Authors: Rudy Rucker
Spaceland (13 page)
What with being four-dimensional, the hyperbazooka. looked pretty funky. I assumed the gray-clad Klupper was one of the family business's guards that Momo had been talking about. He called some kind of question to Momo and she answered. The Kluppers' native speech sounded a little like Chinese and a little like a tape played backwardsâtuneful swoops of sound with unexpected long pauses.
After some more conversation, the guard saluted Momo and continued on his way. I was a little disappointed that he hadn't come closer to marvel at flat Joe Cube from the land of three dimensions. Well, maybe he hadn't noticed me. Momo had me squashed as tightly to her body as a sticker on a banana. Looking out into the
distance I noticed more Kluppers in the air between Spaceland and the cliffs.
distance I noticed more Kluppers in the air between Spaceland and the cliffs.
“Do they all work for your family?” I asked Momo.
“Perhaps half of them do,” she said. “The others are minions of the Empress, stationed here to watch over your precious Spaceland. You can distinguish the soldiers by their crimson uniforms and gold-colored saucers. Although it's our taxes who support them, the Empress's troops don't even help us chase the Dronners. And woe betide any of our guards who happens to shoot in the direction of Spacelandânot that our power-beams affect your flat matter. The Dronners know of the Empress's injunction, and they take advantage. They're devilishly cunning.”
Suddenly I remembered who Momo sounded like: a rich kid I'd known in business school. He was in line to inherit the ownership of a big logging company, and he had had that same sense of divine entitlement. Any threat to his inherited wealth was an attack on the natural order of things, to be exterminated by any means necessary. He used to talk about having the Earth First tree-sitters shot for trespassing. On top of that, he was after Jena all the time, and she was slightly interested in him. I was liking Momo less all the time.
We continued flying upwards and the walls of the cave drew closer. They were larger and more imposing than I'd imagined, far bigger than the Rockies. I felt like an ant. Draped all down one of the nearest cliffs was a tangle of glowing cream and lavender fingers, gently waving in the air. There was a nice smell coming off them. As they moved, their shapes altered in a lovely way. Viewed with my regular eyes, their long, tubular stalks would bulge up at the tip to form a ball that opened up a hole inside it. Then they'd sway back, the hole would close, and the big ball would melt back into the stalks. That morphing thing again, which meant I was seeing different slices in the fourth dimension.
“Grolly?” I asked Momo, half worried I'd set off another of her rants.
“That's right,” she said expansively. “It's all my family's property. Go ahead and take some.” She swung in close to the grolly thickets, but not close enough to touch. Maybe twenty feet off.
“Closer, Momo,” I urged.
“No,” said Momo, enjoying herself. “Time for your flying lesson. I warrant that you can do it. There's legends of our ancestors teaching Spacelanders to fly. Flap your whole body in hyperspace. You're flatter than one of your stingrays. It should work quite nicely. Lift your stomach vout like you did before, and then push it rapidly vinn. Employ your arms and legs, as well. In the manner of swimming.”
“This is for your entertainment, or what?”
“Perhaps. And think, Joe, should we be separated at some time, you'll be glad for this skill if you want to make your own way back to Spaceland.”
“Why not just give me a flying saucer like yours?”
“They're too valuable.”
It took me a while to get the knack of the proper bucking motion. As far as the fourth dimension went, I was a thin hypersheet of skin and muscle. It made me an efficient flapper. My third eye bobbed around like mad, making me so seasick that I stopped paying attention to what I saw with it. In my regular vision, pieces of my body kept drifting in and out of view.
I soon got hold of a grolly plant and pulled off the fruit at its tip. Depending what angle I looked at it from, it was like a dumpling or a doughnut. To my third eye, it was a dumpling inside a doughnut. Or the other way around. I nibbled at it, enjoying it just as much as my first sample. One other thing worth mentioning is that the grolly seemedâhow to say thisâmore
aware
than plants usually are. The stalks of the plants were reacting to my motions,
leaning towards me as if to offer me their fruits. It was like they were dancing with me.
aware
than plants usually are. The stalks of the plants were reacting to my motions,
leaning towards me as if to offer me their fruits. It was like they were dancing with me.
At this point I noticed a couple of grolly guards floating on saucers nearby, both armed like the one I'd seen before. They didn't look any too happy about my eating the grolly. But for now they were just watching.
