Speak Now (13 page)

“I’d be sorry if you didn’t. Have a good morning.”

~*~*~*~

Carly waited for her in her office. “Okay, girl, I want to hear every word—that is one killer skirt. Where’d you get it?”

“Skirt, Mom, word… get me a dictionary and pull up a chair. This is going to be one very long, boring bedtime story.”

Cara gave her friend and coworker a quick smile as she set her laptop bag onto her desk, stowed way her purse, and raced to Tina’s desk for the list of morning calls and appointments. Carly didn’t leave. Instead, she sank into the chair usually reserved for Derek, crossed her legs, leaned back, and drummed her fingers on the arm.

“I’m waiting.”

“For what?” Why Cara bothered stalling, she didn’t know; it wouldn’t work. She hadn’t come prepared to discuss her relationship with Jonathan—such as it was. She needed time to determine how much information she cared to share and what wasn’t up for discussion.

“Half the office is buzzing. First the lunch dates, then the rose, now he’s practically seducing you in the parking lot…”

“Oh, give me a break, he was just telling me he’d see me later. You guys turn everything into such a huge—”

“It looked like some serious kissing to me.”

“That’s exactly what I told him,” Cara retorted smugly. “I can’t wait to tell him I was right.”

“I’ll bet you can’t. Who is he, where’d you meet, how often have you seen him, and when’s the wedding?”

Ticking off each item on her fingers like a reminder list, Cara answered quickly. “Jonathan Lyman, at Julia’s wedding, every day for lunch and dinner since Sunday, and he’s going back to Atlanta on Monday, so I think you can scratch maid of honor off your to-do list for this year.”

“Atlanta?” Cara almost felt sorry for her
friend. Carly looked crushed. “But you guys look so cute together.”

“It’s not going anywhere, Carly. It can’t. We’re just enjoying this week while we have it before we both return to our normal and very distant busy lives.”

“Maybe you guys could fly back and forth on weekends—meet in Chicago or Pittsburg for dates. New York even.”

“He has two children, Carly. He can’t go rushing off to places unknown for the adventure of it, even if I could afford it. We’re just becoming friends, and I’m pretty sure he wants to keep it that way.” She had a stroke of genius as she spoke. “When I told him everyone would think we were kissing, he told me he decided the first day we wouldn’t have that kind of relationship.”

So the truth of his words didn’t match the meaning of them in this particular context. Cara was desperate to appease her friend and stop the grilling before Carly forced her to confess her feelings or lie. She settled for honest words without revealing the why. Surely, the deception was understandable in the circumstances. She could tell Carly about it later when it wouldn’t hurt so much.

“No weekend visits?”

“Nope.” She tried to keep her disappointment from showing.

“No long chats on the phone at night after work?”

“Nope.” Cara almost laughed at the idea of long chats with Jonathan over anything.

“No romantic dates, chocolate, flowers, or expensive jewelry ‘just because?’”

“Nope.”

Before Carly could ask another question, Tina knocked on Cara’s door, opening it as she did. “Sorry, but these just came and I don’t have room for them on my desk until you’re done…” An enormous bouquet of lavender roses filled the doorway.

“No flowers, huh…” Carly reached for the card, snatched it, and put it behind her back. “You tell me the truth, girl, or I’m going to read this before you.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“No, but I want you to pretend I would and spill it.”

Tina took her cue and slipped from the room, closing the door behind her. Cara held out her hand with the bossy air that she
exuded when people in the office didn’t do their jobs to Cara’s satisfaction. “Give. Me. The card.”

“Not until you tell me the truth.”

“Carly, every word I’ve told you is absolute truth. I’ve not told you everything, no, but everything I have told you is one hundred percent true.”

“Even the bit about not having a romantic relationship with you?”

“He specifically said this morning that he decided he wasn’t going to let himself go there.”

“He’s already there, Cara. Look at those roses. I bet this card—”

Resigned, Carly passed the card to her, and Cara absorbed every word before rolling her eyes and passing it back. “Read it.” Cara knew Carly would never rest until she knew everything, and when Jonathan left, she’d need someone who understood.

“
‘Did you know flowers have their own language?’
What’s that about?”

Without a word, Cara pulled her laptop from the case, flipped open the lid and plugged it in as it booted. “It’s, well, it’s Jonathan. He doesn’t talk much, so it’s kind of a private joke and a puzzle all in one.” She called up Google as she spoke muttering, “
Language, flowers, Victorian…that should do it…come on…there. Rose…rose…”

Carly hurried to hover behind Cara’s chair, trying to see the screen. “There. Rose.”

“Red… true love. Yellow… dying love or platonic love…”

“Glad he didn’t give you those
—”

“There. Lavender. Oh!” Cara’s face flushed. She shouldn’t have told Carly what Jonathan meant.

“Well, I was bummed about the no red thing, but now I’m thinking lavender is better.
Love at first sight!
What’s this ‘not that kind of relationship’ business!”

“Will you keep it down?” Cara glanced at the door. She slowly closed her laptop and sank back into the chair. “Okay, so I wasn’t honest about the context of what he said.”

“I knew it. He was kissing you.”

“No, and he won’t kiss me, Carly, but only because both of us know it’s a bomb waiting to blow up on us.”

“I so don’t get it. What are you talking about? Bomb?”

Sometimes, Cara wondered how her best friend could be so dense. “We’ve been highly attracted to each other
since I walked down that aisle. Did you know his daughter thought I was the bride? It’s like electricity and magnetism all rolled into one whenever we’re together. We don’t touch—almost at all—and it’s smart. We shouldn’t. We just—we—we shouldn’t.”

“You’re falling in love with him.”

“I’ve already hit the ground,” Cara moaned.

“He’s obviously there, too.”

