Authors: Chandra Sparks Taylor
She gave a brief laugh and shook her head. “I saw that spark in your eye even then. I've always tried to discourage you, because I know how shady this business can be. I figured if I wasn't involved or didn't show my support you would eventually lose interest. I didn't want you to be hurt.
“I'm sorry you lost the competition, baby, but part of me is glad that you did. I hope this will make you reconsider going to school. You guys aren't supposed to go until next week, so you still have time.”
I looked at her in surprise, and she laughed. “You had to know that I realized a long time ago that you really weren't planning on going to school.”
I found myself laughing, too. I had been trying to hide the truth from her, but the real truth was that my mother knew me better than anyone.
She got up and finished fixing the pancakes, then placed a big plate of them in front of me before serving herself.
“Where are Daddy and Derrick?” I asked.
“I don't know,” she said. “They were both gone when I got up this morning.”
We ate in silence for a few more minutes.
“So how has it been living on your own?”
“Good,” I said.
“I used to always dream of packing up my bags and leaving, but I never had the nerve to do it. I've always admired that about you, Jasmine. You've got a lot of spunk. Never lose that.”
I nodded.
“So you ready to come back home yet?”
I thought about her question. I really did enjoy being able to come and go as I pleased, but there was nothing like knowing I had somewhere I could really call home to lay my head every night. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I did miss being at home.
“Yeah, I'm ready to come back,” I said softly, looking at the floor.
“This door is always open to you,” she said, and smiled.
I smiled, too, realizing that T would be happy that I'd finally made things right with Mama.
“So tell me about this boy you've been seeing,” she said, as though reading my mind.
I looked at her in surprise.
“Now, you couldn't possibly think that I haven't been keeping up with what's going on in your life,” she said.
“But who told you?” I said, highly doubting it was my brother.
“Kyle called here complaining about you seeing this grown man.”
I groaned. “He has been driving me crazy,” I said, our kiss flashing through my mind. I quickly erased the thought.
“He's in love with you,” Mama said matter-of-factly.
“You think so?” I asked, and my heart sped up in a way it never did when I thought about T.
“Of course. That boy has been in love with you for years, and although you probably won't admit it to yourself, you're in love with him, too.”
I didn't know how to respond to that, so I drank some milk.
“So this T fellow is almost twenty?”
I nodded.
“You know, Jas, that's really too old for you,” she began, but then she looked at me. “But I'm going to let you make your own decision.”
“Thanks, Mama,” I said, getting up to give her a hug.
“So when are you moving back?” she asked.
“Why not today?” I said.
“Sounds good.”
After breakfast, I went to get my keys so I could go get my stuff from Loretta's. I finally found them in my purse. As I was grabbing my purse, my phone vibrated, indicating I had a messageâactually, a few of them. T had called a few times, sounding worried as had Loretta and Kyle. I decided I'd swing by T's house, then head to Loretta's. I'd figure out what to do about Kyle on the way.
When I let myself into T's house, the place was dark, so I figured he was out. I was trying to find a piece of paper and a pen to leave him a note when I heard voices coming from his recording studio.
I smiled, realizing that T was home, and I was suddenly excited to see him.
I threw the door open, and it took a second for the pungent odor of marijuana to hit me.
At the same time, I caught sight of T and Loretta tangled on the sofa. They were so into what they were doing that they didn't notice meâuntil I walked up and slapped the fool out of Loretta, whose big breasts were swinging all in T's face.
She was so into the kiss that it took a while for her to react. When she finally opened her desire-filled eyes and looked at me, her eyes widened in shock. By then, T was pushing her off him.
I was so angry I couldn't speak. I turned to walk out of the room, but then the image of what I had seen five minutes before flashed before my eyes. I swung back around and hauled off and punched Loretta in her face again. T tried to step between us, and I swung on him, too.
“Y'all can have each other,” I screamed. “I can't believe this.”
As much as I wanted to collapse on the floor, I didn't want to give them the privilege of seeing me that way. With all the dignity I could muster, I removed T's heart-shaped key chain from my key ring and handed it to him. “Looks like your heart really doesn't belong to me,” I said quietly.
“Baby, don't do this,” he said. “I'm so sorry.”
I didn't even bother to respond.
I headed out to my car and drove to Loretta's, determined to have all my stuff moved out before she got there.
I went in to find her mother lying across the sofa, drunk. I just shook my head and started gathering my things. It took me two trips to my house, but I finally moved everythingâand I realized if I had left anything behind, it wasn't worth having.
After deciding I'd unload my car later, I headed to my room. I met Mama coming out of the bathroom. She must have seen the pain on my face because she grabbed me and didn't let go, and that was when the tears came. She didn't say a word. She just rocked me for what seemed like hours. When I felt as though I couldn't cry anymore, she tucked me into bed, pulled the covers up to my chin and kissed my forehead.
I didn't think I would be able to sleep, but the past few days had finally caught up with me. When I woke up, the sun was shining.
I went to the bathroom, then headed to the kitchen, where my brother was sitting at the table.
“Girl, I was just about to come check on you.”
“I'm okay,” I said. “I was just a little tired.”
