Authors: Chandra Sparks Taylor
B
y the time Derrick and I made it back to Hollis, it was almost two o'clock in the morning, and we had missed our midnight curfew. Derrick had wanted to head home as soon as the competition was over, but I had convinced him that we needed to go out and celebrate. I knew we would be late, but I figured my daddy would be so excited we'd won that he'd talk to Mama so she wouldn't be upset. Since I knew we were going to be in trouble, I hadn't bothered to call, and I wouldn't give Derrick his phone so he could call.
After we'd dropped Loretta and Kyle off, I drove with the radio booming, until Derrick made me turn down the volume.
“Man, I didn't think Loretta was ever gon' stop talking about her picture being in the paper,” I said when the quiet finally started getting to me. “I hope that girl lands a deal soon. She's about to drive me crazy talking about modeling.”
“That's all she talks about,” Derrick agreed, looking out his window.
“Yeah, that's true. It's cool that we're gonna be in the paper, though, huh?” I said, tapping my fingers against the steering wheel.
“You think they're still up?” Derrick asked, ignoring me as we got off the Cross Island Parkway at the Hempstead Turnpike exit. We had headed to a local diner for something to eat before dropping off Kyle and Loretta, who both lived in Rosedale.
“Who knows?” I said, shrugging. I took my eyes off the road and briefly glanced at him. “So what, we're a little late. We're not gon' let them ruin this night for us, okay?”
Derrick tried to look as though he wasn't worried, but I knew he was, so I changed the subject.
“Man, where did you come up with those lyrics? That's not what we rehearsed.”
Derrick shrugged and grinned sheepishly. He was really shy except when he was around people he was close to and when he got onstage. Then he became a different person. “You know how it is when the music takes over,” he said.
I did know. I loved the way working the crowd made me feel.
“That note you hit was crazy.” He looked at me and raised an eyebrow, still amazed at my vocal talent.
“Yeah, you know I've got skills.” I grinned.
We listened to the radio for a couple of blocks, and I felt him starting to worry again.
“When are you gonna get that clunker of yours fixed? I'm tired of chauffeuring you around,” I joked. Truthfully, although Derrick was two years older than me, we were as close as twins, but we looked totally different. We were like a Reese's candy cup: his skin was the color of milk chocolate, and mine was like peanut butter. We did everything together, and I liked hanging with him. We were both graduating from high school the next week, and we would be freshmen at Morgan State in the fallâhe was going to major in biology, and I was thinking about music, but I hadn't made up my mind.
I had skipped ninth grade, so Derrick and I were both graduating from Queens Academy that Thursday. We were covaledictorians, so we each had to give a speech. Derrick had been working on his for weeks, but I hadn't even started mine.
Derrick laughed. Thanks to the local performances at parties we had been doing for the last two years, we had created a buzz for ourselves in Queens, and with the money we'd made, we had both been able to buy used cars. I had gotten my Honda Civic a few months earlier for my sixteenth birthday. Derrick had gotten an old Honda Prelude. It stayed in the shop more than it did on the road, but he loved his car as much as I did mine.
“What are you gonna buy with the prize money?” I asked.
Derrick pushed back his baseball cap and rubbed his hand over his close-cropped hair as he thought. “I don't know,” he finally said. “I still can't believe we won.” He looked down at the trophy, which he held between his legs, probably to make sure it was still there. “What about you?”
“Maybe that leather jacket I saw at that store on Jamaica Ave.,” I said.
“Yeah, it was nice,” Derrick said, and stroked his chin. “But maybe you should wait. Summer is about to start.”
We had seen the black full-length coat when we had gone to look for turntable equipment a few weeks ago, and I hadn't been able to get it out of my head.
“Yeah, you're right. Maybe I'll just save my half of the money and treat myself to the coat when we land our deal.”
“You really think we're going to win All-City?”
I took my eyes off the road for a second to look at him. “I know we are,” I said. “I mean, some of those acts were good, but they weren't as good as us. We'll just practice every chance we get between now and August. Don't forget they still don't know I can rap.”
He nodded thoughtfully. We turned onto our block and saw that the living room light was on, as it usually was when we went out. Derrick glanced at me.
“They're probably asleep,” I said. I tried to sound convincing, but I didn't think I pulled it off, since he looked at me real skeptical.
We walked in the door, and Mama looked like she had been in the same spot since we'd left earlier that evening.
“Do you know what time it is?” she asked, getting up to meet us at the front door. We didn't get a chance to answer. “I've called you half a dozen times.”
“But Mamaâ” I said.
“Do I look like I need you to say anything right now? Do you know how worried I've been?” She looked from Derrick to me, and I didn't know whether we should answer. “Do you hear me talking to you?” she asked through clenched teeth.
“But Mama, we won,” I said, grabbing the trophy from Derrick and holding it up for her to see. “We get to compete in All-City, and when we win, we'll get a record deal. We're gonna be famous.”
Mama ignored me and turned to Derrick. “I know Jasmine put you up to this. You know better than to be out this late without calling me. What has gotten into you?”
Derrick looked at the floor in silence, and I immediately jumped to his defense. “Mama, it was my fault. I wanted to go out to celebrate. My cell phone battery was dead, and I had Derrick's phone in my purse, which is why we didn't get your messages.”
She looked at me like she didn't believe a word I was saying.
“For real, Mama. Look, I promise it won't happen againâ”
“I know it won't,” Mama said. “The two of you are grounded for the rest of the summer.”
“What?” I screamed. I couldn't believe she was being so unfair. It wasn't like we missed curfew that often. “But Mama, didn't you hear me? We're going to All-City. We have to practice, and we have all those parties lined up. Please, we'll do anything you ask, but you can't put us on punishment now.”