“Yes, but what good is it? He lives there, I live here, and neither of us is going to uproot ourselves for some serious chemistry.”

Dragging the chair around the desk, Carly seated herself in front of Cara and took her friend’s hands. “You’ve been single ever since I’ve known you. You walked into this office single and honestly, I was convinced you’d walk out on your retirement day just as single.”

“I date—”

“If it’s a work date. Don’t give me that garbage. You haven’t been interested in a man in the three years I’ve known you.” She held up her hand. “I’m not finished with you. Look at those roses. Look at what he said. He’s putting himself out there. He didn’t have to send these to this office. He could have sent just one with that note. He didn’t have to make his appearances so public, and he didn’t have to make himself so obvious to the world, but he did.”

“So where are you going with this?”

“Do not let this man go.” She closed her eyes and shook her head at Cara’s attempted interruption. “I’m not saying don’t let him get on the plane—”

“Train.”

“Train. Whatever. I’m saying have a message on his answering machine, an email in his inbox, and a call while he’s traveling. Send pictures of you guys and work for this.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re in love with this guy and that’s a gift from the Lord Himself. You’d be the biggest, most arrogant fool of all times to throw it back and say, ‘Sorry, Lord, it’s too inconvenient and way too much work. I’ll do without, thank you very much.’”

“Carly?”

“Hmm?”

“I love you.”

Carly pulled a rose from the vase and rubbed it lightly against her dark skin. “I know.”

“The park again?”

“Too repetitive?” Jonathan pulled sandwiches from a brown paper bag with the name of Rockland’s best deli stamped across it lengthwise.

“Actually, I like it. This was my favorite place, and it gets tiresome trying to outdo yourself all the time.” She peeked in her wrapper. “Pastrami! How did you know?”

“My mom knows your pastor who knows your mom so they made some calls and voilà.”

She stared at the wrapped sandwich, her mouth nearly watering with anticipation and then at her skirt in dread. “I make such a mess…”

“Close your eyes. Don’t open them until I tell you.” He waited for her to close her eyes and pulled something else from the bag.

Cara felt something slip over her head and prayed it wasn’t a bib. It was humiliating enough that she still left half her sandwich on her person before she finished eating but a bib
would just be too much. He gently pulled her hair away from her neck and then smoothed it as the waves fell between her shoulder blades. He draped it around her and fumbled with something before she felt him pull the item close, giving it away.

“It’s an apron.”

“Surprise!”

“How’d you know?” she demanded as she glanced down at the baker’s apron covering her.
Tony’s Deli
was stamped on it in block letters that matched the bag on the bench between them.

“Your mom said not to go to the deli. She didn’t want your clothes ruined, so I promised to bring a towel.”

“This isn’t a towel.”

He shrugged and took a large bite of his turkey and Swiss. “Sue me,” he quipped before concentrating his attention on his sandwich.

A few minutes passed as they ate their meals and sipped the bottles of soda he’d purchased. Shaking off her nerves, Cara laughed at the curious glances he gave her, rolled up the sandwich wrappings, and stuffed them in the bag. “So, the office is buzzing about an ostentatious display of affection that arrived this morning.”

“Ostentatious,” Jonathan echoed as he took a swig of Pepsi. “That’s an ominous word.”

“Well, along with this display was this note with a hint to what the display might mean.”

“Oh, really?”

Cara’s eyes slid sideways to try to catch his thoughts. “I looked up the significance of this display and…” She hesitated. “Why so many? There has to be three dozen roses in that thing.”

“I didn’t want to leave any doubt.”

“That’s what Carly said.”

“Who?”

Cara jumped to her feet, gathered their trash, and beckoned him to follow. As they walked the small pathways of the little park, she told him of her conversation with Carly, what Carly thought it all meant, and finally of Carly’s insistence that she do everything in her power to keep Jonathan close—even when he was far away from her. As she finished, she returned to the bench, sat down, and laid her arm along the back of the bench, resting her head in her hand.

“Will you do it?”

“Do what?”

Pinching the bridge of his nose with his fingers, Jonathan visibly struggled to speak clearly. “Will you fight—like she said?”

“To a point, probably.”

“What point?”

“I don’t know,” she admitted. “I just know that as much as I’m not ready to see this—whatever this is—end, I’m not willing to risk having my heart ripped out either.”

“Oh, Cara mia, I woudn’t,” Jonathan insisted.

“Not deliberately, no. No, you wouldn’t.”

Thoughts flew between them faster than words ever could have. As they sat on the bench beneath a Japanese maple tree, they “discussed” Jonathan’s letter, Carly’s observations, and studiously avoided even thinking about the rapidity in which the days flew by them. Cara opened her mouth to say something aloud when Jonathan’s phone rang.

~*~*~*~

“Hello?” He smiled at the sound of Riley’s voice. “Yes, she got the flowers. Yes, she liked them. Yes, you can talk to her.” He passed the phone to her. “Riley wants to talk to you.”

“You told her?”

“We picked them out together yesterday. I had a hard time steering her away from the yellow and the white.”

Turning all of her attention to Riley in the delightfully infuriating way she had, Cara took the phone and leaned away from him. “Hello, Riley. I hear you went flower shopping yesterday.” The eager little girl told about the daisies, the orchids, and the sunflowers she saw but assured Cara that they hadn’t considered anything but the roses.

“Well, I think you chose perfectly. They’re exactly what I would have hoped for if I had thought to hope. You did a very good job not giving away the surprise last night…”

As Cara talked with his children, Jonathan listened amazed. Her ease, her genuine interest, and the way she gave them her full attention without concern for how he’d see that endeared her further. She sounded delighted one minute, sympathetic the next, and even her mild rebuke was as gentle as a summer shower. Who wouldn’t fall in love with a woman like that?