Sparks Fly! A Divine Creek July 4th Family Reunion (11 page)

Rachel Wolf sighed tiredly as she buckled her seat belt. She glanced in the rearview mirror at eight-month-old Levi tucked securely into his car seat. Her smile felt weary as she reached back and stroked his straight black hair from his forehead. She’d never trade him, his father, or her life for anything, but as she turned forward and put the truck in “Drive,” tears misted her eyes. Her heart thumped with guilt as she hastily swiped them when they overflowed, hoping Eli didn’t see the action as he drove his bike right behind her truck.

They were heading out to her parents’ place to drop Levi off for the evening. From there, she was riding with Eli out to the lake on his bike then over to The Dancing Pony for the rest of the evening.

Having napped well with Levi earlier, she should’ve felt rested, but the exact opposite was the case. The heat played a role, as did lack of sleep, but she would’ve been just as content to take Levi home and go right to bed. Instead, she still had the whole evening to look forward to, which was supposed to be a good thing. She wasn’t sure where her strength and energy had gone lately.

Karaoke had helped her to bounce back a bit, because clowning around with little Michael and her friends always made her happy, but the feeling had dissipated quickly. Whenever her feelings reached the surface, she’d suck it up and do what needed doing. But while she was alone, she let the tears flow, hoping Eli wouldn’t notice her bloodshot eyes and red nose.

Rachel scoffed and swiped again, swallowing them back after only a minute or two. Eli noticed
everything
where she was concerned.

Eli’s kiss, after he’d buckled Levi into his car seat, had been warm and tender, and not merely a quick peck. It was a kiss of love and ultimately responsible for the tears she fought now. He knew just how to touch her heart, and he probably suspected that something was wrong.

After traversing the distance to her parents’ house, she felt more in control of her emotions. She smiled happily for her mom and dad when they greeted her and took their grandson and his overnight bag from her. Forcing a smile, she kissed her them good-bye and walked past her truck in the dim driveway to where Eli was waiting with her helmet.

She should feel energized, looking forward to a whole night spent with just him, but she still wanted nothing more than to go to bed. She hadn’t ridden anywhere with Eli since before she’d gotten pregnant, and they took the baby with them practically everywhere, so they were usually in one of the trucks.

“Ready to ride, angel?” He looked at her closely in the dusky light, seeming to see inside to the welling darkness she was trying to keep hidden.

Over the lump in her throat, she whispered, “Yeah.”

She put the helmet on to hide her face from his view for a moment while she swallowed back a fresh wave of emotion and turned so he could help with her hair. He’d pulled his own hair back into a long braid before they left the ranch.

After starting his Harley, he held out his hand and assisted her as she climbed on behind him. She bit her lip as she scooted in close, pressing as much of her body as she could to his.

Her libido had taken a nosedive after having Levi the previous November, and she was beginning to worry because it had yet to bounce back. Eli had been incredibly patient with her, making sure when they did make love that she was thoroughly satisfied every time, but she didn’t feel the way she had before.

She was afraid to admit to Eli that it was possible she had some sort of hormonal imbalance. The good Lord knew he was still any woman’s ultimate fantasy in how he performed and in the way he treated her. It was unfair to him to go through the motions the way she had been, and she wondered where the fire inside her had gone. Add to that the fact that she still had baby weight to lose and her entire self-image was a little battered.

Sales on her books were great, but she had felt no new inspiration since the release of her last book, shortly before Levi had been born. She’d intended all along to take a year off to devote her time and energy to being a mom, but it secretly frightened her that no new stories were brewing in her mind the way they had prior to the birth. Even in the midst of morning sickness, new characters had constantly whispered to her, but now? Nothing.

He turned his head and flipped up his visor. “You okay?”

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

He closed the visor, and they got back on the road. They arrived at the location predetermined by the group, off the scenic road which ran the perimeter of the lake. The fireworks were set up on a small island in the middle of the lake so no matter where they went along the shore, the show would be spectacular.

Eli parked beside Ethan Grant’s truck and stood with hand held out to take her helmet from her when she removed it, allowing the long coil of her dark-brown hair to unwind down her back. Her hair caught in the chin strap of the helmet, pulling painfully. She gasped as it yanked at the hair near her temples, sending shooting pain along those sensitive nerve endings. She cursed softly, and tears filled her eyes again.

Get a grip, you fucking ninny! It’s hair, not the end of the world!

“Whoa, let me help.” Eli set his helmet aside and held hers in one hand while he extricated her hair from the buckle.

Her lip trembled, and she breathed slowly through her nose, praying for calmness as the emotions surged within her, sure that he could hear the pounding of her heart over the conversations all around them.

Coming out here was a bad idea. I should’ve just taken Levi home. The day started too early, and it’s not near to being done. I was a fool to commit to so much today!

Eli loosened the hair and freed it, stowed the helmet with the other one, took the keys from the ignition, and secured the bike. Hoping nobody would notice her flushed face in the dark, she took his hand and prepared to join the others. He stopped her and turned her toward him. The moon was at its brightest, fullest point and illuminated blue and silver highlights in his jet-black hair, which was so much like their son’s. She bit her lip, knowing he would be able to see the tear tracks on her cheeks by the same light.

“Wait here, angel.”

Thankful for a respite from being sociable some more, Rachel leaned against his bike and waited. He returned a moment later, and without a word, he wrapped his arms around her and hugged her hard and just held on.

The tremble started out small, like she’d overused a muscle. But then it spread outward from her core until even her hands shook when she lifted them to wipe a strand of hair from her eyes. She buried her face in his chest as people walked by so they wouldn’t hear her sniffling as her crying jag signaled it was about to get its groove on.