“I guess so. You've been asleep since yesterday morning.”
I looked at him like he was crazy. “What?” I finally managed to say.
“Yeah,” he said. He looked at me. “You okay?”
The image of T and Loretta together flashed through my mind. “I'll be fine,” I said quietly.
He just nodded. “Welcome home,” he finally said.
I smiled, liking the sound of that.
“What do you have planned today?” I asked.
“I'm going to try and finish packing.”
It took me a while to remember what he was talking about. “Oh, yeah. I forgot school starts next week. When are you leaving?”
“Friday,” he said.
I looked at him curiously, and he read my question on my face.
“I have the symposium this weekend.”
I nodded.
“You know, Jas, it's not too late for you to go to school with me.”
I thought about what he said. “I know,” I finally said, “but that's not what I want to do.”
“So what are you going to do?” he asked. He got up to grab a bowl of cereal, holding up his bowl to silently ask if I wanted some, too. I nodded.
“I don't know yet. I guess I figured I would be cutting my album.” I thought about all the money I had been saving. “Maybe I can do it myself,” I said.
“You can do that while you go to school,” he said, passing me a bowl of Froot Loops and some milk.
“Yeah, I could,” I said thoughtfully, “but to get things jumping I need to stay in New York.”
“Well, I guess I can come home a couple of weekends and make a guest appearance on the album,” he said.
“Thank you,” I said, getting up to give him a hug.
“For what?” he asked.
“For being my big brother,” I said.
“Girl, go somewhere with that mess,” he said, pushing me away, but I saw him smiling.
I headed back to my room to get dressed. I had just gotten out of the shower when my cell phone rang. I figured it was probably T or Loretta, so I decided to let it go to voice mail.
I figured I would have a whole bunch of e-mails from both T and Loretta apologizing. There were only three messagesâone from Kyle, another from the guy who had paid me to DJ his party and another from Jessica, DC's assistant.
Jessica sounded busy as usual when I called, but she brightened up when she heard my voice. “Hey, Jasmine,” she said. “DC told me to put you right through. Hang on.” She put me on hold, and I listened to one of the latest top ten hits by one of DC Records' artists before DC came on the line.
“Good morning,” he said, and I wondered if he had a cigar in his mouth.
“Good morning,” I said.
“So, you ready to get started on your album?”
“What are you talking about?” I asked.
He laughed. “Oh, you get so many offers to record an album that you've forgotten all about mine?”
“You were serious about that?” I said.
He laughed again. “Look, I don't have time to play games,” he said. “I'm serious about changing my company's image, and I think you're just the person to do it.”
I grinned, realizing my dreams of landing a record deal were going to come true despite losing All-City.
“Cool,” I said.
“So when can you guys come in so we can negotiate this deal?”
“You guys?” I said.
“You and your brother. Word is you guys are a package deal.”
“Oh, you don't have to worry about him,” I said.
“I've heard him. He needs to be on the album,” DC said.
I knew Derrick didn't really like DC, but he had just offered to be on my album if I did it myself, so I didn't think he would mind.
“When do you want us there?” I asked.
“Tomorrow morning,” he said.
We wrapped up the details for the next day; then I went to find my brother, who was in his room packing. He must have felt my presence, because he looked up. “What?” he said.
“I got a record deal.”
His mouth dropped open. “Are you serious?” he said.
“DC just offered it to me,” I said.
He rolled his eyes and turned away. “I know you're not going to record with that man,” he said, his back to me.
“Derrick, come on. He's trying to change the image of the label.”
“But that's not going to change his image. The man is slime, Jas. You know that. Just stick with your plan of doing the album yourself. Your boyfriend and Kyle can help you with it.”
His mention of T brought tears to my eyes, but I refused to focus on him. “Why should I spend my own money for an album when DC's willing to spend his? Besides, he wants you on the album, too. With the money you'll make, you can pay for school.”
“I am not going to be on your album if you sign with DC.”
“Derrick, why are you tripping?” I asked.
“No, Jas, why are you tripping?”
“Fine,” I said. I realized there was no point in arguing with him, although I had already decided I was going to convince him to be on the album.
I spent the rest of the day waiting to hear from T or Loretta. T finally called, but I didn't want to speak to him. It was enough for me to know that he at least felt a little sorry for what had happened.
When Mama and Daddy got home, we decided to go out to dinner to celebrate everyone being home.
“I'm going to enjoy this moment while I can,” Mama said as we were walking out the door. “Both my babies will be gone next week.”
I guess she thought everything was really back to normal, but I had to quickly set her straight.
“Mama,” I said, “I'm still not going to school.”
I saw the anger in her eyes, but before she could say anything, Daddy touched her hand, silently asking her to be quiet.
“Let's talk about this later,” he said. “It's been a little while since we've gone out together as a family, and I want to enjoy it.”
Everyone agreed, although there was a tense quietness all the way to the restaurant.
After we ordered, I decided to bring up me not going to college. I figured there wasn't much yelling Mama would do in a restaurant.
I was wrong.
After I told Mama and Daddy about my deal with DC Records, Mama really lost it.