I glanced back down towards Spaceland, that giant glass paperweight with busy little Los Perros inside it. I revolved it in my mind's eye, looking at it this way and that. I wondered if Jena was back yet, and if she was looking for me.
“Would I really be able to flap all the way home on my own?” I asked Momo.
“I would deem so,” said Momo. “You have a highly advantageous ratio of surface area to mass.” She guided her saucer to a lush clump of grolly plants some thirty yards away from me and began picking some of the fruits for herself, stashing most of them in the folds of her dress, but eating a few as well. The grolly stalks around her began swaying and dancing with excitement.
Finally one of the grolly guards flew over. His skin was of a purplish tinge. He spoke sharply to Momoâon a second hearing, the Klupper speech sounded less like backwards Chinese and more like birds and car engines. Momo answered him, gesturing towards me as she talked. The guard said something else, and finally Momo dug down into her gold dress and handed him a shiny sphere that might have been a coin. “Come on now, Joe,” called Momo. “This fellow's new, he doesn't quite believe that I'm one of his employers. Fly after me and my saucer. It'll be good practice for you.” The guard glared at me and made a get-going gesture with his gun. Maybe he thought I was some kind of Dronner.
I flapped after Momo, gasping with the effort. She idled along, tauntingly just out of reach, leading me up and vout to where the mountains and hills broke into canyons. We flew into one of great
ravines, and just when it looked like we'd hit a dead end, Momo veered vinnward. I curved my body and sailed after her, cutting the air like a knife. The wall ahead of us opened into a huge vertical tunnel that seemed to go up forever. All at once I was too scared and tired to go on. I wanted to be home talking things over with Jena. I hung there in the overwhelming vastness, feeling like a dust speck in a mineshaft. Far beneath me I could still glimpse Spaceland, ringed all around by the rocks of the canyon that led to the shaft.
ravines, and just when it looked like we'd hit a dead end, Momo veered vinnward. I curved my body and sailed after her, cutting the air like a knife. The wall ahead of us opened into a huge vertical tunnel that seemed to go up forever. All at once I was too scared and tired to go on. I wanted to be home talking things over with Jena. I hung there in the overwhelming vastness, feeling like a dust speck in a mineshaft. Far beneath me I could still glimpse Spaceland, ringed all around by the rocks of the canyon that led to the shaft.
I was in fact sinking downwards towards Spaceland. Though I'd felt weightless before, up here there was a faint gravitational pull back towards the center of the Cave Between Worlds. Momo was far above me, high into the great bright tunnel. It seemed the air up there was glowing like the air in the rest of the Cave. The walls around me were jagged rocks with a few grolly seedlings, everything shifting and morphing as I moved. What was I doing here? I continued to drift down.
“You're lagging, Joe,” said Momo, swooping back down to join me. “Are you weary?”
“I want to go home now.”
“Pish,” said Momo, gathering me into her arms. “Tush. Piffle. You still haven't seen the town where I live. It's called Grollytonâthe gathering and distribution of grolly is our region's most important business.”
“How much further is it?”
“Eight hundred miles.”
“What!”
“Look out!” Momo darted to one side, and three Kluppers on an oversized boatlike saucer came sailing down the shaft, barely missing us. They veered vout and disappeared around the lip of the canyon we'd come in through. “They're here to ferry up the grolly harvest,” said Momo. “This tunnel is the principal path from our
part of Klupdom to the Cave Between Worlds. My great-great-great-grandmother Helga discovered it. At top speed, it's a half hour's flight to the top, and perhaps twenty minutes to fly hack down. A bit of a labyrinth, but easy enough for those who know the way.”
part of Klupdom to the Cave Between Worlds. My great-great-great-grandmother Helga discovered it. At top speed, it's a half hour's flight to the top, and perhaps twenty minutes to fly hack down. A bit of a labyrinth, but easy enough for those who know the way.”
“I don't want to go!”
“You must experience the glory of Klupdom, Joe,” said Momo. “Once you familiarize yourself with my land, you may come to love it more than your Spaceland. To my family's way of thinking, Spaceland is, after all, just a troublesome curtain which hides the machinations of the filthy Dronners.”