Mama walked toward the back of the house, indicating that we weren't going to talk about it anymore. I glanced at Derrick, and he just stood there. I ran to catch up with her. “Mama, you can't do this!” I yelled, trying to keep from crying.
All our screaming woke Daddy, who stood in the door of their bedroom, rubbing his eyes. “What's going on?” he asked sleepily.
“You need to talk to your daughter,” Mama said, turning to look at me.
Whenever I did anything wrong, she didn't claim me.
I ran over to him. “Daddy, we won,” I said, showing him the trophy.
His eyes lit up. “Congratulations, baby,” he said. He picked me up and spun me around, placing a kiss on my cheek. Mama frowned. “Oh, come on, baby,” he said, looking at her. “That's great news.”
“Daddy, I didn't tell you the best part of all: we get to go to All-City, and when we win there, we get a record deal!” I screamed. I jumped around as the reality of my words set in.
Mama and Daddy never attended any of our performances. I think they reminded Daddy too much of his past and all he had given up. He had just been about to sign a record deal when Mama told him she was pregnant with Derrick. They'd both had to drop out of school and get jobs to take care of Derrick and then me when I came along two years later. Although they never said they regretted not finishing college, I always wondered if they did. They were constantly riding Derrick and me about the importance of getting our education, making sure to mention that my cousins were doing well in college, and all the talk was starting to get on my nerves.
Derrick and I had gotten to the point where we stopped talking to them about our performances, because my parentsâespecially my motherâalways managed to work education into the conversation.
I had totally tuned Daddy out, and when I refocused on the conversation, Derrick had come into the hall and Mama was once again going on about the importance of education.
“You're starting college in a couple of months, and since you'll be on punishment for the rest of the summer, you can just tell whoever that you won't be performing in that competition, so there won't be a record deal.”
“Mama!” Derrick and I both shouted. I knew he probably was more upset for me than for himself. Although Derrick liked music, it was really my dream to pursue it professionally, not his.
I turned to Daddy. “Daddy, please don't let her do this,” I whined.
Mama ignored me. “As long as you're living in my house, you're going to abide by my rules,” she said.
“Daddy,” I wailed again.
“Don't bring your father into this,” Mama said, giving Daddy that look that parents exchange. “I've made my decision, and that's final.” She turned to go into her room, which meant the conversation was over.
I looked at Daddy, silently pleading with him to talk to her. “I'm sorry, baby,” he said. He had learned from experience not to get into our arguments.
“This isn't fair,” I whined.
Mama spun around. “I've had just about enough of you, young lady.” She looked like she had a lot more to say, but I didn't want to hear it.
“No, I'm the one who's had enough,” I yelled.
My outburst shocked everyone into silence. I couldn't believe I had actually let the words out. I mean, I had thought them plenty of times, but I liked my life too much to say them out loud.
“You're always trying to run my life. I'm sick of it. You're not going to ruin this chance for us. I'll move out if I have to,” I said, and flew to the safety of my room.
I was relieved when I woke up around nine the next morning to find that Mama and Daddy had already left for work. My daddy, Thomas Richardson, drove the Q4 bus route in Cambria Heights, and my mama, Patricia, worked at the post office in Laurelton. They both seemed to like their jobs just fineâuntil my uncle Henry came around. Uncle Henry is a year younger than Daddy, and he owned some big-time law firm in Manhattan. He and Daddy didn't talk much, because Daddy said Uncle Henry only knew two things to talk aboutâthe past and his kids.
Daddy said he and Uncle Henry were supposed to be as big as some of the old-school rappersâUncle Henry was going to be the rapper, Daddy was the DJ and some guy named Chubby was going to be the producer. They used to hang out with a lot of famous people before those people were stars and everything, since they all grew up in the same neighborhood. We lived in the house Daddy and Uncle Henry had grown up in, another thing Uncle Henry never let Daddy forget.
Apparently, Uncle Henry was still mad that Daddy messed up their future. I always wondered why Uncle Henry just didn't go through with his plans on his own. Once I had asked Daddy, but he'd told me to stay out of grown folks' business, so I never brought it up again, but I wondered just the same. Derrick said he thought Uncle Henry dropped it because he wasn't as passionate as Daddy, sort of like me and Derrick. Music was okay for Derrick, but for me it was like breathing.
I headed to the kitchen, grabbed a bowl of cereal and flopped down in a chair. I thought about turning on the TV, but I wasn't in the mood, so I flipped through the copy of the
Daily News
that Daddy had left on the table. Our picture had made it into the paper. I knew Loretta was gonna be mad, because she and Kyle had been cut out. If I looked real close, I could see her shoulder.
I shook my head as Derrick walked in.
“Hey,” he said. “What are you looking at?”
I showed him the picture, and he started laughing. “Dang, that girl just can't get a break,” he said.
Loretta was always trying to get her big break as a model, but nothing ever seemed to work out for her. I thought it had something to do with her body. Although she was only sixteen, she had the full butt and hips of a grown woman. She was almost too shapely for modeling. And she had gotten scammed out of so much money it was crazy, but that didn't stop her from pursuing her dream, which I could understand.
Derrick grabbed a bowl and poured some cereal. “Do you think Mama's going to keep us on lockdown for the rest of the summer?”
I shrugged, and we ate in silence for a while until I couldn't take it anymore. I turned on the television, and we watched a few videos. When one of DC Records' artists came on, I remembered the card I had gotten from Dexter Chamberlain the night before, and tried to remember where I had put it.