didn’t understand why she would completely drop her dream to become a professional dancer, but, that’s exactly what had happened.

On Friday night Steph and I went our separate ways. She
headed to work and I went to youth group. I arrived home with blood still rushing through my body and cleaned up our rooms. First mine then Steph’s.

Stephanie trudged in
a couple of hours later, and fell into bed without noticing. The next morning Shelly arrived at nine.

‘
Who else is coming?’

‘
Mostly the music team. I’m just tagging along on Priscilla’s invitation.’

‘
Oh, you mean like the whole music team from church?’

‘I don’
t know who’ll actually turn up.’

T
he hairs on my neck prickled. I’d got used to seeing Danny on the stage playing his bass and admiring his biceps and good looks from a distance. Other than that crazy incident at the pool, which I’d squished into a dark hole in my mind, I hadn’t come face to face with him again.

I reminded myself that he was a complete
nerd. In all seriousness, looks were a very small part of a complete attraction.

We arrived to perfect weather and crystal clear waves crashing on the sand. There were a bunch of familiar faces, some playing beach volleyball and others lying on their towel
s. After a quick scan, I couldn’t see Danny anywhere. That was probably a good thing.

‘
Come on, let’s play some volleyball.’ Shelly dumped her towel and headed towards the others.

‘
Thanks, but I don’t want to risk stuffing up my ankle again.’

‘
Why don’t you strap it?’ Priscilla jogged over to her bag.

‘
Do you have some tape?’ I raised my eyebrows.

‘
Yes. I have a weak ankle too.’ She pointed to her strapped ankle and pulled out a roll of tape. 

‘
Thanks.’ Her kindness flooded my heart with warmth.

I
’d only ever played beach volleyball a handful of times. It was a thrill, with sand flying everywhere and high fives all round. What made it even more fun was being on the winning team. After the game, most of us hit the surf. I did my usual walk-jump-paddle-paddle until I reached the calmer water just past the wave break. I bobbed up and down while Shelly rode along the crest of a wave on her bodyboard.

Before
Shelly had paddled out again, my eyes were drawn to some very attractive boys on boards down the beach a little. Not bodyboards—surfboards. The surf was pumping and there were dozens of surfers floating on their boards, waiting their turn to catch a wave. Many of them surfed right into the shoreline. I was in awe. I couldn’t even bodysurf. While I was focused on them, a tidal wave crashed over my head, tumbling me over and over until my head hit something hard. Paddling and kicking hard, I found daylight again. The world spun and I spat out a mouthful of sand.

I rinsed my mouth with salty water and
tousled my hair out of my eyes before paddling back into deeper water. When I returned to my spot on the calm side of the waves, my gaze fixed on what looked like a dream ride for a surfer. The guy flicked his messy sun bleached hair as his ride cruised from way out in the ocean, right in to the sand.

My heart raced as the guy
picked up his board and walked towards our towels. He was with our group. He speared his board into the sand and jogged towards me in the flagged swimming area. I recognised him before his feet hit the water. Danny. A quiet gasp escaped my lips. He was looking in the other direction and didn’t see me. Phew. I searched for Shelly or Priscilla. Another large wave splashed my face. I hoped it would cool my overheating cheeks before anyone noticed. I couldn’t believe I’d just been perving on Danny. When the heat receded from my face, I returned to my towel.

‘
We’ll get going in around ten minutes.’ Shelly smiled as she dried off.

I nodded
and was surprised by a voice in my ear.

‘
You must be Tabbie.’ A guy plonked himself right down beside me. He may as well have shared my towel, he sat so close. 

‘
Yeah. Are you part of the music team?’

‘
Oh no, not me. I’m Rhett. I go to school with Danny. He told me about you.’

‘
Really?’ What did Danny know about me? I hoped the breeze would stop my face turning completely red, but a tingle of warmth rose up my neck. ‘What did he say?’

‘
That you were a great chick, so I thought I should get to know you.’ He brushed some sand off my towel, making slight contact with my thigh. I crossed my legs, trying not to be obvious. But he was way too close.

‘
But I barely even know D—’

‘
He tells me you’re a great swimmer. Do you do all the strokes?’ Rhett raised his eyebrows then winked.

I looked away. He was seriously flirting with me!

‘Well I don’t do much dog-paddling.’ I said as I stood and shook my sandy towel out, allowing the wind to blow the sand in the air. 

‘
Hey, you’re covering me in sand!’ He jumped up, dusting himself off.

‘
Oops, sorry.’ But not really.

‘
So, I was thinking. Maybe you and I could see a movie sometime.’

Wow, he was quick. I smiled and shook my head. As I walked away a sight nervous giggle escaped my lips.
 He was average. Nothing stood out about his looks. Sure he had muscles, but so did every other guy on the beach. I didn’t expect a friend of Danny’s to be such a painful flirt. I slid into the front seat of Shelly’s car.

‘
Do you want to come in and have lunch?’ I asked when she pulled up outside my home.

‘Thanks,’
she said, ‘but I promised Mum I’d have the car back. See you in the morning.’

I waved as she drove away. No one had said anything about my gawking at Danny. As long as no one noticed, I could be free to get my fill of eye candy and no strings would be tangled.

A knot pulled my stomach as I plonked myself on the couch with Mum and Dad to watch cars driving around in circles. Something about Danny’s friend unnerved me. I was thankful Shelly had to leave so I didn’t have to continue the conversation with him.

Stephanie
arrived home only a few minutes after me. A very good-looking guy followed closely behind her. So here he was. He did have amazing dreamy-brown eyes and they followed Stephanie’s every move. His T-shirt clung to his broad shoulders. Wow, he would stand out in any crowd.

‘
Jason, this is Tom and Francine. And this is my best friend, Tabbie.’

Dad flicked the TV off and both he and Mum stood up.

‘Pleased to meet you.’ Dad offered his hand to shake.

‘Hello.’ Jason’s
smile was slightly crooked.

I
went to invite them to sit down and chat but Stephanie whisked Jason up to her bedroom before I took a breath.

‘
Mum, are you okay with that?’

‘
No love, but I won’t embarrass her right now.’

Jason left before dinner. I waited to see how long Mum and Dad would
wait until they addressed the bedroom situation.

Dad
broke the silence. ‘I think we need to make some rules if Jason is going to be visiting regularly.’

Mum nodded.

Stephanie opened her mouth, but closed it again without speaking.

Dad cleared his throat after everyone sat around the table.
‘Now ... we’ve never let our kids have boyfriends or girlfriends in their room. It’s a rule in our house.’ He picked up his knife and fork, looking at his plate then back at Stephanie. ‘What’s been the rule at your home?’

‘
We never had one.’ Stephanie pushed the food around on her plate.

I sat at the table playing eye ping pong, not game to speak in case I put my foot in it. Mum and Dad were pretty fair on her. They said Jason was allowed
in her room during the day as long as the door was open. There’s no way they’d ever be that relaxed with Peter or me.

Stephanie agreed to Mum and Dad
’s rules. I checked her body language and hoped they could trust her—I had my doubts. I wanted to suggest she keep her relationship a little less intense. But I knew I couldn’t control her. She was a free spirit, focused on her boyfriend.

I recalled a conversation I’d overheard between Mum and Dad
after Dad had spoken to Stephanie’s father on the phone. Mr Stronge wouldn’t allow them to take on Stephanie’s guardianship. He said it wouldn’t be necessary and that they didn’t want to hand over the responsibility. The arrangement was for boarding only. The Stronges planned to keep in touch and follow up with the school and Stephanie on a regular basis.

I didn’t understand where they were coming from. And from Mum’s reaction, she didn’t either.