It disturbed me that Momo had this odd resentment towards my universe, but before I could come up with an answer, we'd taken off upwards, as if on some nightmare elevator. The saucer's windshield curved far around us, but even so, the air beat against me, threatening to tear me loose. I pressed my body against Momo. The walls flew by, a steady blur. I could feel myself getting heavier as we rose. As we moved, my third eye saw a textured mass of solids and gaps in which everything was streaming outwards from the center. We swerved left, right, vinn and vout with sickening lurches. Soon I could see a ball of light up above, and then we shot out of the tunnel's spherical mouth.
There was a cluster of buildings near the tunnel's mouth: Momo's family grollyworks and two barracks, one for the gray-suited grolly guards and one for the Empress's crimson-uniformed troops. Some of the grolly guards were unloading one of the bargelike saucers of freshly harvested grolly sent up from down below. Others were setting neat packages of grolly into a smaller saucer with a cover on it. A delivery van.
Momo didn't stop to talk with any of the guards and soldiers, and they freely let her go. I don't think they noticed me at all. Their buildings looked like great sturdy boxes that flexed and
warped as we flew pastâit would take me some time to get the knack of understanding four-dimensional perspective. Just a bit further on, we touched down in a field.
warped as we flew pastâit would take me some time to get the knack of understanding four-dimensional perspective. Just a bit further on, we touched down in a field.
It was a pleasant, grassy landscape, with rolling meadows and a river. A flock of small animals was hopping around where we landed, things with transparent wings on bodies like balls of rubber bands that shimmered with every color of the rainbow. They were busy pecking at the ground, digging into it with conical beaks. As we approached, they squawked and flapped away. In the middle distance were the towers of a town. Grollyton. Jena would have liked seeing this.
Momo set me on the ground and I immediately fell over onto my vinn side, feeling the rocks and grass against my higher skin, the ground pressing against all of my muscles and organs. A nasty sensation. Momo was laughing at me. After a minute's struggle, I managed to right myself. I bent one leg vinn and one leg vout, giving me some stability. To my regular eyes it looked as if my legs disappeared in the middle of my thigh, but my third eye could make out the way I had them splayed apart. In this world I was like a cardboard cut-out of a man, and it was hard not to fall over.
I walked around a bit, getting the feel of things. As well as being able to step to my left, right, front, and back, here in Klupdom I could take sidesteps in the vinn or vout directions. My regular eyes saw an Earthlike landscape, but it was just one of an endless number of landscapes parallel to each other in the fourth dimension. For instance I'd see a tree in one of the landscapes, but it wouldn't be there anymore when I walked a few yards to my vinn.
My third eye was able to combine all the images into one; it was a little like looking at a series of translucent landscapes overlaid on top of each other. In this view I could clearly see a dirt road that led towards us from the town, a path that my regular eyes saw only in bits and pieces.
Some Kluppers were coming along the path towards us. In the lead was a coffee-colored man with smooth, powerful motions. His shape was much fuller than Momo's. He was followed by a tense, smaller man talking urgently to a calm, plump woman, and behind them was a bent older woman with white hair. Not that they were really men and women. Their arms and legs seemed to move right through their bodies as they walked. They wore richly colored clothes. Prancing along behind them was something like a dog. I felt very naked.
Momo called a cheerful greeting in her native language as the dark man strode up to us. He returned the greeting and gave Momo a loving embrace. He walked around me, looking me over. “Behold the Spacelander,” he said in English after a minute, talking the same old-fashioned way as Momo. “Welcome to Klupdom, Joe Cube. I am Voule.”
“Hello, Voule,” I said and held out my hand. His grip was strong. He gave a big coarse laugh, whirled me around, and slung me high up into the air. I was completely disoriented by the spinning, but when I felt myself. falling back down, I was able to start flapping hard enough to keep from smashing into the ground. I landed near the plump young woman.
“Don't be so mean, Father,” she called to Voule in English. “You'll frighten him.” She reached out and ran her hand across my higher skin. I felt it as a tickling in my lungs. “I'm Kalla,” she told me, enunciating very clearly. “Momo and Voule's daughter. Voule didn't hurt you, did he?” Her dog sniffed at my leg and then gave me a lick that I felt all the way down to the deepest part of my calf muscle. Kalla pushed the dog away and scolded him. “Leave the Spacelander alone, Gogo. You'll frighten him.”
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