Keeping it bottled up inside made her feel like she would explode, but he still just held on, not asking questions, only anchoring her. She dug her fingers into his back through his T-shirt, unable to stop herself from sinking her nails in as she held on for dear life. She muffled a sob against his chest that erupted from deep inside, and her tears wet his shirt as she cried silently while he stroked her hair down her back.

Her world tilted oddly as he lifted her into his arms and carried her across the road, away from the people finding spots to sit on the shoreline. She buried her face against his neck but was aware of the sound of his boots as he walked through the brush and occasionally felt the snap of a small tree branch or twig against her as he moved steadily uphill.

“Where are you taking me?”

“Up the hill where we can be alone but still see.”

“But Grace—”

“I checked in with her so she wouldn’t worry about us.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Angel, don’t.” He placed her on her feet and then settled down against the trunk of a large tree and beckoned to her. She hated that she felt self-conscious as she climbed into his lap. That was a powerful indicator for how off-center she felt because lap time with Eli had always been one of her favorite things. “We have a while before the show starts. Can you tell me what’s going on? It rips my heart out to hear and
feel
you cry like that.”

Rachel hiccupped, and the tears started again as she let it all out. Eli held her and gently rocked the whole time until she felt utterly deflated.

In the telling, she realized she should’ve taken Emma more seriously when she asked at her postpartum follow-up if she’d been feeling blue. To all appearances, Rachel had a perfect life and had answered “No.” To say otherwise implied that something wasn’t going right. Eli helped with the baby at every opportunity and had been the ideal dad and husband as far as she was concerned.

Obviously coming to the same conclusion, Eli asked, “Do you think it’s postpartum depression and has nothing at all to do with whether everything’s all right or not?”

“Telling you all of that leaves me feeling ungrateful. I
should
be happy. We are in love. We have a healthy son, and you’re a wonderful provider. I should be fucking
ecstatic
. Here I sit moping and crying like the world’s crashing down around me.”

“Is it possible this is depression brought on by stress, lack of sleep, and hormones?”

“Yes. I guess I’m just not willing to admit it. How did you know?”

“Besides the symptoms, your mom told me to watch for it. She thought you might be getting depressed. She said she suffered from it too, when you were a baby.”

Rachel looked up at him in shock. “When did she say
that
? All she’s ever told
me
was that she was so happy when I was born. She couldn’t get enough of me when I was an infant. She’d never felt more blessed. Mom never said
anything
about having postpartum depression.”

In the light of the moon, Rachel could clearly see his smile and the light reflecting in the pale gray of his eyes. “Angel, did you hear yourself? You just told me you felt all the same things. You
were
happy when Levi was born. You
can’t
get enough of him. You said yourself you’ve
never
felt more blessed. It’s possible to feel all those things and still be depressed. It’s a product of all those factors I mentioned. Plus, you’re being really hard on yourself, and pushing yourself too much. Take today for instance. You insisted that you could handle
all
the activities that were planned.”

“I have in the past.”

“But not when you’re feeling under par. Where is it written that we had to be present for the whole day?”

“But then I miss all the fun.”

“It’s not fun to watch you fight tears, angel. I wondered how long you’d last. Although, it was nice to see you singing with Michael. I had a feeling you’d crater eventually but didn’t want you to think I was curtailing your freedom. The temperature got to one hundred four degrees today, which didn’t help, either. We’re going home after the fireworks, and then you can get a full night’s rest.”

“We’ll see. Maybe I’ll bounce back now that the sun has gone down. I love you, Eli.”

She tightened her arms around his neck and kissed beneath his jaw bone. His five o’clock shadow scraped against her lips and made them tingle. When she licked them she tasted a hint of salt, and her mouth watered. His masculine scent permeated her senses, and she nestled close to him, smiling at the warmth growing in her core. Maybe she wasn’t dead inside after all.

Eli squeezed her tight. “I love you too, angel. I wish I’d talked with you about this sooner. At times you seemed to struggle then other times seemed to be okay. Since you had Levi, I think you’re even more beautiful, more…womanly and sexier than ever.”

Rachel stuck her fingernail into the stubborn pudge that remained at her abdomen. “You find this sexy?”

Eli frowned and smoothed his hand over her soft abdomen and around her hip to her ass cheek in a sensual caress. “Don’t be so hard on this body. I love it. And a few pounds doesn’t change that.”

“But I—”

Eli smiled and swiped a strand of hair from her forehead. “You what?”

“I jiggle when I move. When we make love…” Things wobbled now that had been firm before.

A soft growl rasped from his throat, and a thrill rippled up her spine at the sexy sound. “I know. You’re so soft. I’ve always loved holding you and it didn’t matter if it was before Levi, while you were pregnant, or after he was born. I’d hold you tighter, but I’m afraid of hurting you. This soft, beautiful body you just criticized is my idea of heaven on earth, so go easy on it.” Rachel hadn’t felt herself blush in a while, but her cheeks warmed as she listened to his heartfelt words. He squeezed her as if to punctuate his statement. “And if you don’t stop wiggling on my lap I’m going to have to show you just how
much
I love it.”

“Oh, yeah? Do you love it this much?” She held up her index fingers about three inches apart. “Or this much?” She giggled and spaced them only slightly farther apart while shifting her hips back and forth on the hard ridge beneath her ass.

“Angel,” Eli growled warningly as he pressed back against her. Rachel sighed happily as her pussy warmed and swelled with desire for him.

“This much?” She felt naughty as she spread her fingers a good ten inches apart. “I could handle
this
much for sure.” Her cunt quivered in agreement.